The Cain Directive
Page 15
“So what is it you wanted to see me about?” Cain asked.
“After my basic findings last night and with Ms. Lawson telling me your seizures are happening almost daily, I think it’s time to do further testing to determine how we can treat the problem better.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, there are several procedures designed to first measure where exactly in the brain the seizures are originating from. It’s quite intensive. In no particular order there’s a PET scan, subdural and depth electrodes, amobarbital, several EEG recordings, neuropsychological tests, sphenoidal electrodes, and an MRI.”
“Sounds like a lot.”
“It is.”
“Why can’t we just try other medication for it?” Cain wondered.
“Because I believe that you’re too far gone for medication to be helpful at this point. I’ve dealt with seizures before and in my experience I believe surgery will be your best option. But testing will show our options.”
“I’m still not sure why we can’t just try other medication first for a few months.”
“I’m going to be blunt honest and tell you what I’m thinking. The amount of seizures you’re having is increasing and the length of time you’re having them is also increasing. My worry is that if we just try medication and it doesn’t work that at some point you’re going to have a seizure that you just won’t wake up from,” Ellison stated.
“You think the seizures may be killing him?” Lawson interrupted.
“I think it’s very possible. Further testing will show. I’m not suggesting we take any action right now other than doing the tests to see exactly what we’re dealing with. If we find nothing major, then perhaps medication is the right way to go. If we find something concerning, perhaps surgery will be the best option.”
“You seem like you have your mind made up about what you’ll find,” Cain said.
“I have my suspicions which are based on the fact that your seizures are lasting hours at a time and in rapid succession. That’s not normal. For most people, they don’t typically last that long,” the doctor explained. “That makes me believe we have another issue at stake.”
“When do you want to do these tests?” Cain asked.
“As soon as you would like. We can start right now if you’re ready.”
“How long will the tests take?” Lawson wondered.
“Depending on breaks…probably well into the night.”
“I don’t need breaks. Let’s get it done,” Cain said.
Ellison took Cain into a room for him to get undressed so they could start the testing process. The doctor then told Lawson to go home or to the office and that he’d call her when they were done. It was a long day for Cain that ended roughly fifteen hours later. Lawson waited around the office doing work until he was finished so she could drive him home. Cain didn’t want to talk much about the testing other than to say the results should come back in another week or so.
“Do you want me to stay the night?” Lawson asked as she stopped in front of his apartment.
“Nah. I’ll be fine,” Cain answered.
“OK. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Probably.”
They gave each other a quick hug and Cain went up to his apartment. He turned the lights on and looked around the apartment. He couldn’t help but think it felt a little weird without Heather there. It just seemed so cold and lifeless without her presence. Cain went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He sat down at the table and started to drink it. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes tight. He felt another one coming on. He put the bottle on the table and braced for it. He started to feel light-headed and dizzy. A minute later he passed out, slumping off the chair onto the floor. Cain didn’t wake up for another nine hours, with nobody knowing of his condition. Lawson had called him the next morning to see if he needed anything but Cain told her he was fine. He didn’t mention the seizure he had. He didn’t see the point in worrying her further. Until Cain got the test results back, he figured he’d just stay in his apartment. He worried about going out and having a seizure in public. Not that he was ashamed or anything, he just didn’t want anyone going into a panic over him if he did have one.
In the week that followed, Cain had three more seizures. Each lasted at least eight hours. He knew that wasn’t good. Lawson stopped by a couple of times to keep him company and bring him some food if he needed it. She came over the day his results came in, mostly she just wanted to give him some support if he needed it. Though he was typically a very stoic person, even she was surprised at how calmly he seemed to be handling everything.
“I guess today’s the big day, huh?” Lawson asked.
“Guess so.”
“I can’t believe how nonchalant you’ve been about this all week. I’d be a nervous wreck.”
“The worst part of anything is not knowing. I already am prepared. Makes it easier that way,” Cain explained.
“You’re expecting the worst, aren’t you?”
Cain stood silent for a few moments, not sure about whether to tell her about the additional seizures. “I wouldn’t be surprised at the worst case scenario. And neither should you.”
“But why? Why would you think that?”
“I’ve had three more seizures this week,” he sighed.
“What?! And you didn’t tell me until now?”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“Well that’s kind of a big deal, don’t you think?” Lawson asked.
Cain put his hands up, not having an explanation.
“Have you talked to Heather about any of this?” Lawson wondered.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“You know she still loves you.”
“That’s the problem. She thinks I’m going back to my wife. She needs to distance herself away from me. This wouldn’t help that,” Cain replied.
The pair spent the next couple hours quietly passing the time away, watching TV and reading as they waited for the doctor’s phone call. It came about two o’clock. Cain put the call on speaker so Lawson could hear too. The tone of Ellison’s voice was a good indication of the conversation that was to follow.
“So what’s the verdict?” Cain somberly asked.
“It’s not good, I’m afraid.”
“Didn’t think it would be.”
“The tests have proven, rather conclusively, that you have pressure building up in one spot in the brain which is causing the seizures. The good news is that we’ve pinpointed the issue and we know the exact cause of it. The bad news is that the only real way to stop it from causing additional seizures is surgery.”
