Submission is Not Enough Kobo

by Lexi Blake

  Of course, she’d be nowhere if Ian Taggart hadn’t shown up on her doorstep with a job and a place to be. He’d asked for a meeting the day after the Army had given her CO a slap on the wrist and told her to suck it up. She’d been ready to shove it all up someone’s ass and then Big Tag had told her he had a way out for her. He’d told her she wasn’t the only good soldier who’d run up against politics and power and gotten her ass handed to her because of it. It happened all the time. To women and men.

  Six months later she was in Dallas and had a new purpose. Sure her partner was a Euro weirdo, but his wife was all kinds of awesome, and honestly, Liam O’Donnell might be smarter than she gave him credit for. The office was nice and the pay was way better than the Army. She liked taking down douchebag corporate spies. They were way less clever than they thought they were.

  And there was Sanctum. She fucking loved Sanctum. Sometimes she thought her life hadn’t truly begun before she’d found Sanctum. She’d been married for three years and not once had she felt like a sexual creature. Walking the floor of Sanctum had changed all of that.

  “Have fun.” She avoided calling him Dad again.

  “You know Hank is getting hell because he’s your brother. He’s working under your old CO and he’s catching hell for your shenanigans.”

  “Well, tell Hank to fuck the major and everything should be fine. After all, that’s where I went wrong. If Hank spreads his legs, it should go well for him. And Dad, fuck you, too.” She slammed the phone down.

  “Now that seemed like an unpleasant conversation.” Liam O’Donnell was standing in her doorway, leaning against the jamb. He wasn’t an unattractive man, but somehow he came across as an authoritative figure, and not the kind of man she might try to boff. Not that she would. He had a wife who was twenty kinds of awesome. And she didn’t do married guys, as the major had discovered.

  She’d been the wife in that scenario. She wasn’t putting another woman through that kind of pain.

  “It was nothing. My father is coming into town. I thought I would set up a meeting because of the bio connection. Turns out to not be as strong as you would think. So hey, I’ll spend that weekend hanging at Sanctum. No trouble.”

  “Your birthday?”

  She wished he didn’t know that. “Not a big deal. Last year I spent it listening in on some dipshits who thought they would bomb the US embassy in Singapore. All in all, getting some impact play in will be a better way to spend the day.”

  Maybe she would even give in and have sex. She’d held back because she was still getting a lay of the land, so to speak. She’d played a bit with Kai but always knew he had an eye for someone else. Lately she’d been bottoming for a homicide detective she had a lot in common with. Detective Heath Neilson was good with a flogger and gave her what she needed for the most part, but she hadn’t slept with him. They’d been playing for the better part of a month and she knew the time was coming that she had to make a decision.

  She wasn’t sure which way to go. She knew she should give in and take what she could. It had been over a year, and a girl needed to get a little something something, but still she held back. She wasn’t sure why. Erin liked the detective. He simply didn’t move her. Not that anyone moved her, but the older she got the more she wondered what it would feel like to have that spark.

  “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” Liam walked into her office. “We’re having a party for you this weekend at Sean’s new place. I believe you’ll find he’s serving up a decadent pot roast with potatoes and carrots followed by Italian Cream Cake.”

  Her favorites. She wasn’t sure she liked how her heart twisted at the thought. No one made her favorites. She’d been lucky her brothers loved pot roast. Of course, she’d always been told by her father that she ate far too much of it. “How did you know?”

  He shrugged slightly. “You talked to Avery and she listened. Do you remember her asking about your favorite foods? She’s got a list now. I think you’ll be happy with your presents, too.”

  She was not going to fucking cry. Not at all. She wasn’t going to tell the man that it had been years and years since anyone had recognized her birthday, had bought her a present. Her father hadn’t believed in them. Not for her or her brothers. Their birthdays had been marked with a trip to the gun range at an appropriate age, and tests on weaponry every year thereafter.

  “You don’t have to do that. It’s cool.”

