Forgiven

by Vanessa Miller

  “Well then, what basis did you have for not liking your son-in-law if he hadn’t done anything wrong yet?” Tom asked.

  Mattie hunched her shoulders as if the logic of the matter didn’t much concern her. “I got a problem with a lot of people, some I don’t even know. I just didn’t like him. Simple as that. He ended up proving me right.”

  “Have these problems,” he did air quotation marks and then continued, “that you have with a lot of people ever caused you to get on a witness stand and lie?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mattie said defiantly.

  Tom pointed toward the exit and said, “Your daughter is distraught. She has been removed from this room with tear filled eyes because of the lies you just told.”

  Mattie folded her arms against her chest. “Cassandra will be all right.”

  “How, when you’ve just accused her of mistreating a child that she loves with all her heart?” Tom demanded to know.

  “She shouldn’t have to mother a child that’s not hers,” Mattie mumbled.

  JT thought the worse was over after Mattie got off the stand. But Diane wasn’t through with them. Her therapist brought out the pictures she’d taken of Cassandra at lunch with her attorney and accused Cassandra of running around on him. Mattie was still sitting in the audience when Diane’s attorney started passing around those pictures. She jumped out of her seat, outraged this time. “That’s a lie! My daughter ain’t never cheated on that man. And y’all not gon’ lie on her like that.”

  The judge gave Mattie a scornful look and said, “Ma’am, you’re here as a witness for the defense. Please sit back down.”

  “Not anymore I’m not. Y’all got me twisted, bent and all broke up if you think I’m gon’ stay in here listening to this bunch of bull.” She grabbed her purse and strutted out of the courtroom.

  JT saw her rub her jaw as if it ached, and wondered if just because he thought about slapping the taste out of her mouth, had God actually done it for him? JT hoped so. And he willed his mind to slap her again.

  By the end of that day’s hearing, JT knew that they were in trouble. Tom tried to reassure him by saying, “Tomorrow’s another day, man. They may have lied in here today, but we’ve got the truth on our side.”

  JT hoped that the truth would be enough. He found Cassandra and walked to her car with her. “Give me the keys. I’m going to drive you home.”

  “What about your car?” Cassandra asked.

  “My car is still at work. I rode here with Tom.”

  She took the keys out of her purse and handed them to JT. “Thanks, I didn’t feel much like driving.”

  As JT drove off Cassandra asked him, “What happened to make my mother storm out of the courtroom?”

  “You saw her leave?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You didn’t talk to her?”

  A look of anger clung to Cassandra’s eyes as she swore, “I will never speak to that woman again. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what happened. So spill it.”

  JT glanced at his wife. She looked so distraught, he didn’t know how much more she would be able to take, but he didn’t want to lie to her. He was still working on restoring the trust she’d once had in him, so if he lied, even to protect her, Cassandra’s faith in him might be shaken again. “You were right when you told me that Diane was going to use those pictures of you and your therapist against us. Her attorney showed those photos after your mother got off the stand and accused you of being too busy having an affair to take care of Lily.”

  The tears started falling again. Cassandra leaned against JT’s arm and said, “We’re going to lose our baby.”

  “No we’re not, Sanni. Don’t say that.”

  “It’s true.”

  “It looks bad. I agree with you on that. But we have to trust God.”

  She opened the glove compartment, took out some tissue and blew her nose. “My own mother put the nail in our coffin. How could she do that?”

  JT wished he had an answer for Cassandra. But the only thing that came to him was that Mattie did what she did simply because she had the devil in her. But did he really want to tell his wife that he thought her mother was pure evil?

  They picked up the kids and went home. The rest of the evening JT noticed that Cassandra held onto Lily a little longer than usual. She would change her diaper and then, instead of sitting her back down with the boys, Cassandra would rock Lily in her arms and kiss her forehead before putting her down. If Lily cried for any reason, Cassandra ran to her, picked her up and held her so tight that Lily cried to be put back down.

