What Hurts the Most 2

by Tynessa

  All I Want is you!

  Tangela

  I knew I should’ve stopped Kacey when he walked out on me three damn days ago, but my pride wouldn’t let me. Shit, to be honest I was upset with myself for even telling him the truth, but I wanted to get it off my chest, though. He’d been out for almost two weeks now, and every day it was harder and harder to look him in the face knowing I was keeping that secret from him. After seeing the pain upon his face, I couldn’t make myself admit to fucking Quintez more than that one time. I felt in my heart that Kacey would eventually forgive, me but at this point, I was beginning to have doubts that he would even come back home to me.

  I might’ve been in love with Quintez, but a huge piece of my heart was still with my day one boo, Kacey. Could it even be possible to love two men at the same time? I didn’t know. I just knew that one still held my heart, but I was in love with the other one—if that made any sense at all. Maybe I wasn’t really in love with Quintez. It might’ve just been lust, or maybe it was his penis I was in love with. No, that couldn’t be the case, because I loved every moment I spent with that dude. It wasn’t about the sex at all. It was Quintez that I was in love with. Well shit, does Kacey really have my heart? I questioned myself.

  “Of course he does!” I spoke out loud as a hard knock was heard at my front door. I got off the couch and made my way to it, but my mind was still on this dilemma that I was in. On two different occasions, two of Quintez's bitches had come at me sideways about him. That’s part of the reason I couldn’t leave Kacey for him. Yea, Quintez might’ve said he loved me, but was he really ready to fully commit himself to me? That was something we would have to sit and talk about before I even consider thinking about leaving Kacey.

  I looked through the peephole and saw Kacey standing there with his head down, and my heart skipped a beat at that moment. My hands had begun shanking as I unlocked the door. I opened it, and it was like I fell into his arms. A part of me was even surprised when he hugged me back. Kacey held my body so long and tight, almost like he was afraid to let go. Even when I tried to pull back, he just pulled me closer to him and squeezed tighter than he already were. It wasn’t until I whispered into his ear how sorry I was, that he finally let go. Grabbing my hand, Kacey pulled me over to the couch. I felt like shit that I even cheated on him in the first place. Kacey would’ve never done no shit like that to me, and I think that’s why it’s fucking with me so hard.

  “Kacey baby, I’m so—” I started to apologize to him once again, but he placed his index and middle finger over my lips to hush me. I just closed my eyes and nodded my head.

  “I never thought you would do some shit like this to me, Tan. Fucking with another nigga when I needed you the most! That was some foul-ho ass shit you did,” Kacey’s words made me feel worse than I was already feeling. “And I’m not calling you a ho; I’m just saying. If you couldn’t or didn’t want to hold me down, then all you had to do was say so. Trust me, I would’ve understood. I asked you over and over were seeing someone else, and you kept kicking it to me like you were just sitting here waiting on me to come home. Had me in there thinking I was just some insecure obsessed ass nigga.”

  “Kacey it wasn’t like that with me and Quintez. It sort of just happened. I was trying to be a good friend and be there for him, because he was still grieving with his mother’s death and one thing lead to another,” I explained with a half lied. Yeah, he might’ve been still grieving, but that didn’t have anything to do with me sleeping with Quintez. I was going to leave that on a need to know basis, though.

  Kacey chuckled and looked at me like ‘I can’t believe this bitch just sat here and uttered that bullshit ass lie out her mouth.’

  “You know, it really don’t matter why you did it, it shouldn’t have ever happened in the first place,” he said with much anger in his voice as he mugged the shit out of me. Good thing Kacey isn’t one of these brothers out here that beat on their woman, because I was pretty sure he would’ve knocked the shit out of my ass.

  “Well I can’t turn back the hands of time, Kacey,” I hunched, my shoulders and said. I wasn’t at all trying to be nonchalant about the situation but either he was going to forgive me and we moved forward, or he was going to leave me. I would be hurt, but I made my bed and now I had to lay in it.

  “Can you look me in the eyes and say that you will never sleep with him again?”

