“Okay babe, go rest, you look tired, but I’ll be back,” I warned giving her a peck on the forehead.
“What? You’re going to leave?” she asks astonished. “We are far from done.”
“You’re right. I’m glad we agree on one thing Lexi. You remember that when you go to sleep, remember how we used to kiss, remember how you used to come hard on my mouth.”
“Dylan,” she raised her voice and reaches up to swat me on the chest but she couldn’t hide the flush on her face.
“I’m coming to pick you up tomorrow, you need to get out of this apartment and do something normal. We can talk more over dinner, something casual of course. I told you that we need to approach this with baby steps, I think we did good for tonight.” I flashed her a wide smile.
“What about my tea?” she pouted.
“Right.” I ran to the kitchen and brought her a cup of tea and placed it on the coffee table in front of her. Then I gave her a kiss on the lips this time. It was quick, I couldn’t linger if I was going to be able to leave.
She looked irritated but amused, and if I’m not mistaken, turned on.
“Dylan Priestley, you jerk,” she called out as I walked over to the bar stool to put on my coat.
“Lock the door behind me…I love you babe… have a good night sleep,” I said as I walked out the door, out of the corner of my eye I could see that her jaw was dropped and her perfect mouth was hanging in an O. Luc thought he would win her back, well fuck him, she was mine and she always had been. Watching her reaction to my touch tonight reassured me that the spark we’d always shared was still burning strong.
Chapter 16
My Fragmented Reality
Lexi
The sky was twilight blue as I stared out the window in my room thinking of Dylan and the promise in his eyes. He’s such a flirt, he makes me want to get lost in him forever. My eyes grow heavy and I fall asleep.
It’s a warm night and I decide to walk home from the university enjoying the warm weather. It’s almost nine o’clock but it’s not completely dark outside. There are many pedestrians walking down University Avenue even though most of the shops are closing now. My skin prickles, as I think about Luc. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen or heard from him. The sky darkens some more as I make my way to the apartment. Light rain drops fall from the sky, but the air is warm so I don’t shiver from the wetness. I knew I should have brought a jacket with me today. Suddenly I am grabbed from behind, large hands wearing dark leather gloves catch me from behind, it’s a man, I can tell by the size of the person.
“You listen here bitch,” he says with a raspy French accent. “You may have fucked my son over but you will not fuck my family over,” he warns. Then I feel cool metal pressed against my face. I turn my head enough so that I can see the person holding me in a vice grip. It’s Maurice Blanchard. Oh my! I need to run. I need to get away. I try to pull away but he’s too big and too strong. Then he pulls the trigger…
My eyes dart open and I wake up in a pool of sweat. Dylan’s words haunt me, Luc’s family views me as a threat. What am I supposed to do? How do I know that testifying will be enough? I met Maurice Blanchard, the man doesn’t have a forgiving bone in his body and knowing what he did to his own son, framing him and abusing him all his life is not reassuring. I’m suddenly consumed by fear, it seems ridiculous, but I feel scared to sleep alone in my own bed and I’m actually contemplating getting into bed with Anna, that or call Dylan. I can’t make up my mind, and my heart continues to beat rapidly in my chest. Dylan said baby steps so I climb out of bed and open Anna’s door quietly and slowly, and I slide into her warm bed. Thank goodness she isn’t naked because I know she sometimes has a tendency to sleep naked even when she’s alone.
“Lex?” she asked with a startled tone.
“It’s okay go back to sleep,” I murmured.
***
My eyes opened, and I felt disoriented for a minute and then realized that I was sleeping in Anna’s bed almost falling off since she was sprawled all over.
She opened one eye slowly clearly confused. “Lex are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry I had a bad dream and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Oh, what was the dream?” she asked with only one eye open still.
“Luc’s father came after me and then he pulled the trigger.”
Her second eye opened quickly and a remorseful concern became etched on her face. “Thank you for opening the other eye you looked a little scary,” I chuckled.
“Thanks,” she rolled her eyes and pulled the blankets up to her nose. “That sounds scary.”
