Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “Well then, hurry your ass home and make me some tiramisu.” Faith laughed.

  “Sure thing. Anything you want. I’ll see you in a little bit, baby. Love you.” He hung up the phone and turned to Simone. “The ceremony is ready and some guests started to come in. I’m finished with the reception area and I’m about to head upstairs to decorate the honeymoon suite.”

  “Oh?” Simone was surprised. “I usually do that.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know that.” Eli replied. “In that case, I can give you the petals and what-not so you and your staff can handle it.”

  “Better yet,” Simone was playing with fire with her request, “why don’t you help me?”

  Eli being alone with Simone in a hotel suite didn’t sound good in theory nor in action. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?” Simone asked.

  “Because I want to sleep with you.” He stated, matter-of-factly. “There, I’ve said it. I want to have sex with you and it’s a really bad idea that I be in a hotel suite with you, Moni.”

  Eli’s revelation did nothing to simmer the undeniable heat brewing between them. “I thought we were trying to keep this professional?” Simone asked.

  “We are and I want to. But I can’t risk being alone with you again.” Eli paused. “Especially in a hotel suite.”

  “Is it bad I want you to sleep with me, too?” She revealed.

  Simone’s admission caused Eli’s cock to uncontrollably swell. He briefly contemplated risking everything just to see her lips wrapped around his cock. Still, he kept his composure. He still wasn’t sure if he truly wanted Simone or if it was his lust for her that was spiraling of control. Either way, it was a good idea he stayed where he was and not venture upstairs with her. “Why, yes, it is.”

  Simone breathed hard, trying to calm down her desires and heat before it boiled over to a point of no-return. “What do we do now?”

  Eli walked closer to Simone and pressed her close to his body. He had a hand on the small of her back to keep her still. “You’re going to decorate the hotel suite… without me.” His lips brushed against her ear. “If you need assistance from Madre’s, you can ask Marco. He has a thing for you, anyway.”

  Simone closed her eyes and once again reveled in Eli’s cologne and strong arms surrounding her body. “I hope you told him I was unavailable.” She quietly said.

  “I think that’s a conversation you two can have.” Eli pulled away from Simone and winked at her. “We’ll be in touch, Moni.” He then left.

  Simone let out a deep breath and stared at Eli leaving the reception area. The cards were laid out on the table. Now it was just a matter of time to see which one was going to play their hand.

  Twelve

  “Look at me, baby girl… look at me…” Eli instructed to Faith as he pumped in and out of her. “Your eyes on mine.”

  Faith re-focused her attention on her husband as she tightly gripped the straps of the sex swing. Her feet were in stirrups and her thighs were spread wide, with Eli standing in between them. He held onto her back as he continued to pound inside her.

  Eli was wearing her out.

  It had been a non-stop sex marathon since he arrived home from the wedding. Faith figured out the pizza they had for dinner was merely fuel for Eli’s sexcapades. He seemed a little too eager to put Nathan to bed. He looked anxious from the time he arrived home. But the moment their bedroom door was closed, it was on.

  Eli didn’t just want to have sex in the bed. He went into their walk-in closet and dug out the sex swing, something they bought a while back and never had the chance to use. He constructed it in seemingly record time and wasted no time getting Faith into the contraption. Doggy-style was the first position, followed by reverse cowgirl. Now they were doing a variation of missionary and Faith was sure she wasn’t able to feel her legs.

  “Eli…” Faith panted as he continued to slide in and out of her. She tightened more around him, signaling an orgasm was approaching soon. “…I’m about to cum, baby.”

  “I want you to,” Eli taunted, “I want to feel you all over my cock, baby girl.”

  Within moments, Faith exploded and Eli quickly covered her mouth with his, muffling her moans. Her body shuddered against his and she soon fell limp. Eli continued until he reached his orgasm shortly afterward.

  Faith collapsed on her husband’s body and felt him breathing hard against her. The sex between them had always been on point but that night, in particular, it felt like Eli took it up a notch. “You’re going to get me pregnant, baby.” She laughed.

  “Hey, you make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” Eli chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind another D’Amato running around here. Would you?”

  Faith wanted more children but after all they went through to conceive Nathan, it took a lot out of her both emotionally and mentally. Every month she had to use ovulation predictor kits, take vitamins, timed intercourse, watch what she ate, what she drank. And every month, her period would show up like clockwork. It was a process Faith was in no hurry to repeat despite Nicola’s prediction. “I don’t know yet. I kinda like things the way they are. You, me, and little man.”

  “Yeah, but you always said you wanted Nate to have siblings because you never had that.” Eli helped Faith to get out of the swing and walked to the bathroom with her, “I think now’s the time to start trying again, don’t you think?”

  “I don’t know, Eli,” Faith shrugged. “It’s a lot already, with the salon and Nathan. Maybe in a year or two?”

  “Maybe you can stay at home,” Eli turned on the water and felt it for the right temperature.

