Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  “I’m a bigger fan of yours,” the blonde purred in his other ear.

  “It seems you have your hands full, partner,” Victor winked at him. “Now are you happy?”

  Darren knew Victor didn’t understand what he was saying but it wasn’t the time for semantics. His friend just treated him to a potential threesome and he would be a fool to turn it down. “I’m satisfied for the time being, yes.”

  ****

  “Moni, I’m home,” Eli called out to Simone.

  Simone raced from the kitchen and jumped on her boyfriend, wrapping her legs around his waist. She planted a series of kisses on him as he walked over to the couch. “Hey, hey, hey…” Eli smiled as Simone kept kissing him. “I missed you, too.”

  Simone sighed and smiled. Eli was truly the highlight of her day. “It’s been a long day, baby.”

  “Oh?” Eli asked. “What happened with your day?”

  Where did Simone want to start? The lecture she got from Pepper at the office? Or the polite verbal smackdown Nicola gave her at Madre’s? Both talks made her feel like a Class-A asshole. “Well, I had a visit with your mother.” Simone grimaced.

  “Oh?” Eli got off Simone and sat beside her. “What did she say?”

  Don’t do anything that could make me want to destroy you… “She just told me she wouldn’t be very accepting of our relationship but she would be cordial towards me.” She answered truthfully.

  Eli shrugged. He briefly wondered which brother was the one who broke the news to her. She didn’t call him or send any word that she wanted to speak to him. She would’ve said something already but was remarkably silent on everything. It was then Eli knew his mother was very, very upset with him. “Well, that’s to be expected,” Eli defended his mother, “I’m pretty sure I’m on my mother’s shit list right now.”

  Simone playfully ran her fingers through Eli’s hair. “Have you spoken to her at all?”

  “Not yet,” Eli admitted. It was bad enough his brothers threatened him in not-so many words and made him feel like the black sheep of the family. He was so upset by their reactions, he opted to call off work for the week so he didn’t have to deal with Joey’s attitude and give him some time to cool down. His mother still expected Eli over to Sunday dinner, however, and he already dreaded that visit. “But I’m sure that conversation is coming.”

  “Baby, I want to talk to you about us.” Simone began. “I think it’s time we actually talk about what we really want out of this.”

  “What we really want out of this?” Eli repeated. He just got with Simone the night before and she was already giving him “The Talk” that every woman seemingly gives her boyfriend when she wants clarity on their relationship. Eli normally wouldn’t have a problem with “The Talk” if they had been dating for a while and were straddling the line between just fucking around and being serious. The major issue was they only got together just twenty-four hours ago. “What are you talking about?”

  “I just want to see where your mind is with us and our future,” Simone grabbed Eli’s hand. “I know it’s really soon and all but I just want to see that we’re on the same page.”

  “What page are you on, Moni?” He asked.

  “I see a future with you, Eli. I see us being together. I see us possibly getting married and giving Nathan a little brother or sister,” she confidently smiled. “But if I shouldn’t think those things, I need to know now so I can cut my losses.”

  “So you can cut your losses?” Eli repeated. “Moni, we just started dating last night. I can’t promise you anything until I work something out with Faith. I’m still legally married to her and she’s the mother of my son. Not only that, but I’m also a co-partner in her salon we need to talk business with that as well. I can’t promise you anything until I speak with Faith first.”

  Simone’s nose upturned and her chest slowly rose up and down in frustration. “And when do you plan to speak with Faith?” She folded her arms.

  Eli glanced at Simone, then away from her. “Don’t start that shit.”

  “What shit?” Simone defended. “Can I at least know what’s going on with my boyfriend’s divorce so I don’t get too excited about our future?”

  “Moni,” Eli said with a bit of tension in his voice, “do not start that shit now.” He got up and headed to the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the kitchen and cracked it open, taking a nice long gulp of the amber liquid. It was bad enough Eli got flak from his family for being with Simone. He really didn’t need more flak from Simone for not divorcing Faith.

  After a few minutes, Simone followed Eli into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed against his back. “I’m sorry, baby. I just want to be with you with no strings attached. I don’t want to compete with Faith or anyone.”

  “I understand that, Moni,” Eli took another swig of beer while a free hand caressed her arms. “But I need you to be patient for the time being. Let me handle things with Faith the way I need to. I’ll let you know if there’s a hiccup along the way.”

  “Okay, baby.” She nibbled on his earlobe. “I’ll be patient, Eli.”

  A low groan emitted from Eli’s lips. “Is that a promise, Moni?”

  Simone’s hands moved down to Eli’s belt buckle and she hurriedly unbuckled him. She undid his jeans and reached in to massage his growing cock. “I promise to be a good girl, Eli.”

  “Mmm…” He moaned. “…how good?”

  Simone turned Eli around and took a swig of his beer. She then kneeled down and began to suck his cock with beer still in her mouth, the carbonation tickled his cock as her tongue twirled around his shaft. Eli leaned against the kitchen counter and calmly sipped his beer, occasionally looking down at the beautiful sight of his girlfriend sucking him off.

