by Lacey London
‘I’m guessing that Janie told you about Dan and Lianna?’ Nodding in response, she looks down at her feet. ‘Well, it might not look like it right now, but she has been pretty cut up about it. Between me and you, this isn’t what I would do for a hen do either, but sometimes you have to do things that you don’t really want to do for the sake of other people. We might not always like it, but we do it because we love them. Do you know what I mean?’
‘Clara, I have lived with your father for over thirty years, of course I know what you mean.’ Furiously folding her jacket, she turns a slight shade of pink. ‘Do you think that I like picking up after him? Do you think that I enjoy his never ending golf trips? Do you think that it makes me happy to spend every hour of every day looking at the same four walls, just waiting for your father to come home so that I can take care of him some more?’
Completely losing the ability to speak, I stare at my mother open mouthed. I don’t think that I have ever heard her raise her voice before. Not knowing quite what to do, I place my hand on her arm. What is the correct thing to do when your mum has the equivalent of a nervous breakdown? As I am trying not to panic, I hear her breathe out sharply.
‘Let’s go and see if Janie and Lianna need any help checking in.’ Removing my hand from her arm she flashes me a stiff smile.
And just like that, she is back to herself again, cool, calm and collected. What the hell is going on? Grabbing my case I run into the hotel after her. Thankfully, Janie and Li are waiting for us inside.
‘All right, we got two rooms.’ Janie waves two room cards around manically. ‘Who’s going in with who?’
Chapter 32
Waking up next to Lianna was not a first for me. There has been many a morning that I have complained after waking up with a mouthful of blonde highlights, squashed up next to a wall. However, this morning I honestly don’t mind as Janie definitely got the short straw. The thought of sharing a room with my mother for the next few days was more than I could handle right now.
Slipping out of bed, I twist my hair into a tight bun before dragging on a swimming costume. Lianna looks so blissfully asleep that I don’t want to wake her. Thankfully I don’t have to, as a loud banging on the door does it for me. Running across the tiles I open the door to reveal my mum. Complete in a classic monochrome swimsuit with matching sarong and sun hat, she looks like a catalogue model from 1952.
‘Good morning! You look great! I love the hat.’ Stepping aside for her to come in, I motion towards the bed. ‘We have just got up.’
Taking a seat at the dressing table, my mother turns a funny shade of green as Lianna rolls out bed in nothing more than a pair of knickers.
‘Morning, Mrs. Morgan.’ Lianna mumbles, stretching her arms out over her head. ‘Where’s Janie?’
‘Good heavens, Lianna! Put some clothes on!’ Tossing her a towel, my mum looks away in revulsion as Lianna grabs a bikini and dashes into the bathroom.
Laughing out loud I quickly brush my teeth and toss the essentials into a beach bag. Once I have applied a quick layer of SPF I am ready to go.
‘OK, I’m ready.’ Heaving my beach bag up onto my shoulder I make my way to the door.
‘Me too.’ Chirps Lianna, adjusting her itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini.
‘Finally!’ My mum mutters under her breath.
‘I heard that.’ Pushing her into the lobby, I roll my eyes as the door slams shut behind us. ‘By the way, you never did say where Janie was?’
*
Trudging through the hot sand, I dump my beach bag next to a lounger and throw down my towel. I should have known that Janie would be at the beach. All she has done since the second she arrived in England is moan about the shocking weather. Spotting her familiar pink heels, I wave Lianna over.
‘I think I found her.’ Kicking off my flip flops I twist my toes into the sand.
The weather is fantastic considering that it is so early in the year. Looking up at the clear, blue sky, there isn’t a cloud in sight. Hopefully this will stop Janie’s moaning even if it is just for a few days.
My mother offers me a disappointed wave from her safe spot in the shade. Ever since I was seventeen and let slip that I had used a sun bed, she has fed me horror stories about skin cancer and made a point of staying out of the sun. I wouldn’t mind, but it has been ten years and let’s face it a little sun wouldn’t do that pasty skin of hers any harm. Pulling over a lounger for Lianna, I get ready to soak up some rays. It has been ages since I last felt the delicious rays of the sun on my skin. After a bad British winter, it is easy to forget what the sun feels like.
