Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “Are you ready, Moni?” Eli asked.

  She nodded. “Yes. I’m ready.”

  Eli reached under the pillow and grabbed the condom he had stashed there. He ripped open the foil and slid it on his cock. “Now remember,” He mounted Simone, “you can stop this at any time. I’m not going to force you to do anything.”

  Simone swallowed her nervousness. “I know,” she nodded. “I’m just a little nervous.”

  “Okay,” he replied softly. His lips once again met Simone’s, calming her fears and taking away her anxiety about what was going to take place. Eli was also nervous—he had never had sex before and barely discovered masturbation just a few short years prior—but Simone trusted him with her body. She trusted him with her heart. He only hoped he didn’t hurt her too much.

  He adjusted his position and slid inside her. He immediately felt a thick wall blocking him from going farther. He pushed and pushed until he finally broke through, a shocked expression and gasp from Simone.

  He looked down at her and read her eyes. She was in pain and looked like she was about to cry, chewing on her bottom lip and trying to put on a brave face for her boyfriend. Eli was afraid to move, going farther would hurt her but sliding out of her might have the same consequence. “We can stop, Moni,” he reassured her.

  “No,” she shook her head, “please continue.”

  Eli carefully moved inside her, softly kissing her lips and neck as they made love. Simone wrapped her legs tightly around Eli as her nails dug into his back. It felt so painful. It made her feel so beautiful. The boy she was in love with and wanted to marry was now the owner of her virginity and she owned his. Nothing between them would ever be the same again.

  Eli moved quicker and suddenly stopped. His body shuddered as he reached his own climax. It was over just as it began. “I’m so sorry about that, Moni,” he apologized, embarrassed for his body’s response, “I didn’t mean for it to go so quickly.”

  “It’s okay,” Simone raked her nails up and down Eli’s back, “I didn’t mind.”

  Eli got off Simone and cuddled with her on the bed. “How do you feel?”

  “Sore,” she grinned, “but I feel fine. How do you feel?”

  “A little sore, too,” Eli shrugged, “but I feel okay.”

  Eli interlocked his fingers with Simone’s. “I wish I could spend the night with you but I need to go home.”

  “I understand,” Simone nodded, wishing the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  “Right.” Eli smiled. He climbed out of bed and hurriedly put his clothing on. He gathered his backpack and kissed his girlfriend. “I’ll call you later, Moni.”

  “Okay, baby.” Simone smiled. “I’ll talk to you later, Eli.”

  “Later,” Eli began to leave and then turned around to give Simone one last kiss. “I love you, Moni.”

  “I love you, too, baby.” She smiled back at him before he left.

  Simone fell back into her bed and smiled up at the ceiling. She was no longer a little girl; she was a woman. She had given Eli a gift no other man would be able to get from her and likewise from him. They owned a piece of each other—forever.

  It was perfect. They were going to get married. They were going to have babies. They were going to…

  “That’s it! That’s it! I’m tired of being your little play wife! I’m tired of always following you everywhere! I’m tired of living a lie! I’m done!” Meredith screamed.

  Simone recognized her mother’s voice and hurriedly put on clothing. She wondered when they came home and how long they had been there while she was daydreaming about Eli. She had made it to the top of the stairs when the angry exchange from her parents stopped her.

  “I’m not stopping you from doing whatever the hell you want to do, Meredith!” Charles yelled back. “You want to leave, leave! Go on. I ain’t stoppin’ you!”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice!” Meredith screamed back. “I’m leaving tomorrow!”

  “Good!” Charles clapped.

  “And I’m taking the girls with me back to Houston! And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!” Meredith warned.

  “Fine!” Charles yelled. “You wanted the girls more than I did, anyway. How do I know they’re not the pool boy’s daughters?”

  Tears formed in Simone’s eyes. What was happening to her life? Alicia’s door briefly opened and she joined her sister by the stairs.

  “I guess you can figure mom and dad are getting a divorce,” Alicia sighed.

  “What?” Simone shook her head. “Wh-wh-why?”

  “Mom said she didn’t love dad, anymore and never did,” Alicia shrugged, “we’re leaving for Houston tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” Simone gasped. “That’s… that’s too soon!”

  “We don’t have a choice. We’re leaving tomorrow and Dad is going to have our stuff shipped to Houston. It’s a done deal.” Alicia shrugged and went back into her bedroom.

  Simone blinked back tears and bit her lip. The most beautiful night of her life had turned into a nightmare within a few hours. She tried to get on the phone with Eli but her mother was on talking to her grandmother. She would have to wait until the phone was free so she could tell Eli. No, her mother would be on the phone all night and this was too important to wait. Simone hurried back into her room and changed into street clothing. She then climbed out of her window and made her way down to the front yard. She briefly looked around and saw that no one noticed her actions. Good. She ran to the nearest bus station and got on the first bus heading to Eli’s home.