  “No, that’s not going to happen.” Faith stepped into the large shower and let the hot water beat on her skin.

  Eli got into the shower behind his wife and splashed some water on his face. “You’re not even going to consider it, Faye?”

  “What is there to consider?” She responded. “I didn’t go to college and then cosmetology school just to stay at-home with the kids.”

  “You can run a salon out of the home?” He suggested. “You can work at home and watch over the kids.”

  Faith turned around and gave her husband a disbelieving look. “I want you to bring Nathan to work one day and see how it is to watch him and run Madre’s. Easier said than done, partner.”

  “I just think you should consider it, that’s all,” Eli tried to calm Faith’s growing temper. “I’m not asking you to give up your shop or your career. I think you can do both, still. I just want you to be at home a little more.”

  Faith and Eli finished bathing themselves in silence, an inexplicable tension brewing between them. Normally, Eli would know what he did to piss Faith off or have a guess as to why he made her mad. This time, however, he was clueless. A great evening with delicious food and fantastic sex turned sour within moments. “For real, Faye? You’re that upset at me for suggesting you stay at home with the kids?”

  Faith turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. She put a finger to her lips and looked down at the floor, contemplating what she wanted to say. She then looked back at her husband. “Tell me this: when was the last time Kieran and Nick tried to convince their wives to stay at home?”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Faye…”

  “Do you think Tiana Morris is known just as the wife of Kieran D’Amato? Or is she known as Tiana Morris, the financial guru? Is Zerrin just Nick’s girlfriend and soon-to-be baby mama? Or is she Professor Campbell at NYU?” Faith stated. “Nick and Kieran didn’t try to take away their careers.”

  “You are putting words in my mouth, Faye,” Eli gritted his teeth. “I have never suggested you stopped running the salon. I merely said you can run it from home.”

  “Do you want me barefoot and pregnant as well?” She countered.

  “Faye, you’re not being fair here.”

  “I’m not being fair? You certainly weren’t being fair asking me to stay home.” She replied. “I guess it’s different that I came
from a modest background and not a life of privilege like my sisters-in-law.”

  “A modest background? Your parents gave you whatever you wanted!” Eli defended. “Do you not remember the house you grew up in?”

  “That was then, this is now.” Faith countered.

  “Is that what this is about? You’re jealous of Tiana and Zerrin?” Eli asked. “Yeah, they both came from money but their backgrounds aren’t anything to brag about, especially Zerrin’s.”

  “My point, Eli, is that they’re not known for just being someone’s wife or someone’s mother. They have their own identity; you’re asking me to give up the one thing that I still have as me.”

  “I never said you needed to give up the salon, Faye. Damnit!” Eli put his hands on his hips. “I said I wanted you at home more. I’m not going to apologize for wanting my wife—and not a daycare or a nanny—to raise my children. Maybe I’m little more traditional than my brothers. It was a trait about me you didn’t mind when we first started dating.”

  “I also didn’t mind the part of you who was open-minded about a woman’s role in the marriage.” Faith suggested.

  Eli shook his head. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with his wife and it was better they just went to their respective corners and have a time-out. “Fine.” Eli went to their bedroom and hurriedly put on his clothes. He grabbed his keys and started to walk down the corridor to the front door. “I’ll be back later.”

  “And where are you going?” Faith questioned. “We’re not done here.”

  Eli briefly turned around and caught a glance with his wife. “Oh, I think we are.”

  ****

  Eli drove to Gino’s and found a seat at the bar. He briefly wondered if Faith was currently pregnant and just didn’t know it yet. It would explain why she started a fight with him and he could just blame her emotions on her hormones.

  But he knew she wasn’t pregnant. He remembered she got the IUD inserted a short while ago because she didn’t want to be surprised with a pregnancy when she was trying to expand her salon. He agreed at the time because it was a decision they both agreed and decided on. But now, Eli was getting babies on the brain again and wanted to expand his brood. He thought Faith would like the idea of staying at home with their children and running the salon from home. They could purchase another floor in their apartment building and do renovation for Faith’s salon. Maybe they could have a nanny from Kieran’s business stay temporarily, until Faith got into the swing of things.

  It all sounded good in his head. In his head.

  Eli took his drink outside to the balcony and lit up a cigar. He puffed on it a couple of times and looked out at the New York skyline. He was having problems at work because of Simone. He was having problems at home because of Simone, he could admit that. The sex with Faith had increased in frequency and quality since Simone came back into his life. If he had enough sex with Faith, Simone would be an afterthought. But that was the problem—Simone was always in the background.

  And now she was standing beside him. “You seem distracted,” Simone joined Eli at the balcony.

  Eli took another puff of his cigar and blew out the smoke. He turned to Simone and smiled at her. Damn, with her hair down and the loose curls softly bouncing, it made Simone look more incredible than before. Even her looks were tempting Eli to do unfathomable things to her. “It’s been a long day,” he finally commented.