Tossing me a bottle of tanning spray, Lianna flips down her straps confidently. ‘Can you do my back for me? I don’t want to burn.’
Rubbing the coconut oil into her skinny shoulders, I look around again for Janie. If her beloved shoes are here then she can’t be too far away. The beach is practically empty so it shouldn’t be too difficult to find her. After a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure that my mother is out of earshot, I decide to tackle the subject of Dan.
‘So, how are you feeling now?’ Handing her back the bottle I lean back on my lounger.
‘I’m feeling good! A little hungry maybe, do you want to eat? I’m pretty sure that the beach bar is open.’
‘I mean, how are you feeling about the whole Dan situation?’ I hold my breath as the word Dan escapes my lips. ‘One of us had to mention him sooner or later.’
Lianna’s brow furrows as she dusts sand off her thigh. ‘I’m honestly feeling OK about it.’
‘Really?’ I screw my nose up suspiciously. ‘It’s OK to be upset about this you know. Personally, I don’t know how you’re holding it together. I would have had a complete meltdown by now.’
For a moment Lianna falls silent and I wonder if I have done the right thing by bringing it up.
‘Dan’s done this before, you know that.’ Turning to face me, she slips off her Raybans.
Unfortunately I do know that. I know that he has done this to many women, not just Lianna.
‘Ever since we got engaged I was just waiting for this to happen. Day by day I could feel it creeping up on us, like a bad case of the flu that just gets worse and worse. I’m actually surprised that we made it this far.’ Shrugging her shoulders, she reaches for her water. ‘But I’m honestly fine, I would rather find out now than ten years down the line when I am in over my head.’
‘Well, I want you to know that I am so proud of you.’ Feeling a tear prick at the corner of my eye, I decide to change the subject before I crumble. ‘Right, did you say that the beach bar is open?’
Seeing her face light up at the mention of food, I reach into my bag for my purse.
‘Would it be wrong of me to have a cheeseburger for breakfast?’ Licking her lips greedily, Li jumps to her feet.
‘If you even need me to answer that then we can’t be friends. I’m going to see if my mum wants anything.’ Lifting my bag onto my shoulder I slip my feet into my flip flops.
I haven’t even taken my first step when Lianna’s voice pierces my ears.
‘OMG!’ Bursting into hysterics, she points towards the sea. ‘Clara, look!’
Turning around, I hold my hand to my eye’s to block out the sun. Oh, no! Just kill me now. Why, Janie? Why do you hate me so much? I must point out that I have been subjected to Janie’s infamous breast enhancement once before, but for my mother and Lianna, this is an unfortunate first. Emerging from the water like the Dolly Parton of Baywatch, is a very wet, very topless Janie. I am about to run away and escape the embarrassment when a pink bikini top washes up on the sand.
Spotting the bikini top, my mother lets out a squeal. ‘Jeanette! Oh, my goodness!’
Before I can stop her, she grabs the bikini and sprints down the beach.
‘Your swimsuit! The waves must have pulled it off. Quick, put it on before anyone else sees!’ Placing herself strategically in front of Janie, she hands her the bikini top.
�
��What the hell are you talking about?’ Janie takes off her sunglasses and frowns at the label. ‘38B? Please! That ain’t mine.’ Much to the amusement of the beach bar staff, she tosses the bikini back into the water and runs up the sand. ‘You really think I could squeeze these bad boys into a 38B? You gotta be kidding me! Honey, I don’t wear a bikini top.’
‘You… you… you don’t wear a bikini top?’ The look of sheer horror on my mum’s face is comical as she tries to divert her eyes away from Janie’s breasts. ‘This isn’t one of those nudist beaches, is it?’
‘Jeez, Mother Teresa! What in the world is wrong with you? God blessed me these with these beauties and I intend to show them off!’ Jiggling her boobs proudly she flashes my mum a cheeky wink.
I am about to chip in that I very much doubt that it was God who gave her those giant inflatables, when my mother marches off across the sand. I can tell by the way she is stomping that she is absolutely furious.
