Always Be a Wolf

by Mima

  “Yes, I spend Christmas with Diego in America but we did our own traditions those years,” She commented as she sat down at the table. “It was fine but I wanted to learn what you do here. You know, how you celebrate.”

  “Why wouldn’t you just do Colombian traditions this year?” Chase was curious and actually, would’ve welcomed learning how his two friends celebrated in their home country.

  Jolene and Diego exchanged looks across the table and smiled, before shifting their attention back to Chase.

  “We did it for you,” Jolene spoke quietly with a shy shrug. “We thought maybe, maybe this would make you happy. You know, something traditional with your family.”

  Chase wanted to reply but the words wouldn’t come out as he shared a gentle smile with Jolene. A warmth filled him and for a second, he felt emotional as he looked away and considered that these people truly were his family.

  As if sensing the strong emotions filling the room, Diego nervously jumped up from his seat and rushed into the kitchen.

  “The food, Jolene! Are you trying to burn the building down?” He quipped as he went to the stove and removed the cover from a pot while at the table, Jolene reached over and gently tapped Chase’s hand. She then rose from her seat, her heels clicked into the kitchen.

  “Diego! Get out of my food!” Jolene called out as she rushed up behind him. “It is not for you to make a comment for my cooking. I only start one fire ever and it was manageable, ok?”

  “With the fire department, it was manageable,” Diego spoke jovially, clearly enjoying the moment, he grabbed a fork to reach into something in the pot and Jolene slapped his hand.

  “No no no!! You do not try, go sit!” She spoke abruptly but there was a hint of teasing in her voice. “Go sit down! Be good for a change, Diego. You’re like a hyper child waiting for your gifts, go sit and talk to Chase. Leave me be!”

  “Now you sound like our mother,” Diego started to inch away with a mischievous look in her eyes, as Jolene turned around and glared at him.

  “You compare me to our mother one more time, I will put you in this oven and cook you!”

  “He’d probably fit,” Chase called out and took a drink of his wine.

  “Hey! Come on,” Diego returned to the table and gave Chase a warning glance, while a smirk erupted from his lips. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mean.”

  The three had an enjoyable meal and although Chase had spoken to his kids earlier that day, he made a point to check in again that night after arriving home. Full of turkey and a traditional Colombia dessert that was mouth-watering, he slumped in his bed and talked to the boys on Skype. He felt relief that they expressed excitement over the day and didn’t carry even a hint of sadness; children were so adaptable. His only wish was that day would help lift Audrey out of her depression to embrace life again. Devin and Chet needed her.

  “It’s been a long day,” She commented after the two hyper children ran off. Her face was pale and tired, her eyes slightly brighter than they had been in recent weeks. “I managed to get through and I actually enjoyed most of it. There were a few moments that I had to rush away so the kids wouldn’t see me upset but it was a little easier than I thought. My family helped a lot.”

  “That’s what family do,” Chase couldn’t help but to think of his own evening and the love and support the Silva’s had shown him. It was almost foreign to him, having never felt that with his biological family. “This wasn’t an easy year.”

  “It will get a little easier, though,” She acknowledged hesitantly. “It already has but I still have days when I don’t want to get out of bed. I will never be the same person again. I don’t know how any parent could be in this situation.”

  Chase nodded, unsure of what to say. She was right. Neither of them would be the same but he hoped that she would learn to swim the tainted waters of the small town that turned against her, even though he was sure some wished that she would sink.

  “It’ll be okay, Audrey,” He replied gently. “We have to trust it will get better.”

  She silently nodded.

  Life moved forward and the mood at the office was joyous as they planned the last-minute details for the sold-out New Year’s Eve parties. Still on a high from Christmas, the office was calm until Jolene announced another mystery meeting with Jorge Hernandez and once again, Diego lost his mind.

  “I can’t believe it!” He fumed on the way home from work a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. “I told her to stay away from him because he is not safe and now, it seems they’re spending the holiday together in Whistler! We need her here and she’ll be off with Jorge Hernandez, of all people, drinking wine and sitting in a hot tub.”

  Chase wasn’t sure what to say. He definitely understood why Diego was upset but didn’t want to get in the middle of this ongoing battle between the siblings.

  “Jolene, she never listens,” Diego shook his head as they sat in traffic. “It’s like she hears what I say, then does the opposite. She puts herself in danger.”

  “I don’t think she’s necessarily in danger right this moment,” Chase tried to counter. “I mean, I don’t know…”

  “Trust me, I know she’s putting herself in a vulnerable situation,” Diego replied, his face began to twitch and he clamped his mouth shut. Appearing frustrated, he shut down and appeared tense for the rest of the night.

  Just as Diego suggested, Jolene wasn’t at work the following morning. Beverly sat alone in their shared office, causing Diego to make a face as he passed. His anxiety only increased throughout the morning, drinking more coffee than usual, his face scrunched up in anguish and although Chase wanted to offer him words of comfort, he wasn’t sure what to say. In fact, he didn’t believe Jolene was in danger. Chances were good the affair would end shortly after the holidays, once everything got back to normal.

