Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  He was determined to get to know Faith a little better.

  ****

  “So who was that delivery pizza guy?” Krista asked over pizza.

  Faith shrugged. “Just a delivery guy.”

  “Yeah, but he ain’t just any delivery guy.” Krista gave a sly smile. “You two were making conversation.”

  “I make conversation with everyone, Krista.” Faith countered.

  Krista took a bite of pizza and eyed her best friend. She knew when Faith was being honest and when she was full of it. Faith was currently full of it. “What’s his name?”

  A slow smile formed on Faith’s face. There was something so special about the delivery guy; she couldn’t put her finger on it. “Eli.”

  “Mmm, hmm,” Krista nodded, “I don’t know my delivery guy’s name.”

  “Well, now you do.” Faith smiled.

  Krista took another bite of pizza and continued to eye her best friend. Faith was trying to hide her newfound crush on Eli. Her eyes sparkled just a little more and her cheeks became just a smidge rosier. “I bet you already have your first-born’s name picked out, huh?”

  Faith fell in love with the name Elnathan, which meant gift from God and was determined to name one of her children that one day. “Girl, you’re so crazy.”

  Two

  She knew it was wrong, but that didn’t deter her. It felt good. Really good. Now she understood the hype of it all. It was one of those pesky sins she heard about every Sunday in church. A part of the seven deadly sins. The major one, about which her parents not-so subtly instructed her on a regular basis—lust.

  Faith Sheppard lay in bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling in her bedroom, fantasizing about the pizza delivery guy. What was his name? Ah, yes, Eli. She practiced saying his name over and over as it rolled off her tongue. Eli, Eli, Eli.

  He went to her school so that meant she would be seeing him sometime that week, hopefully. He looked so different in a pizza delivery outfit than he did at school. He was always a bit flashy, dressing in low-slung jeans and baggy clothes. His ponytail was pulled back tightly and curled a little around his neck. She’d noticed Eli from afar and that was fine by her. She liked being incognito.

  Faith also knew who he was, she just never knew his name. She definitely knew his reputation. It seemed that every girl either slept with him or wanted to. She could name at least five girls who bragged about his bedroom skills and how big his penis was.

  Penis. The word made Faith giggle.

  She wasn’t a prude and definitely knew what sex was. But she was a good girl. She boasted a 3.5 GPA. She was active in the Black Students Union, Rainbow Coalition, and sports. Unlike her friends, she didn’t drink, smoke weed, or have sex. She did go to quite a few parties and participated in more than her fair share of dirty dancing.

  She was also a virgin. Faith’s parents preached to her the importance of saving herself for marriage, but Faith also knew reality. And reality told her unless she was going to get married straight out of high school, there was no way she was going to be a 40-year-old virgin.

  “Faith,” her mother, Amy, knocked on her door. “It’s time to get up and get ready, honey.”

  “I’m getting out of bed, Mom,” Faith pulled back the sheets and quickly undressed. She put on a robe and hurried to the bathroom to shower. She then walked back to her bedroom and closed the door behind her to get ready for church. It was the church’s anniversary so she had to wear pale blue as her mother specifically picked out that color for the Sheppard women. She had to practice her speech in front of the mirror one more time. She also had to be on her very best behavior for the entire day.

  Being a preacher’s kid was not everything it was cracked up to be.

  *****

  “Eliodoro! We are going to church, not a fashion show! Get down here, now!” Nicola yelled up the stairs and shook her head. Getting her boys out of the house when they had to go somewhere was always a battle. It was a guarantee she spent the least amount of time in front of the mirror because she had to battle her sons for face time.

  Now she was waiting for her second-youngest to make his grand appearance, finally. Her older sons were dressed and ready to go, along with Tony. Out of all of her sons, it seemed Eli took the role of pretty boy to heart. “Eliodoro! Now!”

  “I’ll be right down, ma!” Eli yelled back. His mother was invited to a Baptist church by one of her housecleaning friends and they were having a celebration. Eli, for one, was excited. He couldn’t stand another minute being inside the sleep haven also known as mass. If it was up to him, he would spend his lazy Sundays in front of the TV watching football. Instead, he was inside a church pew and listening to the priest give spiritual readings, something he usually forgot by the time they left the church.

  Eli slicked his hair back a one more time and straightened his tie. It was a church they were visiting in Harlem, some forty-five minute drive away. Truth to be told, Eli wanted to go to the church to scope out the Harlem honeys. He was on a mission to bang as many women in New York as possible before he turned 21.

  He said a quick prayer in the bathroom and then left. Lord, please forgive me for all the sins I’m going to have within the next several weeks. Amen

  ****

  The parishioners of First Baptist Church were nothing like anything Eli had seen before. Women, in all shades of brown, were dressed to the nines. It seemed the older women wore extravagant hats that coordinated with their entire outfit down to the shoes. The men wore the sharpest suits and were models out of Ebony Man.

