Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  Eli was very familiar with the sins. He currently had a penchant for lust. “Go on.”

  “I never had to deal with any of the sins because I always kept to myself. I never had a vice. Some of my friends drink; I’m not into that. Some of my friends smoke; I’m not into that, either.” Faith explained.

  Eli had a feeling where Faith was going with the next obvious sin on the list. “There’s one you’re not mentioning…”

  Faith smiled at Eli. Just as she contemplated how much she wanted to reveal to Eli, the bell signaling for class rang. “I need to go to class now, Eli.” She got out of the car and gathered her backpack.

  “Wait a minute,” Eli rushed to her. He stood close to her and softly caressed her cheek. “You’re not going to tell me what sin is making you curious?”

  Faith sighed. “You already know, Eli.”

  “I told you, Faye, I won’t do anything that will make you uncomfortable. I’ll respect your boundaries.”

  “That’s the problem, Eli,” Faith gave a small smile, “you will respect my boundaries.”

  Faith was loud and clear and Eli soon realized the preacher’s daughter had a bit of a wild streak that was almost ready to burst. “Um, look, Faye,” he held her close, “I’m not trying to get killed, all right? I saw how big your dad is and I’m sure he’s already formed some opinions about me that are less than flattering. But I’m not going to get physical with you until I know it’s what you want. Right now, I just want to get to know you. That’s all.”

  “You’re too good to be true, Eli.” Faith smiled.

  “It’s because you don’t know me that well.” He smiled back.

  Four

  Her family was rich. Not middle-class. Not upper-middle class. Just rich.

  The home was nice. Probably one of the nicest homes he had seen in St. George. It was a two-story brick home with nice-sized yards in the front and back. A crystal chandelier was the centerpiece of the dining room, adding to the already regal-feel of the home.

  In the living room, there was a piano that was flanked by a wall surrounded with family pictures.

  Eli looked around at the Sheppard home as he sat down on one of the sofas that looked like it just came off the showroom floor. Each room was painted a different color and seemed to have a different theme. If Eli had to guess what theme the “waiting area” was, since technically it wasn’t a living room, it was rich and expensive. It had coffee-colored walls with a grandfather clock as the centerpiece. A large Bible sat on a nearby corner table with a family portrait right above it. On the walls, a Bible verse was written: I John 3:16. Eli couldn’t help but to smirk just a little. A fan of professional wrestling, he immediately thought of the connection of Austin 3:16.

  Faith’s father drove a BMW and her mother drove a Lexus. Faith wasn’t currently licensed, but Eli already imagined what her first car would be. Expensive. He adjusted his collar a little; he was already feeling a little hot underneath it.

  He was taking Faith out on their first official date. He received some tips from Nick and Kieran, who told him to pick up some flowers—a dozen for Faith and a dozen for her mother; one way to butter up the father was through the mother. Then he was going to take Faith to a nearby Italian restaurant, since he knew the owner and he could get a good discount.

  But before he could wine and dine Faith, before he could schmooze with her mother, Eli had to get past her father. He noticed the look the Reverend had given him when they met at church—a combination of ‘Who the hell are you, and why the hell are you touching my baby girl?’ and ‘We may be in church but I will whoop your ass if you cross me.’ Kieran and Nick advised Eli to play it cool and not say anything stupid. Easier said than done. Eli had dry mouth from swallowing so much, worrying he was going to piss off the great Reverend.

  After about ten minutes of waiting in the room that Eli had already nicknamed solitary confinement, David suddenly appeared with an apple, a paring knife, and a cutting board. He sat across from Eli and put the items on the side table next to him. Eli carefully watched the man as he slowly peeled the apple while humming a gospel hymn. Eli would later learn the hymn the elder Sheppard hummed was “God is Watching You.”

  “So, you’re taking my daughter out, huh?” David Sheppard said as he peeled the apple.

  Eli noticed how sharp the knife was when the light from the ceiling lamp hit it at a certain angle. David was giving Eli not-so subtle hints about what he was going to do if Eli hurt his daughter. Standing over six feet tall and built like a linebacker, it was no mistake that the pastor decided to wear a sleeveless top that showed off his bulging muscles and tattooed arms. If Eli didn’t know better, he would’ve thought the pastor just got out of county. “Yes, Sir.” Eli answered.

  “Mmm hmm,” David responded in a way that didn’t give any indication whether he approved or not.

  Eli carefully watched the pastor peel the apple, meticulously and deliberately. He was sure not going to make any sudden movements in case David had a past life as a knife thrower. He followed his brothers’ advice and kept his mouth shut and made no unnecessary chit-chat. The last thing he wanted to do was to piss off David when he was holding a sharp object.

  “My daughter is my world,” David’s voice broke the silence moments later. “She’s a good girl. She’s involved in a lot of activities and she has a new fascination with hair, which I fully support. Whatever my daughter wants, I give it to her. If I can’t give it to her, I’ll make sure I find someone who does. End of story.”

  Eli listened intently and silently nodded. “I understand, sir.”