  He lowered himself into the chair in front of her desk. “I think you’ll find my wife enjoys a good party. After all, look what’s going on here today. Damn, but that smells good.”

  She breathed in and sighed. “What is that man cooking? When they told me they were having a baby shower, I thought it would be cake and punch you would probably spike.”

  Li winked her direction. “Oh, I’ve already spiked the punch, love. Ain’t Irish without a bit of whiskey. And Sean doesn’t believe in desserts. He’s a pushy busybody, but Grace knows that well. She announced she was throwing Alex and Eve a baby shower and would buy some chips and dips and stuff, and Little Tag’s food-snob heart couldn’t handle it.”

  Now there was a woman who knew how to handle her man. “So now we’re getting all kinds of good stuff. Did I say thank you to Avery for going shopping with me? I’m afraid I don’t know much about buying baby stuff. I’ve got some nephews but I don’t see them often.”

  “I get the feeling you don’t see a lot of your family at all, and for good reason.”

  Because they were douche nozzles and she’d never once fit in. Because she didn’t go home for holidays anymore since her ex-husband was still welcome. He’d cheated on her, but he was an Army buddy of her brother’s and that meant more than blood to him. “Hey, it’s all cool.”

  Li’s eyes narrowed. “One of these days, you’re going to want to talk and you should know I’ll be ready. Or Avery. You’re part of our family now, Erin.”

  Take one bullet for a dude. “It wasn’t a big deal, Li. You’re my partner. I saw he had a gun.”

  “And you jumped in front of me,” Li pointed out.

  It had been their second assignment together. It had been a nothing job, but at the end the asshole who’d sold his company’s new software design to a rival had taken exception to getting caught. Unluckily for her, asshole corporate spy had been packing and tried to take his anger out on her partner. She’d seen him going for a piece and jumped Li to get him out of the way. Now she had another scar on her shoulder and apparently a friend for life.

  He was like an overgrown Irish bulldog. Did Ireland have bulldogs? Maybe if she let him take the next bullet he would stop acting like her big brother.

  Wouldn’t that hurt?

  “Hey, gorgeous.” Avery stepped into the office.

  This was what she got here. At any time of the day, someone would stop in and want to chat. She wasn’t sure how much she liked it. It was easier to deal with at Sanctum. At Sanctum she had her place. She could let those walls drop because she was a sub at Sanctum. Here she was Erin, and she wasn’t sure she could handle all the mushy crap these people did.

  Even if she kind of craved it.

  She’d learned that the world kicked a girl when she asked for too much. She could like Li and Avery all right, but she couldn’t let them in.

  Li stood up and walked to his wife. “I’ll let you get back to work. The party’s in twenty minutes. Let’s hope Ian’s back by then. Could you make sure we’ve got restraints ready?”

  Avery’s eyes widened. “Restraints? I thought this was going to be a kid-friendly party.”

  Apparently Avery hadn’t heard the news. “Oh, it’s not fun restraints. It’s ‘we’ve got a spy in our midst’ restraints. Turns out mousy Phoebe is some kind of plant.”

  “What are your thoughts on that?” Liam asked. “Big Tag is thinking she works for The Collective.”

  Erin had been pondering the situation all morning. “I don’t know about that. If I had to bet I would s
ay she’s Agency. She’s perfect, man. I didn’t see her and I worked counter for years. She’s been flawlessly trained. From what Adam’s said, she hasn’t touched a single system she shouldn’t have. She’s been dug in like a tick, waiting for something. The Collective would want more than that. But the Agency, well, they like to play some deep games.”

  Li nodded. “That’s what I was thinking, too. I was wondering if Ten Smith might not want someone watching Big Tag to make sure he doesn’t get into something he shouldn’t.”

  “We get into shit we shouldn’t all the time.” It was one of the best things about McKay-Taggart.

  “That’s me point.” He took his wife’s hand. “I’ve got me own test for Miss Phoebe. I don’t think she’s the hardened operative Big Tag imagines she is. If you don’t mind leaving some restraints in the conference room, I would appreciate it. The last time he called he was stopping for ice cream and then coming this way. Phoebe’s drugged so it should be easy to get her down.”

