Always Be a Wolf

by Mima

  “Did I ever tell you what happened to me when I was a teenager?” Chase replied, “When I got Audrey pregnant.”

  “You were forced to marry her, to fulfill everyone else’s wishes,” Diego answered and slowly nodded. “And how did that serve you?”

  “It made me angry,” Chase answered honestly, slowly starting to see what Diego was suggesting. “I felt hopeless. Like I had no choices.”

  “Exactly,” Diego replied. “Things worked well as long as you complied with everyone else’s wishes. You weren’t your own person. And when you left, moved away?”

  “You saw how it was at the funeral,” Chase replied and took a sip of his wine; it was bitter, which was appropriate. “They were like strangers.”

  “That’s because they are strangers, they don’t know you,” Diego insisted and relaxed in his seat. “Family, it is not the people who you are born from, the people who wipe your ass when you’re a baby or go to your high school graduation, they’re the people who would do anything for you. They’re the people who would run into a burning building for you and think nothing of it. Wouldn’t give it a second thought. It’s the people who defend you no matter what and the people who would cut their heart out themselves and give it to you if needed. Do you understand?”

  His words were full of passion, strength and there was no denying, not even for a second, that the intensity behind them was stronger than anything anyone had offered Chase before that day. Chase felt his apathy start to dissolve like wax melting beneath a flame, with an equally passionate fire that would burn through anything.

  “Yes,” Chase slowly nodded. “I understand perfectly.”

  Diego seemed to ease off as their meal arrived and as if sensing the tension, the waitress politely smiled and instructed them to call her back if they needed anything.

  They ate in silence while Chase mulled over his words and as the truth sunk further and further in, he decided it was best to not ask questions. It was not until they were almost done eating that he finally spoke.

  “How is Jolene?”

  “Terrific,” Diego replied, a subtle sense of sarcasm rang in his voice. “She’s with Jorge Hernandez, probably cozying up by a fire.”

  “That’s good,” Chase gently replied as he sat his fork down. “It’s gets really cold in Hennessey this time of year.”

  Diego looked up from his food, his expression calm, if not slightly relaxed. A small grin crossed his lips but he said nothing.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  People want to believe that things work out in the end; that good prevails over evil but sometimes that isn’t the case. It only takes one tragedy to make those lines in the sand blurry. The idealism of a child disappears with adulthood. People can attempt to justify anything but it doesn’t make it right. It’s human nature at its best and it’s worst.

  Diego was right. Chase awoke the next morning with a brand new set of eyes. The room gave him an unexpected comfort that he had never felt before, like a child in a womb, he was safe, as if nothing could hurt him. There was a security that never existed, a sense that he was invincible, powerful and more alive than he had felt in years. Although in theory, it was wrong that someone’s death brought about feelings of strength, it somehow did. It removed the vulnerability that crept in after Leland died; that heavy, unsettling feeling as if he had crawled in a dark hole and could never escape.

  His eyes fixated on a window nearby, Chase felt compelled to rise from the comfort of his sheets and go toward it. Ignoring the chill in the late December air, he looked outside into a whole new world. It was a place that no longer intimidated him. The last few months had been pure hell and yet, here he was, feeling renewed in a way that he had never thought was possible. It was New Year’s Eve and he was ready to move forward and push everything behind him. It served no one to focus on the son he had lost so tragically but instead, he would honor Leland’s life by being a stronger man. It was time to refocus.

  It was clear that Jolene and Diego would expect more from him now. Not that he ever hesitated to show loyalty but without being told, Chase knew he would be pulled into their world a little further than would’ve made him comfortable at one time - at one time - but the world was no longer the same place and he was no longer the same man.

  He had a new reason to live and that reason was his family. They had shown loyalty to him and now, Chase was about to do the same for them. His life had meaning, a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

  After showering and getting ready, he found Diego in the living room, slowly moving his lime tree in front of the balcony doors. He didn’t care that it hadn’t produced any limes yet, he remained insistent that it soon would give him a ‘great bounty’. Patience was the key.

  Barely looking up from his tree as Chase said good morning and headed toward the kitchen, Diego finally seemed satisfied and followed him. Chase was pouring a cup of coffee when he looked up to see Diego silently looking into his eyes, as if inspecting him in the same way he had his overgrown plant.

  “So?”

  “So?” Chase put the pot back and sat down his cup.

  “How are you today?” Diego tilted his head and leaned back against the counter, almost as if he were checking his face a little more carefully from a different angle. “You look different.”

  “I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Chase grinned. “But you were right, I feel very differently about everything today. The world is not the same.”

  “Like you’re in control and not being controlled?” Diego asked as he reached for his own cup that sat on the island. He walked to the coffee pot and topped up his mug. “Like you’re the wolf and not the sheep? Was I right?”

  “You were right,” Chase quietly replied and took a drink as Diego turned back to face him. “I’m not sure if it’s right to feel this way, but I do.”

