There was still no sign of Princess Princess. She must have another plan, thought Boo. That was it! Any second now, Princess Princess was going to Zoom! in and do something really heroic …
But till Princess Princess arrived it was up to him.
But how? There was no way he could Wham! Bam! Pow! in his werewolf shape. He’d never learnt how to Wham! with hands and feet, much less Wham! with paws. Princess Princess would say he was worse than useless like this. And she’d be right.
Or would she?
What could he do in werewolf shape? Werewolf fangs were no match for giant bunny feet. And widdling wasn’t going to stop a mob of Rabbits either.
So what was left? What could a werewolf do to save the day?
And then he had it …
He could run! He could tire out the Rabbits, so it would be easier for Princess Princess and the others to defeat them. How long can a Giant Rabbit run for? he wondered. It didn’t matter. No matter how long it took, he’d keep on running. He could run forever to save his friends. For Mug and Yesterday, he thought. For the little girl Darlene and all her woolly people …
Boo sat back on his haunches and let his furry face stretch in a werewolf grin. ‘Hey, bunnies!’ he barked. ‘Yap! Yap! Yap! Can’t catch me! Can’t catch me!’ The largest Rabbit stared at him, as though it couldn’t believe its eyes.
Suddenly the ground vibrated with the pounding of Giant Rabbit feet. Boo scampered forward a few steps, lifted his leg at the fallen leader Rabbit, and let out a small insulting drop … ‘Pong Fu!’ he barked. ‘Take that, you furry fiends.’ And then he ran.
Down the golden hill, away from the tents, away from the little lamb with her toy, away from his friends …
He glanced back. Were the Rabbits still following? Yes! A whole mob of Giant Rabbits thundered down the hill after him.
‘Woof, you stupid Rabbits!’ he called, and heard his challenge echo across the grassy hills. ‘Woof! Woof! Woof!’
Where was Princess Princess? How long, thought Boo again, as he forced his legs to run even faster, will it take to tire out a pack of Giant Rabbits?
Up the next hill, down and up again … long grass brushed against his fur and whiskers, then doubling back and round again … he couldn’t run too far from the others, Boo realised, or Princess Princess mightn’t be able to carry out her plan.
Whatever it was.
Up another hill, around and down … Boo glanced behind again. Were the bunnies tiring? The gap between him and the nearest Rabbit was widening. They were getting tired!
Boo grinned, his tail wagging. He could run like this forever!
‘Woof!’ he yelled happily. Why had he ever tried to be a human? Four paws were so much more fun!
He could hear the bunnies panting. Ha! Even Giant Rabbits were no match for a werewolf’s legs! This was great!
He could smell the Rabbits now, too. Smell what they were thinking. Tired … tired … aching paws … tired … the world was much more vivid with a werewolf nose.
‘Boo! Over here!’ Boo pricked up his ears. Someone was calling him. Yesterday! Princess Princess must be ready to put her plan into action.
‘Woof!’ he yelled at the Rabbits again. He changed direction and bounded back through the grass. There was Yesterday, standing back-to-back with Mug. But where was Princess Princess?
Boo skidded to a stop next to them. Behind him he could hear the panting bunnies. ‘Careful!’ he yelped. ‘They’re getting tired but they’ve got enough strength to attack. Where’s Princess Princess?’
‘No Princess. No worries, either,’ said Mug. ‘Yesterday use her secret weapon now.’
‘But she hasn’t got a …’ began Boo. And then he stopped.
Yesterday was yelling to the Rabbits as they thundered across the hill.
‘Grnt sff tch!’ called Yesterday.
Boo glanced at Mug. ‘Has she gone bonkers?’ he whispered. ‘I could have kept the Rabbits away for ages.’
Mug shook his head. ‘That her secret weapon.’
‘What secret weapon? Yesterday can’t talk to Rabbits!’
Mug shrugged. ‘Maybe we not know because it secret.’
‘Cat guts! The Rabbits are going to be on us in another ten seconds! She’s going to get herself killed!’ He edged closer to her. Yesterday must be mad with fear, Boo decided and gave her bum an unobtrusive sniff. She didn’t smell bonkers, he decided. She smelt … right.
‘Sccft sppts?’ cried Yesterday.
‘She’s talking nonsense …’ growled Boo, then stopped. Because the Rabbits stopped pounding across the hillside too.
One by one they paused, their ferocious whiskery faces twitching in surprise, then sat down on their tails.