  JT ached for his wife. It was as if with each hug, Cassandra was fighting against her mother’s lies. After the third attempt to cater to Lily’s every whim, he sat Cassandra down and asked her, “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing,” she said, oblivious to her own actions.

  “You haven’t spent any time with the boys since we got home. They’re going to start wondering why you’re only holding Lily.”

  Tears bubbled in her eyes as she said, “My mother accused me of neglecting Lily, now you’re accusing me of neglecting the boys?”

  He wanted to tell her that nobody with any sense believed a word her mother said. But he knew his words would not take the pain she was feeling from her mother’s betrayal away. So he left it alone and let her do what she needed to in order to get through the evening.

  As he and Cassandra were putting the kids to bed, Bishop called. “What’s up, Bishop? I’m helping Cassandra get the kids ready for bed so I can’t talk long.”

  “I’m not going to keep you. I just thought you should know that I received a subpoena today.”

  “What? She subpoenaed you to our custody hearing too?”

  Cassandra came running out of the boys’ room and into their bedroom where JT was on the phone. “Who else did she subpoena?”

  “I didn’t get a subpoena for your custody hearing. This one is about you manipulating her into having sex,” Bishop responded.

  “I did not.”

  “You didn’t what? And who else has been subpoenaed?” Cassandra asked as she stood beside JT looking anxious.

  He turned to his wife. “Bishop received a subpoena. It’s not for the custody case though.” JT couldn’t bring himself to name the other case just then. But he saw from the look in Cassandra’s eyes that she understood.

  “Oh.” She turned around and walked back out of the room.

  “You’re going to have to learn how to speak low so Cassandra doesn’t hear everything you say,” Bishop said.

  JT rolled his eyes. “I’ve kept enough secrets from Cassandra, Bishop. I’m tired of hiding from the truth.”

  “And I guess you think telling the truth is going to smooth things over with you and Cassandra? How do you think she’s going to feel when she hears about that deposition you just gave?”

  “I don’t think she wanted to hear something like that from me, but I already confessed everything to Cassandra. The way I see it, if my marriage is going to work, it’s not going to be because I lied my way back into Cassandra’s good graces.”

  “Well, if you want my opinion, you’re going about this all wrong. You’ve tied the church’s hands. I don’t know how in the world we are going to be able to help you with a confession like that on record,” Bishop said.

  “I’m sorry if my confession puts the church in a bad light, Bishop. But I can’t turn back now. That’s what happened. I wish it hadn’t, but it did.”

  “All right then, my boy. I have to come to town next week so our lawyers can help me work on my statements, so I guess I’ll see you then.”

  “Okay, Bishop, I’ll talk to you soon,” JT said and then hung up the phone.

  That night when they went to bed, Cassandra asked JT, “Why do you suppose my father hasn’t admitted to what he did to my mother?”

  “I don’t know, baby. Maybe he’s ashamed of what happened, and can’t deal with it hims
elf, let alone admit it to other people.”

  “Maybe he’s worried about losing his nice cushy bishop title. Maybe he’d rather be called bishop than father by someone like me.”

  They were facing each other as they lay in bed talking, but that comment made JT sit up. “What do you mean, someone like you? What’s wrong with you?”

  “Parents don’t always love their children like they’re supposed to. Look at how my mother treated me today. That was not love and nobody can convince me of anything different.”

  “Your mother has issues, but I think what happened today had more to do with her hatred of me than her lack of love for you.”

  “Okay, then what about my father? He won’t even claim me. He’s always been a good father to his other children. So, something must be wrong with me.”

  “I’m not going to let you do this to yourself, Sanni. You are the most lovable person I know. I did you wrong, your mother did you wrong, and yes, your father is wronging you by not telling the world that you are his. But none of this is a judgment against you.” He pulled his wife into his arms and continued. “We have a whole lot of repenting to do, Sanni, but not you.”

