You Deserve Better (By Your Side Series Book 2)

by A. P. Watson

  “Did you remember the porch light?”

  “Sure did. I turned it off right before I came in here.”

  “Good.”

  “How about I get your temperature before you sip on that coffee?” I placed the thermometer underneath his tongue. “Ninety eight degrees. That sure is a good temperature.”

  The man beamed at me and took a sip of coffee. “Oh, that’s good.”

  “I’m glad you like it.” After he finished drinking half the cup, I moved forward to begin a head-to-toe assessment on him. “Here, can you squeeze my hands?” At my request, the man squeezed my fingers and then released them quickly. “Good job!”

  “I always liked it when you wore your hair tied back like this.” His fingers softly touched my braid.

  I smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  “You’re still as beautiful as the day we met.” I could feel my heart pitter-pattering beneath my flesh. This man’s sweet words and love for his wife even managed to touch a soul as tainted as mine.

  “Do you remember what year we got married?”

  “It was 1958,” he said, taking another sip of coffee. “You wore a white rose in your hair.”

  “I bet that was pretty.”

  “It certainly was.”

  My lips curled into another smile as I checked his IV. He was on a vasoactive drip to help maintain a stable blood pressure. I made sure to request another bag of the medication before exiting his room. “I have to go do a few things, but I’ll come back in a little while and help you get cleaned up for bed.”

  “Okay.”

  “You just try to get some rest and I’ll be back soon.”

  “I will, Sandy.”

  I walked across the unit and headed toward my other patient’s room. As I did with the first patient, I checked all the medications in this man’s IV, glanced over the ventilator settings, and completed a head-to-toe assessment. I’d just finished listening to my patient’s lungs when I noticed Nate standing in the doorway.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “How was your date with Misty’s friend?” he asked in a hushed voice, glancing over his shoulder.

  “Why are you whispering?”

  “Because if it went terribly, I didn’t want Misty to know what we were talking about.”

  “Am I that much of a lost cause?”

  “No, but Jackson is the most attractive man I’ve ever seen, so it’s only natural if the rebound doesn’t live up to your expectations.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “First of all, everything with Jacks happened at least four months ago, so anything I do now can’t be considered a rebound. And second, would it kill you to at least pretend to be supportive?”

  Nate slipped into the room, shutting the glass door behind him. “So, how did it go?”

  “Kenneth and I had a great time actually. We’ve been out twice and both nights have been fantastic. I like him.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “What part of ‘most attractive man I’ve ever seen’ doesn’t compute with your brain?”

  “Why are we even friends?”

  “Cool it, southern bell,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You know you can’t live without me.”

  “Kenneth is really good-looking too. He’s definitely nothing to turn your nose up to.”

  “Ooh really?”

  “He’s also a nice kisser.”

  “You sassy little minx!”

  I finished up with my patient and then crossed the room to stand next to Nate. “I don’t know about that.”

  “I heard you met up with Jackson.”

  “For the love of God. What, did that woman shout it from the fucking rooftops?”

  Nate snickered at my outburst. “I pried the information out of her.”

  “Like hell you did.”

  “Okay, so she told me.”

  “Thought so,” I replied, sighing deeply. I nervously tugged on the bottom of my braid, hoping to avoid this conversation for the third time. “Yeah, we had dinner.”

  “What sparked that decision?” he asked.

  “Well, you know I’ve been a little on edge about trying to plan an amazing engagement party for Terayn and Ryan, so Jacks offered to help me with it.”

  “That was nice of him.”

  “Yeah. We had dinner and made arrangements for the party. That’s it.”

  “I see.”

  “He’s also moved back to Chicago.”

  “Honey, I knew that.”

  “She’s a fucking Benedict Arnold,” I muttered under my breath. “He was one of my best friends and I missed the connection we had.” I blurted out the words without a single thought as to what I was confessing.

  Nate opened the glass door and flung his arm around my shoulders as he walked with me in the direction of the desk. “I know. Believe me, I do.”

  For the rest of the shift, Nate and I teamed up, administering medications and bathing all of our patients together. My elderly, confused patient called out for Sandy all night long, and every time he did, I rushed into his room. I truly felt sorry for the man. He had committed himself to a woman and had promised to love her for the rest of his life. That kind of lasting affection was commendable. And I was compelled to care for him to the best of my ability. If believing I was his beloved Sandy brought him the smallest amount of comfort, then who was I to deprive him of something like that?

  However, his situation forced me to consider something. His mind may have been riddled by dementia and age, but the person most important to him couldn’t be erased. That kind of devotion was the type Terayn and Ryan had for one another. And it made me think about another person who used to hold the same meaning to me. When the time came and the years had taken their toll, who would Jacks call out for? I couldn’t help but wonder if he would recall my face as his one memory in a fog of uncertainty. Or would the connection we shared dissipate into nothingness, as if it never even happened in the first place?