‘Fsksp!’ insisted Yesterday. ‘Fcsppt spk? Sffgnt!’
‘Spzx,’ said one of the Rabbits in amazement. ‘Lkxxzt zttz!’
‘They understand her!’ whispered Boo, stunned. ‘What’s she saying?’
Mug shrugged, sending a small cloud of flies buzzing. ‘Dunno. Me not speak Rabbit.’
‘Where’s Princess Princess?’
Mug brightened. ‘Oh, me know that. She went back to bus. Not feeling well.’
‘By herself?! What if something had happened to her?! The Rabbits didn’t get her?’ barked Boo.
Mug shook his head, then felt it to make sure he hadn’t shaken it loose. ‘She okay. Yesterday checked,’ Mug reassured him. ‘Hey, what those bunnies do now?’
The first bunny had bent its nose down to the long golden grass. ‘Vzzt?’ it said uncertainly.
‘Grzxpt,’ insisted Yesterday. She bent down and pulled up a handful of grass and held it up temptingly. ‘Mmm,’ she said.
As Boo watched, the Rabbit took a reluctant mouthful of long gold grass. It chewed a moment, its giant nose wrinkled. And then it chewed some more.
The bunny looked thoughtful. ‘Mmm!’ it cried. ‘Grnt slrrpt! Mmm!’
The second Rabbit took a mouthful, and then the others. Soon the whole mob was enthusiastically chewing the grass.
‘Grnt slrrpt chppt!’ said Yesterday.
‘Fttt gp nggg!’ agreed one of the Rabbits. ‘Mmm!’
‘Fttpp bfftd ztt!’ cried the others. ‘Fttpp mm bfftd ztt! Fttpp mm bfftd mm ztt! Fttpp bfftd ztt!’
Yesterday grinned. ‘Hjkzx,’ she agreed. Her whole face changed, thought Boo, when she grinned.
The first Rabbit blew her a kiss. It took a final mouthful of grass, then began to hop away, the other Rabbits following. Within a few seconds they had vanished over the hill.
‘Wha—what was that all about?’ barked Boo, sitting back on his haunches in amazement.
Yesterday grinned. ‘That’s my secret weapon,’ she said. ‘Mug has his zombie sausage. I can Find animals and talk to them!’
‘What did you say?’
‘I convinced them that salads are much healthier than all that meat — especially really stressed-out and frightened meat,’ said Yesterday. ‘Did they really want to be big fat bunnies, too out of breath to even catch a puppy dog? So they agreed to try eating grass instead. And they loved it! They’re going to stay here and eat grass. There’s enough here for the sheep people and the Rabbits. They never want to go back to the Ghastly Otherwhen again. They’re not bogeys anymore! The Greedle has lost them!’
‘You’re brilliant!’ cried Boo, wagging his tail happily. ‘And you too,’ he said to Mug. ‘You’ve both got the most fantastic secret weapons in the universes. I wish I had a secret weapon. I’m not really a Hero,’ he admitted. ‘That thing with the Greedle, it was just luck. I don’t have any Hero skills or secret weapons at all.’
‘Yes, you do, you dingbat dingo,’ said Yesterday.
‘No worries,’ agreed Mug.
‘Then what are they?’ demanded Boo, staring at his friends.
Yesterday laughed. ‘You have Hero werewolf powers, of course! Who else but a werewolf Hero could outrun a pack of Giant Rabbits?’
‘Or widdle in the G
reedle’s ice cream,’ agreed Mug. ‘Kung Poo!’
Boo shook his head. ‘They weren’t Hero powers. Lots of werewolves can run as fast as me.’
‘Huh. Maybe,’ said Yesterday, ‘but you’re the only one who can run when faced with savage Rabbits or was able to widdle all gummed up with Zurm jam. I was too terrified to do anything back there — and the Rabbits were too intent on eating us to listen to anything I said. You gave me time to work out what to say, and you exhausted the Rabbits so they were quiet enough to listen to me. And I know something else too.’
‘What?’ asked Boo.
‘I know you’re much happier as a werewolf than as a human.’
Boo blinked. Maybe she was right. There was no way he could have helped his friends get rid of the Rabbits in human form.
‘But … but I look too cute to be a Hero!’ he blurted out.
‘What’s wrong with looking cute? It doesn’t make you any less a Hero.’