  The church itself was quite large, two stories tall, and almost rivaling the size of the cathedral by his mom’s house. Eli and his family made themselves a place in the back of the church and sat down. Nicola made small talk with her co-worker and waited for the festivities to start. Eli just hoped he wouldn’t fall asleep like he did every Sunday in mass.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to celebrate the church’s anniversary on this fine Sunday,” The deacon spoke into the microphone. “We know you all have other responsibilities and things you have to do, so for you to come here to celebrate the church is just a gift from God. Thank you! Now without further ado, please welcome your First family—Pastor and Lady Sheppard and their daughter, Faith!”

  The parishioners stood up and applauded the family entering the church, walking down the long center aisle. Pastor David was a muscular and tall Black man, standing over six feet tall with a bald head and goatee. His wife, First Lady of the church, Amy, was on the pastor’s right. She was a petite Black female, with black hair just over shoulder-length and a hazelnut skin tone.

  On the pastor’s left, was their only daughter, Faith. While Eli stood up and applauded with the rest of the parishioners, he only focused on Faith. She was petite, probably just a few inches over five feet and yet her bearing made her seem statuesque. The pastel blue gown contrasted with her dark chocolate skin tone. Faith had her long black hair up in a ponytail and wore light makeup that complemented her. She smiled and waved at every person she interacted with. When her eyes landed on Eli, she winked at him before she moved on to another parishioner.

  It seemed like there was a glow, an aura that surrounded Faith as she moved down the aisle. If Eli thought he was going to marry Faith before, he definitely knew it when he saw her in church.

  Throughout the ceremony, Eli was focused on Faith. The way she interacted with people, how polite she was, how enthusiastic she was during some songs. When she got up to speak about her parents and being raised in the church, he hung on her every word. She had such class and dignity, being full of confidence and intelligence.

  Eli was used to the hood-rats; the type female who wanted to have sex without even knowing what his last name was. He easily accommodated the women and quickly moved on to the next one whenever he got bored.

  But Faith, though… Ms. Faith Sheppard, as she was introduced to the congregation… she was different.

  Once the ser
vice was over, Eli hurriedly made his way to Faith and waited for her to finish meeting with other church members. The moment she was free, Eli found his opportunity and seized upon it. He casually walked up to her and smiled. “That was a beautiful speech you gave about your parents.”

  “Thank you.” Faith smiled. “I didn’t know you were a parishioner here as well.”

  “Normally, I’m not. I came here because my mother was invited by one of her co-workers.” Eli replied. “So this is your dad’s church, huh?”

  “I was born and raised here.” Faith looked around at the church. It started small, in a shopping center, and eventually grew to mega-church status. Her father was already televising on local cable TV for a broader audience. It was a matter of time before he made the rounds of the international religious networks.

  “I was wondering if I could take you out, sometime. I promise to have you home before your curfew.”

  “I don’t have a curfew,” Faith replied, “but I don’t date your kind.”

  Eli could still hear Meredith’s words ringing in his ear when his mother confronted her about him and Simone. “My kind? What kind is that?”

  Faith walked closer to Eli and wrapped her hand around his head, pulling him down to her level. Her lips tickled his ear. “The kind that’s bad for me,” she whispered.

  Eli wrapped his arms around Faith’s waist. She felt so heavenly pressed against his body. She was a good girl and he was going to treat her as such, despite his lustful urges begging him to do otherwise. “I can be really good for you, if you let me,” he whispered back.

  “Mmm, mmm,” David cleared his throat, causing Faith to pull away from Eli. “Faith Marie, are you going to introduce me to your new friend?”

  “Sure,” Faith smoothed her hands over her gown and brought Eli to her father, “Daddy, this is my new friend, Eli D’Amato. Eli, this is my father, the Reverend David Sheppard.”

  David eyed Eli up and down as he shook the young man’s hand. Had he not caught his daughter in a sensual embrace with Eli, David might have been impressed by him. Instead, he knew Eli’s type before Faith had to say a word—the type who would run wild with his daughter, having her stay out to all hours of the night, and possibly knocking her up before wedlock.

  He was going to put a stop to Eli before Faith had a chance to. “Pleasure to meet you, son,” the pastor smiled.

  Three

  He was already scoping her out. Well, attempting to scope her out. He really had no idea where to start.

  Roth High School was big—a population of 2500 students from ninth to twelfth grade. Classrooms had at least forty students in them; some topping off at fifty. It was spread out over a city block and out of the three high schools in St. George, Roth was considered the best one due to a high graduation rate, national test scores, and its athletic program.

  In later years, Eli would not care about any of that. He would tell his future children it was the place he courted their mother.

  He was on a modified schedule during his senior year. He had taken so many classes and had more than enough credits to graduate early. But his mother was afraid Eli would be out running around in the streets and encouraged him to stay in school and graduate with his friends.