  Chase’s phone rang just before lunch and he felt his heart race when seeing the number. It was Audrey. Jumping up from the desk, he headed for the boardroom. Briefly glancing at Diego, he noted a dark look in his eyes as Chase answered.

  “Chase,” He immediately heard something different in his ex-wife’s voice. It carried a little more strength than it had in months, a hint of confidence and yet, an uneasiness that made him nervous as he stepped into the silent boardroom. “I can’t believe it.”

  His thoughts sprang back to an earlier fear that social services had been called, arriving during the holidays to harass the family. He felt anger crawling up his spine, his heart pounding with ferociously as he reached for the first chair he saw and sat down.

  “I can’t believe what happened,” She repeated as if in shock and Chase felt his stomach churn in anticipation. “He’s gone.”

  “Who’s gone?” Chase asked and closed his eyes and he felt a tightness in his chest.

  “Luke.”

  “He left town?” Chase asked as he felt fury fill him up. Of course! The bastard skipped town. The courts had allowed him out on bail and now Luke Prince had left the country.

  “No, I mean…he’s dead.”

  “What?” Chase snapped, stunned by such news and a burning started in his stomach and slowly crawled up his body.

  “He was shot?” Audrey replied as if asking him a question rather than supplying him with an answer. “Someone shot him. When he was out in the same woods. I don’t know why or if he was hunting but someone shot him.”

  Chase felt weak as he rose from the chair and slowly walking back to the office as she continued to speak. “I think it was another hunter that did it,” She took a deep breath and started to cry just as Chase returned to the doorway of the office. Diego immediately looked up and their eyes met as Audrey suddenly calmed down and continued. “He was shot right between the eyes and they said it had to be an experienced shooter, someone who knew exactly what they were doing.”

  Chase opened his mouth but cou
ldn’t speak.

  The world started to spin and he knew it wasn’t about to stop.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  Everything started to shift after that call. It was as if his entire world suddenly looked different; the blinders were taken off, showing a reality that hadn’t been obvious to him before that day. It wasn’t as if anything had been carefully hidden but more like a gift that was loosely wrapped, the label still displayed. Then again, there was a huge difference between knowing something and suspecting it and up until that point, Chase was only doing the latter.

  His original reaction was to go to the washroom and throw water on his face. In there, he found Benjamin washing his hands, a look of concern on his face.

  “Are you ok, Chase?”

  “Ah, yeah, I’m fine,” he managed an unconvincing smile and Benjamin appeared satisfied with this answer and walked out of the room.

  A warmth swept over his torso, swooping up from a place deep inside of him, squeezing his lungs until he could barely breathe as his heart raced frantically, pain shooting through his chest. He felt nauseous and rushed into an empty stall, immediately kneeling down before it, allowing the waves of heat to flow through him as his throat went dry and his limbs felt weak. Not allowing himself to get caught up in the attack, Chase attempted to calm, breathing slowly, he felt heat and agitation begin to extract from his body, as a chill ran up his spine and he involuntarily shook.

  After a few minutes, he felt his body slowly return to normal as he stood up, quickly wiping dust from his pants, he walked out of the stall, met with Diego’s brooding eyes. Neither of them said a thing at first, a shared silence that could be interpreted in more ways than one, it was finally Diego that spoke.

  “What’s going on?” His eyes were huge, full of curiosity and yet kind, leaving no question that he was sincerely concerned. “I thought something was wrong but then, I didn’t want to intrude but Benjamin stopped by my office and mentioned that you didn’t look well. What’s going on, amigo?”

  Chase opened his mouth but almost felt as if the news were a guarded secret and yet, shouldn’t he be happy? Shouldn’t he be relieved that the man that took his son’s life was now dead? Instead, a new set of problems had risen up, leaving him with a complication that made his life before that day seem much simpler in comparison.

  Hesitant at first, Chase began to speak slowly, as if not sure of what words to use. “He….I mean, Luke Prince, he’s dead.”

  A stunned silence filled the room, as a nearby tap dripped so loudly, it almost sent a tremor through Chase. Diego stepped back.

  “Wait, isn’t that the guy…” He muttered.

  “Yes.”

  “He’s dead?” Diego asked as his voice indicated more surprise than his eyes. Wasn’t there something that didn’t sit quite right? It was like going for a haircut and having one small fragment fall down the back of your shirt, causing a slight discomfort for the rest of the day. It was almost impossible to shake until you later took a shower before bed and yet, something told Chase that nothing was going to wash this feeling away. It was something a little more permanent lodged in his soul.

  Diego examined his eyes as if evaluating Chase’s reaction.

  Realizing he hadn’t answered Diego’s question, he slowly nodded.

  “I’m not going to lie, Chase,” Diego spoke gently. “This man, he didn’t deserve to live after what he did to your son. So I hope however it happened, it was painful for him. I hope he suffered just as he’s made you suffer.”

  “If you had told me a few weeks ago that this was going to happen,” Chase started and hesitated to clear his throat, shaking his head. “I would’ve thought it was justified, the same way as you. But now, you know what? I feel nothing. I don’t feel better. Doesn’t bring my son back. It feels….senseless..maybe even a little hopeless.”