  Like it wouldn’t have been if she’d been awake. “Will do, boss.”

  Thirty minutes later she was sipping on some punch she’d stolen and wondering about Phoebe. She hadn’t been allowed to interrogate her. That was kind of a bummer. It had been a long time since she’d been allowed to torture the info out of someone. Apparently, despite the whole spy thing, PTSD Jesse still wanted some of that, so Erin was relegated to hanging with a bunch of women she had no idea how to connect with.

  There was gorgeous Grace, with her hunky food-snob hubby, and Charlotte Taggart, who looked like she could throw down with some torture herself. There was Serena Dean-Miles, who probably did a shit ton of laundry since she was married to two dudes. No idea how she handled that one. Except Adam was practically a chick, so maybe it was okay. Then there was Eve. She was cool and precise. Super smart, but she didn’t try to hide it all behind a wall of tough-chick attitude. She would bet Eve McKay never tried to hide how smart she was from anyone.

  But then Eve McKay hadn’t been raised by a man who didn’t value her in any way.

  Grace announced they would be opening presents in a few minutes and Erin took that as her cue to sneak away. It was too weird. She’d helped in restraining a prisoner not half an hour earlier and now she was surrounded by babies and being served appetizers. Grace had promised something called tenderloin bruschetta would be out in a few minutes, but Erin needed a time-out.

  She snuck back to her office and closed the door. Sometimes she wondered if this was the right place for her. She liked the job and all but these people…

  They would make her soft. They would make her want what they had. Family. Home. Peace.

  She’d learned a long time ago that none of that was for her.

  She sank into her chair and stared at the monitor for a moment. What was she doing? She should have taken the real mercenary job she’d been offered. Guy Ferland didn’t have the same problems with sending women into combat the Army had. He would have put her on the front lines and then…what? She could play soldier and wait for a bullet to take her out and hope that dying in the line of duty was enough to please her daddy?

  Shit. She had some serious fucking issues.

  The ground shook slightly and Erin got to her feet. What the hell had that been? She stopped and listened. It sounded like a chopper had buzzed the building. Fucking news crews. Didn’t they know how damn dangerous that was?

  “Erin!”

  Was that Li? She opened her office door in time to see Li running down the hall, followed by Jesse, who was carrying Phoebe. She’d come out of her drugged stupor okay it seemed. So Big Tag had a light hand with the tranquilizers.

  “What?” Erin asked Li. She was still surprised they’d brought a spy back to the office. “What the hell is she still doing here? Don’t we have a shallow grave for her or something? I thought she’d be fertilizing Big Tag’s trees by now.”

  Phoebe struggled in Jesse’s arms. “You have to let me go. He won’t play around.”

  “Who?” Jesse looked down at her, his face more fierce than Erin could remember the kid ever looking. “Tell me who the hell is about to burst in those doors, Phoebe.”

  “You have to let me go,” Phoebe pleaded.

  Something was happening and it didn’t look like it was good. Erin looked over at Li, whose jaw was tightly set.

  “Erin, can you lock her in?” Jesse asked.

  Were her people on the way? Had Erin been wrong? Surely the Agency wouldn’t come for her in broad daylight? That wasn’t how they worked. They would burn her if she got made and move on. She opened the door. The sooner they got spy girl out of the way, the better they could deal with the situation. “Of course. Throw the princess in there. I promise she’ll have nowhere to go.”

  “Don’t do this, Jesse. Please let me talk to him,” Phoebe begged.

  Jesse dumped her on Erin’s couch and walked away, locking the door after him. It was a dick move. She kind of totally respected him for it. Hadn’t known the kid had it in him.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Li asked.

  Jesse checked the knob again, ensuring it would stay locked. “I think the Agency is about to attack the office.”

  Fuck all. The day was about to get interesting. Who the hell was Harry Potter-loving Phoebe Graham that the Agency would risk Big Tag’s wrath like this? Her brain was working overtime. They wouldn’t do this for a mere asset. No. She was someone important.

