Bulky & Beauteous

by Mary E Thompson

  I felt sad, sitting there in Cass’s overly fancy kitchen. Sam could have come in and photographed the place for a magazine, but it was all for show. It felt empty without Dad there. We all felt it.

  The scrape of forks against plates, the delicate sips of wine, and the overwhelming silence hung in the air around us. I wanted to shout. To tell them the whole thing was stupid. To shake them out of their trance. But I couldn’t do it. I had to be smart about getting Mom and Dad back together, and pushing was not going to make it happen. It needed to be smart, subtle, seductive. I needed to show Mom that Dad hadn’t forgotten about her and that he was just as interested in rekindling their relationship as she was.

  Not that she’d come out and said it, but how upset she was was a clear sign for me that she wanted things to be different. She wanted Dad back. She just didn’t know how to make it happen.

  Lucky for her, I did.

  As I sat there I planned out their date night. Flowers were a must. A limo might be pushing it, but giving them the option to drink and enjoy the night without worrying about who was driving home would be good. A recreation of their first date would get things moving in the right direction. They’d fall in love all over again and be happy.

  Then I’d be happy.

  “So when are you two going out again?” Mom asked, breaking into my train of thought.

  Cass and I exchanged a glance that said never, but both turned to Mom and grinned. “We haven’t set up anything yet,” Cass replied diplomatically. “With Winter Break for Addi, we figured it would be best to just wait until after the New Year.”

  “Oh, but why? This time of year is perfect for a new romance. And Addi being off means she’ll be more relaxed and ready for a date. Addi you’re not putting your sister off, are you?”

  I cocked an eyebrow at her but knew it did no good. I was the bad seed. The one who was creating the problem here. The one who resisted. “No, Mom, I’m not putting her off. I think Cass is just having trouble finding men who want to go out with me for dinner only. Most men these days expect you to get on your knees on the first date.”

  Cass choked on her wine and Mom did her best impression of a fish. I calmly chewed my food and waited for the repercussions of my words. I knew Cass wouldn’t say much, but the nasty glare she shot me said it all. She still thought I was a boring prude. If she only knew what I’d done with Joey. Ha! Not that I’d ever tell her. He was my dirty little secret.

  “What sort of men are you going out with, Addi? I’m sure Cassandra would never introduce you to men like that.”

  “Of course not,” Cass interrupted before I could say anything. “The men I know are respectable. That’s why Addi needs me.” She shot me a pleading look, begging me with her eyes to not argue.

  “Yeah, Mom,” I said sarcastically, “I’d be lost in the dating world without Cass there, right by my side, helping me out.”

  Cass’s eyes turned to pure evil as I grinned and popped a bite of mashed potatoes in my mouth.

  “Then you girls should go out again. And soon. Addi, you’re not getting any younger, you know. More and more women are having trouble getting pregnant and the longer you wait to start trying for babies the worse it can be. Maybe getting ‘on your knees’ as you said, on the first date is right, but don’t wait too long or you might not have kids at all.”

  I choked on my mashed potatoes. Was she really giving me a sex talk at Christmas lunch? And telling me to sleep with a guy early so I could get pregnant? It’s a good thing there weren’t any men there because I was about to crawl under the table.

  “Mom,” I ground out, “I am not sleeping with someone so I can have a baby. I have a full life. Great friends. A good job. I’m happy. I don’t need a man to make me happy.”

  “Of course not, Addi. Look at me. I’m happy on my own now. But I want grandkids. Cassandra is too young still, but you… it won’t be long before you’re out of luck Addi.”

  Anger burned in my gut. I didn’t want to sit there, on Christmas of all days, and get told, again, how horrible my life was. I dealt with it at Thanksgiving and wasn’t prepared to do it at Christmas. I was doing everything for everyone else. Trying to get my parents back together. Helping out my fellow teachers. Filling in where I was needed. And what was I getting for it? A bunch of shit.

