The cab stopped in front of my apartment and I gave the cab driver a ten dollar bill and told him to keep the change. Getting back up the stairs was more of a challenge for my sore abdomen than coming down. I took it slow, step by step.
“Hey Lex,” Anna jumped off the couch as I opened the door. She was sitting on the couch with her legs up on the coffee table and a bowl of green peppers in her lap. “You scared the shit out of me. I came home and you weren’t here but then I found your appointment schedule on the breakfast bar and realized where you went. Shit, Bandita, you should have told me that you had an appointment I would have come with you.”
“Thanks Anna, sorry I thought you would still have class. I have to get a new cell phone, I lost it around the time I was attacked. I appreciate that you want to help me, but I need to do things on my own.”
“I hear you Lex,” she nodded her head understanding my need for independence. “What did the doc say?”
“A lot. He’s pretty intense, I told him a bit about my life and then he goes on these psychoanalyzing fits and the crazy part is, he has me pegged.”
“Shit! Bandita, it sounds intense. I can’t imagine it,” she said and it looked like a shiver rolled up her spine.
“It’s not easy but my doctor’s easy to talk to, it’s easier to open up than I thought, even though some subjects are still hard to approach.”
“How are things with you?” I asked Anna, not wanting the conversation to be only about me. I know my situation hit her hard.
Anna’s quiet for a moment. “You remember that guy Nathan from Kauai?”
“Ah, yeah, I told you I saw him in court the day of Luc’s bail hearing and he came by the hospital when I fainted.”
“Right,” she says in a matter of fact kind of way.
“What is it Anna? Just spill it.”
“Fine. He stopped by the apartment about a week ago. He said he wanted to make sure I was okay and asked if I’d seen Luc around. I told him I was fine and that I hadn’t seen Luc and he left. Then today he stopped by again while you were out and asked if I was okay. I asked him to come in,” she says pausing with a wide grin. I’m not sure where she’s going with this, but she seems flustered and it’s very unlike her.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know, he was flirting a bit,” she said with a giddy tone. I’m not sure I have ever seen Anna giddy. I didn’t know Anna knew how to do giddy.
“Honestly, I’m not surprised Anna,” I replied. I had a hunch he would be into her.
“Uh, Bandita, did you forget that this guy blew me off in Kauai?”
“No, you were drunk in Kauia and he’s a decent guy. Dylan would never have wanted to sleep with me if things weren’t exactly right, maybe it’s the same with him,” I suggested looking at her radiant smile. She popped a sliver of green pepper in her mouth and stops mid-bite, it looks like she’s mulling over my words. I get that it’s hard for her to understand because with hook-ups guys didn’t care what state you were in.
“Anyway, he asked how you were feeling. I told him that you came back home and he already knew,” she said raising and lowering her brows in an insinuating way.
I must have looked confused because then she said, “He reminded me that he’s national security, he’s like an international spy, he can find things out,” her eyes blared with excitement in her tone.
“Okay,” I grinned. Anna had it bad on all accounts.
“Shit! Lex, there’s something about him.” She shifted her legs off the coffee table and pulled them in front of her, all fidgety. “Every part of my body crackles to life when he’s standing close to me and I think he knows it.”
“So what happened?” I asked not understanding the reason for Nathan’s visit.
“Nothing, just flirting, I can’t shake the feeling that I know him though,” she said looking to me for an answer. I had no clue how or why she would know him.
“I don’t know Anna, I met him for the first time in Kauai,” I shrugged my shoulders.
“I know and he apologized to me for any misunderstanding he had with you, he didn’t want to hurt you, but he had to do his job,” she explained almost defensively. There was nothing to defend. He was a good guy I agreed. When she spoke about him her emerald eyes lit up and I was sure Anna might have her first crush. She had been excited about a guy before but she always quashed those feelings before they could get out of control. Right now Anna looked electric.
