Tan Lines and Salty Kisses

by Danielle Jamie

  I slip into a pair of skinny jeans and decide since it's a little cooler tonight to wear a cami and cardigan since we’ll be by the water. I apply some mascara, light eyeshadow and lip gloss before walking back into the bedroom to find my flip flops. I don’t notice Parker’s suitcase beside the bathroom door and trip over it. Stumbling I fall forward but manage to catch myself on the corner of the bed, stopping myself from falling face first into the carpeted floor.

  Cursing under my breath at Parker for leaving his crap laying around, I turn around and go over to his suitcase to pick it up and roll it back into the closet. As I grab the handle to stand it up, I notice a piece of paper hanging out of the side the suitcase.

  Setting the suitcase back down, I bend down to push the paper back inside but stop when a logo on it catches my eye. I pull the paper out and realize it’s an envelope with Parker’s name on it. In the upper left corner is the blue Air Force logo along with U.S Air Force written under it.

  My entire body freezes as my hands shake trying to hold onto it. A million thoughts run through my head as I stare at the envelope.

  We've talked every single day for eight months and never once has Parker mentioned anything about the Air Force.

  The sound of feet stomping up the stairs snap me out of my thoughts. I bend back down stuffing the paper into his suitcase and grab the handle pulling it up onto its wheels just as Parker walks through the doorway.

  "Hey, babe. You almost ready to go?" he asks while looking down at his phone. He lifts his eyes and meets mine before turning his attention to the suitcase.

  "I tripped over this stupid thing while trying to get ready. It'd be nice if you could try a little harder to keep this damn room cleaned up," I snap as I shove it into the closet and slam the door.

  I feel bad snapping at him, but between being tired of feeling nauseous every second of the day and now finding out Parker isn't going to be applying for internships in D.C. like he had said he was has me just a tad bit frustrated. And rightfully so.

  How do he make a decision as big as what I’m guessing is joining the military after he graduates without talking to me first? Especially if he truly means it when he says he loves me.

  This is a really big thing. Now adding a baby to the mix when he could possibly be gone for long periods of time with deployments. Not to mention the possibility of saying goodbye to him and then never seeing him again.

  It terrifies the crap out of me.

  I’ll practically be a single mother with him in the military. I planned on suggesting the possibility of him applying for an internship with the Governor’s office in Georgia so that we could be in the same state while I finish up my degree in Athens. Or even possibly transferring my credits to the University of North Carolina and finishing up my degree there. I know he can easily get a job with his father allowing him to stay in Charlotte with the baby and me.

  Now I have no idea what the future is going to hold for us.

  I breathe in a deep breath as I feel Parker’s arms come around me from behind and hugging me to his chest. His hands come to rest on my waist just below my belly causing a shaky breath to release as I exhale slowly trying to keep my tears at bay.

  I can’t cry.

  I need to reel in my emotions and wait until later tonight to let the tears fall in private.

  I really need to talk to Ashlynn. See what she thinks about of all this.

  I feel awful for being a bitch to him when if I wasn't so damn moody I would probably be looking at this entire situation more rationally.

  “I’m sorry I left the suitcase out. You didn’t hurt yourself did you?” he asks as his fingers rub gently over my exposed skin peeking out where my tank top meets my jeans.

  “No. Thankfully I still have my coordination from all the years I did gymnastics growing up,” I laugh as I try to shake off the stress and lighten the mood in the room. “I caught myself on the bed. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’m just tired since your drunk ass snored most of the night last night. But I’ll feel better once we get down to the pier.”

  He kisses my neck before stepping away from me so I can finish getting my shoes on. I slip my feet into my flip flops and grab my purse, slipping it over my head letting it come to rest on my hip.

  As we’re walking out of the bedroom Parker slaps me on the ass making me jump slightly and an array of giggles to fly from my lips, “Ouch. What was that for?” I ask, glaring back at him between my laughter.

  With a cocky grin on his face he says, “That is for saying I snore.”

  Chapter Eight

  After spending the entire day listening to Vance and Chase busting my balls about needing to tell Becca about the Air Force—I swear I almost had a fucking heart attack when I walked into the bedroom and found Becca with my suitcase which has my paperwork from my recruiter in it giving me my official date for when I’ll start my boot camp in San Antonio, Texas.

  A small part of me was actually hoping she found the letter. It'd take the stress off of me having to tell her. With each day that passes the guilt eats away at me.

  I regret not telling her when I first began contemplating joining. But now with my basic training starting in three months it’s a little too late to discuss it with her.

  I can only hope after the initial shock sinks in she'll be supportive and understanding. With my college degree I have a great chance at climbing the ranks quickly. It helps that my father was in the Air Force for twenty years before retiring when I turned fifteen. Then he got into politics and worked for a few years at the Pentagon.

  He says the same future is possible for me as long as I use the same work ethic I've used all through school and college.

  With Becca earning a degree in history she can easily find a job anywhere the military takes us.

  For right now I'm trying to push all my worries into the back of my mind and try to enjoy our evening alone.

  I thought a date at the boardwalk sounded like the perfect way to spend our night together here in Daytona. Especially since Chase has planned for all of us to go to the track tomorrow.