‘Mum?’ I shout after her, hoping that she isn’t getting on the next flight home. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I… I think the sun is making me a little dizzy.’ Her legs look wobbly as she tries not to show how repulsed she is.
‘Maybe you’re dehydrated. Why don’t you go and have a snooze in the shade?’ I offer her a smile and motion to the sun loungers.
Nodding in agreement she steadies herself on a palm tree. ‘Yes, I think that would be breast, I mean best!’
The scarlet complexion that she has rapidly developed isn’t from too much sun. Biting my lip to stop myself from laughing, I watch her amble off across the sand. She really does look traumatised. If it wasn’t so funny then I might actually feel sorry for her.
‘Jeez, your mom has a real rod up her ass.’ Janie mutters whilst applying carrot oil to her butt cheeks. ‘She needs to get laid.’
Not wanting to tell Janie that my mother would probably rather die than get laid, I just nod in agreement. Sometimes, chalk and cheese just doesn’t cover it.
Chapter 33
Lying in bed that night next to a snoring Lianna, I admire my brown legs. After a full day of sunbathing we decided to go out to a restaurant for dinner. It took a good few gin and tonics for my mother to get over the fact that she had seen another women’s breasts. At one point I genuinely thought that she was going to pass out and Janie’s insistence that she had seen hundreds of breasts in her lifetime wasn’t helping matters. From her reaction, I’m beginning to wonder if she has ever seen her own breasts.
It wasn’t just my mum who had a shock today. During dinner, Oliver sent me a rather long email regarding Dan. Apparently they met up with this afternoon and it’s fair to say that the meeting did not go as Oliver had planned. After the desperate, I need to talk to Lianna message, Oliver and I both fully expected Dan to be a quivering, apologetic mess. Unfortunately he was nothing of the sort. It turns out that Dan needed to speak to Lianna to ensure that she knew that it was definitely over between them.
Despite Oliver’s efforts to convince him otherwise, Dan moved his things out this evening. Needless to say, I haven’t told Lianna yet. I know that she tried to reassure me that she was fine about it, but I have got an awful feeling that it is all a front. I think that deep down the reason that she isn’t completely distraught is that she really believes everything will go back to normal. They have been here many times before and Lianna has always been able to forgive and forget.
Before Dan came along Lianna was not a push over with men. I remember a time when she broke up with a guy because she didn’t like his trainers for crying out loud. There’s just something about Dan that Li can’t seem to resist, no matter what he does or who he does, she totally caves the second that he comes crawling back with his tail between his legs. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, it looks like Dan has finally tired of Lianna. I just hope that she can see this for the blessing in disguise that it really is.
Deciding that I will tell her tomorrow, I flick off the lamp. Like a band aid, quick and painless. Well, maybe not painless, but I will definitely try to get it over with quickly. Sometimes you have to remember that you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.
*
‘Thank you very much.’ Smiling at the pretty waitress I take a sip of my coffee.
God, that’s good. I am a firm believer that a good day starts with a good cup of coffee and looking at the stunning blue sky, I think that today is going to be one of those days.
‘What’s the plan for today?’ Lianna asks, applying a layer of sun lotion to her red nose.
‘Well, I don’t know about you girls, but Rose and I have plans.’ Putting down her mug, Janie smiles wickedly.
‘We do?’ My mother’s face creases into a frown.
‘We do indeed, Rose.’ Janie’s eyes widen as she pushes out her chair and stands up.
‘Jeanette, please. I have told you so many times that I prefer Rosemary.’
‘You have and if you call me Jeanette once more then I’m gonna have to kill ya.’ Placing a hand on my mother’s shoulder she lets out a frankly scary cackle.
Locking eyes with Janie, I know that she is only half joking. I’m surprised that they haven’t killed each other already to be honest. They really are like night and day. Psychically, I don’t think that I have ever met two people that are more different in my entire life, but the more time that I spend with them the more similarities I can see between the two. Until I met Janie, I always thought that my mother was the most stubborn person in the world. It seems that she may have finally met her match.
‘So, where are you going?’ Lianna rests her chin in her palm and looks at Janie expectantly.
