Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “Shhh!” Eli put an index finger to his mouth. “I don’t want anyone to know!”

  “Dude, who are we going to tell?” Kieran’s mouth formed a smarmy smile. “Except the neighborhood.”

  “Oh, and Father Joseph,” Nick added.

  “And that cute girl at the checkout line,” Joey winked.

  “The hell?” Eli’s cheeks were on fire and he felt suffocated in his tuxedo. “Stop it!”

  “Man, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin,” Nick smiled. “We were all virgins at one point.”

  “Oh yeah?” Eli asked. “When did you lose yours?”

  “Sixteen,” Kieran revealed first. “With Rebecca.”

  “Oh yeah, your first girlfriend?” Nick remembered as Kieran nodded.

  “At her parents’ house when no one was home.” Kieran smiled. “Those were the days.”

  “I was fifteen,” Joey revealed, “with some trick at school. She was sleeping with everybody so I asked her ‘when was it going to be my turn?’ And that’s all she wrote.”

  “You, Nicky?” Kieran asked.

  “I was a late bloomer,” Nick put the finishing touches on Eli’s tux and stepped aside so his brother could admire himself in the mirror. “Almost twenty.”

  “Damn, bro.” Joey wondered. “What took you so long?”

  “I was more into books than girls,” Nick shrugged, “I was friends with this one girl my sophomore year. I told her I was a virgin and she thought it was sweet. And then she was like, ‘Well, I can help you solve that problem…’” He mimicked a female voice.

  “Wait a minute,” Kieran stifled a laugh, “did she actually say that?”

  “Verbatim. Shit was straight out of porn.” Nick smiled.

  “Bow-chikka-bow-wow.” Joey commented.

  “So, what do you think?” Nick asked to Eli. “You like the look?”

  “I look pimp,” Eli nodded. His hair was slicked back and he had a couple dashes of cologne on his neck. His older brothers chipped in and bought him a custom-made black tuxedo with tie. Nick and Joey bought Eli a pair of silver cufflinks while Kieran lent his watch to Eli.

  “Nice,” Kieran got off the bed and walked up to Eli. He reached into his jeans pocket, pulled out a couple of condoms and handed it to his younger brother. “For tonight. Ma’s too young to be a nonna. She can’t be raising you and your kid.”

  “Ah, come on, man!” Eli was embarrassed.

  “I’m serious,” Kieran’s voice was stern. “Wrap it up. I don’t care if you’re her first or her fifteenth. There’s never a reason to not use a condom.”

  “Eli!” Nicola called out. “Simone is here with the driver.”

  Eli and his brothers rushed downstairs and found Simone wearing a blush pink gown that brushed her ankles. Her long mane was up in a French roll and she had a corsage full of white roses on her wrist. Her parents chipped in for a limousine because Meredith couldn’t bear the thought of her daughter taking the bus to prom.

  Eli stood at the base of the stairs, just in awe at how beautiful his girlfriend was. She looked like a goddess before him and he almost had to pinch himself to believe it was real-life. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

  He walked up to Simone and kissed her cheeks, emitting ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from his brothers. Eli ignored them, though. At that moment, it was just him and Simone alone in the universe.

  “You look absolutely amazing, Moni,” he said quietly to her, “Just the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

  Simone smiled sweetly at her boyfriend. “You look really hot yourself, handsome.”

  “Awe, look at this!” Nicola kept snapping pictures with her disposable camera. “You look so wonderful together! All right, it’s time for you all to go and have a great time! Have fun!”

  Eli grabbed Simone’s hand and led her out to the limo, where they got inside and sped off. Nicola and her sons gathered at the front porch again to watch the couple leave. “Did anyone give him the condoms?” Nicola asked.

  “We got it covered, ma.” Nick answered.

  “Good, good.” Nicola nodded. “I’m too young to be a nonna.”

  ****

  After an evening of dancing and mingling with their friends, Eli and Simone stepped outside to the hotel balcony to look up at the stars. The evening was going perfectly—the DJ was incredible, Simone and Eli danced to just about every song that came on and they professed their love to each other.

  Simone wondered how much Eli would still love her after her next confession. She knew the crowd he ran with—all of them had bedded her friends and some bragged about it online. She also knew his friends preferred girls who wouldn’t give them any trouble—aka non-virgins. “I have something to confess,” Simone sat down on a nearby bench and stared at her feet. “I hope this doesn’t change how you feel about me.”

  “Nothing you can say will change how I feel about you, Moni,” Eli sat beside her. “You know you can tell me anything.”

  Simone softly bit her lip and let out a quiet breath. “I’m a virgin.”

  Eli was waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn’t come, he leaned in towards his girlfriend. “Is that it?”

  “It’s a big deal, Eli! All of the other girls are having sex!” Simone complained. “I feel like I’m the only virgin left on earth.”

  “I wouldn’t say you’re the only one,” Eli looked up at the stars and admired them.