  I wasted no time grabbing Kacey’s hand, looking him directly in the eyes and repeating the words he wanted to hear. Yes, I had grown feelings for Quintez, but as long as I stayed away from him, I knew those feelings would disappear in due time.

  “Aight. I’m going to trust your word on that.” When Kacey said that, I damn near jumped into his arms. I hugged my baby until he pulled back. “I’m forgiving you Tan, but not forgetting. I swear, if you’re planning of seeing that nigga again, you need to let me know now so I can go on about my business, because you’re not about to be sleeping with me and him both. You know I have no problem beating that nigga’s ass if it came down to it.”

  I seriously doubt Kacey could beat Quintez’s ass, but hey, if he wants to think that then who was I to interfere with his thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to put Quintez on a podium or nothing like that, but I could tell he was cut from a different cloth than Kacey. Quintez looked like he’d been ‘bout that thug life since he was a baby, and stayed ready for whatever. He just had that demeanor about him—the one that said ‘I’m not to be fucked with.’ Meanwhile, Kacey wasn’t really about that life. Don’t think for one second that my baby was a punk though, because he was far from that. He just wasn’t on Quintez’s level yet.

  “I know Kace, and it’s not going to even go that far. Quintez knows I’m with you and plus, he doesn’t even want me on that level anyways. So no worries!”

  “But do you want him on that level?” Kacey wanted to know.

  “Of course not! You’re the only one I want.” I tried convincing him, but in reality, I wasn’t so sure who I wanted. Kacey stared at me for what seemed like forever, looking as if he wanted to say something else but thought against it.

  Licking those pink lips of his, he finally spoke, “I better be the only nigga you want.” He pulled me onto his lap and tongued me down. Whew. That was a close one. I couldn’t believe I almost lost my boo over my own stupidity. I would never jeopardize mines and Kacey’s relationship again.

  Chapter 17

  Brotherly Love!

  Quintez

  “Yo, Tez, let me holla at you my nigga.” I turned around and Kace was standing there. This nigga had just added more fuel to the fire that was already burning. Folding my arms across my chest, I leaned against my old school ride and waited for this fool to get whatever it was off his chest.

  I’m assuming he found out about me and Tan—how, I didn’t know, but what else would be his reason for wanting to holler at yo’ boy. Yea, we might’ve be doing business together, but that nigga went through Jay, and my brother brought it back to me. Kace had no words for me and I had none for him. Only time we held a conversation was when we were in the slammer together, and even then it wasn’t like that. We mostly talked only when we were on the card table together or some shit like that. I didn’t fuck with those niggas in there; I stayed to myself. I wasn’t in that bitch to make friends, fuck all that!

  “I wanna know what the deal was with you and my lady when I was locked up.” This was really some middle school shit, but I didn’t say anything. I just went on and let the nigga vent. “Shid, from my understanding y’all had a little fling going on. Tan tried to kick it to me like it was a one-time thing, but I think otherwise. The day I came home, she said it was y’all’s first intercourse. Is that true?”

  I just stood here looking at this fool. I hope he wasn’t expecting me to answer his question or feed into this childish ass shit. I am not the bitch he fucking, so I’m not obligated to answer to him. Fuck he thought this was? Thought I was just going to sit
here and feed him all the bullshit he wanted to know. Nah, that ain’t even me! I don’t kiss and tell.

  After he realized I wasn’t about to answer his dumb ass question, he began running his mouth again, “I’m just trying to hear the truth. I wanna know what’s up and I’m pretty sure if the shoe was on the other foot you would too.”

  This nigga Kace was a bitch, for real! I could see that shit right now. I didn’t even want to continue to stand here and hear this dude talk, so I was about to end this conversation right here and right now. I’m a grown ass man that’s not about to sit here and go back and forth with another nigga about his girl. Whatever information he wanted to know about her, he needed to go right back to her ass and find out what he was looking for.

