Love, Me: A Pleasant Valley Novel

by Anna Brooks

  “No problem. I’m glad you like it.” I cover it with plastic and tape and go over the care instructions before she pays me.

  “Thank you so much. I really do love it.”

  I nod toward the hallway. “I’ll walk you out.”

  Just as we step out of the room, my phone rings. I pull it out and look to see Petey’s name and hesitate to answer it. I don’t know what the fuck he could want.

  “I’ll just walk myself out. It’s okay.” My client interrupts my internal battle.

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah. Thanks again.”

  I turn around and answer Petey’s call. “What.” He’s not on my list of people I want to talk to. Not just because he had the nerve to come to my place and try to push my mom’s debt onto me, but because he used his crony to put a knife to Rayne’s throat. My sweet, innocent, girl. My shit should never touch her.

  “You might want to take a drive, homie.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Stopped by your mom’s. Was gonna let her know she had thirteen more days. Never got to extend my favor, since she was passed out on the couch. OD’d, man.”

  I sag against the wall. My palms sweat, and my stomach turns.

  “Vaughn.”

  “Don’t care.” I hang up and drop my phone on the ground.

  “You all right?” Dirt is my next appointment; we’re doing a touch up on his piece, and he obviously took it upon himself to come back here.

  My throat feels like cotton balls are shoved down in it, but somehow, I manage to answer. “Yeah.”

  I bend down to grab my phone, but my legs are too wobbly, and I fall forward. “Whoa.” Dirt reaches for me and helps me slide to the floor. “What’s up, man?” He slaps the side of my face to get my attention.

  “She’s dead.”

  “Who?”

  “Petey called.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Said he went to pay her a visit and found her OD’d.” As I tell him, I begin to regain my bearings. Lenny and I were always friends. Petey went off the beaten path, but Lenny and I always confided in each other and knew we could trust the other. I’m thankful he’s the one here right now.

  “You wanna head out?”

  “No.” I shake my head and stand. “I’m good. Just wasn’t prepared. Let’s get you touched up.” Without giving him a chance to reply, I walk away and start prepping my station. I need this distraction. I need to escape to a different place. It takes less time than I would have liked, but I close shop after I finish up with Lenny.

  Unfortunately, reality has to come back sometimes, and as I stand on the sidewalk in front of the house I grew up in, that’s when it hits me. But I don’t feel remorse or sadness. I actually smile. When Rayne said she felt relief after Bryan’s funeral, I told her it was okay. I’m taking my own advice right now.

  The last thing I need to say to my mom is a note in my wallet. I wrote it the day I decided she was dead to me and held on to it because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it. I knew if I sent it to her, she wouldn’t read it, so I carried it around, and every time I pulled out my wallet, I saw it as a reminder. I pull out the piece of paper and read the words out loud.

  Rot in hell, bitch.

  Love,

  Me.

  Chapter 25

  Rayne

  Shopping with Kennedy all day was just what I needed. I had to bite my tongue a gazillion times, though. I hate feeling like I’m lying to him, but Vaughn’s right. It’s not my place to tell him and especially not a week before they get married. Kennedy absolutely adores Brad, and I know deep in my gut that nothing would change if he did know.

  We’re eating a late dinner right now, and I keep checking my phone expecting a call or text from Vaughn to let me know he’s through with his appointments. I’ve sent him a couple and even called with no response.

  “Chill out; he’ll call when he’s done.” Kenny tosses a piece of bread at me.

  “I know, but he usually texts me throughout the day.”

  “He’s probably busy.”

  “Maybe, but something just feels off.” My intuition’s been tapping on my head all day, but it’s now a heavy knock. “I need to go.”

  “Okay. I’ll drive you.” He pays for our bill at the register, and we rush to his car.

  Each minute that passes causes me to worry more and more. Kennedy walks with me up to the door, and I don’t even knock. I use the key Vaughn gave me and walk in then I turn and wave off Kenny. “He’s sleeping.”

  “Okay,” he whispers. “Call me tomorrow.”

  I lock the door behind him and set my purse on the ground. When I approach Vaughn, I sit on the couch where there’s a little room and run my fingers through his hair. Faint lines of stress mar his handsome face.

  His eyes flutter open, and when they lock on mine, I know something is different. “Hey, baby.”

  “Hi. I was worried about you.”

  “Sorry. I fell asleep.”

  “I see that.” I hold one hand to his cheek and rub my thumb against his prickly skin. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong; everything is perfect.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” He turns his head to kiss my hand. “What time is it?”

  “Nine.”

  “Hmm.” He groans in that sleepy, sexy way usually reserved for the morning. “I’m kind of beat, darlin’.”

  “Are you sure you’re not sick or something? You never go to bed this early.”

  “I’m not sick.” His lids become heavy as he talks.

  “Go to sleep, then.”

  He reaches out and pulls me down next to him. I kick my shoes off and cuddle into him, not realizing how tired I am until I rest my eyes. Normally, he runs his fingers through my hair or up and down my arm, so when he just holds me, I really know something is wrong.

