by Jude Ouvrard
He killed Dave and saved me from a life of anxiety. He'll never return and hurt my family or me. When I came back from Seattle after enduring abuse for all that time, I didn't think I was bringing it with me. It followed me and hurt my family, both emotionally and physically. Dave’s soul died long before he did but the day he died, he took Lennox's soul with him. Shit! It breaks my heart and I really wish Lennox was here with me.
"Lilly, your order is up." Zoe’s voice brings me back to Earth.
Shit, I'm lost in my thoughts again. That’s the second time in two days while I’ve been at work.
"I'm sorry, Zoe, I have no excuse. It's just hard to be back, I guess." Hard doesn’t even cover it. It’s only my second day and I’m exhausted.
"No worries. I think you're doing fine and your new rusty voice is so damn sexy." She says loud enough for the cooks to hear. They laugh, which makes me laugh too, it’s almost contagious.
Now blushing, I take my order and hurry to the table.
"Good morning, officers. Here is your bacon and eggs, and here is the Greek yogurt with fresh fruits and honey."
"Thank you, Lilly." One of them says.
"You're welcome. Bon appétit!" I smile and leave their table to go back to the front where the coffee pot is. I do my round of refills and have a quick chat with everyone. The bag of nerves in my stomach keeps getting bigger. Can this day go by faster, please? I have an appointment with Dave's attorney right after my shift here. Dealing with this is terrifying. Dave probably had a plan. Everything in his life was controlled and managed with precision. Not knowing exactly why they want to talk to me, I’m guessing it has to do with our house. I do not intend to go back in there.
"Here, a cup of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream."
I don't remember ordering that. "Which table?"
"Nah, it's for you. Gotta put some weight back on because you’re making me look fat," she giggles while I roll my eyes childishly.
"Thank you. These are the best here."
"I know, right?"
The morning rush at the diner keeps me distracted for the most part. Now taking care of my last table of the day, I'm starting to feel more anxiety building inside.
My customer pays his bill so I grab my coat and head out of the diner with Zoe following me to the bus stop. Since moving back with my sister, I’m lucky enough to be living across the street but today, I have this meeting in the middle of town in one of those huge prestigious buildings. Thankfully, it’s a beautiful day outside. The sun is back and keeping me warm after days of rain.
Zoe entertains me on the bus ride, telling me every single bit of gossip she heard while I was away. Some are funnier or juicier than others and I find myself laughing quite a few times. Getting out of the bus, right in front of the building, I do some breathing exercises before going in. Everything will be fine, I say to myself one last time before entering the dark blue glass building. I decide to take the stairs to the second floor instead of the packed elevator. A little exercise won't kill me.
"Hi, I'm here to see Wilfred Levingston." My shaky voice is a sign of how nervous I am.
"Sure. Follow me, Miss McCarthy." She knows who I am. That's odd. "Mr. Levingston will see you now." She opens the door of his office and I see him sitting at his desk with different piles of documents facing him. He stands up and welcomes me inside.
"Good day, Miss McCarthy."
"Good day."
We shake hands and he invites me to sit at a small round table in the opposite corner of his office. This office alone is intimidating me. There are two big paintings on each side of the door. The windows are full length letting the light of the sun enter and warm it. Everything screams wealth in here, from the furniture made of thick wood, to the leather chairs. I can tell a professional decorated it.
"We invited you here today in regards to Dave Philipps passing." I nod feeling sick. "I know you had recently separated from Mr. Philipps but prior to the separation, he had intended to marry you and therefore made changes to his will making you the sole heir."
What?
“When did he make these changes?”
"Recently, Miss."
"Okay, thank you." Tons of questions are coming and going in my mind. Why would he do that if he had planned to take my life?
"I'm sorry, I'm confused. Are you aware of what happened prior to his death?"
"I am, Miss McCarthy."
"It doesn't make any sense. He tried to kill me and now you’re telling me, I'm sole heir to his estate."
"He mentioned that your relationship was complicated at the time but that he had good intentions to make things right."
"Okay, so what does it mean?"
"It means that everything Mr. Philipps owned is now yours, the house, his cars, his investments. All will be transferred into your name. His family could always try to contest but I’m almost certain they won’t bother due to the facts. "
I think I'm going to be sick. This is wrong and beyond what I expected this meeting to be about.
"What if I don't want the house or any of it?"
"We can take care of selling off his real-estates, including the house in Seattle, the condo here in Spokane and the cabin in Colorado."
"Wait, he still owned the condo?" I wasn't aware.
He nods and writes a question mark next to the condo.
"Yes, miss, it appears that he does."
"Okay, well yes, I would like you to take care of all this, please."
"Don't you want to take some time to think about it first?"
Maybe I should.
"Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry this is a lot to process. I didn't expect any of this. I'm not sure I want any of it. I mean, he nearly destroyed my life."
"I'm sorry to hear that but take a couple of days to think about it and we can meet again to clarify his real estate situation and the remainder of his belongings. You should also meet with your financial advisor at the bank. Once the papers are signed, his investments will be transferred into your name."