“Yeah, Dylan went to see Luc yesterday and Luc told him that his family views me as a threat, and let’s be honest Anna, they're the mafia. Its kind of obvious what the mafia does with a threat.”
“Lex, don’t talk that way. I will talk to Nathan about this and see what he says. Maybe you should stay with Dylan, it may be safer for you.”
“Honestly, Anna, they are the mob. If they will want to get to me, it won’t matter where I am. Besides, Luc mentioned that they want me to testify at the trial, they see my testimony as important. So they should want me alive. Luc told Dylan that he will make his father promise not to hurt me once the trial is over,” as I say the words I know it sounds like a long shot. Luc's father couldn’t care less about Luc or his requests.
“We will figure this out Lex, I can’t have anything happen to you. You know you’re my only family.”
“Thanks Anna. I need to see Luc and speak to him, I just don’t know how to go about it,” I say flipping her warm blanket off me. “I have an appointment at the outpatient clinic, I need to talk to Dr. Newman maybe he will know what to do.”
“Do you want me to come with?” she asked getting out of bed.
“No, I’m fine,” I waved her off.
“You’re not scared to go out on your own?” she blinked.
“Honestly I am, but how can I stay locked up in here? Besides at the end of the day it may not matter,” I said looking back at her. I know it sounded grim but I was a realist. I went back to my room to get dressed. I threw on a thick wool grey sweater and my dark blue skinny jeans then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The image in the mirror was new, shame didn’t look back at me today. The Lexi that stared back seemed a little more sensible and a lot more courageous than the old one. I left the bathroom and threw on my black pea coat. I overslept a bit and I couldn’t be late for the appointment. As reassured as I felt about my inner self after leaving the apartment, a whole new round of fear washed over me.
***
I bumped into Marlene in the hallway on my way to Dr. Newman’s outpatient clinic. She told me that I looked much better and I believed her. I would have a scar on my stomach, a constant reminder of the attack and loss of my baby. Another scar to add to my collection of bad memories, but inside I was doing better.
“How are you doing Alexis?” he asked with his usual friendly smile.
“Good and bad,” I responded reflecting on how I felt.
“Okay, which shall we start with?” he smirked.
“The bad,” I answered nervously. I explained the story of how Dylan went to see Luc or beat Luc up, and how Luc warned that his family had threatened to hurt me.
“Do you think they have really threatened you?” he asked throwing me off.
“I assume so, since that is what Dylan said.”
“You also mentioned that Luc told Dylan that you are still his wife and that he is not giving up on you, do you think that Luc is trying to pull you to him or is this threat real?”
“I don’t know, I was kind of wondering that myself. Right now, the only thing I want to do is to confront Luc,” I responded despite the confusion. Would Luc really be that underhanded that he would lie to make me return to him? I would hope not.
“Exactly,” Dr. Newman responds. “How do you feel about seeing him again? This goes back to our discussion last week I asked you to think
about your feelings for both men.”
“Well, the truth is I’ve already seen him twice since the attack, I don’t think he wants to hurt me now, but to me he will always be the man who killed my baby, who hurt me more than anyone I know,” I explained as I fidgeted a bit with my fingers.
“Hmm, that’s an interesting statement. Last time you were here you said the same thing about Dylan, that when he didn’t come back for you after prom and year by year went by that you’ve never been so hurt before,” he said reiterating a statement I made in our last session.
“I guess both men have hurt me in different ways,” I respond. Even though I feel that there was more to Dylan staying away than he’s letting on. And the way that Luc hurt me was incomprehensible on a different level.
“And where do things stand with you and Dylan now?” he asked, writing some notes on a note pad.
“Things are complicated, he wants me back I’m pretty sure of that, but he understands that we need to take things slowly, he calls it ‘baby steps.’ We’ve been opening up about things but there’s so much more to reveal. I think for him too,” I replied softly. As I spoke about Dylan I felt my heart softening, it wasn’t the same effect that I had speaking of Luc.