Boo shook his head. It was so good to let his tongue hang out again. ‘Maybe … maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong. Maybe I should have stayed a werewolf, and not tried to be a human Hero at all. But Princess Princess said —’
He stopped suddenly. Princess Princess! How could he have forgotten Princess Princess! Was she all right? I have to Change, thought Boo. I can’t let her see me like this.
‘Turn your back!’ he hissed to Yesterday.
‘But, Boo …’
‘Now!’
Boo concentrated.
PLUNG!
The ground retreated and the wind suddenly seemed cold on the naked bits that Princess Princess objected to. Boo ran over and picked up his pants then slipped his shirt on.
‘Boo,’ said Yesterday warningly.
Boo struggled with his zipper. ‘We’ve got to see if Princess’s okay!’
‘Boo!’ said Yesterday again.
‘Mug said Princess wasn’t feeling … what?’ he asked.
‘Look behind you,’ whispered Yesterday.
Boo turned … just as the Giant Rabbit that had eaten Mug’s sausage opened two very angry eyes.
‘Zombie sausage only stunned it,’ said Mug unnecessarily.
‘Could you sort of stun it again?’ asked Boo nervously.
‘Sure.’
‘You can?’
‘Sure. When I gets another sausage.’
The Rabbit was getting to its feet now, its giant lethal feet …
‘Jxtd fggb jnt!’ said Yesterday quickly, pointing to the lush gold grass. ‘Mmm Mmm!’
The Rabbit snarled. ‘Ktx! Zplzq ftsphk jksspt!’
Yesterday gulped. ‘It’s got a tummy ache. The zombie sausage disagreed with it. It says it doesn’t want to eat any ftsphk grass.’
‘Um, what does it want?’ asked Boo.
‘Jxsnt?’ asked Yesterday quickly.
‘Lkt! Pklsppt svvsptt ktpppssst!’ growled the Rabbit.
‘It wants three Hero skulls to drink from and four Hero brains to …’ Yesterday frowned. ‘I’m not sure about that last bit. I think “ktpppssst” means “drink them like a milkshake” but it might mean “put them in my lunch box and”—’
‘Never mind the translation!’ yelped Boo, tearing off his pants so he could Change into werewolf form again. ‘Tell it that it’s a big furry wuss that can’t catch a werewolf!’ he added as he began to undo the buttons on his shirt. ‘Tell it that you bet it can’t catch me before …’
‘Squeak!’
It was the mouse. Boo had quite forgotten that it had hidden in his pocket. ‘Woof!’ yelped Boo. ‘Get back down in my pocket, you silly …’
‘Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!’
Boo watched, horrified, as the tiny creature raced down his arm, down his bare leg and over to the Rabbit. ‘Squeak!’ yelled the mouse again, peering up at the giant bunny.
‘What’s that?!’ cried Yesterday.
‘It’s my mouse!’
‘You have a pet mouse?’
‘No! Well, yes. Well no, it’s not a pet, it’s …’
‘Squeak!’ called the mouse again, peering up at the Giant Rabbit. The animal grinned at it evilly. It raised one giant foot.
‘No!’ Boo prepared to leap.
But he was too late. With one final squeak the mouse jumped. It ran up the Rabbit’s foot, up its leg, across its body and into one giant ear.
The Rabbit screamed! It lifted its giant foot and with one massive twist in the air it hit the side of its head, right where the mouse had vanished.
The Rabbit’s eyes widened in shock. Then they widened even more. Slowly, very slowly, the Rabbit fell with a thud onto the golden grass.
‘It knocked himself out!’ cried Yesterday.
‘Mouse! Are you all right?’ yelled Boo, quickly pulling his pants on again.
‘Squeak?’ The Giant Rabbit’s ear twitched as the mouse peered out of the massive hole. ‘Squeak?’ it asked.
Yesterday laughed. ‘Squeak, squeak, squeak!’ she told him.
‘What did you say?’ demanded Boo.
‘I said he was a Hero mouse!’
‘Squeak!’ said the mouse.
‘And he agreed,’ said Yesterday. ‘His name’s Squeak,’ she added.
‘Squeak, squeak?’ Squeak ran — more slowly now — down the Rabbit’s body. He stopped to give it one final tiny kick with his hind paw, then ran up Boo’s leg, and into his pocket.
‘Well,’ said Boo.
It was over.
‘We did it! We did it! We did it!’ cried Yesterday. She ran up to Boo and hugged him hard.
‘Squeak!’ protested Squeak, sticking his head out of Boo’s pocket.
‘Oh, I’m sorry! Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak?’ said Yesterday.
‘Squeak,’ said Squeak, but he sounded happier now.
‘How did you learn to speak Mouse, too?’ asked Boo, amazed.
Yesterday stopped in the middle of hugging Mug. ‘I can talk to any animal. I’m not much good at the Wham! Bam! Pow! stuff. But most bogeys are so surprised to find a human who can speak their language that when I talk to them in their language they stop doing whatever it is they’re up to. For a while, anyway.’ She giggled. ‘Do you know what Squeak said?’
‘What?’
‘That was a narrow squeak. Get it? Squeak. He’s as bad as Dr Mussells. I think bad jokes must be catching. But, Boo, Mug, do you realise? We’re the first Level 1s ever to beat a mob of Giant Rabbits! We’re Level 2 Heroes now!’
‘We really are Heroes!’ said Boo, amazed.
Mug frowned. ‘Two come after one? Not before?’
‘No, two is after one,’ said Yesterday firmly.
‘You sure?’
‘I’m sure,’ Yesterday assured him.
A large fuzzy smile spread over Mug’s face. ‘That good,’ he said. ‘Me tell Mum n’ Dad that me Hero level … what-you-say now. They be proud!’
‘We’re going to be the first in the class to reach Level 2!’ crowed Yesterday. ‘Me and you two and —’ she stopped. ‘Princess!’
Boo gulped. How could he have forgotten Princess Princess? Even for a couple of minutes? ‘Princess!’ he yelled.
He began to run. Down the hill and up through the long golden grass, past the bloodstained skulls to the tents. He pushed through the tent door. ‘Princess, are you all right? Sorry, I mean Princess Princess!’
Princess Princess was huddled near the hammock. Her face looked pale. ‘Wha—what’s happening out there?’ she asked tremulously. ‘Are the Rabbits coming? We’d better get down the wormhole fast and …’
Boo beamed. ‘Stop worrying! It’s all done! Mug knocked out some of the Rabbits with his zombie sausage and I ran them till they were exhausted and Yesterday convinced them to turn vegetarian then Squeak got the leader to knock himself out again …’
‘Who is Squeak?’ said Princess Princess, with a trace of her old tone.
‘Squeak?’ said Squeak, poking his nose up out of Boo’s pocket again and peering down at Princess.
>
‘A mouse!’
‘It’s okay,’ said Boo quickly. ‘It’s a tame mouse.’
‘Squeak!’ said Squeak indignantly.
‘Okay,’ allowed Boo. ‘He’s a warrior Hero mouse and I’m going to tell Dr Mussells that he should go to the School for Heroes too. I mean as an official student because he’s already been going to school in my pocket …’
‘Squeak,’ said Squeak, satisfied. He dived down into Boo’s pocket again.
Boo looked at Princess Princess with concern. ‘Princess Princess, are you all right? I was so worried.’
Princess Princess sniffed. It sounded suspiciously like a crying sniff, thought Boo worriedly, and not her old contemptuous sniff at all. ‘No, I’m not all right! I … I … my new sandal strap broke!’
‘Is that all?’ Surely she hadn’t abandoned them just because her sandal strap broke?
‘No! And I … I’ve got a terrible blister! It’s all oozing and …’
‘Where?’ asked Boo, concerned.
Princess Princess shoved her foot out of sight underneath her. ‘Never mind. I’ve bandaged it up now. I was just about to come out and save you all …’
‘Princess?’ Yesterday appeared in the doorway, with Mug behind her. ‘Why weren’t you helping us?’
‘I … er …’ began Princess Princess.
‘She couldn’t,’ said Boo. ‘She was putting a bandage on her blister.’
‘Yes, but —’ began Yesterday. She stopped when Boo glared at her, then shrugged. ‘Well, she’ll just have to stay a Level 1 then. We’ll tell Dr Mussells she had a good reason for not joining in and …’
‘No!’ cried Princess Princess. ‘You can’t do that to me! I’d die of embarrassment!’
‘They might even make her leave the school!’ added Boo. It was a dreadful thought — to never see Princess Princess again. ‘Look, can’t we say she helped us?’ he added desperately. ‘I mean, she was here. And we did vanquish the Rabbits. We just don’t have to say exactly who did what.’
‘Or didn’t,’ added Mug helpfully.
Lessons for a Werewolf Warrior Page 13
