Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

Faith didn’t care about Eli’s money. She was with him when he had nothing and was there when he gained everything. She had her own savings account and would do just fine if they decided a divorce was the best solution between them. She would buy out Eli’s ownership in MillionHair and she would completely own her salon, if it came to it.

  The real issue was Nathan. She hated the idea of Nathan having two residences. While Nathan didn’t mind to seeing one parent a certain week and the other the following week, Faith had a big issue with that. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. They were supposed to be together all the time.

  Roses and forever, that’s what Eli promised her. That’s what she wanted from him, and not from anyone else. He swore up and down he would do whatever it took to win her back and be a family again, but how could she be so sure? What if things were fine for a while and Eli decided he couldn’t do it anymore? What if he left and stayed gone? She would look like a fool for taking him back to begin with.

  I think that’s a chance you have to be willing to take. Krista’s words rang in Faith’s ear. Her mother and Nicola said the exact same thing to her. If she wasn’t willing to forgive Eli, it was best to cut ties and begin the divorce proceedings. There was no point in dragging out the inevitable.

  Oh, the days when the only thing I had to worry about was what color I wanted to dye my hair, Faith sat down on the steps of her townhome and rested her chin on a hand. Why is this decision so freakin’ hard?

  “You look like you need a distraction,” A familiar voice appeared.

  Faith looked up and saw Darren flashing a smile. “Hey you,” she got up and gave him a hug before she sat back down. He sat beside her on the steps.

  “I was waiting to hear from you all day and didn’t. I became a little worried so I came straight here,” Darren took off his jacket and wrapped it around Faith’s arms. “Is everything okay?”

  “Actually, it isn’t,” Faith turned towards Darren. She held his hands within hers. She let out a breath and closed her eyes. She still questioned her decision and she could honestly say she wasn’t entirely sure if it was the right one. But she would never know unless she took that chance. “I’m going to go straight to the point—Nate’s father and I decided to give our marriage another shot.”

  Darren slightly nodded as if he’d predicted that was going to be the outcome of their talk. “Can I ask why?”

  “He made a mistake—a really silly and stupid one—but he’s willing to start afresh for the sake of our son.” Faith explained.

  “And how do you feel about it? You don’t sound like you’re one-hundred percent down with that.” Darren questioned.

  “You know, I often hear about women who say they would leave a man like that if he cheated on them. The ones who say that never had a man cheat on them. They’re going by what they think what they’ll do, and not necessarily what is reality.” Faith stared up at the dark sky. “I was one of those women.”

  “Faye, you know how I feel about you. You know how I feel about Nate. I respect your decision even though I think it’s a horrible one. What can I say? I’m biased.” Darren smiled and Faith grinned. “But if you ever need me for anything. If you ever want tickets to a game or just hang out, you have my number.”

  “I don’t want you to wait for me, Darren,” She turned towards him, “you deserve someone who can love you fully, without strings attached. You don’t need me and all of my baggage.”

  Darren swept his lips with Faith’s. His tongue entered her mouth while he cupped her face with his hands. His lips moved from her lips and gently nibbled her jawline before heading down to her neck, where he sucked on it, causing Faith to softly moan. “You don’t like taking no for an answer, don’t you?” Faith sighed.

  “I just want to remind you of what you’re going to be missing,” Darren’s lips moved up to Faith’s earlobe, another erogenous zone he’d discovered about her. A free hand pinched the inside of her thighs while his mouth continued to assault her neck, making Faith squirm beneath him. “And if your man comes over tonight and sees how hot and wet you are, he won’t know I got the show started for him.”

  Twenty-Six

  The singer, Meatloaf, once said he would do anything for love but he wouldn’t do that, whatever that was. As Eli sat in the office of his father-in-law, he completely understood the lyrics.

  He agreed to go to counseling with Faith so they could work on their marriage. He wasn’t prepared for Faith to suggest—and insist—her father to be their marriage therapist. Eli wanted to go to someone who was impartial, who had no idea who they were, and most importantly, who didn’t threaten him with a paring knife.

  As always, whatever Faith wanted, Faith received—whether Eli liked it or not.

  The reverend was surprisingly cordial, listening intently to all concerns raised by the couple and giving advice that proved to be helpful and impartial to the situation. The reverend made sure he didn’t play favorites and even called Faith out on some of her behavior as a wife, much to her chagrin.

  Still, Eli wanted a second-chance to make their marriage work and was willing to do whatever it took. If they failed as a couple, Eli would at least know he tried to reconcile.

  “So the last time I spoke to the two of you, Eli, you were still living in your apartment while you both talked about him moving back home. Have you moved back home yet?” The reverend asked.

  “Not yet,” Eli shook his head.

  “Was that a mutual decision?” The reverend asked.

  “No, it wasn’t.” Eli admitted.

  “Faith,” The reverend addressed her, “explain?”