  Simone took the cigar from Eli’s hand and puffed on it a couple times, her lips hugging the long cigar and then pursed together to blow out the smoke. It may not have been sexual but to Eli, it was the hottest thing he had seen in a while. “Faith?” She passed the cigar back to Eli.

  Eli shook his head as he took the cigar from her and puffed on it. “You know me too well.”

  “What’s going on, Eliodoro?” His name rolled off her tongue.

  Eli took a sip of his bourbon and stared out into the sky. “Everything she wanted, I made sure she got it. Anything she wanted, I made sure she had it. She wanted to go to NYU and not a community college. She couldn’t afford it so I paid for it. She wanted to go to the best cosmetology school and I paid for it. Her clothing, hair supplies, those damn Louis Vuitton bags.... she couldn’t even pronounce Bvlgari, but she knew she wanted it. She wanted a nice diamond ring. Any woman would be happy with what was given to her but she wanted an upgrade so I found the biggest diamond I could at the time. It satisfied her for a while until she said it was too small.

  “But did I complain? Did I ever say she was being unreasonable? No. I nodded and kept my mouth shut like any other husband. And yet, I ask her to consider—not do—but just consider staying at home with our son and possible future kids and she acts like I’m trying to change everything about her.” Eli shook his head. “It’s like, I give her everything she could possibly want and yet when I ask for something in return, I’m the freakin’ anti-Christ.”

  “Have you told her how you feel?” Simone asked. “You’re complaining to me, but does Faith know about your feelings?”

  “I told her she wasn’t being fair and I was only making a suggestion, not an order. It doesn’t matter, though,” Eli took another sip of his bourbon, “even when she’s wrong, she’s always right.”

  Simone smiled at Eli. It seemed the more she saw him, the more attractive he became. The butterflies were dancing in her stomach and a swell of emotions filled her heart. She could honestly say she wasn’t just in lust with Eli—she was in love with him. She felt particularly stupid giving advice to him about his wife. “Maybe you need to give her some time. This isn’t a conversation that’s going to happen overnight, Eli, especially if she has a successful business on her own. In defense of Faith, you practically did tell her to give up the shop just to stay at home and be a housewife. What if she told you to stop working at Madre’s and stay at home with Nathan? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled with that suggestion at first, yourself.”

  Eli slightly shrugged and took another puff on his cigar. “Maybe.”

  Simone stepped closer to Eli. “Maybe… I’m right?” She smiled. “But something tells me this conversation isn’t just about you wanting Faith to stay at home.”

  Eli exhaled a sharp breath. “I love being a husband. I love my wife with all of my heart. I knew the moment I saw Faith, I was going to marry her. I knew it and felt it. She knew it and felt it, too. And when we had Nathan? That was the cream on top of the cake. We were on and off for years but we always came back to each other. Even when I was out, messing around with other girls during our breaks, I always came back to her and she waited for me. You see, out of the five of us, I was always big on relationships. Kieran was burned by Jalara and was interested in starting over out in LA. Nick was too focused on academics to be in a long-term relationship with anybody. Joey and Tony, well, they’re vying for Pimp of the Year.” Eli chuckled and Simone smiled. “And maybe it had something to do with our upbringing. Maybe because the way our dad just up and left us, that’s why we all treat relationships differently. But I always knew I wanted a family of my own and I got that with Faith.”

  Simone noticed Eli’s pregnant pause. “There’s a ‘but’ somewhere in there…”

  “But I’m wondering if it was too much, too soon. Maybe we should’ve dated a little bit longer. Maybe we should’ve been married for a while before we started trying to have a baby. We went through five miscarriages. Five. I’ve known couples who stopped trying after three and we kept on after five before Nathan was just our miracle child. Do you know how it feels to announce a pregnancy just to unannounce it a few weeks later? We were so paranoid with Nate, we didn’t even announce that pregnancy until Faye was well into her second trimester. But not having children wasn’t an option. And maybe all of the miscarriages took a toll on our marriage? Who knows?” He took one last puff of his cigar and put it out on a nearby ashtray. “I do know that I’m not happy. I just don’t know why I’m not happy.”

  “How long have you been feeling this wa
y?” Simone asked.

  “It’s been on and off for a while but it really picked up full steam ahead when something happened a short while ago,” he mentioned.

  “Oh?” Simone was curious. “And what was that?”

  He then turned to Simone and let out another sigh. “You.”

  Simone knew where the conversation was going and was not about to take part in anyone’s failing marriage, despite how much she loved him. “Eliodoro…”

  “Moni, are you going to tell me that you didn’t feel anything that other night in the parking lot? That you didn’t feel anything between us? Come on, now.” He was closer to her, their bodies pressed against each other. “We both know how we feel about each other.”

  “Yes, and we both know you’re very much married,” Simone shook her head. “Don’t put the struggles in your marriage on me. I’m not the reason why you’re having problems with Faith, Eli.”