Tan Lines and Salty Kisses

by Danielle Jamie

  One thing I know for certain is that Parker is an amazing man. I love with my whole heart—even more so now that I have a part of him growing inside of me. Whatever he chooses to do with his life I’ll support him even if it terrifies me.

  I want to feel like he loves and respects me enough that my opinion matters to him. Because if he decides to become an Airman and put his life on the line, I have a right to know this. Especially if he means it when he says that he wants to spend forever with me. Because now it’s not just forever with me—but forever with our baby, too.

  Chapter Ten

  “How did it go last night with Parker?” Ashlynn asks looking at me over her iced coffee.

  Shrugging, I release my straw from between my teeth and give her a half smile. “It went pretty well. He said all the right things I wanted to hear, but the real test will come once we get back to our normal lives. I also found something in his suitcase yesterday. If it means what I think it does things are about to get even crazier before they get any better.”

  Her curiosity is instantly peaked. “Do tell.”

  “There was an envelope from the Air Force. To me it can only mean one thing, that Parker is going to follow in his father’s footsteps and join the military. Which I don’t understand because he had all these plans to get an internship with a big wig Politician in D.C. his dad was supposedly helping him get.”

  “Holy crap. The Air Force!” Ashley shouts in a loud whisper as we try to make sure the boys hanging out in the pit box don’t hear us. “I can’t believe he’d make a decision that big without talking to you first.”

  “I don’t know yet what he’s doing. Maybe he just contacted a recruiter and is planning on discussing it with me, but wanted to wait until the end of our vacation so we could spend the week enjoying each other not stressing over things that can wait until later to be talked about? I don’t know. It’s the only rational conclusion I can come up with. You wouldn’t think after talking about all of our plans for the future that he’d make a decision this huge without talking to me first?”

  A racecar zips past us causing our hair to fly around our head as it pulls into an empty pit box a few feet away.

  We’re hanging out at the Daytona Speedway watching the boys play with their toys as they take turns driving Chase’s racecar around the track. We haven’t told anyone yet about the baby, but Parker made it very clear when Chase suggested taking Ashlynn and I around the track that I would not be stepping foot inside a racecar.

  Seeing him all protective definitely got my motor running. I’ve now spent the last twenty minutes sipping my iced coffee trying to cool myself down. The x-rated thoughts flooding my mind as we speak would make a porn star blush.

  Sadly for Parker when we had sex this morning my breasts were so sensitive from just waking up that he couldn’t touch them at all. He tried to suck on them and without thinking I immediately reacted by smacking him hard in the arm as I screamed out in pain.

  So there are a lot of down sides to pregnancy, but also a few upsides like my sex drive kicking into high gear. More so since having Parker around whenever the urge arises.

  “This is all too crazy. Chase has to have known. I can’t imagine Parker making a decision this big and not telling at least his best friend about it. We’ve all been one big mess of secrets this time around. Talk about a total one-eighty from our beach vacation last summer to this one now for spring break. There’s just so much going on this time around. At least we’ve all had a pretty awesome time even with everything going on,” Ashlynn says, breaking me from my thoughts. I nod in agreement as I watch Parker slip his helmet onto his head and climb into the racecar.

  “I’m a mess just thinking about him playing around in a race car for Christ sake! How the hell am I going to deal with knowing he’s in a fucking war zone?!”

  Ashlynn shakes her head as her chest bounces from her trying to muffle her laughter. “I know, every time I watch Chase climb into that racecar with forty or so other cars racing alongside him its nerve wracking. So I understand that fear all too well. I think knowing that Parker would be in a war zone with the risk of never coming home would make me want to lock his ass in my basement—if I had a basement that is—and never let him ever leave the house. All these military spouses who deal with multiple deployments are the strongest people. I have no idea how they do it. So many have children, it’s literally like being a single parent. Also, I swear this kid is going come out cursing after listening to you ‘try’ to not swear over these next eight months,” she says, reaching out and rubbing my belly.

  As soon as I ‘dropped my f-bomb’ like Ashlynn says, I cringe and cover my lips with my finger. I knew she’d call me out on it being the pain in the ass best friend that she is. “Oops I really need to get myself used to not swearing so much. I think I need to get one of those swear jars; maybe that’ll help me be a little more successful with getting my mommy mouth.” I joke before taking another sip of my coffee.

  “I think that is exactly what you need, but I like the idea of every time you swear I get a quarter. Maybe if you see your money lining my purse, you’ll be more successful.”

  “Whatever you say. But seriously, I need to know what you think I should do. Should I tell Parker I found the letter or wait and see if he tells me on his own?”

  “It’s a tough situation. I say try to let him tell you himself, but if we get down to our last day here and he’s still hasn’t brought it up, then you should. But I think since he packed that paper in his luggage to bring here on vacation that means he’s planning on discussing it with you.”

  I feel a little better as we leave the track. Talking with Ashlynn has helped me sort through the mix of emotions swarming inside of me at the moment.

  Not long after all the guys have their turns doing a lap around the track and we get the full tour of the Speedway from Chase, we all head back to the condo. All of my other friends who came to Daytona with us this week are hanging out on the beach partying. Music is blasting and there’s coolers full of beer lining the beach beside the rows of beach chairs.