"If you don't mind, how much are we referring to? So I can prepare myself for this."
"We're talking about an amount of approximately 1.4 million."
"What?" Oh my god, this isn’t happening to me, please. I should be relieved, happy, but I'm not. I'm flabbergasted, in shock.
"1.4..."
"Million." I finish the sentence for him letting the amount sink in. This is too much for me to deal with. I'm not interested. I shouldn't be the one to receive this. I left him, after all.
"I think it would be a good idea for you to go back home and think about everything I’ve just told you. When you’re ready, call my assistant and we will schedule a second appointment." He says as he hands me his business card.
"Is it possible for me to have a copy of his will, I would like to read it." I can’t bring my mind to understand why Dave has done this. Of course, he didn’t want his will to give anything to his family since he hadn’t spoken to them in years. I know he loved me, in his own warped and twisted way. He just really didn’t know how to love someone properly, everything became a possession, and I was just another condo to him. Dave had so many issues.
“Of course.”
I’m leaving Levingston & Munroe Attorneys’ Office with so many questions in my head. None of which I’ll ever get answers to. Why did Dave do this to me? It was never about the money for me. I knew he had a lot of it but I never asked. I took the twenty thousand dollars out of my account when I ran away because it’s all I had. I left my car, the furniture, everything. I’ve barely even touched that money.
I have to talk to my sister about all of this because I’m going crazy here.
Taking my phone out of my purse while I’m standing at the entrance of the building. I need her advice now because I’m not feeling okay with all this money, the house etc.
“Hello.” She sings.
“Abbey, can you meet me at the apartment in fifteen minutes?”
“I’m alr
eady there. What’s up?”
“You’ll never guess.”
“Umm, I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I find a cab.”
I hang up feeling somehow better. Probably only because I know I have someone to talk to. She will no doubt be super excited about it but I’m not. Lennox would have helped me and told me exactly what I needed to hear. It sucks that I can’t ask him. I miss him and his perfect words of comfort.
I find a taxi quickly and it was an interesting ride, the driver kept singing and telling me about his love for country music. I simply nodded politely all the way home.
I’m standing at Abbey’s front door taking a few moments to think about what I’m going to tell her. Obviously, everything but how am I going to announce it. It’s killing me. I feel like a thief.
As soon as I open the door, I see her on the couch, drinking coffee.
“I’m home.” I say without enthusiasm.
“Hey. What’s up? Feel like I‘ve been waiting hours and it sounds like bad news.”
“Well, it depends how you look at it.” I say knowing she’ll probably be super thrilled.
I sit down next to her and repeat everything Mr. Levingston told me. At first, she doesn’t react and it surprises me because she is normally very extrovert.
“How do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know. I want to be angry but it won’t change anything because he’s dead. Some people die and you feel grief and it takes months or years to get through the sadness. With him, I don’t feel anything but pain and anger. He ruined so much of my life that I wonder if I should take everything like it’s a healing balm or if I should be disgusted by it and give it away to people who need it.”
“Lilly, I can’t tell you how to feel but this is a lot of money. Enough for you to take it easy pretty much all of your life. However, if you want to give it to women or families who are victims of domestic violence, I think it would be a pretty neat thing to do. Sleep on it for a few days. It’s not a small decision to make.”
“I know. The attorney gave me a copy of his will.” I say opening a thick envelope. There is more inside than just the will, there are documents explaining my rights. It’s too much for my mind to take in right now. A smaller envelope falls from the pile of documents. I take it and I already know what it is when I see my name on it. Lilly-Rose. Only Dave called me Lilly-Rose and I never want to hear it again.
Opening the small white envelope, I see Abbey looking at me and I can tell she knows what it is too.
A letter from Dave. I mean, a last letter from Dave. Do I really want to read it? I guess I have to. It might give me some explanation after all.
Lilly-Rose,
If you're reading this letter, it means… you’re alive after all. I, on the other hand, am probably not. As I’m writing this letter to you, my intention is to make you my wife. It took me days to find you after you left and I’m afraid I might be too late but I can’t let you go or watch you with another man. I love you too much and I’m not willing to share you. I want us back together. How we are when we’re together is great. Don’t you think?
I still don’t know why you left me.
Don’t you think it’s funny that while you are away in Seattle, I’m here waiting for you in your new apartment? I don’t mean to be intrusive but my detective saw the car rental fees you paid with your new credit card. You’re worth more than that.
I bet you miss the comfort of our loving home. This place is too ordinary, you deserve better. While I waited for you in my car in front of your apartment, I saw your sister picking up Sugar and I saw the man you’ve been seeing going up to your place frantically and then, his. He left right after this. I bet he is going to meet you.
I’m surprised that you would forget me so soon. Do you think about me when you kiss him?
I have a plan for your return but I'm not sure how everything will come together. I have different options.
You should know that I love you more than anything. I'm leaving behind everything you'll need in case my plans fail. With everyone surrounding you, I can't be too optimistic.
It tears me apart to know that you're with another man when I love and need you so much.
