Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

  Nicola had dealt with many celebrities over the years, but felt the real stars were the women at Donne Forti, Italian for “strong women.” Just as the walls on her Madre’s shops were filled with numerous A-list celebrities and socialites, the walls at Donne Forti were filled with many graduates dressed in business suits, posing with their children, all with bright smiles on their faces. Women who had come from nothing and through training and hard work, but most importantly confidence, gained everything.

  None of that mattered at the moment. None of it. Her mind was on other matters.

  Every Thursday, Nicola and Eli had lunch together, just the two of them. She had a close relationship with all of her sons, but her bond with Eli was remarkable. They weren’t just mother and son; they were best friends and he told her everything, good and bad.

  It didn't shock her that he kept Simone a secret from her. She didn't hear it from Eli, though; she heard it from Nick, who was trying his hardest to refrain from speaking in profane language in front of his mother. Her other sons weren't so respectful and voiced their displeasure as violently as they could. Tony, her son who always had something to say and never that smart, was absolutely speechless and remained silent. Had she known about Simone, Nicola would've intervened and she couldn't say if her actions would've hurt or helped the situation. She might have inadvertently encouraged her son by telling him no. Reverse psychology, that’s what it was called.

  She wondered when Eli was going to show his face around her. He wasn't completely avoiding her, but Nicola knew Eli wasn't going out of his way to see her. It had been two days since it all had happened, and Eli hadn’t said a single word to his mother. Not a text message. Not a phone call. She wasn’t sure if he was still going to show up for their weekly lunch but a quick text from him let her know he was on his way.

  She had mixed emotions. The son who was the dependable one. The son who always seemed to have his stuff together more than the others. All of her sons were responsible but there was something special about Eli. Nicky was very serious and fully concentrated on academia. Kieran was the sensitive soul, pouring all his energy into his childcare. Joey was Mr. MBA and didn’t want to settle down with anyone, focusing all of his attention on turning Madre’s into a huge chain. Tony was very content with his barber shop, though he did briefly mention he was thinking about expanding.

  But Eli… Nicola couldn’t put a finger on it. He just had that IT factor her other sons didn’t have. He would be the first to go out of his way to help a customer, sometimes driving all over New York to pick out the right setting. He was the one who made the necessary trips to other states to find the perfect rose. Maybe that’s why his affair was so shocking. Eli simply didn’t seem like the type.

  "I'm sorry, ma," Eli’s voice was so low, it sounded like a whisper. "I'm sorry."

  Nicola didn’t realize how long Eli had been in her office. She was staring off into space for so long, she didn’t notice he had walked in and sat down right before her. Nicola remained silent for a long while, ingesting the apology. She knew he was apologizing for a number of things: walking out on his family, disregarding the vows he took before God, having the family find out not through him and Faith, but through the gossip chain.

  And, if Nicola had to guess, Eli was apologizing for not being man enough to work on his problems with his wife before deciding that leaving her was the only option.

  “We should get going before we lose our reservation,” She finally spoke.

  Eli expected his mother to say more, much more. He expected her to scold him, curse him out in both English and Italian, and pray to the heavens. Instead, she did nothing. She said nothing. She carried on with her business as if everything that had happened—simply hadn’t.

  Nicola was usually very opinionated, voicing her opinion no matter what the conversation was. It didn’t matter if she was right or wrong. If she had something to say, she said it. It was that moment Eli realized how angry his mother was at him. She had absolutely nothing to say. “Okay, ma,” Eli got up, “let’s go.”

  “Before we do, Eliodoro, I have to do one thing.” Nicola grabbed her purse. She walked up to her son and with all of her might, she reached back and slapped the taste out of his mouth. Eli looked at her, stunned. “Now, I’m ready to go.”

  Eleven

  Faith finally understood why all of her single girlfriends quickly rebounded after a failed relationship. They were a great way to get over someone.

  Over the course of a week, Darren had accompanied Faith and Nathan to various theme parks and tourist destinations. He kept a low-profile, wearing a hat and sunglasses to shield his identity. He didn’t think he would be recognized, though. He blended in enough with everyone else that no one would notice who he was unless they stared at him.

  Though Darren was proving to be a nice guy, Faith kept her guard. She couldn’t stand the thought of getting involved with anyone, especially if she wasn’t sure what was going on between her and Eli. They had spoken briefly during the week and Eli spoke to Nathan a few times to see how he was, while carefully ignoring the obvious elephant in the room. How were they going to tell their son they were divorcing?

  Are we getting a divorce? Faith wasn’t sure and to make matters worse, neither was Eli. Each conversation they had, divorce wasn’t mentioned. Hell, a legal separation wasn’t mentioned. It seemed Eli was just as confused as to what he wanted as Faith was. It was clear, however, he didn’t want to be with her at the moment.

  “You never did tell me what’s going on with you and Nate’s father,” Darren propped himself on his arms at the park.