“I get it Anna, he wanted to find out if I had the goods on Luc, which I didn’t. I know he was also watching out for me. I see it, I get it,” I reassure her and she smiles happily back at me. If she does really like him I get that she would want the two important people in her life to get along.
“Okay, anyway he asked if I would mind if he stopped by again to check in on me and I told him that would be nice. It stung when he rejected me in Kauai after I blatantly invited him into my suite for sex, but the way his eyes dance when he looks at me tells me that it wasn’t a complete rejection. I think you’re right Lex, maybe he turned me down because I was wasted and he was a gentleman, you’re right Lex, SQUEE,” she giggled like a school girl. “I’m not used to his type, but I’m definitely willing to find out more about him.”
“Anna I am so truly happy for you,” I touched my hand to my heart happy that my friend was also moving away from the poor lifestyle choices we had made in the past.
“Lex, since your attack I’ve had a life overhaul. I sit in the apartment feeling lonely, missing you and wondering where we went wrong. When I’m not here I’m either in class or at work. I’m on guy detox, except for Nate of course.”
“Nate?” my brows crunch.
“Nathan, I’ve been calling him Nate in my head it sounds cute,” she says with a giddy tone. I hope he’ll return the feelings because she needs a solid guy in her life. “Besides, those days of hooking up are over for me, I need to get serious. I’m even thinking of getting some help for my own demons,” she said quietly staring down at her hands. I know Anna had a difficult childhood, more difficult than mine and there’s something to be said for therapy. We all have parts of us that need to be healed.
“Honestly, Anna I’m glad to hear you say that you’re finally willing to take the plunge. My own head and heart are so twisted up right now, I can’t think straight. What I do know is that I don’t want to finish law school, I want a change of direction. I think I chose law school because of some sick attachment I had to my father and wanting to make him proud because he’s a lawyer and I wanted to continue some family legacy,” I pause and snort softly. “I now realize that I haven’t seen him in fourteen years and nothing I will do can get his attention. I almost died and not even a phone call or a hospital visit. This whole attack really opened my eyes. I’ve been making bad decisions and I’ve been hoping for things that will never happen. Having realized this I want to do something for me, law school was never for me. How do I justify throwing all the hard earned money I used to pay for law school away?” I asked Anna who was staring back at me with a frown.
“Lexi honey, you are only twenty-five years old, if you are going to make a crazy life change this is the time to do it. You don’t want to be forty-five years old living a life you hate and working in a job you despise,” Anna replied making a lot of sense.
“I feel like I’ve been living my life waiting to feel a part of something and now I worry that may never happen. I want a psychology degree. Ash has been helping so many people over the years, maybe it was therapy for her… I want to help others too, I think I will be good at it and it will make me feel good. I want to feel productive. I should do what feels right for me, right Anna? I mean I could apply for scholarships,” I rambled as I tried to justify my drastic change of direction. I shifted a little on the couch and winced from the pain that the small movement caused.
“Lex, you don’t need to explain yourself to me, you know that, you need to do what feels right for you. Your childhood was basically r
obbed from you, you have a right to do what will make you happy. I’m glad you’re thinking clearly.” Her lips pulled up at the corner and she leaned forward to give me a consoling hug. Her understanding meant the world to me.
I pulled away and stared at her with appreciation. “I’d want to get a master’s degree in social work or psychology. I think if I help people gain understanding of their life it will give meaning to my loss and heart break. Law school doesn’t give me that satisfaction,” I sighed.
“Hmm, I have to admit that going to class won’t be the same without you, but I’m glad you’re figuring things out,” she said rubbing her hand on my shoulder. I really felt like I needed her support in that moment and she was there offering it in her loving way.
“You're awesome,” I grinned.
“Oh stop it, Bandita,” she smacked my shoulder and we both broke out into a fit of laughter with me hanging on to my aching stomach.
“Well, I still need to finish the year off, it’s good it's reading week this week and we have a break from school because I still have some serious catching up to do.”