  On second thought, life wasn’t that bad.

  Seven

  It was supposed to be a romantic evening. He made reservations at one of the finest restaurants in all of New York. He had string quartet play music. He asked Nick and Zerrin for romantic poems from the Shakespearian era to recite. It was going to be the night when he would finally pop the question to his girlfriend and be done with all this boyfriend-girlfriend mess. They were two grown people in a loving, committed relationship. He was tired of referring to her as his girlfriend. It sounded too childish. He didn’t like to call her his lady friend. It sounded too platonic. But calling her his wife? Oh yes, that’s what he wanted.

  Maybe it was going to happen some night, but not that night. Art read Nicola’s face and it was clear she was anywhere but on their date. He had heard about Eli’s marriage through the other sons and he couldn’t say he didn’t share the same disgust and disbelief in Eli’s actions. It seemed like he was so in love with Faith and would do anything for Nathan. Then he just left. He just inexplicably left, without so much as a warning. No chance for a discussion. No wanting to meet with a counselor. Eli just packed up and left. Who knew how long he was with the other woman? Was it just her or had there been others?

  Just as Art was in disbelief about Eli, he could tell it was tearing Nicola up inside. She barely touched her food and just entertained conversation with Art. Her mood did seem to brighten when the string quartet made an appearance. Maybe the whole night wasn’t lost, after all.

  “You must think I’m the worst girlfriend ever,” Nicola shook her head and pushed her dinner plate away. “I’m just so sorry, Art. I really didn’t mean for this to be so horrible.”

  “No, not at all,” he wiped his mouth and reached over to hold her hand. “I know today was something no one was expecting and I know there are no words I can say that could possibly offer you any sort of comfort. Nic, I just want to let you know that whatever you need from me… whatever the other sons need from me, just ask and I’ll see what I can do.”

  Nicola was silent for a long moment as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I could still remember it like it was yesterday. Giorgio woke up and just started in on me. The house is a mess… you�
�ve let yourself go… the kids are all running around like wild animals… I didn’t sign up for this… and he ranted for an hour. He wouldn’t stop talking. He berated the life out of me. And those were only the nice things he had said. I refuse to repeat what other filth came out of his mouth.

  “And then he just left. No ‘Let’s talk about it’. No ‘I just need time alone.’ He just up and left me to raise the boys. He never came by to see how they were doing. He never sent them any cards for their birthdays or Christmas. He never called. Do you know how many nights I stayed by that phone, thinking he was going to call and ask if he can come home? Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep because I was just so angry? Angry I had to raise five sons alone. Angry I had to work two jobs to make ends meet. Angry I was given this life… this life that I didn’t want, this life I didn’t ask for. I prayed to God every day and often, asking Him, begging Him, to bring my husband back to me. And it didn’t happen. Instead, I received divorce papers.

  “I raised my sons the only way I knew how. I taught them to treat women right. I taught them to be on their best behavior and I didn’t want to hear about them running around in the streets. And I thought I did good.” Nicola sniffled. “I thought I did good.”

  Art got up from the table and kneeled in front of Nicola. “Nic, listen to me. You’re a great mother and an equally amazing nonna. You did a fantastic job with all of your sons. They all have college degrees and their own careers. They don’t have to depend on you or anyone else. They give back to the community and always make it a point to see you. You accepted Tyson with no hesitation and spoil Nathan and Gianna rotten. And I’m sure when Pietro arrives, he’ll get the same treatment. You can’t beat yourself up for what Eli did. Honestly, no one knows why he did what he did and we all hope he will soon come to his senses. But don’t think you’re a horrible failure because of what one son did. I say four out of five ain’t too shabby.”

  Art’s comment made Nicola laugh and she blotted her tears with a napkin. “Even on my worst day, you always know how to cheer me up.”

  “I wouldn’t be a good partner if I couldn’t.” Art smiled. “But I hope something else will cheer you up tonight.”

  “Oh?” Nicola wiped her nose with the napkin. “What is it?”

  “I know my timing is off and this was probably the worst night to do this,” Art reached into his pocket and dug out the little ring box. He opened it to reveal a three-diamond ring. “but I hate waiting to see you smile. Now, Tony recommended a jeweler who comes into his barber shop so I went to him. Kieran told me what type of ring you liked, and Nick and Joey helped me pick out the ring, so, if you don’t like it, please blame them.” He laughed and Nicola smiled. “Nicola D’Amato, will you marry me?”

  “You always know how to put a smile on my face even when I’m feeling the worst of the worst.” She sniffled through tears.

  “It’s my goal to keep that smile for as long as we’re together,” Art promised. “So, what do you say? You want to take a chance on this old fart?”

  “I would love to be married to you, as long as I can keep my last name. I’ll hyphenate, though.” Nicola smiled.

  “I didn’t expect it any other way,” Art slipped the ring on Nicola’s finger and kissed her. “Now, can you do me a favor? Can you help me up? I’m not as young as I used to be.”