  And like a river, the tears flowed as she held onto JT. Every so often he would whisper in her ear, “It’s going to be okay, Sanni. I promise you, it will be better in the morning.”

  Late into the night, she curled up against him and went to sleep as he promised her yet again that things would be better in the morning. But unfortunately, by morning, things got worse.

  Twenty-Two

  The phone rang at seven in the morning. Because of the fitful night’s sleep he and Cassandra had, JT was tempted not to answer it. But he turned over and stretched out his arm to pick up the phone anyway. “Hello,” he said groggily.

  “Is this Cassandra’s house?” the woman on the other end asked.

  JT rubbed his eyes. “Yeah, but she’s sleep.”

  “I wouldn’t have called so early, but Mattie had a heart attack.”

  “What? Who is this?” JT asked as he sat up in bed.

  “This is Joyce, Mattie’s neighbor. I called the ambulance for her. And Mattie told me to call Cassandra. She was mumbling something, but all I could make out was sorry.”

  “Okay, I’ll tell her. Thanks so much for calling.” JT hung up and nudged Cassandra.

  She hit his hand and mumbled, “Five more minutes.”

  “Cassandra, get up, honey,” he said as he nudged her again.

  She tossed and turned and then finally laid on her back looking up at him. “What’s so important it can’t wait a few more minutes?”

  “It’s your mother, Sanni.”

  “Was that her on the phone? You should have hung up in her face. I told you I’m not talking to that woman again in life.”

  “Sanni, don’t say that.” He rubbed her arm trying to figure out how to comfort her.

  Cassandra sat up. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and asked, “What’s wrong, baby?”

  She was calling him baby again. And all it took was for her mother to betray her. “It’s your mom. She’s in the hospital, honey. She had a heart attack this morning.”

  “What?” Cassandra asked, looking at him as if he’d just spoken in tongues and she was waiting on the interpretation.

  “We need to go to the hospital. You get dressed and I’ll take care of the children.” JT jumped out of bed and headed toward their bedroom door.

  “JT?”

  JT stopped and turned back to face his wife. The look on her face was horror stricken.

  “Is my mom dead?”

  JT tried to remember what Joyce had said. Something about the ambulance and the hospital. He didn’t think she would have said it like that if Mattie had died before the ambulance got to her. “No, baby, I don’t think so. Let’s just get our clothes on and go find out what’s going on. Okay?”

  Cassandra got out of bed and the two of them ran around the house getting everybody ready to leave. JT called Ms. Shirley and asked if she could watch the children for a little while. She said she could, so they dropped the kids off and headed to the hospital.

  ***

  “Why does her face look like that?” Cassandra demanded once she and JT were in the room Mattie had been placed in.

  “That’s from the stroke,” the nurse said matter-of-factly.

  “What stroke?” Cassandra asked with tears flooding her eyes.

  JT stepped closer to Cassandra and pulled her into his arms. He told the nurse, “We were told that she had a heart attack.”

  The nurse had Mattie’s chart in her hand, but she didn’t need to look at it. “I was on duty when she arrived. She had been brought in because of a heart attack, but suffered a stroke a minute upon arrival.”

  Mattie’s eyes were closed and her lips twisted upward on the left side of her face as though rigor mortis had set in. Cassandra clung to JT as she said, “She looks like she’s dead.”

  This time the nurse had compassion in her voice when she spoke. “Oh no, ma’am. The good thing about it is that she had the stroke while she was here. We were able to stop it from going any further.”

  “See, baby, it’s going to be all right,” JT said soothingly.

  Cassandra clung to her husband. “I didn’t want her to die. I promise, I didn’t.”

  “I know that, Sanni. Your mom knows that too.”

  “I-I told her I would never speak to her again. B-but I didn’t want it to be this way.”

  “Calm down, Cassandra. This is not your fault.” He looked toward the nurse and asked, “Can you bring two chairs in here so we can sit with Mattie, please?”