  “Why hopeless,” Diego tilted his head as if he couldn’t understand.

  “I don’t know,” Chase answered honestly and took a deep breath. “I guess cause he will never go to jail but then again, I guess the other side of it is that he’s not going to put my family through a trial since he wanted to plead not guilty for most of the charges. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like I would’ve expected.”

  “It’s a win, Chase,” Diego muttered as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear him.

  “Maybe,” Chase quietly replied and leaned in closer to Diego. “But it doesn’t feel like a win.”

  Diego nodded in understanding.

  “We’ll talk later,” Diego replied as his eyes showed signs of compassion, he swiftly turned around and left the room.

  It was after he left that Chase realized that he never asked how Luke Prince died.

  Although Diego attempted to distract him all afternoon, Chase found his mind wandering back to his haunting conversation with Audrey. She sent a local newspaper article on the death, which merely said that the circumstances were what police referred to as ‘suspicious’ but they didn’t get into much detail. Clearly, there would be a lot of questions asked and he secretly feared that his own family would be pulled into a mess. He just wasn’t sure which family.

  News started to spread and by the end of the day, Chase received messages from his sister and aunt Maureen but didn’t feel inclined to reply. It would’ve been almost effortless to send a response to their text messages and yet, he felt no initiative. Since Leland’s death, he felt more separated from his family, as if Leland was one of the last ties to his former home and they were left severed, blowing in the wind. Although there was a part of him that knew this was the time to reconnect, an even bigger part of him felt like family was only a technicality but in reality, these people had never been there for him during the course of his life. They wandered in from time to time but weren’t a regular fixture. How was that family?

  By contrast, it was Diego and Jolene that were there for him. He knew that he could lean on them when needed and they would support him and not simply make a casual appearance when it was convenient or out of obligation. It was something reliable and although people loved the idea of independence, there was an even deeper part that he believed needed a connection; something that didn’t allow him to sway in the wind but connect with something more stable. His birth family, unfortunately, had never been stable.

  It was a concept they discussed again that night when him and Diego decided to go for dinner after work. It was an impromptu idea after leaving the office, they instead walked to a nearby restaurant that was family owned, serving mostly business class in the downtown area. Upon walking in, Diego started to wrinkle his nose, his eyes automatically shooting to the back of the room.

  “I hope we can sit away from everyone,” He spoke in a low voice as the waitress approached them. “These people are practically on top of one another.”

  “For two?” The young woman asked after greeting them.

  “Yeah, something in the back, maybe away from people,” Diego instructed with a charming smile. “We got business to discuss, you know?”

  “Of course,” She smiled and gestured them to followed her.

  She put them in a small booth at the back of the room as requested, dimly lit and with candles on the table, Diego looked satisfied with the location. Chase said nothing but merely gave an appreciative smile toward the waitress as he sat down. Passing them each a menu, she quickly let them know what the specials were before rushing away.

  A somber David Bowie song filled the room, although it was barely audible over the murmur of voices and clatter of dishes. Most of the people around them didn’t even seem to notice them at all. It was just another day. It was another day where Luke Prince just happened to die.

  Neither said a word at first, Diego studied his menu while Chase only took a brief glimpse of his own. He suddenly felt exhausted, drained and the last thing he wanted to do was eat, however, he ordered a chicken
caesar wrap and salad and listened as Diego did the same.

  “So, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours,” Diego attempted to tease but quickly saw that it wasn’t working and looked away. “Look. I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not disappointed that this man is dead. For what he did to you,” he made a face and shook his head. “He doesn’t deserve to live. No one who hurts a child does as far as I’m concerned.”

  Chase didn’t respond at first and finally shrugged.

  “It doesn’t change anything,” His reply seemed to leave Diego disappointed, deflated in response.

  “It’s still fresh,” Diego commented as the waitress brought their drinks; a glass of wine each, even though Chase had no interest in drinking. After she left, he continued, “Wait until tomorrow, you’ll see, you’ll wake up feeling like a new man. You’ll wake up feeling like a man who controls his own destiny.”

  “I’ll wake up feeling like a wolf?”

  A smirk formed on Diego’s lips. “Like I say, if you can, always be a wolf. Everyone else can be the sheep but life is too short. So don’t waste your time dwelling, over thinking, only dream big or don’t dream at all. Wake up strong cause the world, it wants you to be weak. And you cannot allow it. You simply can’t.”

  Chase contemplated his words as they swept through his brain, sinking deeper and deeper, he almost didn’t hear Diego when he continued.

  “It’s like my father always said, one of the few things he said that was right, you cannot allow the world to tell you what you can’t have and you cannot allow the world to win when it gives you a losing hand. You have a choice. There’s always another move that can be made, you just have to decide, do you want it to be strong or do you want it to be weak.”

  “Your family had different values than mine,” Chase countered and sighed.

  “And has that served you well?” Diego twisted his mouth, his dark eyes focusing on Chase. “Tell me, has that made your life as you wanted it?”