“It sounds like you’re on the right track with him. Do you think you can forgive him for leaving you the way he did?”
“I honestly don’t know. There is more to his story. I think he’s trying to tell me the truth about why he stayed away, but he’s scared, I can tell he’s scared.”
Dr. Newman nodded his head.
“Fair enough, how about Luc? Can you forgive him?”
“That seems to be a little more complicated, especially since he wasn’t in his right mind and I wasn’t a complete angel in the relationship, again, I don’t know.”
“Alexis, if Luc is telling the truth and the threat is real, you need to be careful, did you consider calling the cops?”
“No,” I blurted out. “I can’t do that. His family is the mob, the cops won’t help, not with a situation like this. My friend Anna said she would talk to her friend that works with national security,” I explained.
“Okay, well you need to take the threat seriously and watch yourself. I’m glad to see you making strides. It sounds like you are thinking more clearly now,” he smiled reassuringly when he said I was making strides. I liked it because I trusted his medical opinion.
“Yes, I am trying to think very hard before I make a decision these days,” I smiled.
“Well, don’t overthink and stress yourself out, you need to start trusting yourself that you will make the right decisions for what is good for you. Last time you mentioned that you used to hate to look in the mirror. I think that was because you were aware of the fact that you were making bad decisions. Like I said Alexis, you are a smart woman, sometimes it takes time to figure out what we want. It’s completely normal,” he explained and I grabbed on to every word. What he said made sense and allowed me to believe in myself a little bit more each time.
His use of the word ‘normal’ made me laugh. “I think I’m anything but normal.”
“Again, you have to stop this negative train of thought. There’s nothing indicating to me that you aren’t ‘normal.’” He lifted his two hands in the air and crunches his pointer fingers making air quotations.
The truth was I liked to hear him say things like that. After the life I’d lived it was refreshing to know that I was not completely crazy.
After the appointment I got in a cab back to the apartment feeling relieved but scared. The burning sensation in my chest wouldn’t subside as I tried to convince myself to stop at Luc’s condo. I actually made the cab driver stop out front but then I began to shake and sweat and I couldn’t even handle the thought of seeing that dreadful place again. Instead I asked the cab driver to take me home, it’s my haven. I immersed myself in school work for the rest of the day. It was already Saturday, reading week and my time to re-cooperate flew by too quickly. I had to be back in school on Monday, I had already missed too many classes and school work. As much as I wanted to see Dylan tonight I texted him that I had too much work to do and he understood. We put off our night out for tomorrow.
At dusk I threw on my pajamas and thought of Dylan, I was too distracted to continue my work. He was my light, my shining knight in armor. I hoped my thoughts would lead to a beautiful dream of Dylan and prevent another nightmare. I pulled my comforter over my shoulders and snuggled in against my pillow. I tried slow breathes like Dr. Newman taught and my body gradually relaxed and I was lulled to sleep.
“Are we almost there?” I ask.
“Not yet maybe another twenty minutes,” Dylan replies while driving his mom’s Land Rover through the dark narrow road.
“Did you guys bring the proper equipment?” Samantha asks. Dylan, Matt and Rob eye each other then burst out laughing. Emily and Samantha look at each other, then they look at me lifting their shoulders not understanding the joke we just missed. I look over to Dylan wanting to get a real answer. “Seriously Dylan are we good? Because it looks like we're headed out to the boonies.”
Dylan lifts up the right corner of his lips and looks into his rearview mirror so he can see me. “Relax Lex, it’s just Algonquin Park, chill out, it’s all taken care of, we have tents, a barbeque and lots of food.” Then Matt adds, “And lots of beers.” Matt and Dylan smash their fists together and continue bobbing their heads to Nine Inch Nails, ‘The Hand That Feeds’ on the radio.
We arrive at the camp site and the guys unload Dylan’s mom’s Land Rover. It’s the only car that could fit all six of us. So Dylan got stuck driving it for the past four hours. I sit between Samantha and Emily. I lost the coin toss, I usually don’t like getting stuck in the middle because I’m known to get car sick.