  I pushed away from the table and carried my plate to the sink. I rinsed off the remaining food since I was no longer hungry. Once I put my plate and glass into the dishwasher I turned back to them to find them watching me. “Thank you for lunch. Cass, I’ll see you at Dad’s.”

  Then I left.

  In my car I fumed and tried to make sense of it all. Cass was always mom’s favorite, but mom couldn’t honestly be that blind, could she? Did she really not know who Cass was underneath the polish and shine?

  And did she honestly think getting knocked up by some random guy on a first date, or shortly thereafter, was a good idea?

  That would knock them on their asses, but I would never do it. I couldn’t screw up a kid’s life, my kid’s life, just to push my mom’s buttons.

  When I got to my parents’ house, rather Dad’s house, I parked at the street. I’d left the pie and pasta salad at Cass’s house, but Dad would have something for us to eat. I knew I was early, but I needed my dad for a little while.

  I knocked then pushed through the front door. Noises came from the kitchen so I headed that way after I hung up my jacket. Dad cursed as I stepped into the room, then darted to the sink and turned on the cold water.

  “Did you burn yourself?” I asked, rushing over to see his hand.

  Dad shook his head. “I’m not cut out for this cooking thing. Do you think there’re any pizza places open tonight?”

  I laughed and took his hand in mine. The burn wasn’t bad, but it was likely to blister. I helped dad wrap his hand in a cool cloth then sat him down at the island. “What were you trying to do?” I asked, turning to the stove to see what I could help with.

  “There’s a plate of lasagna in the oven and I was going to make some garlic bread. I burned my hand on the pan on the stove though. I was trying to cook some veggies to go with dinner.”

  “Dinner isn’t for a few hours though. Why are you doing all this now?”

  Dad gawked at me like I said the dumbest thing ever. Then he shook his head. “I didn’t even think, honey. It never crossed my mind.”

  We laughed together. It felt good, sitting back and laughing with my dad. The pressure was off with him. Rarely did I have to fix anything for my dad. Instead, I could just be me.

  “What’s going on with you lately?” Dad asked casually. “Do you have anything fun going on over your break?”

  My mind immediately flashed to my skiing lesson with Joey. That was definitely fun, but I didn’t think my dad wanted to hear about that. I didn’t want to tell him either.

  Before my face could turn redder than the lights on the Christmas tree, I said, “Not too much. I have a bunch of papers to grade and will see my friends. Mom keeps trying to get me to go out on dates with Cass’s friends.”

  I barely suppressed a shudder with the thought of another date with Cass and her harem. Unfortunately Dad didn’t miss the gesture. “I take it you aren’t too thrilled with the idea of dating someone Cass knows?”

  I shrugged and tried to buy myself some time. I couldn’t put Dad off long though, and we both knew it. “We went out on a date with two guys she knew. It didn’t go that well. We just have drastically different taste in men,” I said diplomatically, hoping Dad wouldn’t ask for details.

  He didn’t, thank God, just nodded. “You’ll find someone who’s right for you. You and Cass have never been that similar. I don’t know why your mother would think Cass would have any idea the kind of guy you would want to date-“

  “Mom’s just trying to help,” I jumped in. I didn’t want him getting upset with her. If I was going to have any hope of them getting back together he couldn’t be pissed off at her. “She wants me
to have more fun. She knows Cass is basically the expert at having fun. I think she hopes it’ll rub off on me or something.”

  Dad eyed me carefully, fidgeting with the cold pack on his hand. He glanced down at it then looked out the window. “You could stand to have a little more fun, sweetheart. You’ve been taking care of all of us and you deserve a break. Cass is an adult now. Your mom and I have our own issues to deal with. You don’t need to do everything for all of us anymore. I might have to agree with your mom on this one. You need to have some fun.”

  Just when I thought I could relax I was getting the same old shit, but from my dad. The one person I could always be myself around. The one person who never told me how to live or who to be.

  Damn it hurt.

  “Yeah, I’m working on that,” I said, stuffing the pain down with the lump in my throat.

  “That’s good,” Dad said, oblivious to the emotions rolling through me at that moment.