  “Now, my daughter is pure as the fresh snow on the ground,” David continued as he peeled the apple, “and I want her to stay that way. She leaves this house a virgin, she returns to this house a virgin. If she doesn’t, what I’m doing to this apple is going to be exactly what happens to you.” He looked at Eli and his lips curled up. “You hear me?”

  “Loud and clear,” Eli nodded. Just at that moment, Faith entered the sitting area with a new hair-do: a short bob cut with magenta streaks in the front. She wore jeans and a sweater top, and carried a clutch purse. Eli stood up and handed her the roses. “You look beautiful, Faye.”

  “Thank you, Eli.” She smiled. She handed the roses to her mother. “Are you ready to go?”

  Eli thought about the interrogation he just received by David. “Oh yeah.” The couple quickly exited and sped off in Eli’s car.

  Amy put the roses in a nearby vase. “I certainly hope you didn’t threaten him like you do with the others, David.”

  “I didn’t threaten,” David cut a slice in the apple and popped it in his mouth. “I just told him what was going to happen to him if he destroyed my daughter.”

  “Oh, the dramatics,” Amy smirked. “Destroyed, huh?”

  “I know how those long-winded, wet-behind-the-ears guys who are running around here, are. They just want a girl who’s hot in the tail and don’t know how to settle. I just told him what he was to expect, that’s all.”

  “Hmmph,” Amy commented.

  David sliced another bite of apple and chewed it while he eyeballed his wife. “You have something to say? Don’t be shy now.”

  “Oh, nothing. I just remember a certain young fella who picked me up in his dad’s convertible, wearing flashy clothes, and had a smile straight out of a lottery winning.” She leaned against the doorway. “He believed in church, but couldn’t foresee himself trying to become “anybody’s pastor”—his words.” She walked to her husband and snatched an apple slice out of his hand. “And, if I remember correctly, I think that same guy spent an awful lot of time trying to get me to spend the night with him at the downtown hotel, claiming how he was just looking out for my ‘best interest.’”

  “Woman, don’t sass me.” David warned.

  Amy kissed David and chewed the apple slice. “You’re being harsh on someone when you were probably worse, Dave.”

  “How was I worse?” He defended
.

  “David, we both know your reputation before you met me.” Amy smiled. “You were running around in the streets yourself.”

  “Yeah, and I straightened myself out in the walk of the Lord,” he politely reminded his wife, “I changed my ways.”

  “Then…” Amy sat beside her husband and kissed his cheek. “…maybe you should give Eli a chance. He might be good for Faith.”

  The pastor still wasn’t convinced. “And if he’s not?”

  “Then let Faith handle him. She was raised on the Good Word. She won’t put a relationship before God, if that’s what you’re thinking. She has a good head on her shoulders.” She reasoned.

  David put another apple bite in his mouth and shook his head. “She’s my little girl, Amy.”

  Amy turned David’s head towards hers. “And your little girl needs to make her own decisions.”

  “I guess you’re right,” David relented. “Say, we do have the house to ourselves for a few hours… you wanna…”

  Amy grabbed a nearby remote and pressed it. The sounds of Luther Vandross filled their home. “I’m way ahead of you.”

  *****

  “I hope my father didn’t scare you off too badly,” Faith mentioned as she snuggled next to Eli in the horse carriage.

  Eli wanted to be honest and tell Faith that her father scared him shitless. That he had no intention of even thinking about sleeping with her. He could already imagine mounting Faith in bed with David staring at him from a dark corner, watching Eli’s every move. If that doesn’t make my dick soft… “Eh, it’s to be expected,” Eli shrugged. “I’m just glad he didn’t chuck that knife towards me.”

  After a romantic dinner and great conversation, Eli took Faith on a horse carriage ride throughout New York. Over dinner, Eli learned of Faith’s desire to be a hairstylist while she discovered his passion for drawing. Eli mentioned how he wanted to go to college and get his graphic design degree and eventually leave St. George once and for all. Faith felt a little tug on her heart when Eli mentioned his moving plans, then she felt silly. They weren’t a couple and they barely knew each other. Why should she care about what he was going to do after high school? He was free to do whatever he pleased and so was she.

  Still, the thoughts of naming their future children didn’t escape her thoughts. She even secretly practiced her name with D’Amato and was pleasantly surprised at how natural it sounded. “My Daddy can be a bit overprotective, but I guess that’s natural. I am his only daughter.” She slightly shrugged.

  “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being overprotective,” Eli rubbed Faith’s shoulder, “I would probably be the same with our daughter.”

  Faith narrowed her eyes. Our daughter? She clearly misheard him and didn’t want to pursue details. She was still embarrassed she came off as a hyper-sexed virgin, eager to give her first blow job at the slightest hint of moisture in her panties. “You would have the shotgun out and ready, huh?” She teased.

  “Shit…” Eli shook his head. “…if she came out looking like you, then yes, there would be some problems.”

  Now Faith knew she didn’t mishear him. She raised herself up a little from Eli’s embrace and turned to him. “If this is your way of smooth-talking me, it’s working.”