  “Hey,” Diego said as he tapped his fingers on the counter. “What he did to your son, that was not right. As much as the Bible talks about turning the other cheek and all that shit, I believe in something different. I believe that every crime has a punishment and that every wrong also has a right. We all owe others for our debts and if you leave it up to the judges, no debt is ever paid. They throw those they see as less desirable away and let idiots away with their crimes. It’s the way it is, Chase. I use to date a cop. He told me that they arrest, work hard to give the criminals no wiggle room and then the judge tosses it aside and does what they want anyway. We don’t want to believe this is true, but it is.”

  Chase couldn’t argue. It was on the news all the time. Criminals were all but walking away from their crimes. Women were raped. Men were tortured. Children were killed. Judges let them go and often blamed the victim. The woman should’ve kept her legs together. The man provoked the situation. The child should’ve been watched more carefully.

  Not people who looked like him though. Natives filled the jails. He was a teenager when first discovering that fact in a documentary television program, leaving him with mixed feelings that were hard to understand. It made him fearful of becoming one of those statistics and made him wary of ever pushing back when pushed.

  “I’m not saying that this would’ve been the case with this Luke guy but I’m not saying it wouldn’t have been either,” Diego continued and raised his eyebrow before turning to unplug the coffee maker. Taking another drink, he swung around and completely changed gears. “Just a short day at the office, I promise. I think most people have the day off, as per Jolene of course, not me. I would’ve made them come in for a half day but hey, I can’t be the bad guy all the time, you know?”

  “If given the option, most won’t show up,” Chase replied as the other comments Diego made were simmering in his head. “Probably just us.”

  “Nah, Benjamin will come in,” Diego predicted and took a long gulp of his coffee. “The Italian, she’ll be in and…..Gracie and Deb are p
arty girls, so they won’t, I know that already and Beverly will pop in and get stuck at reception since Deborah is probably home planning a gang bang or something.”

  “She’s not that bad,” Chase laughed in spite of himself. “At least, I don’t think so.”

  “Really?” Diego asked and finished his cup of coffee. “I don’t know about that.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Chase replied. “I don’t want to have anything to do with her.”

  “Ah, see, it’s happening already,” Diego’s voice rose as he pointed a finger toward Chase before wandering back to the sink and rinsing his cup. “You aren’t being her sheep anymore cause you never wanted her to begin with.”

  Chase didn’t reply but finished his coffee.

  At the office, it was exactly as Diego predicted. Beverly was on the phone at Deborah’s desk, looking slightly annoyed. As they walked down the hallways, they met Benjamin leaving the kitchen, biting into a donut, he pointed back into the room to indicate there was a box on the counter. Diego thanked him and slid into the kitchen, Chase was behind him.

  “Ah, no coffee, I guess that’s what happens when Jolene isn’t here,” Diego reached for the pot and began to prepare it while Chase hesitantly grabbed a chocolate donut and bit into it. “Everything goes to hell.”

  “Having to make a pot of coffee is hardly hell,” Chase said between bites as he leaned against the counter and watched Diego measuring out the water and finally, his special brand of coffee. “Besides, if anyone else made the coffee, you wouldn’t be happy with it anyway.”

  “Hey, this is the second pot of the day,” Diego joked. “That’s two, Chase, what am I, the fucking servant?”

  Chase laughed and finished his donut just as Sylvana entered the room, with a paper bag in hand, she crossed the room and placed it in the fridge.

  “See! I told you!” Diego gestured in her direction. “I was right about the people who would be here today.”

  “Of course I am here,” Sylvana spoke abruptly but her face revealed a glimmer of humor. “Some of us have work to do.”

  “I’m working,” Diego insisted as he turned on the coffee pot. “This place wouldn’t run at all without my fabulous coffee.”

  Sylvana merely grinned before walking out of the room.

  “Cold as ice, that one,” Diego gestured in her direction as he opened the box of donuts and grabbed the most decorated of them all, covered with icing and candy. “She should have one of these, apparently she needs some sweetness in her life.”

  The morning went quickly and before long they were all heading out, satisfied that everything was in order for that night’s parties, however Diego would have to keep his phone close at hand in case of any emergencies or issues. They had four private parties and two major events: one in Toronto and another in Vancouver. They had hired some temporary staff during the holidays but the two planners, Cleo and Raymond, would oversee all the parties. Things generally went smoothly but there were sometimes questions or confirmations to make.

  For that reason, Diego settled on a quiet evening in. He, however, hadn’t thought about it one way or another. Holidays had always been irrelevant to him. They had no meaning and that particular year certainly gave him little reason to celebrate.

  Audrey called him later that evening. Chase immediately recognized something different in her voice. She was calm, tranquil, in a way he hadn’t expected.

  “Sorry, Chase, I totally forgot to get the boys on Skype earlier to say Happy New Year,” She started the conversation off awkwardly, as if realizing what she had done. “I was rushing around all day and the media keeps calling me, its crazy. My mom thought it might be better if she take the kids for the next few days to get them away from this insanity and I was so rushed to get them ready, I never even thought.”

  “It’s fine,” he assured her and sat on his bed. “I totally understand. How bad is the media?”