  The situation with his mom has to be difficult for him. I can’t imagine. My parents have always been supportive and loving. If they weren’t, I don’t know how I would have survived. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but I never felt like I wasn’t wanted or that they didn’t love me.

  He falls asleep before me, and I watch the numbers on the cable box change every sixty seconds. I’m tired, but my brain won’t shut off because I’m worried about him. When the clock finally reads 10:42, I drift off.

  * * *

  My heart jumps in my chest as I begin falling, but Vaughn assures me I’m okay, and his arms flex around me. “I’ve got ya.”

  Through the dimly lit hallway, I can still see the stress marks still on his face.

  I want to push, I want to pry . . . I want him to need me. He’s been there for me, and if it weren’t for him, I don’t know how I would have survived the past couple of months. But he was patient with me, so I’m going to show him the same respect.

  He sets me down on his bed and reaches for the hem of my shirt. I lift my hands up, and he pulls it off and tosses it on the floor then does the same to his tee. Before he crawls in next to me, he takes off his jeans. I undo my button and zipper while he tugs my jeans off as well.

  When he crawls over me to get to his side, he pauses to kiss me. “Love you, Rayne.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He crawls under the covers, and I do the same then curl up against him. The steady beat of his heart begins to pull me under when the rumble of his chest shocks me wide-awake.

  “My mom is dead.”

  I’m so stunned I can’t even speak, but he doesn’t seem to notice the absence of my response.

  “Petey called me while I was at the shop. He found her OD’d and . . . and I told him I didn’t care. For the next few hours, I just tried to block it out, but it kept picking at me. Like tapping at my fucking brain. I stopped by after I got off and said a few words to her, I mean to the house. I don’t know if she was even in there, rotting away, or if Petey called an ambulance or what the hell he did. And ya know what I kept t
hinking about?”

  He waits for a response, and I’m finally able to form a word. “What?”

  “How shitty it was of me that I didn’t care. I came back here and stared at the ceiling and thought that I was the worst person for walking away and not even looking to see if her body was still there. So I caved. I called nine-one-one, and then I shut my phone off and lay on the couch. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I closed my eyes. I was really tired, baby.”

  The sad thing is I can relate to how he feels. I was exhausted when everything was happening with Bryan. Mental and emotional exhaustion is more draining than any kind of physical fatigue I’ve felt in my life. “I’m sure you were.”

  “I need you to tell me it’s okay. Tell me it’s okay for me to feel comforted in the fact that I don’t have to . . . deal with her anymore. I don’t have to get my hopes up that she might change her mind and give a shit. I no longer have to worry about feeling like a failure, and the relief from that has finally given me a chance to breathe. I didn’t realize how hard it was to breathe.”

  My heart breaks for the man who has proven time and again that he’s the most deserving person of someone’s love. “It’s okay. It’s okay to feel that, Vaughn. She doesn’t deserve you. Your time, your thoughts, and certainly not your guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Nothing to feel remorse about and most definitely, nothing to feel bad about that you’re relieved she’s dead.”

  I sit up and cross my legs so I can see him with the moonlight shining through his bedroom window. “You can choose your friends. The people who you surround yourself with, those who you let in, they are your family. But you can’t choose who you’re related to. She’s not your family, sweetheart. Brad and Kennedy are your family. My family loves you . . . they’re your family. I’m your family. And more importantly, I want a family with you.”

  He squeezes his eyes shut and nods his head. The normal steady rise and fall of his chest are uneven, and as a result, it makes mine erratic. I’ve never seen him like this, and frankly, I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure how to comfort someone who just found out their mother—who used, abused, and neglected them—is dead. Going on what I would want, I lie back down and put my arm over his stomach and pull myself as close as I can. I rest my head on his chest and without words, I let him know I’m here.

  Sometimes, talking just makes things worse, so I’m going to wait it out. His heartbeat under my ear is still so strong but almost sounds different, somehow. My eyes well with tears, but I fight to push them away because this isn’t about me.

  He finally wraps an arm around me and kisses the top of my head. As the minutes slide by, exhaustion must take over his body because he goes slack and falls asleep. I try to go into dreamland with him, but my brain won’t shut off.

  When I told him I wanted a family with him, I was hoping for a better response. I wanted him to tell me that he wants that too, that he can’t wait to start a real future with me. A future with a house and a family and an ugly mini-van.

  I get that it’s not on the top list of his priorities right now, but I hope that in nine months, it will be.

  * * *

  I’m supposed to be paying attention to the ceremony, but I can’t help staring at my man. At the most wonderful gift ever given to me. The past week has been rough. He’s been closed off, much like he was when I first met him. I’ve given him space, and he’s taken it.

  He took care of arrangements for his mother’s cremation but insisted he wanted to do it himself . . . said he didn’t want to taint me by being in her vicinity, dead or alive. I wanted to try to fight him on it and force myself to be there for him, but Vaughn isn’t the kind of man who will take too kindly to being ignored. So as much as it killed me, I’ve just been waiting for him to come around.

  And last night he did. After everything was done with his mom, he completely returned to the man I know he truly is. I couldn’t be happier, but I have to decide if it’s too soon to give him the news that he’s going to be a father.