  Simone turned to him and waited with baited breath for him to admit what she hoped was a revelation of his own. “You’re a virgin, too?”

  “Shh, with that, woman!” Eli looked around, hoping no one heard what his girlfriend said.

  Simone interlocked her arms with Eli. “There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, Eliodoro.”

  “Yeah, you say that because you’re a girl.” Eli shook his head. “It’s different when you’re a guy.”

  “How is it different?” Simone asked.

  Eli looked at her, stunned. “You can’t be serious?”

  “I am,” she turned her body to face him, “how is it different when a boy is a virgin?”

  “Aw, man,” Eli looked around to make sure no one was hearing the conversation. “It just is, all right? It just is.”

  “Being a virgin doesn’t make you any less of a man, Eliodoro.” She smiled.

  “Will you stop saying that?” He gritted his teeth. “Enough with that, all right?”

  Simone softly laughed and kissed her boyfriend’s cheek. “I still think you rock.”

  Eli turned his head towards hers and kissed her lips. “So do you.”

  Six

  It had the setting to be the best summer ever.

  Simone and Eli spent every other day with each other, from early afternoon to night. They went to the movies. They went to the mall. They went to the park. Sometimes they just spent time at their respective homes. It didn’t matter to them. As long as they were together, that’s all that mattered.

  They perfected their make out sessions down to a science, becoming masters of dry humping and grinding to slow music. When they couldn’t be alone at their homes, they went to a secluded park not far from Simone’s home. It was a little wild for both of them—being in public and anyone could see them—but that was what made it exciting. Simone was tired of being a good girl and Eli had enough bad in him to make her go wrong.

  “Now, remember…” Simone moaned as Eli nibbled and kissed her neck. “…no hickies.”

  “I promise,” Eli gently sucked on Simone’s neck, “no hickies.” His hands wandered all over her body, pinching her nipples and softly squeezing them through the thin fabric of her tank top. They hardened within moments and Simone squirmed on Eli’s lap, grinding against her boyfriend and wanting more from him.

  “I want more, Eliodoro,” Simone purred.

  Fear shot up Eli’s back. He didn’t think tonight would be the night and he didn’t bring any condoms with him. “Um…um…what do you mean?”


  Simone dragged Eli’s hand between her thighs and tightly pressed them together. “There,” she whispered.

  “Um…” Eli swallowed again and let out a deep breath. He had seen plenty of porn and got salacious details from his friend’s exploits; all of it making it seem like sex was the easiest thing and that everyone has done it. Now he was with his love and he really didn’t know where to start. Even with his hand snuggly placed between Simone’s hot and thick thighs was making his voice crack. “Um…”

  “Can you touch it for me?” Simone continued to grind against him. “I want you to touch it.”

  “Um…” Eli swallowed. “…with what?”

  “With your fingers,” Simone kissed his neck. She had heard from her friends about how their boyfriends had fingered them and they all enjoyed it. She wanted the same experience.

  “Um…” He swallowed once again. “…sure.” Eli looked around and saw they were alone and completely in a secluded area where no one would be able to see them. He watched Simone hop off his lap and unbutton her shorts, pulling them down her legs. He felt his heart get lodged in his throat when he saw the pastel pink bikini panties she had on. She climbed back on the bench and straddled Eli’s legs again.

  Eli’s friends have never told him about their fingering skills other than it was a way “to get the bitches off.” Great. That really didn’t help him at all. He suddenly remembered a couple of his friends talking about licking their fingers before they got started and he followed their lead. He quickly licked his fingers and carefully inserted them inside Simone. Damn, she was hot and moist already. He watched her suck in a breath of air and still her body. Her head was thrown back and her back slightly arched for more.

  It was the hottest thing Eli had ever seen.

  He gently coaxed his fingers in and out of her heat while his thumb played with her swollen nub, peeking between the slick folds. Simone ground more against Eli and feverishly kissed him, devouring his lips and tongue. She moaned in his mouth, encouraging him to keep going and not stop, as she rocked with his fingers.

  He moved his fingers inside her faster, feeling her tightly clench around him. His cock became swollen, pulsing against the zipper of his jeans and eager to come out. Fuck. He never wanted someone so bad in his life.

  Simone soon moaned Eli’s name and her body shook slightly. “Stop, stop, stop…” she begged him.

  Eli withdrew his hand and watched Simone come down from her orgasm. She had a glow on her face and in a dream-like state. “You like that, Moni?” He finally asked her.

  Simone wrapped her arms around Eli’s neck and buried her face there. “I loved it, Eli. And I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Moni.” He rubbed her back.

  Simone pulled away from Eli and smiled at him with dreamy eyes. “I want us to have sex soon.”

  “Okay.” Simone’s admission gave Eli some time to prepare and think about potential techniques.

  “Tomorrow.”

