Where I Wanna Be

by Vera Roberts

Zerrin and Tiana smiled at each other and turned to Faith. “Sooooo…” Tiana had a wide smile on her face. “...that kiss didn’t seem platonic?”

  “I don’t know too many co-parents who suck face like that,” Zerrin raised an eyebrow.

  “We’re taking things slowly,” Faith defended her husband’s kiss, “he’s allowed to kiss me.”

  “Is that the only place he’s kissing you?” Zoe asked to laughter from the other ladies.

  “Excuse you!” Faith cleared her throat. “What I do with my husband is my business, thank you very much.”

  “Well, since you’re still uptight that means he hasn’t blown your back out yet.” Zoe commented with nods and agreements from Tiana and Zerrin. “Watch her reaction tomorrow or the next few days. I bet he’s gonna make your girl walk all bowlegged.”

  “All bowlegged,” Tiana repeated, “I know that feeling. When Kieran and I got back together, I thought he was trying to make me burst a lung from screaming so hard. You know I still have dents in my wall from the headboard banging against it?”

  “Girl, tell me about it,” Zerrin shook her head, “when Nick and I made up, we broke my bed and my couch. If I didn’t get pregnant that night, it would’ve been nothing but divine intervention.”

  Faith looked over at her sisters. “Y’all are so nasty.”

  “As we wanna be,” Zerrin replied.

  Later at the rehearsal dinner, all of the couples sat together toasting the new union of Art and Nicola. The D’Amato brothers shared heartwarming and humorous stories of their mother while Art’s friends and family told tales of him both on and off the force. As the dinner progressed, Eli and Faith caught stolen glances at each other, silently reminiscing about their own wedding day and life together.

  At the end of the dinner, the couples said goodbye to each other and they retreated to their separate suites. The D’Amato women and their children stayed with Nicola in a suite while the brothers shared a suite with their future stepfather.

  “So what do we wager?” Art asked as they gathered around the poker table.

  “Never money,” Nick dealt cards and puffed on a cigar, “only favors.”

  “Hmm…” Art rubbed his chin. “…what kind of favors are we talking, son?”

  “Hook-ups of any kind,” Joey lit up a cigar, “if you got the hook-up, place your wager old man.”

  “Hmm…” Art thought about favors. “…okay, I got one but I want to see my hand first.”

  “Bring it,” Kieran sipped on a beer and studied his cards.

  Art glanced at his cards and nodded in confidence. “Tickets to any Broadway play, anytime of the year.”

  The brothers looked around at each other in surprise and delight. “Oh, is that right?” Eli challenged.

  “K said to bring it, so I’m bringing it,” Art puffed on his cigar, “what you got, son?”

  “I say I got a weekend at the Four Seasons,” Eli placed his bet, “with two dozen of the finest roses imported from Texas.”

  “Hey, Texas got some nice roses,” Tony looked up from his cards, “I got a month of pedicures and manicures. Beat that.”

  “I’ll see your play, your hotel stay, and your pampering with a car detail courtesy of our cousin, Lorenzo.” Nick placed his bet.

  “A photo shoot for Tyson’s Heart,” Kieran placed his bet, “kid will be featured on a national level. Great exposure for the parents.”

  “A trip to Los Angeles,” Joey finally placed his bet, “with a stay at the Ritz-Carlton.”

  “The Ritz-Carlton, huh?” Art nodded, thinking of the possibilities. “I like the sound of that.”

  “It’s real swank. The bed is so damn soft, you can melt into it. And so many things to do with your girl in L.A. You can take her to the Pantages Theater to see a play, drive up to the Getty Museum, or even go to the Griffith Observatory and look at the stars.” Joey thought about all the dates he’d had with Zoe. He truly loved spending time with her.

  “How would you know all about that?” Tony smiled. “Are you spreading your pimping to L.A.?”

  “He better not be,” Kieran looked over at Joey, who simply smiled.

  “So Eliodoro, tell us… what’s going on with you and Ms. Faye? It seems you two are getting along better than ever, now that your respective partners are no longer in the picture.” Nick asked.

  “We’re trying. It’s a long road.” Eli admitted. “We’re in therapy with her dad.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Tony interrupted. “…with her dad?”

  “It was the only marriage counselor Faith wanted to see. Trust me, I didn’t like the sound of talking about our marriage with her dad, out of all people.” Eli admitted. “But he never saw us as his son-in-law and daughter. He treated us like we were another married couple.”

  “It sounds like the two of you are really making an effort,” Kieran replied.

  “It’s going to take a long time. A lot of things I didn’t know were even issues were brought up between us. It’s hard at times—hearing how much you hurt your lover.” Eli gave a half-shrug. “But this is better than going through a divorce.”

  “Have you moved back home?” Joey asked. “You might as well since you’re there every night.”

  “I moved back home, but I’m in the guest room.” Eli revealed. “But I’m working to get back into the master bedroom.”

