My Ward My Woman

by Jordan Silver

  I’d not violated her privacy thus far and had only used it as a precaution just in case. My enemies wouldn’t think twice about using her to get to me, but she didn’t know that. Somehow, I didn’t think that’s what this was about but just to be sure.

  There was the usual back and forth in messenger between her and the friends I knew of and some I didn’t. Most of it had to do with school and other trivial teenage bullshit. The one that caught my attention was from someone calling themselves the White Rabbit. That one stuck out since all the others pretty much used their real names somewhere in the title.

  I opened the first message and didn’t see anything suspicious. Just the usual how are you etc. But the more this person interacted with her, the more I noticed a trend in the conversation. It all seemed based on the fact that she was too sheltered.

  At least that was the underlying message I got. I could’ve disregarded it as just more teenage rebellion, but something about the way the person spoke struck me as more intrusive than just another teenaged girl.

  “Who are you?” I read the last five or so messages that had started just before her eighteenth birthday and continued until this afternoon. It was right there in black and white, this person asking her to meet in West Haven.

  I knew of a way to find out who it was but I’d have to wait until I went into the office on Monday. I put it all away for now and tried to make sense of just what the hell this White Rabbit was after.

  It was obvious that Alexandra came from wealth; I kept the girl in the best of everything. She got a quarter of a million dollar car for her birthday for fuck sake. But so were most of the kids in that school she went to and as far as I know they were the only ones she’s known for the past five years.

  From the tone this person seemed to have some kind of resentment towards her, something my bright-eyed girl wouldn’t catch onto since she was still an innocent, though lately you wouldn’t think it with her behavior.

  I copied everything from this person but my real interest was in her IPO. Once I got the location I’d be able to tell more and then I’ll make my move. Come Monday I’ll have removed this person from her life one way or another. No one was allowed to harm her.

  The servants were gone for the day since the weekends they worked half days. When she was younger I’d had a live in staff but that changed when she reached sixteen or there- about. Now they came daily and left in the evenings. I maybe should see about changing it back, that way she could go back to behaving herself and stop tormenting me at night.

  Was it this person encouraging her to play the seductress? Nothing in the messages showed that but what about their other conversations? I have no way of knowing what was being said; unless I put a bug on her phone which I balked at doing in the past but was looking like a very good idea now.

  6

  Solomon

  I called her down for dinner an hour later. She came into the room looking sullen and pissed the hell off. I ignored her and pulled her chair out for her to sit. I took my seat at the other end of the table and prepared to enjoy the roasted lamb and potatoes Connie our chef had made that day. It’s Saturday night. I should be going out on the town with my latest fling if I had one.

  Since her birthday I’d lost all interest in leaving her alone. I know mom was right when she said I was over reacting, but since seeing her looking so grown up that night I’ve had a hard time leaving her alone. Jessica was already almost out the door by then since her conversations coming on to the end had all been about my closeness with my ward.

  None of the others before her had ever dared question my devotion to Alexandra; they’d all understood that she came first. So if I had to leave in the middle of a date no matter where we were, they knew better than to put up a fuss.

  Jessica hadn’t been as understanding. She’d chafed at every turn, going so far as to put her foot down and insist that I put her needs first after I refused to discuss my closeness with Alexandra. That was the last time I saw her.

  Now I was losing my little girl to life and realized I wasn’t ready. I looked at her now and all the love welled up inside me. But had that love changed? A little annoying voice asked.

  Of course not, she’s a child for fuck sake. It’s the one argument I kept using to defeat this new hunger in me for her. As long as I keep reminding myself that she was too young, too innocent for a man like me, she was safe.

  The tug of war was in full swing again. I sat at the table across from her willing myself to put a stop to the whole mess once and for all. I knew I was falling in love with her, if I wasn’t already completely there. But each time I thought of giving in, I remembered that she was my friend’s child. The child he’d asked me to protect. I could never…

  Just then she picked up her head and stared right at me. She blushed when she caught me watching her but instead of looking away she stared at me head on. There was a fuck of a lot being said in that one look and my dick was reading every word loud and clear.

  “Why are you treating me like a child? Most of my friends are allowed to go places alone you know.”

  “Who’s White Rabbit?” She rolled her eyes and looked down at her plate. “Just a friend.”

  “Which friend? I never heard of this person before; who is it?”

  “Geez get a grip, she’s just someone I know okay. Why are you acting like there’s something wrong?”

  I took a sip of wine and studied her. Even that had changed. A few short months ago I would’ve got a clear answer. “I forbid you to talk to this person or agree to meet them anywhere again. Do you have any idea the danger you put yourself in today?” That seemed to take the wind out of her sails a bit and she deflated as her shoulders shook in remembered fear.

  “You’re not allowed to go to that place again and Alexandra, if you go anywhere without your detail again I will keep my promise to lock you in your room and lose the key. This shit ends today. I hope you got it out of your system because I refuse to put up with anymore of your bullshit.”

  “I want to go to grandma’s.” She threw her fork down and refused to look at me. She’d called mom grandma from the beginning and neither of us had forbidden her. It gave her an added sense of security so why not?