‘I am taking young Rosemary here out for the day. Don’t worry, I’ll bring her back in time for dinner.’ Flashing us a cheeky grin Janie tugs on my mum’s sleeve. ‘Come on, Rose.’
‘See you both later!’ Lianna yells, watching Janie drag my mother across the foyer.
‘But, Jeanette, you still haven’t told me where we are going!’ Her voice is barely audible as they disappear out of sight.
‘Where do you think they are going?’ Li laughs.
‘I have no idea, but if it gives me a break from my mother then it’s fine by me.’ Finishing the last of my coffee, I drop a handful of notes down onto the table. ‘Pool or beach?’
‘Definitely pool. You should have seen the amount of sand that washed off me in the shower yesterday. It was everywhere and by everywhere, I mean everywhere.’
‘Yuk.’
Padding across the restaurant, we make our way towards the infinity pool. With it being so early in the day the pool is totally empty, making it easy for us to bag the best loungers.
Feeling the hot sun burn into my skin, I lie back and enjoy the heat. This is exactly what the doctor ordered. Thinking of Oliver back in cold, rainy England brings a wicked smile to my face. I wonder what he is doing? If I know him like I think I know him, he will be in the deli near work devouring a steak and cheese baguette. Mmm, steak and cheese. A quick look at my thunder thighs tells me to stick to the salad. I don’t want to look like a pork chop walking down the aisle.
Topping up my sun lotion, I can’t help but notice the rather gorgeous waiter who is looking Lianna up and down appreciatively. He catches my eye and blushes as he realises that I have caught him drooling. Looking over at Li I can tell that she is totally oblivious. Oh to be tall, thin and blonde. Bitch. If I didn’t love her I would find it ever so easy to hate her.
‘I think you have got an admirer.’ Giving her a quick dig in the ribs I motion towards Mr. Gorgeous.
Lifting her sunnies for a better look, Li shrugs her shoulders before rolling onto her stomach. ‘Meh.’
‘Meh?’ I scrunch up my nose in confusion. ‘What do you mean? He’s gorgeous!’
Obviously overhearing my glowing report, the waiter blushes and scurries off behind the bar.
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, it was only seventy two hours ago that I found out my husban
d to be was having it off with one of your in laws, so please excuse me if I am not in the mood for man shopping just yet.’ Roughly shoving her earphones in, she shoots me a frown.
Dammit. I should have known it was too soon to be pushing her onto other men. I knew that her strong front was exactly that, a front.
‘I’m really sorry, Li.’ Letting out a sigh I lean over and rub her back encouragingly. ‘I honestly don’t know what else to say. How are you feeling?’
‘How am I feeling? I will tell you exactly how I am feeling. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and torn into tiny pieces. I feel like I will never trust anyone ever again. I feel like I have nothing and no one.’
‘You will always have me.’ I offer her what I hope isn’t a patronising smile. ‘And Marc, Gina and Madison.’
‘I know and I am so grateful to have friends like you guys, but I want someone to hold me at night. Someone to have children with and spend the rest of my life with.’ A tear spills down her cheek as she speaks. ‘I want Dan.’
Oh, no. My mind flits back to my conversation with Oliver. Dan moved his things out. He was calling Lianna to make sure that she definitely knew that things were over between them. I’m going to have to tell her. I wait for a few minutes for her to compose herself before gathering the courage to say it.
‘Erm, I spoke to Oliver last night.’ Li sniffs and wipes her eyes on the edge of her towel. ‘Dan moved his things out.’
For a second she doesn’t say anything and I am worried that she has stopped breathing. ‘What? He can’t have moved his things out. We have a mortgage.’
Not wanting to cause a scene amongst the fellow beach bums, I guide Lianna to the toilets and fill her in on the situation back home. Praying that she doesn’t burst into tears, I wait for her reaction.
‘What am I going to do, Clara?’ She wails, slumping down against the cold tiles. ‘My life is a mess!’
‘You will come back from this, I promise you will. You are Lianna Edwards and nothing keeps you down for long, not even lying, cheating toe rags like Dan.’ I pass her a handful of tissues and brace myself for more sobbing.