  We’re now at Brad and Kennedy’s wedding watching each other instead of paying attention to the ceremony. He smirks at me, and I smile back. It only takes a moment, but his playful gaze vanishes.

  “What?” I mouth.

  He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head. I watch his eyes watch me; they move over my face like a ping-pong ball and roll down my body before they slide back up. An elbow nudging me makes me curse.

  “Need the ring, Rainey girl,” Kenny whispers to me with laughter in his voice.

  I untie the bow from my flowers and catch the platinum band in my hand then pass it over to him. Since I got caught not paying attention, I avoid looking at Vaughn again. Kenny says his vows, and Brad reaches his hand out for Vaughn to pass him Kenny’s ring.

  Brad takes it, but then jerks to a stop. “This isn’t mine.”

  Vaughn’s face pales, and my heart races. I can feel my eyes widening over the confusion and risk a glance over at Kenny, only to find him with a grin on his lips.

  “I gave you the wrong one?” Vaughn pats at his pockets frantically and finally reaches into the breast pocket of his suit. “Here, sorry.”

  Vaughn hands Brad the correct ring, but Brad still holds onto the other one. “What is this one?”

  I can’t see it and attempt to peer around Brad’s massive shoulders to get a view.

  “It’s the engagement ring I bought for Rayne.”

  The gasps from the small and intimate crowd drown out my own.

  “You thought it’d be a good idea to what, propose to your girlfriend on Kennedy’s and my wedding day?”

  “Yeah, I did. Is that okay with you?”

  “What the hell?” I mumble to myself as my knees begin to wobble.

  “It’s fine with me. Kennedy, you okay with it?”

  He lets out a clearly exasperated sigh. “I suppose.”

  “What about you, Mr. Garner,” Brad asks. “Are you okay with Vaughn proposing to your daughter right now?”

  My head whips so fast my neck cracks, and my dad smiles at me. “Yes. I am.”

  “What is going on?”

  “I’m about to ask you to marry me, darlin’.”

  I swallow the cotton in my throat and direct my attention to Vaughn, who is currently walking toward me.

  “You’re what?”

  He stops about a foot in front of me and takes the bouquet out of my hand. He passes it to Kenny before clasping my hands in his. I’m not sure when I last blinked, so I rapidly flutter my lashes.

  “I tried to prepare this big speech and write this amazing proposal, but any words I read on paper didn’t do what I feel for you any justice. I can tell you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy, and although I don’t deserve you, I’ll selfishly take whatever you’re willing to offer me and fiercely cherish it and protect it for as long as I have breath left in me.” He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again and finding mine. “I could tell you nobody else on this earth can love you like I do and nobody is good enough for you, which your father reminded me of.”

  I giggle and glance over at my parents who have their heads resting on each other’s. My dad gives me a thumbs-up and winks at me.

  “But I’m going to try. If you’ll have me.”

  When I return my vision to Vaughn, it’s behind blurry eyes when I notice him on one knee before me.

  I gasp and cover my mouth as he holds out a beautiful and simple, yet stunning, gorgeous silver band with a very large diamond in the center.

  “Rayne. I love you. So much. And because no words I say will be good enough, I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me.” He closes his eyes and presses his lips together before blowing out a breath. “Will you marry me?”

  I can’t form a thought, or a sentence, let alone a damn word. So I nod and stop holding in the tears. He slides the ring on my finger and stands up,
pulling me to him. Everyone around us claps and Kennedy whistles; I’d recognize the high-pitched noise anywhere.

  “So will you?” Vaughn asks me again.

  “Yes.” I pull back so I can see his handsome face. “Of course, I will. I can’t believe you did this during their ceremony.”

  “It was their idea, Rayne.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to my, fusing my mouth to his. He kisses me back, and when my dad hollers for Vaughn to get his paws off me, everyone laughs, and I reluctantly pull back.

  “Love you, baby.”

  “I love you more.”

  “Not possible.” He kisses my nose, and we both step back into our places then Kenny hands me my flowers. “We’re having a talk later,” I whisper-shout to him. I have no clue how he kept this a secret.

  For the rest of the ceremony, all I can think about is the man who just pulled off the sweetest marriage proposal in the history of marriage proposals. Little does he know, I have a little surprise of my own for him, and I can’t wait to turn the tables and one-up him.

  The rest of the ceremony goes off without a hitch. It makes me so unbelievably happy to see my best friend so happy. Since everything with the wedding is happening in the same place, we all congregate to our assigned table.

  Vaughn and I were the only ones in the wedding party, and since it’s not really a formal wedding, we sit next to each other instead of on either side of the newlyweds. Before dinner is served, I’m swarmed with people congratulating Vaughn and me. I feel guilty taking the attention away from Brad and Kenny, but they’re too lost in their own world to notice anyone but each other.

  After we eat, Kenny comes over to me. “Come talk to me.”

  My brows draw together, but I nod and take another sip of my water then kiss Vaughn before I take Kenny’s hand and follow him outside. It’s pretty chilly, and I rub my hands up and down my arms when the wind hits them.

  “Shit, sorry.” Kenny takes off his suit coat and drapes it over my shoulders.

  “What’s up, married man?” I smile.