  Her paternal grandparents were part of her life as well but they weren’t exactly the warm and cuddly type, so she got that from my parents and siblings. Everyone loved and spoiled her little ass from day one. Maybe that’s why I am dealing with her shit now. Too damn spoilt!

  “She can’t save you this time and the answer is no.” She started to get up from her chair. “Sit down Alexandra and stop acting like a three year old brat; enough.” She folded her arms and looked down. If she cried I knew I would give her-her way. I could never stand her tears. Thankfully she kept them contained but I couldn’t seem to let the matter go.

  That’s another problem. Lately it’s as though I looked forward to arguing with her, like it was some kind of release. During the week while we were both busy, she with school and me with work, it was easy. But once the weekend rolled around and we were stuck here together alone, we were like two prizefighters circling each other, and these days we both went for blood.

  “As I was saying, you are not allowed to go to that place again, not now not ever. If you sneak out of this house you can forget that fancy college you got into. I’ll put you in the local university and here you’ll stay. It’s only about an hour and a half away so you’ll go back and forth each day.” I knew that would get her. Her head came up and if looks could kill I’d be a goner. I sat back and waited for the tirade.

  “ I hate you, why are you ruining my life?” This time when she got up I didn’t stop her. I hate hearing those words from her. She could have no idea of how deep they cut, how much they hurt. Mom assured me when I brought it up to her once before that I’d done the same a time or two, and so had my brothers and sisters. I can’t imagine.

  I sat there long after she left feeling like a monster. I don’t know what th
e hell has gotten into me. I can’t seem to separate the child from this new being that was so self-assured and too fucking grown for my liking. You have to let her grow up Solomon. She’s not your little doll anymore remember?

  This was true, even her curls were gone. She’d straightened them the last time mom took her to the salon, and that’s now the new style of choice. I didn’t like it it made her look like an adult. Everything was changing too fast; I wasn’t ready. I wanted my little girl back and yet…don’t you fucking think it Solomon.

  I closed my eyes and prayed for peace. The peace and serenity that had once graced these walls were long gone. Fucking place feels like a battlefield these days and I’m afraid unless something gives soon, we’re gonna end up hurting each other.

  The words are getting harsher and my anger seems too easily ignited these days. I knew what was behind that of course, but wasn’t quite ready to face it yet. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think I knew that I had already made my choice. What a cluster fuck that would be. I don’t think even mom could forgive me if I took my ward to my bed.

  7

  Solomon

  The house was quiet as I did my nightly walk through making sure everything was closed up tight for the night. I set the alarm and headed up to bed, tired both in body and mind. I couldn’t resist looking in on her as I passed her room. She’d pushed the door shut as best she could but the damn thing was hanging off the hinges.

  I eased it open slightly trying my best not to make any noise. She was curled up in bed with her arms around one of her stuffed toys. For a while there she was obsessed with the things but I’d thought she’d long outgrown them. She’s so fond of telling me how grown up she is I didn’t think she still slept with them.

  I stood over her looking down at her in the moonlight. Such a beautiful girl! I reached out and brushed the hair back from her temple. “What’s to become of us babydoll?” I turned and left abruptly not wanting to look too closely at that question.

  I put the day behind me and closed my eyes for some much needed rest. Lately my nights have been troubled, mostly because of her. It’s only in the privacy of my mind that I could accept the truth of what was bothering me. I’m about to lose her. She’s right, she’s an adult now in the eyes of the law.

  In another few years she’d receive her inheritance and would have no more need of me. The thought makes me sick to my gut. But I can’t keep her; I have to let her go. If I keep her what kind of life would she have?

  Wouldn’t she regret not going out there and seeing the world for herself at some point down the line? “Fuck!” I turned over on my side and tried to clear my mind, but there was no getting away from it.

  There was no use denying that something had changed between us after the night of the party. I was just too stubborn to claim it. I swear I’d never looked at her with anything but parental adoration before then.

  She was the light of my life yes, but only in so much as she was the beloved child of my best friend. One who had brought me great joy when in the beginning I’d been scared shitless that I would fuck up.

  I’d been so afraid of getting it wrong that I’d kept her close to me always. She’d been afraid that first year. Sometimes she’d wake screaming in the night for her dad. Then later it was me she was afraid of losing. I’d spent those nights sitting up with her in my arms until she fell asleep again.

  She was like my shadow back then. Whenever I was home she was with me in the same room. She’d do her homework while I got some work done in the evenings, then we’d have dinner together. She was such a little thing then, so conscious of her plight in life.

  I’d gone out of my way to be both mom and dad, though my own mom had pitched in from the beginning and handled the more sensitive stuff.

  Is that when it happened? Is that when she’d stolen my heart? Of course I loved her then, I’d loved her since the day she was born; my perfect little doll. But having her here with me, we’d grown so close, was this inevitable? Or am I just a sick fuck? No I won’t accept that. It’s not like I’d planned this shit, it just happened. I had no control over any of it.

  It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t want me too. There was no point in denying it to myself even if I was still trying to convince her otherwise. The truth is I was more afraid of her wanting me than my wanting her. My lust I could control, maybe. But what the fuck was I supposed to do with hers?