  Now Eli had another reason to stay in school—the incomparable Faith Sheppard.

  Had he noticed her before? Probably. He must have. There was no way a girl—a woman, really—with such class, style… the epitome of grace could go unnoticed. Maybe she was like a ghost, coursing through the school campus seemingly unnoticed and barely above a whisper.

  Worse yet, Faith was in his class. She was a senior just like him. So Eli felt even more stupid for not noticing her. They probably had classes together. She had probably seen him in study hall. And yet, he had no idea she even existed until a few days ago.

  “You seem to be looking for someone.”

  Eli was startled at the soft voice. He looked over and saw Faith beside him. She was wearing black frames and had her hair in a tight bun. Completing her look were jeans, a long sweater, and sneakers. She looked unassuming. She looked to blend in. She looked like… everyone else. It didn’t take Eli very long to figure out that was what Faith wanted to do all along.

  “I’m looking for you, actually.” Eli smiled. He offered to take Faith’s backpack and she let him carry it. “You already put some sort of spell on me.”

  Faith smiled. She couldn’t tell if Eli was being sincere or that was the same line he used on many other girls. “How so?”

  “I never noticed you before and yet I’m carrying your backpack,” Eli glanced over to Faith. “I normally don’t do this.”

  “Why am I the exception and not the rule?” She asked.

  “Because you’re a good girl.” Eli replied back. “You’re different.”

  “I’m not naïve.”

  “I didn’t say that.” Eli defended.

  “I’m not gullible.”

  “I didn’t say that, either.” He smiled.

  “I’m a virgin,” Faith blurted. She immediately stopped walking with Eli. She silently cursed herself and closed her eyes tightly. Why did she feel the need to admit that information to Eli? Why would he care? Great. Now getting into her pants was probably a priority for him and she just gave him directions on how to do so.

  “That’s cool.” He quietly replied.

  Faith opened her eyes. “What?”

  “I think there’s something nice and sweet about a virgin.” Eli shrugged. He had already figured Faith was a virgin but he didn’t want to make too many assumptions. He had heard too many stories of the children of preachers. “It doesn’t make me look at you any differently.”

  “I guess everyone is expecting me to be some sort of wild child because of my dad,” Faith explained. “I’m not innocent, but I’m not a slut.”

  “You’re explaining yourself to me and you don’t have to,” Eli replied, “I really wouldn’t care if you weren’t a virgin.”

  Faith began walking with Eli again. “I thought most guys love being a girl’s first.”

  Eli briefly remembered his first time with Simone. He had never been so damn nervous in his life. It was an experience he would rather forget and not repeat. “I guess some guys do.” They walked up to her homeroom and waited by the door. “So….”

  “So…” Faith repeated with a smile.

  “Would you like to have lunch with me?” He asked. “No hand-holding. No kissing. No hugging. I doubt I’ll even shake your hand.”

  “I’m a virgin, not contagious, Eli.” Faith corrected.

  Eli smiled at his own foolishness. “I might hold your hand if you let me.” He replied. “Is that better?”

  “That’s much better,” Faith smiled, “and yes, I would like to go out to lunch with you.”

  When lunch broke, Eli met Faith off-campus at the mall not too far away from the school. He paid for her meal and they conversed about everything under the sun. Within the hour, Eli’s point of view of Faith had changed. Maybe he thought churchgoing girls were innocents, prudish, and lived in a bubble. Faith was the opposite. She knew about current events, talked about her love for hip-hop and R&B music, and had a love for sports. She loved everything that had to do with hair and was eager to study to be a cosmetologist.

  She was perfect.

  Her name was Faith Sheppard but Eli knew she was going to be Faith D’Amato. He felt a strong pull from her he didn’t feel even for Simone. He couldn’t explain but he just wanted to be with Faith. Forever.

  “I think it’s time we should be heading back, don’t you think?” Faith glanced at her watch.

  Her voice jerked Eli out of his daydreaming. “Um, sure.” He smiled and gathered both trays to put them away. He then led Faith to his car and they headed back to school. Once they arrived, they sat in the parking lot for a while listening to music in a comfortable silence.

  “I would love to date you, Faye,” Eli broke the silence when one song ended.

/>   It was a nickname Eli would always call her, and Faith fell in love with it immediately. “We only spent an hour together, Eli. You don’t know me.”

  “I want to get to know you.” He persisted. “I know you’re a traditional girl and I respect that. But I just want to see where this goes, Faye.” He grabbed her hand and lightly rubbed it with a thumb. “Is there something wrong with that?”

  Little bolts of magnetic energy zapped through Faith’s core as Eli rubbed her hand. “I told you, you were bad for me.” She shook her head.

  “How am I bad for you?” Eli purred. “I’m just talking to you.”

  “You’re causing emotions within me that are not good,” Faith looked over at him, “have you ever heard of the seven deadly sins?”