  “I’ll get those for you right now,” the nurse said before leaving the room.

  JT rubbed Cassandra’s back and arms, trying to calm her down. He then grabbed some tissue and wiped her wet face. The nurse brought the chairs in the room and JT said, “Sit down, baby. You’re not going to be any good to your mother if you don’t calm down so you can think straight.”

  Cassandra broke free from JT’s grasp and went back to her mother’s bed. She stood over Mattie and said, “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.”

  Mattie turned her head toward Cassandra and slightly opened her eyes. She looked disoriented as she opened her mouth and spoke.

  Cassandra turned to the nurse. “What did she say?”

  The nurse stepped forward and Mattie opened her mouth and gibberish came out again. “The stroke has affected her speech.” The nurse stood on the side of Mattie’s bed. She looked down at Mattie and asked, “Can you hear me, Ms. Daniels?”

  Mattie shook her head, but it was obvious that she’d heard the nurse.

  The nurse stepped away from Mattie’s bed and motioned Cassandra and JT to step out of the room with her. When they were both in the hall with her she said, “She appears to be a little confused right now. Once she comes around, we will be able to work with her to see if she has lost any other capabilities.”

  “What’s wrong with her speech?” Cassandra asked. She was dumbstruck at the fact that Mattie couldn’t get simple words out of her mouth, but that she sounded like more of a baby than Lily. Then she remembered that she had prayed that God would confound the tongues of all the liars in the courtroom yesterday and she wanted to call that prayer back. I didn’t want this, Lord.

  “Depending on which side of the brain the stroke affects, stroke victims can lose their grasp on language, eye sight; they can have trouble walking or using their arms. It all depends on what part of the brain shuts down.”

  “Will she be able to talk again?” JT asked with concern in his voice.

  “We will have a speech therapist work with her as soon as she’s able to begin. Most likely she will regain some speech, but probably not all of it. I’m sorry,” the nurse said as she tried to walk away.

  Cassandra stopped her. “Wait a minute. What about her face?”

  “I can’t give you any guarantees. It might straighten out, but then again it mi
ght not. We won’t know for sure for a few days.”

  “Okay,” she said and tried not to break down.

  JT pulled her into his arms again. She put her arms around him because it felt right; secure. She remembered him telling her that she belonged with him. He was finally making her believe it.

  ***

  While JT and Cassandra were going through the most traumatic event of their lives, Margie Milner was making a life changing decision as well. Her mother had come with her to the attorney’s office. Today was the day she and Diane would hear JT’s rebuttal to their lawsuit. She and her mom had been talking about this case for more than a week. Betty Milner had been trying to convince Margie to let go of her bitterness and forgive JT. But Margie could only think of one reason she would forgive JT; he’d have to ask for it.

  And then it happened. Luke Watson informed her that JT admitted that he had manipulated her into having an affair with him. “He even goes on in his deposition to apologize for everything he did to you,” Luke said.

  Betty nudged her daughter. “See, baby, the Lord knows how to settle a matter better than any attorney I’ve ever met.”

  Diane sat up in her seat and said, “This is such great news. We’ve got him right where we want him now. Did he apologize to me also?”

  “Ah, no,” Luke said as he averted his eyes from Diane and looked back at the documents in front of him.

  “What do you mean, no? He wronged me just as well as he wronged Margie. And since I’m the one that got stuck with a kid by him, I’d say he owes me two apologies.”

  Luke turned the page on the documents he was reading. He looked back at Diane and said, “Mr. Thomas’ deposition states that you approached him first. He also says that he told you several times that he wasn’t interested but you wouldn’t take no for an answer. He admits to giving in to you, but says that he never manipulated you into anything.”

  “That’s a lie,” Diane said, but she had the decency to look embarrassed.

  Luke continued. “Mr. Thomas also states that you had other lovers besides him. If that is true, I’m going to need to know more about that.”