Yours always,
Dave
Abbey sighs thoughtfully. “Can someone try to kill someone else out of love?” I shrug. “Because apart from thinking that Dave was mentally ill, I think he loved you beyond life. It’s like when he saw that you didn’t want to leave with him, he decided to kill you rather than knowing you wouldn’t be with him. He failed because I showed up and Logan too.”
“He chose death instead of accepting our life apart.” I shake my head in disbelief. “I hate to say that but it sort of makes sense.”
“It’s making me sick to think that he almost took you from me and Matt.” She cries and it takes everything within me not to start too.
“I’m okay now, Abbey. If it wasn’t for Lennox, I would be perfectly fine.”
She wipes her tears with the back of her hand. “I haven’t heard anything about him and Matthew hasn’t mentioned his name in days.”
I have to let him go. I’ve wasted so much time in my life with the wrong person, I won’t let him ruin more of my life. I have to let him go, I repeat it over in my mind. What we had was amazing but only for a very short period. It shouldn’t be too hard to move on.
“If you need advice before going back to the attorney’s office, I’m right here for you. I might not know much about it but two brains are better than one.” She smiles but sadness still reflects in her eyes.
“I love you, Abbey.” I kiss her cheek before hugging her. “I’m so happy to have you again. I missed you so much.”
“I love you too. I’m never letting you go. Your next boyfriend better watch out because I’m serious. You can’t move away again.”
I chuckle at her cuteness. “I promise I won’t.
“What do you think about grabbing dinner?” I nod. “Come on, I’m starving. We’ll think about this later but now, I have to eat.”
“I’m right behind you.”
She drives me to that Air Force filled restaurant. The same one we went to when I first moved back here. I think Abbey is very fond of this place. It’s also where I saw Lennox again for the first time in years. I have to let go of the memories. I know.
I try pushing away everything related to Dave. The money, the real estate and his revelation, it’s too much and I don’t want to think about it tonight.
Inside the restaurant, there are so many people. It’s noisy and not relaxing at all, I don’t mind though. My life has been on the boring and quiet side for too long. I need distraction and a good time.
We order beers first while we look at the menu. I want ribs, something I haven’t eaten in years. I barely remember what they taste like. Abbey decides to order the same, plus some chicken wings.
“Screw the calories tonight because it’s sister’s night and we eat what the hell we want.”
“You got that right.” I laugh. “When will Logan be back?”
“I never know for sure but I think it’s next week.”
“I don’t know how you do it. I would miss him like crazy if I was you.”
She’s laughing. “I do miss him like crazy but that’s how it is. I just have to accept it and try to have a good time with my friends and sister when he’s away. When he’s back though, I don’t want to spend a minute away from him.”
Logan is such a strong man, he has no fear in life and I owe him my life and Abbey’s. “I hope he is going to propose to you someday.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, he better or he’ll never hear the end of it. Logan is my G.I Joe and I want to marry him and have babies by the time I’m twenty-five.”
Twenty-Five, yeah that’s how old I am and I have none of that. Not even a boyfriend or a place to stay. It’s disappointing. I remember being Abbey’s age and wanting the same things. H
aving kids with Dave would have been a terrible idea, though. I made the right decision when I decided not to bring up the subject with him. It would have made my life impossible. Thinking about how he would have acted with the kids. No, I don’t even want to think about that. It will ruin my night.
The waitress brings us our plates. She’s beautiful. Her long ironed blonde hair falls perfectly over her shoulders and her red lips probably make plenty of women envious. She should be modeling, not here. “If you need anything else, let me know.”
“Thanks.” We say in unison before jumping to our plates with our fingers. Eating ribs is a pain in the ass but so delicious, so worth it.
For now, we’re just eating. We’ll do the talking bit later. It’s so delicious and I don’t think there’s enough, I’m a pig and I know it. Of course, it is the point where I have BBQ sauce up to my elbow that someone decides to stop by our table.
“Abbey, Lilly. Are you going to have a drink later?” I remember this guy. He introduced himself to me that one night I was here before.
“Carlos, is it?” He nods smiling. “I would shake hands with you if I could but unless you don’t mind being covered in sauce, I suggest you wait.”
“Of course. I’m sorry for interrupting your dinner.” He says looking at me, completely ignoring Abbey. I think I’m blushing.
“We… umm… We’ll meet you later for a beer.”
“Awesome. I’ll be right there… waiting.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “See you soon.”
“Yeah.” I’m speechless and taken by surprise. I did not expect that to happen tonight. He leaves the table with a huge grin on his face. “Was he…”
“Totally flirting with you. Carlos is a very good guy. He’ll be a good husband and I’m sure he will make beautiful babies with you.”
I almost choke on my food. “Don’t you think it’s a bit fast?”
“Carlos has been asking about you since the first night I brought you here. Be nice to him or you’ll break his heart.” She points her finger at me but I know she’s not that serious.
“Let’s start with a beer and I’ll see after that.” Am I ready to go on dates with someone new? I have no idea but he’s a cutie. So, I guess I’ll see.