  “It’s not so much that he left, Reverend,” Faith leaned forward and clasped her hands, “it’s the fact that he left and didn’t think about the consequences. I’ll admit my role in the marriage. Maybe I did nag all the time. Maybe I was condescending. Maybe I put too much pressure on him. Maybe I did punish him for stupid shit he did. I’ll admit all of that. But for him to leave me…?” She shook her head.

  “Talk to him, Faith,” her father pressed, “he’s right next to you.”

  Faith turned to her husband and looked into his eyes. She bit her lip and swallowed her emotions. “You left me. You left us. I can’t pretend that because you’re going to live with us again, everything’s okay. What if you want to leave again?” Her voice cracked with emotion and soft tears rolled down her cheeks. Eli briefly wondered how she was able to keep it together. “What if there’s another Simone or someone else who captures your attention? What if you get bored and you want to leave for good this time? I can’t go through this again, Eli, and I refuse to. If you don’t want to be with me… be with us… you need to let me know now so we can move on.”

  “Faith, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, baby girl. It was never my intention to hurt you in any way. I can’t promise you I won’t hurt you again because I will. But I can promise you for as long as I live, I won’t ever take our vows for granted or take you and our family for granted. I love you, baby girl, and I want to be with you and only you.” Eli grabbed Faith’s hand and rubbed his thumb over it. “I promise to be a better father to Nate. I promise to be a better husband to you. You two deserve the best and only the best.”

  She shook her head softly at his words. “Don’t promise me if you can’t keep it,” Faith’s voice cracked once again.

  “I won’t leave you again, Faye,” Eli pulled her close to his body and wrapped his arms around her. “I won’t ever leave you again.”

  David looked at the couple and a smile appeared on his face. He was confident, through a lot of prayer and hard work; the couple would be able to work through their issues. “I think we’re done here for today. I have some homework for the two of you.” He then leaned in towards the couple. “For one week, just spend time as a family unit. Eli, don’t go to Happy Hour with the employees. Faith, direct some of your appointments to your staff. I want you two to really spend the extra time reconnecting with each other. Watch a movie,
do a family game night, do something that just involves the two of you or include Nathan. Make it a priority to spend time together and make each other a priority.”

  Eli and Faith looked at each other and nodded. “We can do that.”

  “Very well,” David stood up along with Faith and Eli. “Gather hands now and let’s pray. Father God, we gather before You in grace and humility. We ask You to heal this relationship between Eli and Faith, to help them work on their issues as a unit and not as separate entities, to be co-parents with one another. In Your name we pray, Amen.”

  “Amen,” Eli and Faith said in unison.

  “Now, I hope to see a great report next week from you two,” David stood up and gave Faith a hug, “for now, take care. I’m going to talk to Eli for a moment.”

  Faith glanced back at her husband and then at her father. She didn’t want to worry about what her father was going to say to Eli, but it also wasn’t her place. “Okay. Eli, I’ll wait for you in the car.” She then left the office.

  Eli stood face-to-face with his father-in-law. He hadn’t seen the preacher since the separation, for fear David might make good on his promise to skin Eli like an apple if ever hurt Faith. He shoved his hands in his jeans and cautiously waited for his father-in-law to say something. “Yes, sir?”

  “Listen, I’m going to be very honest and direct with you. I don’t appreciate what you did to my daughter. I don’t appreciate how you seemingly gave up on your marriage, which was built on trust and God, to chase a fantasy. I also don’t like how my daughter felt what was good for the goose was good for the gander. I don’t like any of that at all. However, as a man and someone who has also counseled many couples, I do admire the fact that you two were willing to admit your faults and ask for a second chance. It takes a very humble man to admit he was wrong; not every man does. You could’ve blamed Faith. You could’ve blamed the Church. You could’ve blamed us. You could’ve blamed anyone but yourself and you didn’t. I admire that about you.” Dave commented.

  Eli expected the worst from his father-in-law, wondering what Bible verse he was going to use to damn Eli into hell. Instead, David showed compassion, tolerance, and understanding. He was a true man of the cloth. “Thank you, sir.”

  “Now, I’m not saying that I agree with your actions, or even that I think you did what you had to do. But what I am saying is that you have a second chance to make things right and a second chance is all you’re going to get. It’s going to take some time to win back Faith’s trust, but she loves you with all her might. She has the spirit of her mother inside her and you can’t get any better than the Sheppard women,” David chuckled, “but as long as you promise to yourself, to her, and most importantly, to God, that you’re committed to your family, you won’t stray again.”

  Eli swallowed his emotions. He truly was the luckiest son of a gun on the planet. “You didn’t have to talk to me at all, Dave.”

  “I know,” the pastor admitted, “and trust me, I had some fun at the gun range pretending you were a target. But I also know we’re human and we all slip and fall. It’s a matter of how many times we get back up, that makes a difference. Anyway, enough chatter with me. My daughter is outside waiting for you. Have a good week.”

  ****

  “Okay, places everyone! Places!” Nicola directed everyone at the wedding rehearsal. A month of planning her wedding and going through many changes finally culminated in the rehearsal. “Places!”

  The D’Amato brothers and their respective partners waited in the foyer while other family members filled the pews inside the church. The flower girls went first, followed by the ring bearers. Then it was time for the wedding party to walk down the aisle.

  “Baby, I decided that if we ever get married, I’m totally okay with just a small ceremony,” Zerrin walked down the aisle, arm-in-arm with her boyfriend, “no big weddings, and no big productions.”

  “How small are we talking, tesero?” Nick asked.

  “You, me and Pietro,” Zerrin referred to their unborn son, who was due in just a few weeks. “Maybe Jake and Lexi. Maybe your brothers and your mother. But that’s it.”

  Nick glanced at his girlfriend. Marrying Zerrin would be the icing on a whirlwind courtship and D/s relationship between them. “You’re tempting me, tesero.”

  “I just don’t want a big production, that’s all.” Zerrin shrugged. “Nothing against what your mother is doing, I just want it to be about us.”

  “Well, ma had never had the wedding she wanted so this is her dream more than anything,” Nick stood with Zerrin at the altar, “but let’s talk more about your wedding ambitions.” He winked at her then walked away.

  Tiana and Kieran soon followed Nick and Zerrin. “I am so glad we went to the courthouse,” Tiana said through a smile as she walked down the aisle with her husband, “I wouldn’t be able to stand going through this a second time.”

  “The best damn fifty dollars I’ve ever spent!” Kieran replied back.

  “Maybe we can have a renewal ceremony for our twenty-fifth?” Tiana suggested. “What do you think about that?”

  “I can do that,” Kieran smiled. “Another twenty-five years with the woman I love, I won’t mind at all.”

  Next were Joey and Zoe. “It was really generous of your mother to include me in her wedding,” Zoe quietly spoke as they walked down the aisle.

  “She really likes you,” Joey glanced at her, “it made sense that she included you.”

  “And how do you feel?” Zoe looked at him back.

  “About you being in the wedding?” Joey asked.

  “About me in general,” she clarified, “how do you feel about me?” Over the past several months, Joey had made secret trips to California to see Zoe, unbeknownst to Kieran. He stayed at a hotel at first, but began to stay with Zoe. Their relationship was no longer platonic.

  “I like you,” Joey admitted.

  Zoe tried hard to hide the disappointment on her face. She didn’t know if Joey liked her more than a friend, but she didn’t want to read too much into it. She knew of Joey’s reputation from Kieran and Tiana and played cautiously, despite how much she wanted to see him. Why did he have to be so darn charming? She understood why he had so many girlfriends, yet she was determined not to be just another member of his harem. “I see.”

  “I would love to see you again. I would love to spend the night with you for more than just a weekend at a time,” Joey caressed Zoe’s hand, “Ti posso mangiare per il dolce?”

  “I don’t understand what that means,” Zoe shook her head.

  Joey stopped at the altar and turned towards Zoe. He leaned in closer to her. “Can I eat you for dessert?”

  “Only if I can sit on your face first,” she winked.

  Joey sucked in a breath. “It’s going to be a long dinner.”

  “A long and hard one?” Zoe winked before she walked away.

  Joey took a spot next to Kieran, who stared at him. “What?” Joey asked.

  “She’s a good girl, J.” Kieran warned. “Stop it.”

  “I was just talking to her,” Joey defended.

  “She’s a good girl,” Kieran emphasized, “don’t play her.”

  The next couple to walk down the aisle was Eli and Faith. The pair surprised everyone by how friendly they were with each other. Some members of Nicola’s family were asking if they were truly broken up, based on the camaraderie and love between them. “You look stunningly beautiful, anima mia.” Eli smiled.

  “Thank you, baby.” Faith replied. “I didn’t have a lot of time to get my hair done so I just put it up in a do for tonight.”

  “It looks amazing, as usual.” Eli responded.

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but this may not be the right time,” Faith spoke.

  “Now’s a good time as ever,” Eli encouraged, “what’s on your mind?”

  “Well, I’m not with Darren anymore. Not that I was really with him to begin with,” Faith began.

&
nbsp; “Okay…” Eli nodded.

  “And I thought about what we talked about earlier in the shop and I decided it would be best for all involved that you move back home.” Faith swallowed. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  “I’ve been ready, baby girl.” Eli replied. “Just let me know when I can.”

  “There is one rule, though. You have to sleep in the guest room for the time being.” She emphasized. “Until I can trust you to share a bed with me again.”

  “That’s fine by me.” Eli replied. “I just want to be back with my family. I told you I would do whatever I can to make it up to you and Nathan. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do.” They reached the altar and Eli turned to his wife. “Ti amo, baby girl. I’m not going to give you up again.” He softly kissed her lips before he rejoined his brothers.