  “Son, let me give you this one piece of advice as your step-dad,” Art chimed in, “when I first started dating your mother, she held back a lot. She refused to get emotionally involved with me. What your father did to her still has an effect, several years later. She was used to being alone with just the five of you and she was content with that. When we met at Madre’s because she was handling the department’s Christmas account, the first time I saw her I knew, that’s the one. No doubt, no questions. She was it. I just had to convince her.

  “She resisted for a while. A long while, actually. By the time I met all of you, I had asked her out no less than ten times over a period of a month. That was our second date. When I proposed to her, she still wasn’t sure because of how the first marriage turned out. And I waited for her to come around. Obviously, she did.” Art smiled. “My point is this—when a woman is broken, when she is scorned, when she isn’t able to trust, it’s hard for her to come back from that. Kieran can tell you about Tiana. Nick can tell you that about Zerrin. All of us have gone through it in some way with the woman we love. Will it take years for Faye to trust you again? Maybe. But the fact she’s letting you back home is a big step. So, you’re sleeping in the guest room? It’s better to be sleeping in your apartment like you were before. You wake up every morning and see Nate and get to make him pancakes. You come home every night and see Faye reading Nate a bedtime story. That right there, son, is worth all the counseling in the world to repair your marriage. Eliodoro, I know you messed up and you regret it. But if you want to get back with Faith, you need to be serious about it. You can’t go half-assed about it.”

  Eli set down his cards and gave Art a long hug. “Dad, where have you been all my life?”

  “I’ve been here,” Art hugged back, “just waiting for your mom to meet me.”

  Twenty-Seven

  It had the setting to be the event of New York. The much-celebrated wedding between Nicola D’Amato and Police Commissioner Arturo Rodriguez.

  Thousands of flowers from Madre’s decorated the cathedral, in shades of lilac, cream, and pink. An aisle full of rose petals led to the altar which was surrounded by several lit candles. At the end of the aisle, were Nicola’s and Art’s initials intertwined together. Guests began filing into the church and taking their seats.

  “I have to say this is probably my best work yet,” Eli stood at the back of the church, admiring the décor.

  “You outdid yourself this time, bro,” Nick joined him, “this looks phenomenal.”

  “How were you able to convince Father Thompson to have so many flowers and petals?” Kieran inquired. “Usually
churches are reserved on what they want inside for a wedding.”

  “A generous donation plus free flowers for six months,” Joey added, “amazing how people’s minds change when there’s money involved.”

  “Well, the church is a business first,” Tony replied.

  “A very profitable one,” Nick deadpanned.

  The brothers were soon joined by their respective partners. “Are we ready for this?” Tiana interlocked arms with her husband.

  “It’s not my wedding and I’m ready for it to be over with,” Kieran sighed.

  “How about you, stranger?” Zerrin smiled. “How are you feeling?”

  “I should be asking you that question,” Nick placed a hand on Zerrin’s womb, “have the contractions stopped?”

  “Here and there,” Zerrin shrugged, “we might have a few more weeks or we might have tonight.”

  “A New Year’s baby,” Tony nodded as he waited for his mother. He was going to escort her down the aisle. “I can get down with that.”

  Joey interlocked arms with Zoe and placed a kiss along her earlobe. “You look absolutely breathtaking, mi amore.’

  “You keep that up and we won’t last through the reception,” Zoe whispered back.

  “Maybe that’s my plan,” Joey whispered.

  “Mm-mmm.” Kieran cleared his throat, causing Joey to step away from Zoe, “we should be getting in our places now.”

  Eli approached his wife. She and her team spent the morning doing the hair and makeup for the bridal party, all of them wearing different styles that coordinated with the woman’s personality and looks. Faith chose to wear her hair in a half-up, half-down do, with many ringlets. It reminded Eli of their wedding day. “You look just absolutely phenomenal, Faye.”

  “Why, thank you, Eli.” She flashed a big smile at him, “you look amazing, yourself.”

  He held out his arm for her to grab. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m ready!” Faith cheered. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

  ****

  Nicola knew her wedding to Art was going to be the last one she’d ever have and she spared no expense. The reception was held at the famed St. Regis Hotel. Thousands of white flowers complimented the hotel’s rich gold décor and elegance. The wedding menu contained lobster tail, a choice of filet mignon or chicken breast, and an open bar for guests. A DJ spun old-school soul music, a request from the groom. Each guest received a mini-version of the towering wedding cake that stood about four feet high and was decorated with fresh rose petals.

  Nicola and Art sat at a sweetheart table just for them, while the rest of the wedding party shared a long rectangular table for all them. A couple of nannies from Fits and Giggles chaperoned the children at a nearby table. During the reception, all five sons got up and gave speeches, toasting their mother and welcoming their new father into the family.

  “Well, I have to say, I have never seen mamma so happy,” Kieran looked over at his mother, giggling with her new husband.

  “She deserves it.” Nick smiled. “After everything she’s done for us, she deserves nothing but the best.”

  “To mamma,” Tony held up a glass.

  The rest of the party joined in. “To mamma,” they all said in unison.

  Eli glanced down at his watch. The reception was going to be over in a short while and he still needed to put the finishing touches on the honeymoon suite. “I need to go up to the honeymoon suite and decorate it; I’ll be right back.”

  “Do you need help?” Faith leaned in towards her husband. “I’ll help you decorate.”

  A slow grin appeared on Eli’s face. He knew what his wife meant; at least he hoped he did. “Only if you want to, baby girl.”

  “I do.” Faith asked Zoe if she could watch Nathan while she stepped away for a moment and she agreed. “Let’s go.”

  Eli and Faith stood up from their table and made their way to the elevators, with everyone else at their table watching them.

  “Damnit!” Zerrin stomped her foot. “I swore they were going to hook up after the wedding rehearsal.”

  “Better than me,” Tiana shook her head as she nursed Gianna, “I had them before the rehearsal dinner.”

  “Okay, so who bet on the wedding sex?” Joey asked.

  “That would be me!” Nick nodded, as he watched his brothers pull out their wallets and pay him.

  ****

  In the honeymoon suite, Eli and Faith decorated the California king-sized bed with rose petals in shape of a heart and a trail of petals leading from the front door to the bed. A bottle of champagne chilled in ice, with chocolate-dipped fruits and cheeses on a tray in a nearby corner. Flameless candles surrounded the suite, adding to the romantic atmosphere.

  Eli stood back and looked at the suite. He thought it would feel weird decorating a honeymoon suite for his mother on her wedding day but he was very proud of his work. Despite the expected glitches of the wedding, Eli could say it was his second favorite of all-time. His first favorite wedding was his to Faith.

  He could still remember going through three dress shirts because he sweated through them. He had a couple of vodka shots before he walked down the aisle but it was nothing compared to Faith, who was clearly drunk. It didn’t matter to him, though. He was married to his soul-mate, the woman who stood by him when he had nothing, the woman who was with him when he gained everything. The woman who suffered through 15 hours of natural labor to give birth to their son.

  The woman who deserved so much more than him. The woman he would be forever indebted to for putting up with his antics. No, it wasn’t antics. She put up with his shit. A lot of it. All of it.

  She deserved more than dinners at the city’s most exclusive restaurants, shopping sprees at the country’s most extravagant boutiques, vacations at the world’s most elite hot spots, and orgasms and hollow embraces in the still of lonely mornings spent together. She deserved more than the divided attention of a man who was incapable of giving her everything she truly deserved.

  “Are you okay?” Faith’s voice broke through the silence.

  Eli shook his head and jumped back into the present. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You were staring into space. I was saying how beautiful the suite was and it was almost as nice as ours on our wedding day. It’s a close second, though.” She smiled.

  “Faye, um, can we talk for a moment?” He asked.

  The worry in Eli’s voice concerned Faith. “What is it? Is everything okay?”

  “No, it’s not.” Eli admitted. “Everything’s not okay. Let’s talk in my room.” He walked out of the suite and headed towards the elevators. Faith quickly followed him. When they arrived at his room, Eli sat down on the bed and Faith sat next to him. “Listen to me, and just listen. I really, really fucked up. I can admit that. I walked away from you, from Nathan, from our marriage to chase some high school fantasy, when it was a nightmare in disguise. And I know nothing I can do is worthy of your forgiveness. I know there aren’t enough flowers in the world, enough fancy handbags, and fancy jewelry to make you forgive me for being such a tool. I know this and I’m willing to accept that. And if you don’t want to get back with me, I understand. I’m not worthy of you.”

  Faith chewed on her bottom lip. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry at the wedding because she spent a lot money and time getting her face done and she didn’t want to look like a raccoon at the end of the night. Still, the tears streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks. She licked her lips and glanced up at the ceiling. “Eli, I’ll tell you the same thing I told you when you proposed to me the last time,” the memory caused a chuckle from the couple, “I don’t believe in divorce. It’s not an option for me. So I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. Stuck!” She laughed at him.

  “I don’t deserve you,” Eli sniffled, “I truly don’t.”

  “I know,” Faith agreed, “but you need to understand that you married a woman who was raised in the Church. It would be silly of me to ask forgiveness from God
when I can’t even forgive my husband. Now, it’s going to be a long road. We’re going to be in therapy for a while. It’s going to take some time for us to move past this but if you’re willing to go the distance for me, I’m willing to go the distance for you.”

  Eli wiped away a tear. “You mean it?”

  Faith held out a pinky. “You wanna swear on it?”

  Eli interlocked pinkies with his wife. “I swear on it.” His lips hovered over hers briefly before capturing them. Faith felt the soft waves of desire course through her body as Eli gently parted her lips with his tongue. She forgot how skilled his tongue was, how it created quivering heat within in her belly, crawling all the way up to her neck.