  Eli blinked at his girlfriend. He somehow thought she was going to give him just a few days or possible weeks. She was ready and told him in not so many words that he better step up to meet her challenge. “Tomorrow?” His voice slightly cracked.

  “My parents will be gone for a few hours and my sister will be out with her boyfriend,” she cuddled with Eli and whispered in his ear, “We will have the whole house to ourselves.”

  “The whole house, huh?” Eli was tempted. It sounded like one of those fantasy stories he read out of the back of porn magazines. Eli was eager to have sex with Simone, the girl he loved and wanted to be with forever, but also knew it was up to her if anything was going to happen. He didn’t want to put pressure on her or make it feel she had to. He had to admit, though, it was getting a little tiresome waiting. He had never masturbated so much in his life.

  He decided to take the risk. “Only if you want to.”

  “I do want this more than anything.” She kissed him again. “And with you.”

  ****

  Eli couldn’t sleep. He kept tossing and turning, thinking about positions, styles, if he had enough condoms, if he should get more. What if Simone laughed at his dick size? What if she got bored with him? Oh damn, what if he broke her?

  Eli lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. He slightly patted his forehead and was already soaking wet with nervousness. He would just have to not think about it, that’s all. If he was going to have sex with Simone, it was going have to be perfect, because she was.

  Meanwhile, Simone thought about the next day. She double-checked with her parents to see if they still had plans with their friends and they did. Her sister was always at her boyfriend’s house so Alicia was a non-issue. Simone stretched out in her bed and smiled. She was finally going to lose her virginity to her Eliodoro. It was going to be everything.

  ****

  Eli stood in his backyard, looking at the garden his mother was growing. He had never seen so many roses in his life. There were a few other plants he didn’t know what they were. There were plenty of plants he couldn’t even pronounce. But it didn’t matter. His mother found a passion for flowers and had always created some pretty fancy bouquets and centerpieces for around the house and her friends, charging them a small fee.

  “You might as well open up a flower shop with all these flowers, ma.” Eli commented as he looked around the garden.

  “One day,” Nicola wiped her brow and rested an arm on the shovel. “One day.”

  “Anyway, I’m about to head out and see Simone for a few hours. I’ll be back later.” Eli kissed his mother’s cheek. “Did you need me to do anything before I leave?”

  “No, go ahead. Tell Simone I said hi.” Nicola looked around her garden. She needed some geraniums. Maybe a few catmint plants. She had so much work to do and not enough hours in the day. She was determined one day she was going to quit her jobs and run her own flower shop.

  ****

  Eli thought about rushing over to Simone’s house but decided against it. Did he really want to go over there smelling like sweat and funk on an important day for them both? Instead he took the bus route and walked the standard half-mile distance to her house.

  He was nervous. He was excited. His mind was wandering all over the place—was it the right decision, would she like it, would she still love him afterward? His brothers made sex sound like it was just physical with no emotions involved, but it was different for Eli. He really loved Simone and wanted to be with her. Forever, if he could.

  He stopped in front of her house and stood still. He knew the moment he walked in, things were going to be different. He knew the moment he left, everything between them would change. He only hoped for the better.

  He walked up to her front door and rang the doorbell. He rocked back on his heels, looking around to distract himself when he heard the front door open. Simone was wearing just a bath robe and her hair was pinned up in a bun. A shy smile appeared on her face and she opened the door wider to let Eli in. She quickly closed the door behind him and led him upstairs to her bedroom.

  She removed the robe and revealed a toned body that wore a matching purple bra and panty set. Eli licked his lips before he snaked his arms around Simone’s waist and pulled her close to him. “We can go at any pace you want, Moni,” he said in between kisses, “just let me know.”

  “I know. I just don’t want to wait any longer.” She undid her bra and removed her panties. She stood before Eli—naked and hungry for him.

  Simone had always looked beautiful to Eli but she was a goddess at that moment. “Get on there.” He pointed to the bed and Simone complied. He then removed his clothing and grabbed a condom from his pants pocket.

  Simone managed to grab a glimpse of Eli’s package. It was very impressive, yet surprising. He was so skinny and she somehow thought his dick would be just as small and slender as he was. But it wasn’t. It was thick, long, and the color of rich cinnamon. Simone didn’t have to wonder if it was going to hurt her; she already knew it was
going to.

  Eli climbed on the bed and lay beside Simone, caressing her body with his hands. It seemed any time he placed his hand on her body, she would coo and moan; her body slick rolling off the bed. His hands found her breasts again and he rolled the dark brown nipples between his fingers. Her breasts were small and perky, perfectly fitting inside his palms. He leaned down and tasted one while his free hand gently squeezed the other one. “Gentle, baby.” Simone moaned. “Not so hard.”

  “I’m sorry about that,” Eli realized he needed to take his time. He couldn’t be rushing at her like a starving man at dinner. His mouth found Simone’s again and they eagerly kissed, playing with each other’s tongues. Their hands explored each other feeling, caressing, playfully touching while occasionally giggling.