“I love you, Bandita and I’m sure you are going to pull through this with flying colors just like all the other hurdles that have been thrown your way,” she said offering her warm words. Her faith in me meant everything.
“I love you too, Anna, and I’m hoping you’re right.” It’s hard to hide the uneasiness in my tone, Anna knows me too well. I’m grateful that I don’t feel the need to hide my emotions from her. Now everything is up in the air and for some reason I’m actually finding it refreshing.
Chapter 14
The Harsh Truth
Dylan
I wish I could spend all my time making the last seven years up to Lexi, but I know she needs space and I have to prove a few things before I gain back her trust. I got back to my condo and cracked open a beer. As I sat on my couch I wallowed in a large dose of self-pity, I would soon have to come clean to Lexi and my medical degree was once again on the line. My cell phone began to ring and Brad's name came up on the screen.
“Hey man,” I said picking up the phone.
“Hey, how are things going?” Brad asked, his tone ebbed with concern. This isn’t a touch base kind of phone call, he’s fishing for information.
“Things could be better,” I sighed rubbing hard at my forehead. Things are just too messed up right now and as much as I am trying to put a strong front up for Lexi I feel so unsure about the important parts of my life which means her and my degree.
“I’ve heard…Darian came to me, he said you were mixed up with the mob, is that true?” Brad asked accusingly.
“Remind me to thank Darian,” I answered sarcastically.
“Don’t be mad man, you know his loyalty is to my family, and honestly he’s a good guy, he’s concerned about you,” he drawled.
“How are you doing? Does it feel good to be back in NYC?” I asked hoping to change the subject.
“Don’t change the subject, but we’ll get to that. What are you into Dylan?” he asked with a serious tone. I know he’s concerned and that he has my back. I don’t think he could help this time and I don’t want anyone else getting caught up in this mess.
“It’s not what you’re thinking that’s for sure. I’m not gambling or anything,” I replied a little too defensively. Brad and I got caught up in some gambling back at Harvard, but that wasn’t the worst part. It’s what happened because of the gambling that got out of control.
“So enlighten me Dylan.” Damn him, for being pushy. I know I have to spill because he won’t let this go. Brad can be very determined when he wants something.
“Luc Blanchard, beat the shit out of Lexi,” my voice was low and harsh as I ground my jaw trying to get the words out.
“Lexi, Lexi?” he asked knowing who Lexi was, since on the rare occasion I brought her up.
“Yeah man,” I responded with a somber tone.
“Look Dylan, that sucks, I know how much you care about her, but stay away from him, it will be better for both of you. Darian mentioned that the Blanchard family doesn’t play by any rules, they can be as ruthless and vicious as the mob can get.” Brad’s tone was ebbed with a familiar warning. Darian also tried to warn me and yet Lexi and I found ourselves with an even deeper connection now that I attacked Luc.
“That’s kind of the problem, I attacked him at the hospital and I was put on a temporary leave and now the asshole is charging me with assault. He thinks he’s got the upper hand or something, he’s making it into some sort of competition for Lexi and it’s just fucked up. I can’t imagine she would go back to him after what he’s done. She was pregnant Brad…..he killed the baby,” I explained wiping my hand harshly over my face. Brad was a good friend and we’d been through a lot together, in fact more than what some people go through in a lifetime.
“Shit, Dylan, I’m sorry to hear that she’s hurting so bad, but you confronting this Luc…well..it won’t end well,” his voice turns soft and I know he really cares. No matter how irresponsible he was when he was younger or how many times he had fucked up, Brad was a good solid guy at heart.
“I know, but I can’t sit here and do nothing either,” I replied taking a swig of my beer. I walked over to the couch and fell back.
“Take care man, I will try to think of something,” Brad said trying to reassure me. Of course this was a bad situation and the way out had not been made clear yet.
“Okay. Bye,” I said closing the phone. Looking around my empty place made me feel just as empty. When I came home over a month ago my plan was to win Lexi back and maybe live here with her, I didn’t expect for things to get shot to hell this way.
Brad and I made enough money together that I didn’t need to worry how to survive financially, but the money had never been that important to me, becoming a doctor had always been my passion, ever since I was a child. If that fucker Blanchard thinks he will take it away from me he’s wrong.
As I wallowed in my problems my phone beeped. It’s a message from Darian with Luc’s address and a small note that says don’t be stupid. What do I do with this now? Suddenly I feel useless sitting on the couch. That French prick thinks he can still have Lexi, and it’s not happening. It’s not that I don’t feel the guilt of what happened six years ago back at Harvard, it’s more of the realization that this guy has done much worse and is dangerous. The reality is that I may have made a mistake as a teenager, but today I consider myself a responsible man. A man that is better suited to give Lexi the life she’s always dreamed of. As I think the words, I realize that I know exactly what Lexi has always wanted and I know with everything in me that I can give it to her.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins, my heart begins to thump hard and strong and I crack my neck, ready to cause some harm to the asshole. I try to tell myself that I’m not a violent person, that justice will be served one day, but I’m too pumped up to back down now. His place is only two blocks away and I walk quickly through the dark streets, a man on a mission, a man wanting redemption for what he’s lost, for what Luc’s taken from me, from Lexi. I make it into his condominium building by-passing security when an older woman walks through the door. I hold the door open for her and smile. She must be in her seventies and she starts a conversation with me. “Cold evening isn’t it dear?” she smiled.
“Yes, I think they mentioned it’s one of the coldest February’s on record,” I answered urging the conversation forward and making it look like I was her guest in front of the doorman. I head up the elevator with her, and got off on Luc’s floor. My need for revenge was so strong that I was taken aback by my own need for violence. I knocked hard, yelling Blanchard’s name. Darian’s stern voice mimicked in my head, ‘he’s not a person you want to get involved with.’ The door flew open and Luc stared at me warily. I flew my fist straight into his face. No holding back, no remorse. He fell forward as his hands grabbed his face holding his nose. He got back up slowly and looked at me, with a slow grin eruptin
g on his sorry face. The dangerous and ruthless man I remembered from Thanksgiving emerged. .
“You think you’re a brave man?” he spat out with his raspy accent.
“At least I can call myself a man. After what you did to Lexi, they should castrate you or worse,” I answered as I made my way into his apartment. “This is where you beat the shit out of her isn’t it?” I asked, gazing around his fancy apartment. As my eyes left him he threw his fist out aiming for my left jawbone, luckily I was fast enough to duck and avoid the blow. He dropped his hand and I lunged forward getting in a good punch right across his cheek. His head was thrown sideways, and I suddenly realized that I was being an asshole just like him. Fighting has never been my thing, but I had to set this asshole straight. “Is this where you kicked the shit out of her asshole?” I asked pointing to the floor. My blood was pumping so hard that I could practically feel it in my ears, I didn’t remember ever feeling so enraged about someone in my life.
Something dark moved across his features and I thought what looked like remorse crossed over his face.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her…not that I owe you an explanation,” he replied, the fight in him had clearly dissipated as it had in me.
“Do you think by charging me with assault it will make her want you more? Because let me tell you something, she was fragile because of her past and what you did broke her. She will never want you.” My voice was raised and I could feel my face reddening, but my anger would not be transferred into a need to hurt him.
“You are right, I knew she was broken, I know I broke her, but I love her, and I won’t walk away. She’s my wife I made promises to her.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. You lied to her, you put her in danger and you will continue to put her in danger. I know who your family is and what it is that you do. Do you have no conscience? Lexi is a good person. I don’t know what she saw in you, but she always sees the good, she’s always so forgiving and for you to take advantage of that right now is wrong.” I took a few steps back and ran my fingers through my hair, while trying to collect my thoughts. I don’t know what I wanted to accomplish by coming here, but the fight in me had gone. Now I was hoping to reason with this fucker so he would leave her alone.
Twisted Love Page 9