  “The bloody Agency?” Li’s voice went deep. “Are you telling me that a Special Forces unit working for the CIA is about to walk into the office?”

  Jesse reached for the SIG Sauer in his shoulder holster. “I’m afraid they aren’t going to walk in. I think they’re going to try to take Phoebe without giving themselves away, and I won’t let it happen.”

  Okay, so PTSD had gone insane. “Dude, we can’t attack an American military unit.”

  “I’m not attacking. I’m defending.” Jesse strode down the hall and into the main office. It was quiet at the time. Everyone was in the back either working or getting their party on. “Get the doors locked.”

  Li was moving to the office doors as all hell broke loose. Erin watched in equal parts horror and excitement as a booted foot kicked open the doors. There had to be seven or eight of them, all clad in black from head to toe. They were serious about protecting their identities. Each soldier was wearing a black balaclava and tactical goggles.

  Damn it had been too long since she’d been in a room full of dudes trying to take her out. That got her heart pumping. It thudded in her chest and made her feel alive. She stared at the one who’d kicked in the door. Six foot three and broad as the day was long. She couldn’t tell a damn thing about him, but he was hot.

  Her father was wrong. She wasn’t the distraction. They were. Big gorgeous soldiers who tossed a flashbang her way.

  This was going to be so much fun.

  “Bloody fucking hell!” Li yelled before tackling her.

  She hit the floor as the world exploded around her. Did Li honestly think this was her first rodeo? The big Irishman hit hard and her bones ached, but the rest of her was already coming to life. Nothing like a goddamn explosion to perk up her day. Even the smoke was kind of welcome. The acrid, awful scent reminding her of the good old days when every day was a fight she wasn’t sure she could win. Her ears were ringing and she might have blown an eardrum, but this was a fight she was ready for.

  Li yelled something her way, but she couldn’t quite hear it. She was certain it was something like be careful, but careful was for pussies. This was a knock-down, drag-out and Jesse was fucking right. They thought they could come into her home? They thought they could roll a fucking flashbang her way?

  “Are you okay?” The big guy who’d kicked in the door was standing over her. He shouted the words and held a hand out.

  Aw, the kid hadn’t wanted to hurt the girl, had he? She gave him her biggest and best doe eyes and reached up as though the poor little woman coul
dn’t manage to stand on her own.

  “Let’s get you out of here.” He got down close so she could hear him. “Run back to your office, sweetheart. As soon as we get our target, we’ll be gone. I don’t want you hurt.”

  Smoke was wafting through the room, but she could see he had the most perfectly sculpted lips she’d ever seen on a man. She kind of wanted to pull his face down and lick that fat bottom lip and offer to do him on the conference table.

  Perhaps the adrenaline rush of battle made her react differently than it did others. She was sure the resident shrink would tell her she was a total perv for getting hot as hell the minute combat broke out, but Kai was also a perv, so it was okay.

  The minute his hands touched hers and she got the advantage, she flipped him on his back, perfectly satisfied with the way his big, hot body bounced off the floor. It was grand chaos all around her and now she’d caught one of them. He’d broken formation to save the girl from the big bad smoke, and now he was going to pay the price.

  God, she hoped he was as hot as he seemed. He was Agency, so he was probably ex-Special Forces. She was envisioning a hot silver fox who might want to play with a slightly younger woman.

  He frowned up at her as she got fully to her feet. Yeah, now they were going to play. His legs kicked up and his body twisted and he was on his feet again in a show of pure masculine strength.

  That did something for her too.

  “Tennessee Smith!” Jesse shouted out the name.

  Her combatant grimaced as though knowing he’d been caught. She couldn’t see his eyes but she could practically feel them rolling.

  She glanced to her left and realized she had to stop playing with the pretty man. Anger flared through her system as she saw Li being forced to his knees, a fucking M4A1 pointed at his head.

  It was one thing to play some war games and another thing entirely to point a gun at her partner’s head. No one got away with that.