  We’re having a huge beach bash tonight, and thankfully we all agreed that everyone is to stay outside. I don’t want strangers wondering around inside an expensive beach house we are responsible for.

  “Do you want to tell everyone before the party starts?” Parker asks as he climbs into a lawn chair and I get myself comfortable sitting on his lap, relishing in the feeling of his arms wrapped around my waist. His hands come to rest once again at my stomach. I’m laying on him in nothing but my bikini and watch in amazement as his large hands come to rest on my belly, covering every single inch of it.

  It’s hard to believe there’s a baby in there and that soon enough I’ll start to have a tiny baby bump where my abs are right now.

  Cheering is definitely going to be out of the picture now that a baby is in there. If I’m lucky maybe they’ll let me still cheer even if I can’t do all the stunts I normally do. I can so rock a cheer uniform with a baby bump.

  “I think it’s a perfect time to tell them, seeing as we have everyone together right now. It’ll also make refusing alcohol a whole hell of a lot easier.”

  The smile on Parker’s face is contagious. Within seconds I’m smiling so hard that my cheeks are aching. For right now, I’m letting all my worries fade into the back of my mind and I’m going to enjoy my last few days with him to the fullest. We’ll tackle the other issues that need to be discussed before we head back to college when we have time to sit down and truly hash everything out, without any distractions like drunk people running up and down the halls, or deciding it’s a good idea to go streaking through my bedroom.

  “Hey everyone! Can we get y’alls attention for just one moment? We have an announcement to make.” All eyes turn to us as Parker’s voice carries across the beach. Satisfied with the number of people paying attention, Parker rubs my belly and shouts along with me, “We’re having a baby!”

  Within se
conds we’re surrounded by all of our friends as everyone congratulates us. A few of my girlfriends hang around asking how I’m feeling, when I’m due, and what our plans are now that a baby is on the way.

  I answer every question honestly, even though our future is up in the air as for where we go from here.

  “We need to discuss where we’ll go from here since I go to school in Georgia and he lives in Charlotte. He graduates in two months so we’ll have a better idea on what we’ll do before the baby comes after he finishes school in May. Our overall goal is to have a home just for the two of us to bring our baby home to once he or she is born. I couldn’t care less where we end up, as long as we end up there together.”

  A feeling of content washes over me as I gaze up at him and see the excitement twinkling in his eyes. I know Parker is going to do everything in his power to be here for me and the baby, that is one thing I do know for sure.

  I giggle as a flutter of kisses move across my neck and shoulder, followed by his warm lips coming to my rest against my ear. “I know you’re scared but I promise you we’re going to talk tomorrow and figure everything out—I have something I need to tell you, and it’s kind of big. It’s going to affect us in a major way—but in the long run it’ll be worth it because it’s going to help me provide for you and this baby all on my own.”

  “I have faith in you, Parker. Whatever you decide you need to do, I’ll be there supporting you one hundred and ten percent.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I think it’s safe to say that I’ve spent these last two days in a semi state of shock. I still can’t believe that Becca is pregnant. I think I’ve looked at her ultrasound picture probably a thousand times since she broke the news to me two nights ago. Now that we have a baby in the mix of things I’m struggling with the decisions I’ve made over the last few months in regards to my future.

  I don’t even want to think about what my dad is going to say. My mother will probably be happy or simply not care, only because she’ll have drank a handful of dirty martinis by the time I get around to seeing her. She won’t even remember that I’ve told her come the next morning. It’s sad I don’t recognize the woman who use to be on the PTA and was the perfect football mom driving me and my friends to all of our away games when we were younger. Now she’s so far gone I wouldn’t be surprised if at times she forgets she even has a son.

  One thing I know for sure is when this baby is born I’m going to do everything opposite of what my parents’ have done. They are the poster children for ‘what not to do when raising your kid’.

  Both are so lost in their own little worlds that they couldn’t care less about mine. My father only takes the time to check on my grades and talk to me about my bright future in the political world. He sees me as this project he plans to turn into perfection, instead of looking at me like I wish he would. A son he’s proud of and wishes for me to become successful on my own so that he can truly be proud of me and my accomplishments. Most of all, to actually feel loved by the man I’ve looked up to my entire life.

  I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure my child knows he or she is loved. The same with Becca. I won’t be another Christopher MacLaren who goes through wives faster than he goes through cars. I love Becca and want to build a respectable life with her. Number one on my list of goals is build a life for myself with my own money. I don’t want anything handed to me because of who my father is. I want to move up the political ladder all on my own because of my hard word and persistence for perfection in my field.

  We’re all hanging out down at the water enjoying our last few hours in Daytona before we all part ways. We spent the last two days out on the boat tubing and wakeboarding. Soaking up as much sun as possible before heading back to Charlotte where the forecast is calling for temperatures in the forties and rain.