  “They’re around,” She muttered and he could hear a cupboard door closing as he envisioned the kitchen in his former home. “I don’t have a comment and I won’t have a comment. At least, nothing that is politically correct to say.”

  “Yeah, I hear you there,” Chase replied.

  “I obviously can’t tell them that I hope he rots in hell,” Audrey continued and Chase smiled to himself as he heard the woman he once knew slowly return. “I don’t care who did it and I don’t care why. That’s how I feel. I don’t care about his family because they certainly slung mud at us when we were down. I don’t care if he suffered.”

  “Probably things you shouldn’t tell the media,” Chase admitted and secretly shared her feelings. “Any more news on it?”

  “Just what I told you before,” Audrey sounded more confident as she spoke. “He was shot by someone who knew what they were doing. It was from a distance and they still got him right between the eyes. Shot him down like the animal. Ironically, I don’t think it’s hunting season either, so why was he out there, wandering through the woods? Of course, no one is talking about that.”

  Chase didn’t reply.

  “I think it was a local hunter. A lot of them were pretty mad when this happened especially when Luke got cocky about everything.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, that’s what one of them told Albert last week but the funny thing is that the police haven’t arrested anyone,” She commented calmly. “The police are still there investigating the scene but nothing seems to be coming up, from what I’m told.”

  Chase didn’t reply.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Reporters had a difficult time finding Chase but a few days later, they did. When asked for a comment, he held back all emotions and merely said that it had been a very sad year for his family, one he wouldn’t wish on anyone and that he hoped that everyone could move forward. He avoided addressing Luke Prince’s death directly, knowing that the reporter was attempting to get a reaction out of him and when unsuccessful, she muttered something about ‘not getting a good quote’ before rudely hanging up on him.

  “Fucking bitch,” Diego muttered when Chase repeated the story to him the following morning on their way to work. “You know, I respect the media but I kind of hate the media too. They are soulless. They create unnecessary drama that gets everyone upset and angry. You know, it’s almost like they don’t feel they are successful if they don’t have people raging at the television or crying at the end of one of their stories.”

  “It’s because if people aren’t emotionally involved, they don’t care and if they don’t care, they don’t keep watching,” Chase commented as he glanced out the passenger side window. “And if we keep watching, they keep their ratings and if they keep their ratings, they keep their jobs.”

  “Nah, we would watch even if they didn’t pull that shit,” Diego made a face and gave a loud sigh as they stopped at a light. “I respect the real reporters, the ones who get into a dicey situation and show us first hand what is going on but the reporter that called you the other day, she was being a cunt. Did she even say she was sorry for your loss? Show any compassion? Of course not! She wanted you angry and make some off the cuff remark so that she would have this insane quote and get the lead story or whatever the fuck they call it.”

  Chase couldn’t deny that the reporter showed no compassion and was on a mission more than anything else. Perhaps in her place, he would be an asshole too. It didn’t really matter and he hadn’t brought all this up just to have a car ride rant with Diego but, then again, there they were, doing just that. The idea made him grin, something that Diego caught.

  “What’s that big smile for?” Diego bellowed out jokingly, a touch of accent crept in.

  “You, when you get on a rant, it’s funny to me,” Chase replied as the car started to move again, as they eased closer to work. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, she didn’t get a good quote from me and she won’t. I don’t
want any attention.”

  “See, you’re a good student,” Diego said with a self-satisfied smile. “Always keep under the radar. Stand out from the crowd but only in your presence never your words. Words, they come back to haunt you so if you say nothing, they got nothing.”

  They arrived at work slightly early compared to most days, not to mention the first day back after New Year’s, which was fine by Chase. He knew it would be Jolene’s first day back and he was anxiously awaiting her return. There was so much to say and yet, he felt as though he couldn’t say a thing. As Diego said in the car, words can come back to haunt you, so say nothing.

  As it turns out, it wasn’t necessary. Beverly, who was once again answering phones that morning since Deborah wasn’t yet at work, immediately told Chase that Jolene would like to speak to him alone. Diego’s face automatically softened as he patted Chase on the arm and headed toward the staff room while Beverly returned her attention to the phone.

  Although he certainly had no reason to feel nervous, Chase felt a familiar anxiety in his stomach as he headed toward Jolene’s office and walked inside. She immediately looked up from her laptop, her face fell into a relaxed smile as she instructed him to close the door behind him. Without replying he did so and when he turned around, she was rising from her desk, wearing a fitted blue dress and long, smooth black boots, her heels clicked on the floor as she rushed toward him and pulled him into a warm embrace.

  “Happy New Year, Chase,” Her words were gentle like a mother to her baby, her embrace warm, loving while a gentle scent filled his lungs. He felt his original nervousness ease as he hugged her back. She let go and stepped back, her smile carried a hint of tears as she patted his shoulder and turned away. “It is over now.”

  “Happy New Year to you too,” He finally found his voice after the intense moment eased, allowing him to speak again. A warm glow filled his body and he felt temporarily frozen to the spot. Unspoken words filled the air around them but he couldn’t have said any of them, even if he had tried. His legs felt weak as Chase found a chair and sat down on the other side of her desk, while she was once again seated.