  “Look my nigga, no disrespect to you, but I’m not about to sit here and listen to this shit you spitting. We’re not fucking, so don’t come at me asking about who I stick my dick in. Tan is your girl, so you need to go have this conversation with her, because I don’t have no answers for you.” I felt like I was in a damn interrogation room talking to a cop. Opening my car door, I was about to get inside, but this nigga started back talking.

  “I’m saying though, I just didn’t want to have bad blood between us. I mean, I’m on your payroll, so I wanted everything out on the table, without there being any hard feelings,” Kace said. Yea, he’s a bitch!

  “Oh we’re cool. No hard feelings here,” I assured him as I got inside my car.

  I sat here replaying the conversation Kace and me had the other day. There weren’t any hard feelings with him. I was mad at myself for even taking it there with Tan, and even more so for falling for her little ass. It was all good though, because now I had Grisela’s fine ass. I was going to try and do right by her too. Who knows, she might even win my heart in the long run. I chuckled and shook my head at that as I got up and answered my front door.

  “What’s up?” I spoke to my brother. I silently thank God that Lo wasn’t with him, because since I found out he was the father of Bree’s daughter, seeing him would cause my trigger finger to itch. I had a bullet just for his disloyal ass, and since I found out he was fucking Bree behind my back, I was going to keep a close eyes on him. There’s no doubt in my mind that this fuck boy was a snake, if he would fuck my main bitch, who’s to say he wouldn’t do some more betrayal ass shit.

  “Ain’t nothing, you about ready to go make this move?” my brother asked me. We haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye lately, but we were still business partners. I felt he was on some snake shit, too, at one time. None of these fuckers that was in my small circle was loyal.

  Jay’vion and me headed straight to the projects. Those niggas hadn’t gotten back with me about my money, so I wanted to know what was up. Pulling up to the project in Jay’s black on black Range Rover, I sat in the passenger seat and adjusted my hat; pulling it low.

  “Nigga don’t be trying to hide, thinking Bree going to be out here,” Jay said while laughing.

  “Nigga fuck you,” I responded as we got out the truck and rushed inside. My nigga was right; I didn’t want to risk the chance of being noticed by Bree. I wouldn’t be scared to bet her funky ass was out here some damn where. I got my keys out my pocket and unlocked the door to the apartment.

  “Yo” I called out, noticing Darius asleep on the couch. Dude better have my cash while he’s in here taking naps and shit. He jumped right up looking around.

  “What’s up,” he answered rubbing his eyes like a baby.

  “Where the fuck is Rico and Chuck?” I asked while Jay sat on the couch, mugging Darius and not saying a word.

  “I don’t know where those niggas went man.”

  “Y’all get our shit yet?” I already knew the answer, but asked for the hell of it.

  “Man we’re working on it. Them niggas not trying to help me get it up though,” he said, shaking his head. I wasn’t trying to hear that. I didn’t give a damn who was helping and who wasn’t. Somebody better have gotten my shit, ASAP. “I knew we shouldn’t have let B ass in here, I know it had to be him that got it,” he said regretfully.

  “Did you notice one of those niggas missing on the court when y’all was balling,” Jay finally spoke up and asked; all the while, still mugging the poor boy.

  “Naw man. They probably had one of their hos come back up or some shit, then again that nigga B did leave before us.” When he said, that Jay and me looked at each other and nodded our heads.

  “Aight man we out. Y’all niggas better put y’all heads together and work some kind of magic,” I said as me and my brother walked out.

  “Man somebody is lying and I’m ready to find out who,” said Jay once we were inside his truck.

  “Yea, that shit gon’ come out bruh, just be patient,” I assured him calmly. “Even though it was a lot of money, it wasn’t about that. Just the fact that they stole from us had me ready to murk a nigga.” There was plenty of money where the 80g’s came from. I wasn’t sweating over that, but it was the principle of it all.

  Jay’vion and I rode around, checking the rest of the trap houses while passing blunts after blunts. I was glad he finally got his shit together and got off the drugs. I was really feeling I could trust him again, but I wasn’t for sure. I had to see who felt the need to steal from me first. Shit, this was a cutthroat business and right now, I didn’t know who to trust. He stole a little powder before, so who’s to say he’s not the one that stole the 80g’s worth of the hard shit. I personally didn’t think my brother had nothing to do with it, but you never know.