  She hoped he wouldn’t be too mad at her.

  ****

  It seemed music sounded different. Food tasted different. Even how he slept felt different. The sun was a bit shinier. The sky was bluer.

  His brothers hinted once he lost his virginity, he would have more confidence. He would look at life a different way. He didn’t realize how much. He was in love with Simone. He was going to marry her. Kaitlyn Simone D’Amato. Even saying her name like that sounded exotic, like she came from the right side of the tracks.

  He hoped there might be a chance they would practice having sex again. He would take his time the next go-round. He would make sure Simone would be able to take more of him. Maybe they could try another position.

  It just occurred to Eli he was hungry. If he hurried up and ate, helped his mother out in the garden, he could call Simone and just talk about what transpired between them. Maybe there was a new position she wanted to try. Maybe she could practice giving him a hand job or even a blow job. Maybe he could practice going down on her since he’d never done it. There were so many possibilities, so many things to explore, so many…

  “Hey, lover-boy,” Tony stood by the doorway in their bedroom, “Moni is here.”

  Eli snapped out of his fantasies and sat up in bed. “What?”

  “She’s downstairs and she looks upset, like she’s been crying.” Tony shrugged.

  “Shit!” Eli hurried downstairs and saw his girlfriend. She was sitting on the couch, crying uncontrollably while Nicola consoled her.

  “There, there, sweetie…” Nicola rocked Simone back and forth. “…there, there…”

  “Moni?” Eli rushed to her side. “What’s going on, baby?”

  Simone pulled away from Nicola. Her eyes were bloodshot red and cheeks stained with tears. “My parents are getting a divorce!” She cried.

  “Simone, I’m so sorry, baby.” Eli comforted her. “When did you find out?”

  “Just now, after you left,” Simone sniffled, “but that’s not the worst of it. My mom is moving back to Texas and she’s taking me and my sister with her!”

  Eli’s heart collapsed upon hearing Simone’s confession. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not ever. They were going to be the hottest senior couple in school. They were going to go to college together. They were going to get married and have babies. No, this couldn’t happen. It would ruin everything. “When?”

&
nbsp; “I don’t know, but soon,” Simone started crying again and Eli held her. “I’m sorry, Eli. I’m sorry, baby. I don’t want to leave but I have to.”

  Eli fought back tears. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He couldn’t cry. Yet, a tear escaped his eye and he sniffled. “It’ll be all right, Moni.” He knew it was a lie. He knew, despite promises of phone calls during the weekends and letters every week, they were as good as broken up. The move just delayed the inevitable. He would never see her again. “It’ll be all right.”

  Book II

  Faith

  One

  Eli stretched his arms and slowly opened his eyes when the sunlight hit his face. He yawned, looking over at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was already eight o’clock. Shit. He rubbed his eyes and managed to get out of bed. It meant his mother was already home.

  It meant he would have to figure out how to sneak the girl lying beside him out of the house.

  It had been several months since Simone left him and Eli spent most of the summer entertaining countless girls, racking up both numbers and panties in order to escape his broken heart. He wanted to tell himself he didn’t love Simone; that he was never in love with her, that everything he had ever felt for her was a fleeting moment.

  He wanted to forget about her. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

  Instead, he buried his cock inside of New York’s trashiest on a semi-nightly basis, perfecting his bedroom skills with each partner. It didn’t matter if it was after summer school, before summer school, behind the bleachers, or in a car at an abandoned church parking lot. He wanted to not feel whatever torment his heart was feeling and the only way to do that was to make sure his dick was plenty entertained.

  “Good morning, Chris,” the girl curled up next to him and kissed his neck.

  Chris. It was Eli’s go-to name when he didn’t want to give out his real one. “Good morning…” He briefly scanned his memory for her name. What the hell was her name? He suddenly remembered she told him she was named after a famous cartoon character. “…Minnie.”

  Minnie continued to kiss Eli’s neck as her hands trailed down to the growing bulge hiding underneath the blankets. “Do you think you’ll be ready for round three?”

  “I can’t, babe.” Eli grabbed Minnie’s hand and moved it to his chest, “I need to get ready for work.”

  “Are you sure, baby?” She playfully whined. “I promise to be quiet.”

  Eli was tempted to have Minnie at least suck him off. But the longer she was in his house, the more trouble he was in. He would have to figure out a way to get out without his mother noticing. He suddenly heard a noise outside and he rolled over to look out the window. He saw his mother in the backyard tending to her makeshift garden. Joey and Tony were helping her. He’d found his escape route. “I really can’t, baby. But I do want to see you next weekend.”

  “I want to see you again, too, baby.” Minnie crawled out of bed and began to put on her clothes. “What did you want to do next weekend?”