  "You look beautiful tonight. Powdered sugar and all." I bring my finger out wiping powdered sugar from her chin. I suck it off my finger and laugh as she rolls her eyes at me before taking another bite of her funnel cake.

  "Thank you" she says sweetly between bites. "Want a bite? It's seriously the best funnel cake I've had in a long time."

  Shaking my head yes I open my mouth letting her put a small piece in. I playfully bite at her fingers as she tries to pull them away from me.

  "You bite me, I'll bite you right back." She teases as she grabs my hand and bites down on my index finger before seductively teasing the tip of my finger with her tongue.

  A low growl resonates in my chest as my dick jumps in my shorts.

  "Fuck. You can bite me any time, Darlin'. But I gotta warn you that if you keep this up I'm going to end up dragging your ass down to the beach and fucking you until the cops come and haul our asses away."

  Tossing her plate in the trash she says nonchalantly with a hint of mischief in her voice, "Maybe I want you to bring me down to the beach..." before walking ahead and smiling seductively back at me.

  I jog up behind her snaking my arms around her waist and lifting her slightly off of the ground, spinning her around. The sound of her laughter filling the boardwalk makes my heart slam against my fucking chest like goddamn snare drum. Making her happy is the only thing I care about. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she knows everything I'm doing is for her.

  I want nothing more than to give her the best life possible.

  "God I love you," I murmur into her ear before setting her back down.

  She leans against the rails overlooking the ocean and slowly runs her hands up my chest. The spark from her touch scorches my skin through my t-shirt and makes my dick ache harder to be buried deep inside of her.

  "I love you too..." Leaning up onto her too toes she grips my
shoulders to steady herself and brings her lips up to mine. Her kiss is sweet as the taste of funnel cake lingers on her lips. I moan softly against her lips as I squeeze her hips and tangle my tongue with hers.

  It takes every ounce of self-control in me to make myself stop and break away from her sinful lips before I get the point of no return.

  I may joke about fucking on the beach, but that kind of thing on my permanent record would not be looked upon lightly.

  She pouts up at me as I back away, tugging her hand to pull her further down the boardwalk.

  "I wasn't done kissing you yet."

  I let out a deep chuckle as I pull her towards the Ferris wheel. "Unless you want a cop seeing you buck ass naked with sand in places sand should never be then, I think you'll thank me for stopping that kiss."

  Cringing she twists her face up in disgust. "Good point."

  As we get in line for the Ferris wheel, Becca suddenly becomes very quiet. She's been doing this off and on all night which is unusual for her.

  Every once in a while she'll be the Becca I know and love, that's sexy, fun and quirky—but then she'll suddenly look as if she's a million miles away.

  Normally with Becca she talks nonstop as she tells me a million thoughts a minute as they pop up randomly in her head. She rarely sits still. She's always bouncing around like a ball of energy, but lately she's not been herself.

  I thought earlier maybe it was because she still isn't feeling well from whatever it was she ate last night that ended up making her sick this morning. But she's been snacking on cotton candy and just ate a funnel cake so she has to be feeling better.

  Women are impossible to figure out. Their moods change faster than the damn weather.

  I can't help but feel like she has something she's been contemplating telling me or asking me. Because this morning she told me she needed to talk to me, but then Chase and Vance interrupted us before we could get a chance to talk.

  Suddenly a thought hits me...

  What if she knows about me enlisting?

  I wouldn't put it past Chase to slip while drunk and tell Ashlynn. Or maybe she did find my letter today, but is testing me to see how long I'll wait to tell her.

  I feel like an asshole waiting this long to tell her. By the way she's acting she has to know.

  Chapter Nine

  My eyes roam over the sign at the front of the line for the Ferris wheel that states if pregnant you cannot ride. I bring my hand to my purse pressing against it as I think about the ultrasound I’ve been carrying around inside of it.

  It’s now or never.

  I need to tell him.

  My hands are shaking as I hug them to my chest and glance nervously up at him. “I’m not feeling well. Can we skip the Ferris wheel and go back to the beach house?”

  He pulls me against him as he steers me away from the line of people. “Sure. You should probably go to the ER if you’re still not feeling well. I don’t like seeing you sick, baby.”

  The sound of him saying baby makes me breathe in a sharp intake of air as we walk past the hotdog stand. The smell immediately makes my stomach flip flop as a wave of nausea hits me. I look around frantically for a bathroom and spot a sign that says restrooms above a small building.

  “I’m going to be sick!” I say frantically as I sprint towards the bathroom and run inside. I thank the lord and any other God out there that a bathroom is open so I don’t have to resort to throwing up in a damn sink.

  I crouch down in front of the toilet ignoring the fact that it’s probably the most unsanitary place on the planet and hover over it as I release every drop of food I’ve eaten in the last twelve hours or so since the last time I got sick.

  Climbing to my feet I push open the bathroom stall door and focus my eyes on the row of sinks a few feet ahead of me. I avoid all eye contact with anyone in the bathroom as I rinse my mouth and wash my hands. I’m beyond embarrassed that I just got sick in public and everyone in here heard me hurling my head off.