  I wanted to scream. To cry. To punch something. I hated that everyone still continued to see me as boring. No fun. I wanted to tell them all about Joey. About how we’d met and giving him a blow job in the woods, kissing in the storage room, and then sex in the woods. I wanted to shock the hell out of everyone.

  But I kept quiet.

  Joey was my secret. The one thing that kept me from yelling. I knew I wasn’t as boring as they all thought I was. I was out there and I was acting crazy. I was shirking my responsibility every time I saw him, ignoring my students so I could spend time with Joey. No one knew except me, and Sam, which meant I had to endure more conversations about me not having enough fun in my life.

  Still, I kept quiet.

  Cass burst through the door a few minutes later. She rushed over to Dad, cooing over his burned hand. She led him to the living room to watch TV while I finished cooking.

  And for the second time in one day I felt like something was missing. This time it was my mom. We weren’t together. It was Christmas and we weren’t all together. I guess I always knew there was a chance it would happen one day. Cass would move away or be spending the day with a boyfriend. Eventually one of my parents wouldn’t be around. But I never imagined it would be like it was. A choice. A decision.

  Cass’s laughter filled my ears, but it still wasn’t the same. I felt hollow inside. I knew what I had to do. No matter how hurt I was by my entire family, or how much they all thought I was overbearing or boring for wanting to help them, I had to put my family back together. I had no choice.

  Seventeen

  Three days after Christmas I was still annoyed but working on my plan to get my parents together. Cass and I hadn’t spoken, but she texted me that she had another date night set up for us for the following weekend. I had no interest in going. I mean, really, why would I? Cass was setting me up because Mom forced her into it. Mom wanted me dating so I’d give her grandkids. And I had no interest in any of it.

  So of course I told her I’d be there.

  Good old Addi, taking care of everyone else.

  I was pissed off with myself so I sent Joey a text that I was heading up to go skiing. We hadn’t talked much since Christmas and his bombshell about me meeting his grandma, but at least with him there was no pressure. I could go up, ski, have some sex, and feel better about my life.

  It was a win-win.

  Maybe there was something to no-strings-attached sex.

  When I pulled up to Winter Ridge I immediately felt better. The tension that had been rolling through me for days began to lift. All I needed was a good release and life would be back to normal. Just in time for girls’ night on New Year’s Eve.

  Sam and I always hung out for New Year’s. In years past Mandy and Claire were with us, but they were doing the couple thing and going to dinner with Xander and Aidan. Sam and I wanted to have fun, which meant going to the ball drop in Buffalo. Bands, booze, and beautiful men were going to mark the start of our new year. And this year Charlie was joining us, too. It was going to be an awesome night.

  I sent Joey a text when I got out of my car. Part of me was hoping we could just skip the pretense of me renting skis and go straight for the sex, but I wasn’t sure how to get up to our hidden cove without skis. Or to do so without drawing a bunch of attention to me. I didn’t need that.

  Skis on, I headed to the lift. Just before it swooped up behind me, I heard Joey’s voice in my ear, “Hey beautiful.”

  I nearly lost my balance as my feet flew out from underneath me, the lift carrying me up into the air, Joey beside me.

  “You scared me,” I yelled.

  “Let’s not do that,” he teased. “If you’re going to scream I definitely want it to be for a much better reason than me scaring you.”

  I smacked him on the arm, but my whole body heated up. It was nice to be on the same page with him. No pretense, no pressure, just sex.

  And no mention of meeting his grandma.

  Yep, we were good.

  “I have no doubt that’ll be happening before long,” I said seductively. At least I hoped it was seductive. It didn’t seem to matter what I said to Joey. He was ready to go and happy to oblige. I loved having a guy like him around. He was fabulous for my ego.

  We rose above the slopes, watching the skiers dart toward the bottom. Again I longed to be that good, to have their talent, or at least the confidence to give it a real try. Maybe one day I’d actually try to ski, but it was not that day. I needed a good round of sex. Something to take my mind off my insane family and the drama they brought to me. Something to make me feel like I was doing okay in my life. Like there wasn’t something missing, even though everyone around me seemed to think there was.