“Which entails what?”
“Removing that part of the brain that’s causing the blockage,” Ellison told him.
“How tough a surgery is it?” Cain wondered.
“Well, any time you have brain surgery I wouldn’t say is a walk in the park, but I don’t foresee any problems. It’s a surgery I’ve done before without complications.”
Cain looked at Lawson to gauge her reaction to the news. She had a worried look on her face but nodded at Cain to go through with the surgery.
“I have a date open that we can get it done on if you want me to pencil you in. Three days from now,” Ellison added.
“I think I’d rather skip the surgery for now,” Cain said. Lawson’s eyes ballooned, not believing what just came out of his mouth. “I’d prefer trying different medication.”
“I can tell you with a hundred percent conviction that medication, in any form or variety, is not going to solve your problem. Surgery is the only option to fix this.”
“OK. Let me think about it.”
“Absolutely. Take some time to mull it over. Brain surgery is not something to be done whimsically. Give me a call in a couple of days and we’ll set something up.”
“OK. Sounds good. Thank you, doctor,” Cain said.
As soon as Cain hung up his eyes met Lawson’s.
He knew she disapproved without even looking at her.
“What are you doing?” Lawson asked, perturbed.
Cain looked down at the ground. He didn’t have an answer for her. He just shrugged his shoulders.
“Do you not understand that surgery is the only option?” Lawson repeated.
“So I heard.”
“Then I don’t understand what you’re doing. Medication isn’t going to help.”
“I know,” Cain replied.
Lawson looked him up and down, a disgusted look on her face, before she took a step back. Then it dawned on her what he was doing.
“You’re giving up,” she whispered. “You’re just gonna do nothing.”
“Sometimes you have to know when to give in.”
“What? Since when has that ever been your attitude? You’re a fighter. You always have been. Now’s not the time to change,” Lawson shouted.
“Sometimes you have to be realistic and face facts.”
“What’s this really about?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cain replied.
“Is this about Heather?” she asked.
“No. Why would it be about Heather?”
“Well let me ask you a question then.”
“OK.”
“Would you be doing this if Heather was here right now?”
“That’s not the point,” Cain said.
“It’s exactly the point. Why won’t you give yourself a chance?”
“I’ve had my chances.”
“All this time you’ve been fighting to remember your past, fighting for other people, fighting for yourself, fighting for survival…and now, after all this time, you’re just gonna give up?”
“Maybe this has never really been about me. Maybe it was just about stopping a man from doing to others what had been done to me.”
They continued arguing about his lack of will to keep fighting. Lawson was increasingly getting angry with each passing second. After a few more minutes she realized that she wasn’t going to change his mind and thought maybe it’d be best if they separated and continued the conversation later. Neither was giving any ground and they were getting nowhere except annoyed with each other. She angrily stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her, as Cain watched her leave. He did feel bad that he was upsetting her so much as he could tell she cared about him, but he did feel it was the best course of action.
Lawson kept trying to get a hold of Cain for the next few days to continue their conversation but Cain wasn’t answering his phone. With no success from Lawson, Conlin decided to finally interject. After a meeting with Lawson where she explained everything, Conlin gave Cain a call. Upon seeing Conlin’s name appear on his screen, Cain wasn’t sure whether he should answer or not. To his credit, the few times Cain had talked to Conlin he seemed like an up-and-up guy. Maybe he owed him one last conversation to explain himself. Cain decided to answer.
“Cain, nice to get a hold of you,” Conlin greeted. “Shelly’s been telling me she’s had a heck of a time getting through.”
“Yeah. Tell her I’m sorry about that. Everything’s already been said though. No need to keep going over it.”
“Maybe you could explain it to me then. I’m not sure why you don’t want back in. What else do you plan on doing?”
“I’ve got a lot of money saved up. I don’t need to do anything,” Cain replied.
“So you’re just gonna stay cooped up in your apartment and be a vegetable?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. But I know I don’t wanna keep living the life that I am. That I have been.”
“Things can be different now. I promise you that,” Conlin pleaded.
“Listen, you seem like a decent guy who’s got good intentions, and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful for the time and effort you’re putting in to me, but I think you should put it elsewhere.”
“My job is to get the very best men and women that I can find to help this agency. You’re one of those people.”
“Maybe I used to be. I’m not sure about that anymore.”
“I know a lot’s happened, you’ve had a lot to process, and it’s happened pretty quickly. Don’t make any rash or hasty decisions. Take some time,” Conlin said.
“I don’t need any time,” Cain responded. “I’m done. I’m walking away forever.”
Please Look For The Following Titles In The Cain Series:
The Cain Conspiracy
The Cain Deception
The Cain Directive
The Cain Redemption
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mike Ryan resides in the suburbs of a major city in Pennsylvania. He lives there with his wife, three children, and three dogs.
Mike encourages reader interaction and responds to all personal messages. If you liked this book please consider leaving a review on the site you bought it from. Reviews can really help with others in making a purchase that are not familiar with Mike’s work. You may visit and connect with Mike at various locations on the web:
www.mikeryan36.blogspot.com
E-mail: mikeryan36@verizon.net
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Please Look For The Following Titles In The Cain Series:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR