“I know Alexis is perfect, that is why I will not let her go. I know what I did was wrong and I will never let it happen again. I will never touch alcohol and drugs, but you need to understand that I will not back away from her. As it is my family has threatened to hurt her,” he said shaking his head. Once he made the comment my eyes widened and he looked as if he regretted his admission.
“What? Your family is threatening her?”
“Yes. She needs to stay married to me, that way she can’t testify against me at my trial, they will only bring her as a character witness and she can only say good things, otherwise my family is threatening to kill her.” His voice was pained when he said the words. If felt like the earth had tilted its axis and I took a step back.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Because CSIS wasn’t only following me, they got information on my entire family and as much as I’ve tried to convince my father that she knows nothing, that I lied to her the whole time, he doesn’t believe me. He doesn’t understand what a smart lawyer would do with me, if she wasn’t in it for the money and the Blanchard name,” he snorted at the absurdity. His father sounds like an asshole.
“That is fucked up…” I paused. Lexi was in more danger than I had realized. “Tell your family that she will testify and then you leave her alone.”
“I can’t do that, I get you have some attachment to her, but she is my wife, I will protect her, I will take care of her,” he insisted, angering me further even though I knew I couldn’t do anything and the thought made me feel hopeless.
“She doesn’t want you,” I spat out, he needed to understand at least that.
“Did she tell you that?” he asked, surprising me.
“Not in so many words, but she’s scared of you, I know her,” I trailed off again, knowing full well that Lexi wouldn’t want me to talk for her. She would need to face this guy herself and get rid of him. The question is, would she?
“What can I do to keep her safe?” I felt weak asking this asshole the question, but he knew his family and what they were capable of more than I did.
“I..” he emphasized, “Will keep her safe, not you…I have people watching her place, people that are not loyal to my father. I will make a deal with him that she will testify and then he needs to leave her alone.”
“Can you trust his word?” I asked, because from what I understood from Darian, there were no laws of respect for family with the Blanchard’s as there were with other mob families.
“A word is a word, to my father his word is everything, if he says something, it stands.”
“What about my assault charge?” I asked feeling like the weak one now.
“I will drop it, if you leave Lexi alone,” he smirked thinking he had the upper hand.
I walked toward the apartment door and then turned around. “Never Blanchard, I will lose my position as a doctor and I will never leave her alone, get that straight,” I said, turning the knob on the door then opening it and flinging it closed behind me. Smug fucker.
Chapter 15
Slut vs. Player
Lexi
It’s dark outside. After spending a few hours at my desk catching up on school work, my body feels tense and tired. Memories of my talk with Luc flick in and out of my mind. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about him after he proved to be so ruthless, but the memory of him the night he lost control and beat me is ingrained in my mind. I now understand that the mix of alcohol and drugs made him unravel into a mad man. Dr. Newman asked me to work through my feelings for Dylan and Luc but it is easier said than done.
My eyes grow heavy and I want to get into bed. Dylan said he would stop by tonight and I didn’t have it in me to push him away, not after he changed his residency for me and had stuck around since. Och! I feel frustrated thinking of these two men that mean something so different to me. Dylan was my everything until he suddenly wasn’t. And Luc, well, Luc just got me.
Why am I trying to justify Luc’s behavior anyway? It makes me feel crazy. It’s like I’ve developed some sick attachment to the fact that he dreaded turning into his father like I dreaded turning into my mother. I shouldn’t compare the two of us. His crazy behavior was on a level of its own, I wish I wouldn’t feel sympathetic toward him, maybe it’s my guilt eating away at me. After all, I misled him to believe that I was pregnant with his child and he married me. Then I revealed my lies when he was at his lowest point. Yes, he lied to me too, about his family and his occupation, but I can’t help but wonder if my lies were just as bad. I lead him on, I let him believe that I would one day love him, even though I told him I wasn’t capable of committing. I don’t understand what he saw in me, why he spent the effort trying to get me to commit. He’s stubborn when he wants something, I will give him that. I shouldn’t be thinking of Luc, especially since Dylan will be here any minute.
There’s a light knock on the front door and I know it’s him. I slowly get up from my chair and a knife cutting pain slices through my stomach.
“I’ll get it Lex,” Anna called out from her room and I’m thankful because at the rate I was moving he would probably leave.
I slowly made my way to the front door. Anna had already let him in.
“Hi,” I said feeling my heart flutter in my chest. Is it possible to love two men at the same time? How can I even think that after what Luc did?
“Hi,” Dylan responded with a crooked grin.
“I’ll be in my room,” Anna mumbled bouncing on her heel out of the room. Is the palpable heat in the room obvious to her as well?
“Come, have a seat,” I said motioning for him to follow me to the family room.
I took a seat, slowly leaning back into the couch and Dylan removed his coat and took the seat beside me. The situation made me uneasy, my judgment got clouded when he was near and the way his eyes gazed at me, it was almost like he could see right through me.
“Can I get you a drink?” I asked, needing to say anything to break the silence.
“I’m good, relax, it looks like you're still in pain.” His lips turned down. My eyes dropped to his lips, but I forced myself to look away before he noticed. As usual I felt like I had a split personality around him. I was torn between wanting to rip his clothes off, and feeling like we shouldn’t be together.
“I want to make things up to you Lex,” he said placing his hand on my thigh. My eyes turned round when I saw his skin was cut open and his knuckles were bloody. “Shit. I’m sorry,” he removed his hand quickly almost as if he had forgotten he was hurt.
“What happened?” I asked, feeling like my stomach was dropping out from under me, Dylan was not a fighter and I could only imagine who could have gotten him so fired up.
“I don’t know what to say,” he muttered. “I’ve had this anger brewing inside me since I saw you get off that ambulance and knowing that he did this to you, that he did this to us,” he nodded his head, his eyes slowly swelling with redness.
“Oh, Dylan, Dylan…” I said rubbing my hand through his hair. I thought after the incident in the hospital where he pounced on Luc, that he had got his anger out. I never remembered Dylan as a fighter. Although I could understand why he felt so enraged when it came to Luc. A part of me wanted to hurt him too.
“After I threw the first punch and the second I realized that it was wrong….I, uh, spoke to him Lex…” he stuttered a bit. And something dark moved over his features.
“What did you say?” I asked, my eyes locked on his. My poor Dylan. My hands trembled knowing that what he was about to say wasn’t good.
“I told him to stay away from you… he said he can’t. He still wants you to be with him. He calls you his wife.” He shook his head with disgust, his head turned to the floor.
“Dylan…things are over with Luc.” I lifted his chin with my hand turning his head to mine so that we were eye to eye. Hoping with everything in me that I could convince him. He was hurting so badly and if I would put myself in his shoes I know how torn u
p I would feel.
“Are you sure, Lex? Because he thinks you will come back to him, he warned me to stay away from you.” His eyes continued to search mine with a sadness and longing that I could understand. His feelings for me in that moment were transparent in his crystal blue eyes and my own heart ached.
“I don’t want you to stay away Dylan, I know things aren’t over with Luc. I need to talk to him. I wanted to go see him and tell him to drop the charges against you… but the thought of going over there… I can’t bring myself to go back to that dreadful apartment,” I said, biting too hard on my lip, the words alone terrified me.
“Lex, are you kidding me?” He brushed my cheek with his thumb and I curved my head into his touch. “I don’t want you going there, I don’t need you to tell him anything for me. Please tell me you will stay away from him?” His voice was a painful plea, but I knew I had to do something where Luc was concerned. Dylan worked hard all his life for that medical degree and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew he lost it because of me.
“I can promise you that I won’t go back there Dylan, I can’t ever go back there,” my voice was low and pained. Dylan leaned forward to embrace me in a hug and I placed my chin on his shoulder. He continued our embrace for a moment longer. A moment where I felt safe in his arms, a moment that I felt at home.
“There was more to my visit Lex,” his voice dipped indicating a hint of warning. “His family needs you to testify at his trial. They’ve warned Luc that if you don’t they will come after you,” he explained hesitantly.
I flinch and my eyes widen. “Don’t be scared Lex, if I have to, I will hire someone to watch over you. He made it sound that if you testify they will leave you alone, he said he will talk to his father and extract a promise from him so that he agrees to leave you alone. In his world he said his father’s word sticks,” he explained looking terrified himself even though I think he was trying to sound strong and reassuring.
“Oh, Dylan I met his father, he’s evil incarnate, how do I know I can trust him?” I gasped.
“I honestly don’t know Lex, but I will keep you safe. I think it’s better you come stay with me. My condominium has a state of the art security system. I know it will piss Luc off, but I think it’s for the best.”
“Honestly, Dyl, I’ve only been home for a few days, this is a lot for me right now after everything that’s happened. Would it be okay if I take a little time to let this sink in? I feel like I’ve been living from one bad decision to the next and I think a part of the problem was that I didn’t take the time to look at all the aspects of my life and the repercussions of my actions. I need time to do that now, I’m kind of committed to getting my life back on track and decision making is a huge part of that.”
“Well I can’t argue with that reasoning now can I?” he grinned softly. “Although we need to be careful, he said his family threatened you, that’s not something we can take lightly.”
“I know, but from the sounds of it they need me to testify, so why would they hurt me if I need to get on a witness stand?” I said, hoping to convince him that I felt somewhat reassured by the fact that Luc’s family needed me on some level.
“You’re probably right Lex they need you now, but we will need to figure this safety thing out once the trial is over and I know we have a few things to work out before you come live with me. I told you baby steps and here I wanted to take a huge plunge,” he smiled looking a little guilty.
“Don’t feel bad, I know you want me safe,” I replied trying to reassure him. He pulled me in closer to him and I put my head on his chest listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart, we were silently comforting each other in a way that words could not.
He suddenly caressed the top of my head and ran his hand through my hair, I leaned into him more, enjoying the gesture. “Dylan you’ve always made everything I’ve gone through that much easier, knowing that I have you battling for me like you always have is comforting.”
“I always will Lex, I will always be here defending you and watching out for you.” He pulled his head back to stare deeply into my eyes, I felt lost in his eyes, his scent. My hand rubbed his thigh.
His eyes drifted to my hand. “I’m not going to let you shut me out again. I’ve spent the last seven years of my life trying to forget you, I can’t do it,” he said sternly looking down at me.
I didn’t know what to say or think in that moment. Dylan’s eyes were filled with love and worry and I was lost in him.
“Say something,” he said with a raspy tone along my ear sending delicious goose bumps through my body.
“I’m broken Dylan, I don’t know what to say. Look at me, I’ve spent the last seven years making mistake after bad mistake. You shouldn’t want me,” I spat out the words like venom. I couldn’t help how I felt, it would be easy for me to fall into his bed right now, but if I was going to do things right this time around, I had to be open about my feelings.
His silence made me uneasy, I removed my hand from his thigh and he brushed his hand along my lips. His eyes dropped to my lips and he gazed at them like they were the most delicious thing he’d seen.
“I won’t give up on you,” he answered softly. I couldn’t formulate an answer because the butterflies swarming in my stomach had rendered me speechless.
“Lex, there are some things you need to understand as to why I stayed away. It’s not that I didn’t want you, and I always thought about you…” he paused maybe considering his next words.
“Why Dylan, explain it to me, I need to understand, it hurt so much,” I confessed. He glared at me knowingly.
“I’m a jerk Lex,” he began. “I slept with half the female population at Harvard. No one ever matched up to you. I compared them all to you, but it still makes me an asshole,” he admitted looking directly at me, waiting for me to push him a way or maybe to say something hurtful. His blue eyes resembled storm clouds and I knew there was more to his story, his inner turmoil or demon was fighting to be released.
“You did?” I asked, my voice etched up a few octaves.
“I’m not proud of it. Shit. You think I’m a shit don’t you? I left you behind and fucked around and I’m the world’s biggest prick right now,” he chided himself. “Sorry Lex, I need to stand up,” he said removing his arm from around my shoulder. He seemed nervous and began to pace back and forth. “Do you want tea, I will make tea,” he asked then answered before I had a chance to respond. Then he darted off to the kitchen and turned the kettle on. If Dylan was making tea he must be dealing with something serious or bad. The thought of what it could be caused a roll of nausea to wash over me.
***
Dylan
I’ve confessed the lesser of my sins and she didn’t seem taken aback, I don’t understand. What was worse was that I felt like a knife was twisting in my chest and the thought of coming clean on my greater sin, after everything she had been through lately just didn’t seem right. To tell her what I’ve done….I shake my head. I can’t do it.
I know she needs to know the truth, especially after Blanchard kept her in the dark, but for the first time in seven years we are communicating like old times, sitting on a couch and chatting. I was scared that if I revealed my whole truth that this feeling we had together would end and I never wanted it to end.
“Uh, which cabinet is your tea?” I asked looking over to the couch. Shit!! I’ve made her nervous, she’s biting her nails.
“Cabinet on the right, next to the fridge.”
“Since when do you bite your nails?”
“Since you’re making me very nervous,” she rolled her eyes at me.
“Sorry, it just feels so damn good having you back in my life, sitting and hanging out with you like this, I don’t want it to end,” I said, admitting my worst fear. She has been open and honest with me about her feelings I needed to return the gesture.
“Why would it end Dylan? I don’t understand. If you think I’m freaked out because you revealed you’
re a player, I’m totally fine with it,” she replied nonchalantly. What? I’m confused.
My jaw dropped. “Come again?”
She inhaled a long deep breath, and muttered something I couldn’t hear then she began. “I messed around a lot Dylan. I tried to get you out of my system too.” As the words left her lips I couldn’t fathom what she was saying. The Lexi I left behind was pure and innocent.
“I was a female version of you from the sounds of it,” she snorted and I flinched at her words. Her expression growing more confused by the second. Yes, it was a double standard, I was a douche.
“What are you saying?” I asked, brows drawn together. I walked back to the family room and plopped down on the couch next to her, running both hands through my hair bracing myself.
“Exactly what you heard,” she replied with an edge of challenge in her tone, almost like she thought I would turn away from her. Never.
“You slept around a lot? Like how much?” I asked not believing her comparison to myself. I crossed my arms over my chest in a protective stance. This conversation was more awkward than I expected. She squared her shoulders and moved a few inches away from me.
“Do you really want the answer to that?” she snapped at me. I deserved that. I moved back too. I’m speechless. What looks like worry crosses over her face for a moment but then its gone and strong Lexi is back.
Then I realize I’m focusing on the wrong thing, I was more freaked out about her sleeping around than the real point. “You wanted me all this time?”
“What?” she squints.
“You heard me, answer,” I demanded, one side of my lip was tugged up in an attempt to return her challenge.
“I’m not answering you.” She lifted her chin in defiance, refusing to bare her feelings to me. Mmm, stubborn Lexi was back, the thought made my dick hard.
Twisted Love Page 10