  At the top Joey grabbed my elbow and guided me effortlessly off the ski lift and to the side. “Do you want to actually ski today?” he asked, a teasing hint in his voice.

  I shrugged and worried he wasn’t interested in sex anymore. Did I read him wrong? “Not really, but if that’s all you’re up for…”

  His eyes turned a deep shade of emerald, heating up and scorching my skin. They skirted down my fully covered body as though he could see everything beneath my heavy coat and ski pants. My cheeks flushed and I felt the need to strip my ski jacket right then and there. I pulled off my hat and started fanning myself with it, making Joey laugh. “Come on, ski bunny.”

  Joey took off down the slope, leaving me with my hat in my hand. I shoved it back in place, not caring that my hair was flapping in the breeze behind me. I laughed as I chased Joey down the slope. When I’d get close he’d take off again, a game of cat and mouse that I was determined to win.

  As we approached the bottom of the hill, and our turn off, Joey steered to the right. I darted in front of a pair of skiers, earning a few choice words, and bent my knees, tucking myself into a ball. I shot across the hill and ended up sliding into the woods just in front of Joey. He laughed as I almost lost my balance and fell into a tree. I kept going, not worrying about the tree, or Joey laughing, and made it into the clearing before he did.

  “Someone’s a little eager today,” Joey said, his voice dropping as he approached me. “I think I rather like this side of you.”

  “Less talk, more action, ski man.”

  Joey cocked a dark eyebrow at me. “A little bossy today, are we?”

  “Just ready for the good stuff, and I know you’ve got plenty of it.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Joey teased, slowly unzipping his jacket. My mouth watered as he exposed a sliver of skin between his ski pants and sweatshirt. His hands went to his hips, ready to expose the goods, and he stilled.

  “What about you?”

  I shrugged, “I’m enjoying the show. We’ll get to that later.”

  Joey shook his head and walked toward me. I squealed and tried to run away from him, but he caught me around the waist and tugged me against his chest. His arm locked around me and held me against him, close enough that I could feel the hard ridge of his erection. I moaned and rubbed myself against him, eliciting a r
esponding moan from him.

  He leaned down and captured my mouth in a searing kiss. There was no finesse, no gentleness. Just teeth clattering, limbs seeking purchase, bodies aching to meet. Joey stripped my jacket off my shoulders and kept my arms pinned behind me with the sleeves. He walked us toward the edge of the clearing until my back hit a sturdy tree. His body covered mine, closing me in between him and the tree, one hard length at my front and another at my back.

  Dear God, I wanted him.

  I nipped at his lip, making him back away and look down at me. His jade green eyes turned nearly black with desire, making me feel powerful, exciting, sexy. I pulled him back to me, needing more of his kiss.

  When our lips collided again, his hands were on me, tugging my sweater up to expose my stomach. I sucked in a breath, both to ward off the chilly air and to flatten the flesh he was touching. His hands continued their trek north and cupped my breasts. Nipples turned to hardened peaks, fingers turned to pincers, and soft sounds turned to wanton moans. I wasn’t going to last much longer if he was going to do that.

  “Please, Joey, I need you,” I begged him.

  He pulled back to look at me again. His eyes held a teasing gleam, making me wonder what in the hell was going on. “You’re going to get me, but I need you first. I need to watch you come apart in my arms, to feel you lose control, to taste you as you come.”

  Panic settled in. That wasn’t going to happen. I liked my orgasms the old fashioned way, with a cock involved. Maybe a few fingers, but never a mouth. Most guys didn’t care, were really happier that way. But Joey seemed intent on changing that.

  “I just want to feel you. I need to feel you inside me when I come. Please,” I begged again, dragging my arms from my coat and plunging my hand into his pants in an effort to distract him.

  His knees buckled and we nearly fell into the snow. Joey braced himself against the tree, his hips moving in time with my pumping hand. “Oh, sweet Jesus,” he groaned before he covered my mouth with his again.