  Faith shrugged and paid attention to Nathan feeding the ducks nearby. “We’re not together at the moment,” she replied quietly.

  “I kinda figured that,” Darren glanced over at Faith, “not your fault, I gather?”

  Faith scanned her memory briefly of the marriage. Was she a bad wife? Sure, she lost her temper every now and then. She and Eli were known to have some pretty explosive fights and be angry at each other for days on end. She had locked him out of their bedroom on more than a few occasions. Immature? Yes. A bad wife, though?

  For the first time she could remember, Faith hesitated answering that question. She was so used to blaming everything on Eli; it never did occur to her that she was probably just as guilty, if not the guilty, one. Did she push him away? Did her actions encourage him to leave?

  “Faith?” Darren asked.

  “Um…” Faith shook her head, hoping to relieve herself of the guilt that suddenly plagued her. “…I can’t honestly answer that.”

  “Did you leave him or did he leave you?” Darren inquired.

  “I really don’t want to talk about this now,” Faith stood up and walked a small distance away from Darren. She folded her arms and continued to look at Nathan, who was having the time of his life feeding the ducks.

  Darren got up and followed Faith to where she was. “I’m sorry for crossing a line I shouldn’t have.”

  “Nathan has no idea what’s going on between me and his father,” Faith cleared her throat, “and that’s because I have no idea what’s going on between me and his father. All I know is one day, I’m happily married and later on that day, my husband is no longer living with us at our home.” She glanced back at Darren. “So you can do whatever you want with that information.”

  Darren didn’t have to read too much into what Faith revealed. He gathered the chain of events happened very recently and Faith was very much raw and vulnerable from everything. He knew something was up when he spotted her ring finger and noticed the fresh tan line on it. She’d never taken off her ring before then. “When do you go back to New York?”

  “Tomorrow morning,” Faith answered and already dreaded the trip. She was supposed to meet with Eli the moment she landed in New York. She was so embarrassed by what was going on in her marriage, she hadn’t even told her parents what happened.

  “I want to go back with you,” Darren replied
.

  Faith turned to Darren with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, you must’ve been sacked one too many times because I know you didn’t just suggest that.”

  Darren smiled. “I live in Brooklyn and I need to report to training camp next week, anyway. We can share a plane ride.”

  “We sit in coach,” Faith replied, “and our plane is full.”

  “I’m pretty sure an upgrade to First-Class will take care of that,” he winked.

  Faith let out a small breath. “Okay, Darren, I need to set some rules, here. I’m not trying to be your girlfriend. I’m not trying to be your groupie. Your friend? Sure. Your friend with benefits? My 401K is empty, all right? I appreciate the things you have done for me and Nathan this week but I have to say no to the…”

  Before Faith could continue with her soliloquy, her lips were captured by Darren’s. His lips were minty, sweet, and incredibly soft. The tingles in her stomach grew to flutters and she soon got lost in his kisses. She briefly closed her eyes and held onto his back as the kiss became prolonged. Sweet. Passionate. Sensual.

  Darren reluctantly pulled away from Faith and caressed her hair. “You were saying?”

  Faith’s eyes fluttered open and she almost forgot where she was. “Huh?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  ****

  He is going to love this. I just know it. He’ll probably rip it off me.

  Simone modeled in front of the dressing room mirror at Victoria’s Secret, eyeballing a purple baby-doll number she’d picked up. Now that she had Eli, it was going to be a challenge to keep him and keep it fresh. He had already told her he loved seeing her naked, and she didn’t require clothing, but Simone knew it would get old after a while. The sexiest thing a person could have is imagination and she wanted Eli to explore her body like an unwrapped Christmas gift.

  Not that he hadn’t been unwrapping her body that entire week. Eli proved to be a lover with an insatiable appetite, making love for hours and perfectly capable of having multiple orgasms of his own. She learned her favorite position was sex standing up. Her legs would be cradling his waist and Eli would cradle her ass as he moved inside her. Ooh, he always talked dirty to her, asking her if she was his dirty whore and if she wanted some more of his hard cock.

  Damn. Simone fanned herself in the dressing room. The memory was making her wet.

  “Girl, did you hear the latest gossip with those D’Amato boys?” A woman next door said to her friend.

  “What gossip? Did one of them finally get married or something?” Her friend replied.

  “Nah, girl. You know the one that works at the floral shop? The one that does all those designs?” The first woman replied.

  “Yeah, what about him?”

  “Yeah, he and his wife split. Word around the campfire he’s with some trashy ho now.”

  “What?” The friend replied. “When did this happen?”

  “Sometime this past week,” the first woman replied, “one of my friends works at the salon the wife owns. Told me the whole story. She heard it from one of the barbers that works with the brother next door to the wife. Fool left his wife in the middle of the night for some skank-ass pussy.”