  Eli’s hazel eyes twinkled in the moonlight. “I like you, Faye. I like you a lot. I’m not supposed to feel this way about a girl that I barely know. I’m not supposed to be thinking about our children and all that. I’m not. I don’t know why I am with you, and I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. You must think I’m crazy as hell, but trust me, I’m not. My brothers are.”

  “Why are you saying all of this to me?” Faith wondered. She knew game when she heard it but it was different with Eli. He sounded sincere. “I know you’re a player.”

  Eli circled Faith’s hand with his thumb. “I was a player.”

  “Prove it to me,” Faith challenged.

  Eli’s eyes had a twinkle of excitement, up for the challenge. “I’m listening.”

  “If you want me, if you really want me…” Faith began.

  “Go on.”

  “You will wait until I’m ready.” She said with a bit of authority in her voice.

  “You’re telling me something I already know.” Eli shrugged.

  “You can’t be with anyone else, though.” She was quick to point out. “I’m not sucking on something that’s been inside someone else.”

  His future wife had fire and Eli already loved it. “I’m perfectly capable of being faithful, Faye.” Eli reassured.

  Faith still wasn’t sure about Eli. He sounded just like the other ones before him, promising to wait and sometime around the three-month mark, they were begging for a hand job. “What if I want you to wait three years?” She asked.

  “Then I’ll have some big-ass arms,” he shrugged.

  “What if I proposition you when I’m drunk and grinding on you?” She asked.

  “I’ll enjoy the lap dance.” Eli smiled.

  Faith thought quickly. “What if the world was falling apart and the only way we could save it is by you sleeping with me before I was ready?”

  “And wow, you have a really active imagination.” Eli laughed.

  Faith grabbed both of Eli’s hands and looked into his eyes. “I know I’m being silly and what-not, but my virginity is the only thing I’ll have once, and that’s it. I want to be sure that the person I’ll give it to is worthy of it.”

  “What about premarital sex and all that?” Eli knew he was playing with fire, messing around with the daughter of a famous preacher. He could already predict the whispers and rumors that would follow them both. Eli would have to be on his best behavior, not out of respect for Faith, but for her family reputation. The thought of doing so was a heavy weight on his shoulders. “Assuming you’re talking about us having it before?”

  “I was taught it was best to wait until marriage, but I’m also a realist. I would rather wait until I’m in love with someone and see a possible future with him.” She quietly replied.

  “Do you see a future with me?” He asked.

  Faith thought about how much she wanted to reveal to Eli. That she had already picked out a name for their first son? That she started scribbling Mrs. Faith D’Amato on her notebooks? That she was eager to learn a little Italian? That she hoped their children would have the smoothness of his tawny skin with a mixture of her features? She softly sighed and decided to reveal, once and for all how, she felt about him, but the words were lodged in her throat. “I… I… I.”

  Eli focused on the soft moisture of Faith’s lips, begging him to kiss them. His lips brushed against hers a couple times, silently asking for entry. When Faith opened her mouth to accommodate, Eli devoured her lips. His tongue swept the inside of her mouth, playing with the rough smoothness of her tongue as Faith softly moaned into his mouth.

  Damn. Just hearing her soft moans turned Eli on. He trailed his lips down to her neck and soon found out that was her spot as her back arched and she willingly gave him more access. She tasted like honey and vanilla. He imagined if her neck tasted that sweet, the rest of her body was going to make him addicted.

  He wanted to explore her body from the softness of her breasts to the heat between her thighs. He found his hands wandering towards the direction of her thighs and quickly stopped himself. Instead, Eli wrapped his arms around her as she writhed and squirmed with desire, softly breathing his name and not being able to control her desires. His cock twitched underneath his jeans, begging for release. If it was one of the hood-rats he had dated before, she would already be riding him until his cock was raw.

  Faith was a good girl. She wasn’t a whore. She wasn’t easy. Even though she wanted him at that moment and he probably could’ve taken advantage of her, he wasn’t going to. It was more than that she was a virgin; she wanted him to be her first and only. Eli couldn’t explain it, but he felt the same way. He wanted to be the only one Faith would ever be with. He felt somet
hing fiercely territorial about it.

  Faith on was another planet, her head softly shaking from side to side and her eyes fluttering between coherency and orgasmic mindlessness. It seemed the more he kissed her neck, the more inexplicable sounds came out of her mouth. Guttural. Feral. Intoxicated. Eli’s lips were magnetic. They were dangerous. They were powerful. They set her body aflame and she wanted to drink more from his cup. She never imagined her first kiss would be so erotic. She never imagined it would have her tingling down to her core. She already felt the slight dampness of her panties and was eager to continue.

  Just when Faith was about to suggest they go to a hotel, Eli reluctantly broke away from her so he would be able to stop before he couldn’t. Breathing hard, he cupped Faith’s face within his hands and touched heads with her. “Again, Faye, anima mia…” Eli began. “…do you see a future with me?”