  What I’ve enjoyed most is being able to spend the last few days Becca and I had left together. We went back to the boardwalk this morning to walk around and get ice cream. It’s a gorgeous day and the perfect way to end another great beach trip with her. We’ve been laying out down by the water with everyone for the last hour or so, but I know with the jet scheduled to head back to Charlotte this evening I need to talk to Becca.

  She’s been acting a little off even after finally telling me about the baby. I can’t help but feel like it’s because she somehow knows about Texas and is maybe waiting for me to tell her about it.

  I asked her to follow me over to the fishing pier down the beach that is secluded with no one else around. I want to talk to her alone so we have complete privacy as we discuss what we’re going to do now that there’s a baby on the way.

  All of our plans we made over the last few months are now gone. In their wake we now need to work on mapping out a new course of action for the life we want together.

  With our fingers intertwined we walk side by side along the shore. We aren’t speaking but it’s not an awkward silence, but more of a content silence between us. It’s relaxing listening to the roar of the ocean as the wave’s crash against the sand, and slips pasts our legs before being pulled back out to sea. The sun is hot but the feeling of the cold water repeatedly splashing against our legs makes the temperature comfortable.

  “Oh my gosh. Look at those seagulls fighting over that piece of seaweed. They are so scrappy.” She laughs as she watches the two birds bounce and fly around each other as they continue to poke at the seaweed with their beaks.

  “They are some pretty crazy birds. When I went to the Bahamas a few summers ago there was one flying around with a chunk of coconut hanging from its beak. He kept landing and trying to peck pieces of coconut out while at the same time fighting off several other birds. It was quite comical. I think it's safe to say they’ll eat just about anything.”

  “Probably how I’ll be once I ever get past this damn morning sickness stage. I still don’t get why they call it morning sickness though since it seems I’m nauseous morning, noon and night.”

  “I don’t know how women do it, but I’m sure glad you do or we’d all be extinct.” He jokes as he beams down at me with a sexy smirk playing on his lips.

  “I’m nervous, but I think as long as I follow the tips I found online about healthy diets and exercise while pregnant I’ll have an easy pregnancy. I’ll most certainly be getting an epidural for our little peanut’s delivery.”

  I bring our entwined fingers up to my mouth, brushing a kiss to her knuckles. “I’m going to try my best to do whatever I can to help make this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible. That’s why I want to talk to you. I want us to figure out what we’re going to do now that you’re pregnant. I know our lives are in two different places right now, but my hope is to find a way to be together. I don’t want to miss out on doctor appointments and even little moments like watching your belly grow as our baby grows inside of you, and big moments like feeling him or her kick for the first time.”

  She brings her hand up to her stomach that’s exposed and glowing in the afternoon sunshine that’s hanging high above us in the sky directly above us at the moment. After a week of being out on the beach she has a smooth, sun kissed tanned that makes her face look breathtaking. She doesn’t have a drop of makeup on but right now she looks more beautiful than she ever has before.

  Maybe it’s that pregnant glow you hear about all the time?

  Her purple highlights are more prominent out in the sunlight making her violet eyes pop as they reflect off of the sparkling ocean water.

  Every time I look at her I swear I feel as if my heart is going to implode in my chest and I find myself wondering how I got so damn lucky. She’s everything I’ve wished for and never knew I wanted.

  We slow down as we approach the large wooden posts of the pier. There’s muscles attached to the pillars and seaweed is scattered around the sand was the waves roll in and crash hard against the wood that is weathered from the years of wear and tear.

  I look around for a secluded spot that’s
dry for us to sit on, and then lead us up the sandy hill before plopping down in the sand and motioning for Becca to sit down and rest between my legs.

  My fingers slide slowly up and down her bare arms as I bring my cheek to rest against the side of her head. I inhale deeply taking in the scent of her shampoo mixed with the smell of the sunshine and salty air and find my heart rate slowly back down as I try to relax.

  “I have something important to tell you about my plans after I graduate from UNC. I know when we talked before my plans were to take the job in D.C. that my dad set up for me. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I’m tired of my dad doing all the work to get me where I want to be. He’s done it my whole life by using his name, his power that comes with it and his money to get me anything I want or need.”

  It makes me sick to my stomach to think that friends I’ve made at school have had to bust their asses to earn scholarships to pay for college. They’re applying for internships all over the country praying they’ll get a yes from at least one of them.

  The average college kid busts their ass and gets let down multiple times before they finally get that ‘yes’ they’ve worked so hard to earn. To them it means everything because they put forth their own effort to achieve their dreams and accomplish their goals.

  I want to feel that—experience that high you get when you know you pour your heart and soul into something and receive the ultimate reward in return. . Not to say I wouldn’t love a job in a Politician’s office to get that hands on experience, and then have my dad snap his fingers and hand me my job on a silver platter.

  “That’s understandable, Parker. But also you shouldn’t feel bad because your father is using his connections to help you. I know to you it may make you feel like you don’t deserve it, but I think these people are smart enough, and business savvy enough to understand they can only bring people onto their team who’s deserving of the position. Now that we have this baby on the way,” she says glancing down at her stomach and pressing her hands over mine she continues, “I think you’d do the same for our child. You’d move heaven and earth to help them achieve their dreams.”