“Hey Em, how did you get your mom to agree to let you come with us?” I ask.
“I didn’t, I told her that I was staying at Samantha’s house for the weekend," she replies with a giggle. I look over at Samantha and she has this guilty look on her face.
“What?”
“Did you tell your parents you’re staying at Em’s house?” I ask her.
“Duh,” she nods.
“Very funny girls, very funny.” I look between the two of them shaking my head.
Then Em leans over to my ear. “My parents are gone the Victoria long weekend anyway, they’re headed up north and Samantha’s parents are headed to New York for a wedding so we got it covered.” Since it was only grade 11, parents didn’t like kids going off for a weekend with a bunch of guys. I told Mom that Ash and I were spending the weekend with the Priestley’s. She was so drunk I didn’t understand her response but at least I had my bases covered too.
The guys set up the two tents quickly. One tent for the girls and one for the guys. They set up a camp fire and barbeque. We also cracked open some beers and started playing games. Matt dared Rob to run in the lake buck naked. He took off his clothes by the lake and jumped in. When he got out he said the lake was freezing. But he was too wasted to really care. As the night dragged on everyone got more and more tipsy and began drifting in different directions.
Dylan and Samantha are an item so they slipped into one of the tents, probably for a make out session. Matt and Emily ventured bravely into the forest for a hike. I was silently hoping there weren’t any bears around. That left Rob and I by the campfire. Rob is a good friend of Dylan’s and we all hang out a lot. He’s good looking with blonde hair and blue eyes, he’s on the school rugby team so he’s muscular too. We’re joking around by the fire when Rob says, “I dare you to run into the lake.”
“No way. You said its freezing and I’m not drunk enough to do something so crazy,” I reply, laughing at his suggestion. I don’t like to drink alcohol but I made an exception for tonight and had two beers. Given my lack of tolerance they hit me right away.
“Okay, I double dare you to run in the lake,” he challenges.
“Shit, Rob, I don’
t like backing away from a challenge, I’ll run in the lake if you run in with me and we’re leaving clothes on.” I point my finger at him.
Rob narrows his eyes and replies with a serious tone, “You’re on.” We both stand up and I feel a little more wobbly than I originally thought, we stumble our way over to the lake, Rob a lot drunker than me. We reach the beach, the light from the stars glisten across the still water. It’s very tempting but I start to get cold feet, literally, and Rob senses it.
“Oh no you don’t Alexis, you’re going in with me," he says, lifting me up in his arms. I kick my legs out laughing and he tickles my waist causing my body to thrash into the cold water. We’re laughing our asses off because the water is freezing cold. Rob gets a serious look on his face and moves his lips toward mine. It must be the beer mixed with my adrenaline pumping from the cold water but I take my hands and wrap them around his neck and he deepens the kiss. I’m distracted when I hear Dylan’s loud stern voice calling me, “Lexi get out of there now, you’re going to catch pneumonia.”
Rob looks at me, shrugging his shoulders. “What the hell is his problem?” he says, pointing to Dylan standing on the edge of the beach. I shrug my shoulders ignoring Dylan and continuing my kiss with Rob.
I’m startled when I feel water splash behind me and see Dylan making his way over to us. My mouth drops open. “Break this shit up Rob,” he says, smacking Rob across the shoulder. Then he picks me up and carries me out of the water. I’m finding the whole situation very amusing.
“You know you don’t have to be my knight in shining armor all the time? It was just a kiss and we were just having fun,” I chide.
“Don’t give me that Lex, the water’s freezing and I don’t need Rob taking advantage of your drunken ass,” Dylan says, seriously pissed. I can’t help but laugh at his sudden grumpy mood.
“My ass is not drunk and so what if I wanted to have a little fun with Rob?” I reply. He doesn’t respond, he just shakes his head at me. When we get back to the camp site it seems that Matt and Emily have occupied one of the tents so it’s off limits.
Twisted Love Page 11