  Parker is waiting for me outside the ladies room. “Are you okay? I really think we should go to the ER.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t need to go to the ER Parker—because I already went last week.”

  He looks down at me with a look of confusion. “You’ve been sick since last week?”

  Grabbing his hand I pull him towards the stairs leading down to the beach. I don’t want to do this in the middle of a crowd of strangers. The second we get far enough down the beach I stop walking and tug on Parker’s hand. “Parker. I have something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay…”

  We sit down in the sand side by side staring out at the ocean with me curling up against Parker as he snuggles me up against him.

  Reaching into my purse I pull out the tiny ultrasound picture and turn on the flashlight on my phone so that he can see it better. It’s pitch black out and the sky is blanketed with a sheet of twinkling stars, giving off just enough light to see where we’re going but not enough to see a photograph of a baby the size of a sesame seed.

  “Is this what I think it is?” he asks with a shaky voice as he eyes the photo in his hand.

  “It is—I’m five weeks pregnant. The baby was conceived around Valentine’s Day when you flew down to visit me.”

  “Holy shit!” Parker says as he continues to stare down at the ultrasound image. “You’re pregnant...with my baby. How did this happen? You’re on the pill?”

  I pick at my fingernails nervously as I try to calm the nervous butterflies swarming my stomach. “I had a stomach bug the week before you came to visit. I didn’t think of it until after my period was late two weeks ago. When I was sick I couldn’t keep anything down—kind of like right now.” I let out a nervous laugh before continuing, “Anyways. I realized that all that time I wasn’t just not keeping down my food but also my birth control pills. So for four days I didn’t take my pill and had no idea. I took it but wasn’t thinking that I was then getting sick soon after not giving my body time to consume it. Then you came and we had sex multiple times without protection and low and behold a few weeks later I’m revisiting the toilet every time I try to eat or smell food and notice I’m late. So I bought a test and saw the word ‘pregnant’ appear and I swear I thought I was going to pass out.”

  “I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty shocked at the moment, too. I can’t believe we’re going to have a baby. We don’t even live in the same state. How the hell are we going to do this?”

  Tears begin to well up in my eyes and slowly, one by one they begin to fall as I think about being alone and pregnant. All I see when I close my eyes is that stupid envelope.

  “I have no idea. I can’t do this alone, Parker. I need you,” I say in between sobs.

  Hugging me tighter I feel his lips kiss me gently on the forehead and murmur, “We’ll figure out a way. I will promise you right now, you will not be in this alone. I love you and I’m going to love this baby with everything in me. At least we have a few months to try and figure out where we go from here.”

  As we sit here watching the waves roll into the shore, the tide gets higher and the water comes almost to our toes, neither of us speak. I’m silently praying that since I opened up to him about that baby that he’d open up to me about the letter in his luggage.

  Quickly those hopes begin to dwindle away as Parker suddenly climbs to his feet and takes my hand pulling me up to my feet beside him and asks me, “You ready to head back to the house?”

  Brushing the sand off of my butt with my free hand I let out a soft sigh, “Yeah. I’m feeling pretty tired. I think I’m going to head straight to bed tonight.”

  “If you need anything when we get back to the house let me know, okay? Maybe some soup and crackers will help settle your stomach before you go to sleep.”

  I shake my head no as I walk slowly beside him, “No it’s okay, I think the safest thing for me is to avoid any food for the remainder of the night. I don’t think I can handle getting sick one mo
re time this evening.”

  The second we walk into the house Ashlynn looks up from the couch where she’s curled up beside Chase and as soon as she sees my tear streaked face a look of understanding flashes across her face.

  I give her a weak smile before following Parker up the stairs and into our bedroom.

  “Becca,” Parker’s voice is barely above a whisper as he turns and takes my face suddenly into his hands. I blink up at him still teary eyed and bite on my lip as I try to keep myself from falling apart.

  “Yeah?”

  “Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset when we should be happy right now. We made a baby. Sure, it wasn’t planned and it sure as hell was unexpected. But one thing that is for certain is that this baby was created out of love. It wasn’t some random one night stand. When we made him or her, we did so while I made love to you. I know it’s scary, but everything’s going to be okay.”

  I’m emotionally and physically exhausted after trying so hard to hide my pregnancy. I want to ask him about that letter, but I’m too tired to hash that out tonight also.

  Instead I’m going to wait until tomorrow. No matter what, tomorrow he will tell me what is going on. I deserve to know. Especially now that if he’s enlisting into the Air Force it won’t only be affecting him and I, but our baby too.

  Stripping out of my clothes I climb into bed in nothing but my panties and curl underneath the cool, crisp sheets. I thought Parker would head downstairs and join everyone in the living room since it’s only a little after ten at night, but surprisingly I feel him climb into bed and snuggle up behind me.

  A tear falls from my eye and slides over the bridge of my nose as I feel his strong, warm hand come to rest over my belly as he spoons with me in bed.

  “Goodnight, Becca…” His hand rubs small circles across my belly as he whispers, “and goodnight, lil’ baby Maclaren.” He kisses and sucks softly a path along my shoulder before dropping his head onto his pillow.