  “So are you still thinking about starting you own empire?” I asked Jay. His ass damn near slammed on brakes in the middle of the interstate. I’m assuming he was wondering how I knew about his little plan. “It’s no biggie, bruh. I’m not even mad that you wanna do that. I don’t understand why, when you’re eating good over here, but I’m not mad. I just hope it don’t cause beef between me and you. But that would be too much like right, huh?! You do know we are going to be competing with one another, don’t you?”

  I’m not going to even front like I wasn’t hurt when I found out my brother wanted to start his own territory, because I was. All because I was looking out for him by keeping his ass out the trap. That didn’t make any sense to me. I wasn’t going to sweat over it, though. If that was what he wanted to do, then who was I to stop him. I knew and he knew that he wasn’t about to make any money, because I had the streets on lock, so that was about to be a bad move on his part.

  “Yea, I was thinking about it, but I don’t think it would be my best move. Like you said, we’re eating good out here and got these streets on lock, so if I start my own shit, then that would only cause conflict between us. I know mama wouldn’t want that. Plus I can’t leave you out here with these disloyal mothafuckas. Niggas stealing and shit! I wouldn’t ever do you like that, lil bro.” I smiled and chuckled at what my brother had just said. That was the smartest shit he’s said in a long time.

  “Fo’sho,” was all I replied back. I felt I finally had my brother back, and in due time our relationship would go back to the way it was. Our mother wouldn’t want it any other way.

  Chapter 18

  Thicker The Berry, Sweeter The Juice!

  Jay’vion

  When I dropped my brother off at home, I just rode around to clear my head. Shit, it ain’t like I had someone to go home to. I had pretty much cut Stacy off. The only time I felt like dealing with her was when I was trying to get my dick waxed. I had other shit to deal with, like helping my brother find out who the fuck felt the need to cross us. That shit was an inside job and I knew it was. Now, I don’t know who’s behind it, but we were damn sure going to find out. I know I had stolen a little cocaine—well, to me it wasn’t stealing. Shit, I was the fucking boss too, so how Tez considered it stealing, I didn’t know. I wasn’t going to even think about it, because it was a thing of the past. We’d moved on from it, so why dwell over it now?

  Once everything died down, I was
going to focus more on getting Asia back. I was going to gain her trust again, and this time I was going to do right by her. I should’ve listened to my damn mama all those time she warned me that one day Asia was going to get fed up with my shit and leave me for good. She always said mama knows best, and now I was regretting that I never took her words serious. I had pretty much given up on finding out who approached Asia in the mall that day. I mean, the shit was done with, and Stacy as well as Asia said it wasn’t her, so it is what it is.

  Don’t judge me, but just like any other day, I rode past Asia’s house and gritted my teeth, seeing that bitch ass nigga’s car in the driveway. It was like that mothafucka had moved in with her ass. Sad thing about it was, I couldn’t even address her about it, because I didn’t want to come off as a damn stalker. I wanted her to feel as if she could trust me again, and if she knew I was riding past her house damn near every day, she would definitely feel some type of way about that. I just sped up and went on about my business.

  I headed to a little pool hall called ‘The Café to chill out. Sitting at the bar watching the game, I was sipping on henny and coke and in my own little zone. I kept hearing snickering behind me, but I didn’t pay it any attention. Sounded like a group of childish ass ghetto bitches that was trying to get some attention anyways. They weren’t going to get any from me–that was until I heard one say that she was going to the restroom. I looked over my shoulder and shawty was bad as fuck. Besides Asia, this girl was the most gorgeous woman I’d ever laid eyes on.

  Shawty stood at about 5’6 and most would’ve considered her as a plus size sister, but to me, she was just thick in all the right places. She wasn’t at all the type of woman I would normally go after, but it was something about her that caught my eye. However, I wanted to get things right with Asia, so I politely turned my head and started back watching the game and she went on about her business.