  Should I wait and see if she outgrows it? How can I when I want her with every fucking breath I take? How can I do something that could tear us apart, take her out of my life for good? I had no doubt that if I kept refusing her she’d go away, and her pride, the pride I’d instilled in her, would keep her from coming back. But the alternative could destroy us both. Fucking hell!

  I heard a sound coming from the far end of the hall where her room was. I sat up and listened with my breath held. Maybe she was going to the bathroom or heading downstairs for some water. I told myself that but the rising panic in my chest was like a pre-warning. Something that only happens when it comes to her. Like a sixth sense that’s only been getting sharper as time go by. I listened closely and the sound came again.

  I hit the floor running with my heart in my lungs. “Alexandra?” I slammed the door open and looked around for the danger. There was no one in the room as I moved towards the bed. It took me a second to realize she’d been screaming in her sleep. In the moonlight I could clearly see the tears running down her cheeks. She clutched the teddy bear for dear life as she whimpered.

  “Alexandra? Baby wake up.” I sat on the side of her bed and shook her awake. She rolled into my side and held her arms up to me like she’d done as a child. I didn’t think, didn’t see the danger as I slid down the bed next to her and took her in my arms. “Solomon?” Her voice was choked with tears and fear.

  “It’s okay I’m here now, you’re safe.” She clung to me and broke down in gut wrenching sobs that tore at my heart. I only meant to offer comfort when I kissed her forehead and pulled her tighter against me. My eyes flew open at once and I started to pull away, but couldn’t.

  So soft so sweet! Her scent tickled my nose as she pressed herself harder against me, crying my name piteously. “Shh, I’m here love. Won’t you tell me about it sweetheart?” She turned those wide innocent eyes up to me, and my heart cracked open just a little wider for her.

  I don’t remember who made the first move. If I lowered my head or she raised hers. My eyes were focused on her pale pink cupid bow lips.

  The first brush of my lips across hers was innocent enough. But by the third time I touched her soft lips her breasts were crushed against my chest and my tongue was moving inside her mouth.

  Her taste was sweet, like nectar, and she kissed so innocently it was hard to pull away. Instead of being put off by her obvious lack of know how, I found her inept kisses appealing. The thought that I could be her teacher made my cock even harder.

  I held her as close as possible to me as I let her feed on my tongue. My hands roamed over her back until I was cupping her ass cheek in my palm, pulling her into my stiff cock.

  I should stop this, it was wrong on so many levels; but when I finally came to my senses, she wouldn’t release me. I pulled back, taking my tongue from her mouth, only to feel hers tease gently, innocently at mine. She opened her legs slightly, making room for my now rock hard length, crushed the warm heat of her pussy against my already leaking cock, and I was lost.

  “Shit.” I turned with her in my arms, putting her beneath me now, my cock grinding into the softness between her thighs. Her legs opened wider to accept me. I saw myself sliding into her; saw our bodies entwined as I pounded into her. Releasing all the pent up lust that has been riding me for weeks now. And still that little voice questioned if this was the right thing for her.

  There was still time. I could still end this before it was too late, before I went too far. I had all intentions on getting up and leaving her bed but she made the sweetest sound and moved ag
ainst me, making my cock weep more. I looked down at her face and saw the need, the longing, and the fiery lust burning in her eyes.

  Her eyes seemed to plead with me not to leave her. I rested my forehead against hers and tried to calm my erratic breathing and gather my thoughts, which were suddenly scattered. She took my moment of weakness and made her play. Her little hand came down between us and covered my cock shyly. I looked at her in surprise and the uncertainty in her gaze, as if she was afraid of rejection, sealed my fate.

  My body shook and I buried my face in her neck as I fought for control. I pressed into her hand until my cock grew, and I ached. The battle raged on inside until I felt I would go mad. She squeezed and released me, bringing her hand up to my face to pull my lips back down to hers.

  “Be sure.” I barely got the words out before she was pushing her tongue into my mouth and rubbing her pussy against me wantonly. Her movements were wild and unsure as she grabbed at me; she was in full heat. What the fuck?

  8

  Solomon

  I felt the heat of her thigh beneath my hand as I pushed the sleep shirt she wore higher, until the pale silk of her underwear showed between her thighs. It was she who took my hand and led it to her plump pussy mound. I sighed into her mouth as I felt the last bit of fight I had in me leave.

  She might have led me there, but it was I who pushed my fingers beneath the silk cloth to feel the soft silkiness of the curls that covered her virgin cunt. She bucked and moved beneath my hand and I hadn’t even started yet. Her pussy’s scent hit me hard in the gut and my cockhead leaked faster.

  That was the point where common sense and decency departed and madness crept in. I tore the scrap of cloth from her and settled firmly between her thighs. “Look at me.” Her eyes still wet with tears opened on mine. “Are you sure you want this?” I knew deep down in my gut of course, that all her teasing and acting out would lead to this. I’d known since that whispered ‘why’ that this day would come, but it was my duty as her guardian to protect her even from myself.