  Eli hadn’t thought that far ahead. He mainly said he wanted to see Minnie again with the hopes of keeping her quiet and getting her out of the house quickly. He had no intention of acting on his words. “Let’s talk about it later.” He got out of the bed and hurriedly put his clothes on. He instructed Minnie to be quiet and then he slowly opened his door. He looked around to see if anyone was in the house. When he felt the coast was clear, he walked Minnie downstairs. He would be able to get Minnie out of the house without his mother or his brothers knowing, granted Tony kept his mouth shut. Eli had to pay him a substantial fee to be quiet.

  Eli and Minnie were almost out the door when a familiar voice interrupted them. “Well, well, well…” Kieran’s baritone echoed in the home. “…what do we have here?”

  “It seems like we have the walk of shame,” Nick commented as he read the morning paper, “Have a seat. We want to get to know your new friend.”

  Eli’s eyes bulged and he wanted to go hide somewhere. “We really can’t. Minnie has to get going and…”

  “For her singing lessons?” Kieran asked.

  “Singing lessons?” Eli asked.

  “Yes, because according to Tony, she was doing a lot of singing last night,” Nick turned a page in the paper and began to imitate Minnie. “oh, oh, oh, oooh…” He then glanced up at his brother and smiled at him. “Chris!”

  Eli felt his cheek aflame with embarrassment. “I’m taking Minnie home now. Tell mom I’ll be right back.” He quickly left with Minnie.

  Kieran and Nick laughed amongst each other. “We’re such assholes.” Kieran laughed.

  “Aren’t we?” Nick laughed.

  *****

  “Yo, Eli!” Folliero’s owner, Marco, scribbled on some paper and handed it over to the young man. “You have an order coming up. Get ready, kid.”

  When Eli wasn’t in school or participating in some sport, he spent his weekends delivering pizzas. His goal was to save up for a nice speaker system for his “new” car, a used Mustang convertible his brothers helped get him for his recent eighteenth birthday. The only condition was Eli had to cover the insurance and maintenance on the car, which he gladly did. He had big plans for the car, starting with the wheels and working his way inside to the interior. It was in process, between looking like something potentially special and a piece of crap. Eli had faith, though. Soon, his car would have all the honeys flocking to him.

  But for now, he was using his honey-macking machine to deliver pizzas.

  After ordering from Folliero’s for so long, he was able to score a gig there. He started as a busboy, wiping floors and cleaning tables. Then he was the delivery guy. He soon made his way as waiter, then as cook. Occasionally when the delivery guy was out or they were short-staffed, Eli made the deliveries. He didn’t mind it at all. He usually scored a few good tips. He just didn’t like going to the rich neighborhoods. Despite all the money they had, they never tipped shit.

  He gathered the pizza and side dishes and headed out to New Brighton, a city right next door to St. George. After scoping the neighborhood and finding the right house, Eli parked his car and gathered the pizzas. He casually walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He began to daydream about the next upgrade he wanted to make to his ride when the door opened.

  “Oh, you came quick!” A young girl answered the door. “Krista! The pizza is here!”

  “Just a minute!” Krista Allen called back. “Tell him to wait just a moment!”

  Eli stared hard at the chocolate beauty in front of him. She had shoulder-length shiny ebony hair that was so dark, it almost looked blue. Eli immediately wanted to run his fingers through it. She had sensual, deep brown eyes and her full lips were daintily painted with a nude blush color. She just wore jeans and a sweater top, but that was just fine. Her petite figure filled that outfit perfectly.

  It was love at first sight. Eli knew he was going to marry her. He was going to make her a D’Amato. She was going to have his babies. Now all he needed to do was convince her.

  “What’s your name?” Her soft voice was music to Eli’s ears.

  Eli had to shake his head to relieve himself of the assault of dirty thoughts that began to plague his mind. “I’m Eli.” He smiled. “What’s yours?”

  “I’m Faith,” she smiled. “Nice to meet you, Eli.”

  “Same here, Faith.”

  Faith folded her arms and cocked her head to the side. “You look familiar. Do you go to Roth High?”

  “Yeah, I do,” Eli smiled. “I’m a senior there.”

  “Oh, that’s cool. I’m a senior there as well.” She smiled.

  Faith’s smile could light up the darkest sky, Eli determined. “That’s funny. I’ve never seen you around.”

  “Maybe it’s because you never looked for me,” she grinned back.

  “Duly noted.” Eli replied. He felt silly for chasing so many hoes that he was missing a good woman right before him.

  “Okay, here you go,” Kr
ista gave Eli money for the pizza and he gave the boxes to her. “For the pizza and the tip is for you. Thank you, so much.”

  “Not a problem,” Eli smiled. He then caught a last glance with Faith. “I’ll see you around at school, then?”

  “See you around, Eli.” Faith smiled before she closed the door.

  Eli stood in front of the door for a few seconds, hoping to catch another glimpse of Faith. Once he realized his actions were considered to be borderline stalking, he hurried back to his convertible and rushed back to Folliero’s.