  “Not a surprise,” the friend replied, “A man can have the best meal at home and will still be digging in the garbage like if he never ate.”

  “For real,” the first woman sucked her teeth, “I hope that new chick doesn’t get too comfortable with the brother, though. How you get his ass…”

  “…is how you lose his ass,” the friend finished and the ladies howled in laughter. They left the dressing room shortly after.

  Simone sat down on the bench, soaking up what she just overheard. Why Eli left Faith was not her fault and she loathed the fact people were unfairly blaming her. What about Eli? Why wasn’t he at blame? Why did she have to be the skank? Why did she have to be called the rude names? Eli was no saint himself.

  If the women heard the information from Faith’s hair salon, it only gave Simone one option to clear her name and straighten this whole mess out. She was going to have a talk with Faith, woman to woman.

  Twelve

  “Daddy!” Nathan ran to his father, who quickly scooped him up in a big hug.

  “Little man!” Eli held his son and gently rocked him. It had only been a week, but it was the longest he had gone without seeing his son. Nathan seemed like he’d grown a foot overnight and was sporting a nice tan when he returned from Florida.

  “Daddy, guess who I met in Florida?” Nathan beamed.

  “Who did you meet?” Eli put him down.

  “You have to guess!” Nathan exclaimed.

  “Um, okay. Mickey Mouse?” Eli guessed.

  “No!”

  “Minnie Mouse?”

  “No!”

  “The seven dwarfs?”

  “No!”

  “Okay, I give up,” Eli squatted down to his son, “who did you meet?”

  Nathan put down his backpack and pulled out a picture. “This guy!”

  Eli grabbed the picture from his son and slowly rose. It was Nathan and Faith with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. That wasn’t the problem. The issue was the other person also in the picture with his family. He immediately recognized the blond man as Darren Matthews, famed New York Giants quarterback. All-American boy. Darling of the press and many groupies. He knew about Darren due to the frequent visits his assistant made to Madre’s on his behalf. He sent flowers to various women all over New York. He was a known player and there was a long line of women competing with each other to be Mrs. Darren Matthews.

  There was one more to add to the list—Faith. She was a number on Darren’s list, whether she knew it or not.

  Eli wouldn’t have had a problem with Darren being in the picture if it wasn’t for the fact he was awfully close to Faith. An arm was wrapped around her waist, while the other hand was on Nathan’s shoulder, as if he was saying, ‘this is my family.’ If Eli didn’t know better, he would’ve assumed Faith and Darren were a couple and Nathan was their son.

  Oh, hell, no.

  It took all of Eli’s strength to not crumble the picture and set it aflame.

  “Do you like the picture, Daddy?” Nathan bounced.

  “Yeah,” Eli cleared his throat and handed the picture back to his son, “it’s a nice picture.”

  “I’m going to put it next to my bed so I can see it every morning when I wake up!” Nathan ran inside the home.

  “That’s… that’s… great.” Eli caught eyes with Faith walking towards him. He helped her with the bags and followed her inside the home.

  “Thanks, Eli,” Faith replied.

  “Not a problem,” Eli closed the door behind him and set the luggage aside. The first question on his mind was Faith’s newfound close relationship with a non-committal professional athlete, but Eli decided to wait for another time to inquire. The last thing he needed was Faith throwing his relationship with Simone back in his face.

  Instead, he played it safe and left the door open for her to divulge anything. “So… how was Florida?”

  Miserable because of you. Wonderful because of him. Faith could still feel Darren’s lips on hers and a small smile formed on her face. She softly bit her lip and tried to erase the smile from her face before she turned around to face her husband. She had to remind herself, for the first time in a while, that they were still married. “It was good,” Faith smiled. “It was lovely.”

  Eli scanned Faith’s face for an explanation about Darren being so lovey-dovey with her in the picture. He was too close to her. He was particularly close to Nathan. But the way Darren had his arm wrapped around Faith’s waist made Eli wonder if something more than just a friendly picture occurred between the two of them. “I wanted to talk to you about support and custody, if you have a minute.”

  “Um, sure,” Faith walked to the kitchen. “Did you want anything to drink? I haven’t thought about anything to eat for dinner.”

  “I can cook, if you want,”
Eli offered, “I can whip up something for you and little man. It won’t take too long at all.”

  It occurred to Faith that she was famished. Though they flew in first-class, courtesy of Darren, airplane food only took her so far and she was too busy trying to get Nathan to eat his food to concentrate on hers. “I would like that, yes.”

  “Just relax, baby girl,” Eli’s hazel eyes sparkled as he headed to the kitchen and began to retrieve various pots and pans. “I got this covered. Go relax.”

  Faith leaned against the entryway of the kitchen. It seemed surreal. A week ago, she wouldn’t have given a second thought to Eli fixing dinner for her and Nathan. Now, a week later, it was odd.