  Eight

  Faith sat on the toilet and silently cried for an hour, stifling her tears by biting down on her fist so she wouldn’t wake Nathan.

  The day after wasn’t as bad as the previous morning. She actually got a little sleep the night before. She was even able to eat a little. Yet, emotions were still raw. She felt her heart shatter with each cry. She could admit she slept a little easier the night before, but she still tossed and turned. She had to crack open a bottle of wine from the mini-bar just to give her some rest. The thought of doing so made her angrier at Eli. She always made it a point not to drink in front of Nathan, or any children. Now she needed to have a glass of wine so she could fall asleep.

  Bastard. How dare he give up on his family so easily? How dare he just walk out on them without a fight? And then the asshole had the nerve to get mad at her for wanting to take their son on a vacation so they could escape from everything? He was out show-boating his newest piece of pussy and there was Faith, playing the new role of single mother, lines she had yet to learn and memorize.

  How could she hate someone with the same fervor she once loved?

  Faith quickly wiped her tears and turned on the shower. If she hurried, she could shower and be ready before Nathan woke up. It always seemed to take him forever to get ready. Faith then remembered Eli always took care of that so she didn’t have to. “I swear he’s going to grow up like his Zio Joey and Lord help us all if that happens,” Eli smiled at her.

  “Better his Zio Joey than his Nonno Giorgio,” Faith muttered. She was in the middle of getting undressed when her cell phone rang. Eli was calling her. Faith shook her head and watched the phone buzz on the countertop. What on Earth did he have to say to her? To rub his relationship with Simone in her face? Faith ignored his phone call and stepped into the shower. Maybe after she showered, she would be of sound mind to deal with her ex.

  She closed her eyes and let the hot water beat on her skin, washing away the prior day’s dirt and grime and, hopefully, the anger she felt in her heart. She would need to adjust to being a single mother. She would need to figure out a schedule between her and Eli regarding Nathan when she returned to Harlem. Where was she going to stay? The house was in Eli’s name, a purchase he made before they got married. Great. Now she needed to look for a new home. What about her salon? Eli was also a partner in that and invested a significant amount of money into it. She would need to buy him out.

  She leaned against the tile and wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. She would have to buck up and move on. There were single mothers in worst positions than she was in. She was wealthy and lived in a million-dollar home, and not on the street wondering when her next meal was going to be. Single mothers came into her salon all the time, exhausted about their schedules but still thankful for what they had.

  Faith would have to prove to everyone she was fine before Eli, and she would be doing just fine without him.

  ****

  It was weird not seeing his son in the mornings. Nathan always woke up early and climbed downstairs to watch cartoons on the big-screen TV in the family room. He would patiently wait for his mother and father to wake up a short while later and feed him breakfast. His favorite was always pancakes. His favorite fruits were strawberries and blackberries. Eli was getting ready to teach him how to love vegetables before everything happened.

  Before everything went to shit.

  Your actions affected our son, who wondered why Daddy wasn’t around to make him pancakes. Faith’s words haunted Eli that morning. He had never gone without seeing his son for more than two days and it was usually due to short romantic weekends with Faith. Now she’d taken his son away from him. Granted, it was only for a vacation, but there was no telling how things were going to be when they returned home. Was Faith going to fill Nathan’s head with evil thoughts about his father? Was Nathan going to hate him?

  Eli rubbed his face and stared out into the New York morning. Nathan was probably still asleep in the hotel room. Eli slowly shook his head upon the thought. He was supposed to take his family on vacation to Florida as planned. He was supposed to introduce his son to Mickey Mouse and all of the characters. He was supposed to be there as Nathan ooh’d and aah’d at everything.

  He needed a break. That was Eli’s justification. He needed a break from Faith. He needed a break from Nathan. He needed a break from always doing the right thing. He was so busy trying to be the good brother who always helped out a stranger that Eli didn’t realize how unfulfilled he was. He wasn’t happy in his life but he didn’t know what could make him happy. What he did know, however, was the thought of losing everything made
him sick.

  He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to start up some coffee. As the coffee brewed, he played with his phone, scanning through pictures of his family and fondly reminiscing on good times. He decided to man up and stop playing games. He acted unreasonably with Faith earlier and she had every right to throw him out of the house. They were going to be a part of each other’s lives for eternity because of Nathan. It was time they started to act like adults for the sake of their son.

  He placed a call to Faith.

  ****

  Faith stepped out of the shower and felt instantly better. It was amazing what a shower could do a sista’s spirits. If she timed herself, she would be fully dressed and order room service before Nathan woke up. That gave her a total of five minutes. Not much time but she had worked on less.

  She was getting dressed when the incessant buzzing on her phone distracted her. She briefly checked her phone and saw that Eli left a message. What in the hell does this fool want? Faith was tempted to just delete Eli’s message without listening to it but she decided to be the mature one about everything. In case there was a drawn-out court battle between them, she didn’t want any evidence coming back to haunt her that she was unreasonable.