  David’s cryptic message and Nate’s sullen understanding of my situation did nothing to quiet the storm raging within my mind. Thankfully, work kept me busy, but during the few breaks I took, my thoughts came rushing back to haunt me. Despite all my denial, facts where facts. Being around Jacks felt right, and whether I liked it or not, his presence still affected me. Stupid fucking heart.

  As grateful as I was for the reprieve that work provided, my body was glad to have a night off soon. Tuesday morning rolled around in the blink of an eye, but I was too preoccupied with counting down the days until Friday to notice. Nerves ate away at the lining of my stomach, and by the time I was leaving the hospital after my shift, I was popping Tums in my mouth. Stupid fucking stomach.

  So, when I parked outside the townhouse and scaled the steps, my Tums count was up to six. I closed and locked the door behind me, crossing through the living room as I made a beeline for the bathroom. My scrubs quickly littered the floor as I waited for the shower to heat up. Tonight, Kenneth and I would be watching a movie at his place. He texted me during my last shift to confirm the details. He really was a good guy, and the more I was around him, the more my time with Jacks became a distant memory.

  The sound of my phone ringing jarred me awake. Damp strands of hair clung to my face, but I brushed them away and answered the call.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” Kenneth said. “I waited until after five to call, but it sounds like I still woke you up.”

  “Yeah, I ended up sleeping through my alarm. I guess I needed sleep more than I thought.”

  “If you’re too tired to hang out tonight, we can always reschedule.”

  “No, I’m not too tired,” I answered quickly.

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’m excited for our movie date!”

  I heard him exhale deeply through the phone. “I’m glad. I really wanted to see you tonight.”

  “I’m getting out of bed now. I’ll get ready, and t
hen I can drive over to your place.” I flung my feet out of bed and stood up.

  “Okay, good. How long do you think it will take you to get ready? I was going to order us a pizza.”

  “Like forty minutes.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll text you my address.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

  “Bye.”

  I rushed to the bathroom and began getting ready. After applying some makeup and drying my hair, I combed through the long, straight locks. When I was back in my room, I discarded the towel I’d wrapped around my chest and began selecting an outfit. Within a matter of minutes, I settled on a pair of high-waisted jeans and a green tank top. Tucking the bottom of my shirt into my jeans, I fastened the button and slid on a black cardigan. Dabbing perfume on my neck and wrists, I grabbed my phone and headed to the kitchen. With my coat on and purse in hand, I rushed outside.

  The time estimation I gave Kenneth was right on the nose, and according to Google maps, his place was only twenty minutes from mine. I followed the GPS, and before I knew it, I was knocking on his door.

  “On my way!” He called out a few seconds before the door swung open. “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “Come on in,” he said with a smile. I stepped through the threshold, waiting as he locked the door behind me. Instantly, his hand found my waist, and he planted a light kiss on my cheek. “You look great.”

  “Thanks.”

  “The pizza just got here. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.”

  “Good.”

  “So,” I began, following him through the apartment, “what movie are we going to watch?”

  “I’m not really a fan of horror movies, so I was thinking a sci-fi or action flick.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I glanced around, taking in the layout of Kenneth’s place. He lived on the second floor of a renovated brownstone. Thick wooden molding outlined every door and window around us. The wood was a deep cherry color and it added to the warmth of the space. “I like your place.”

  “Thanks.” He quickly picked up a handful of shirts off the back of the couch and set them on the kitchen counter. “Sorry, it’s kind of a mess in here. I haven’t had much time off work this week, so I haven’t cleaned.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.”

  “Would you like something to drink?” he asked.

  “I’ll take a beer if you have any.”

  “Yeah, hold on a second.” I watched as he hurried toward the connected kitchen. He grabbed two long necks, popping the cap off each before returning to where I stood. A pizza box lay on the coffee table in front of the couch, and a large flat screen sat in the corner of the room next to a window. There weren’t many decorations covering the walls, but pictures of people were scattered everywhere. I glanced at the one nearest to me. It showed Kenneth embracing a man and a woman. “That’s my brother, Rob, and my sister, Danny.”

  “That’s a great picture of the three of you.”

  “My mom says the same thing. She loves that picture.” He grinned, handing me a beer.

  “Thank you.” I took a long drink, the liquid sliding down my throat.

  We rounded the couch and he motioned for me to take a seat. “I ordered half pepperoni and Italian sausage and half veggie lovers. I should’ve asked you what you liked, but I forgot.”

  “Don’t worry about it! I’m not picky, so it all sounds good to me.”

  Kenneth placed a slice of each kind of pizza on two plates before handing one of them to me. “You ready to start the movie?”

  “Yeah.”

  I dug in to the food while he pulled up the movie. Blade Runner 2049 started, and even though I’d watched it before, I curled up beside Kenneth, content to have such good food and company.

  When the movie finished, I downed the rest of my second beer. Kenneth snagged the empty pizza box and napkins, tossing everything into the trashcan. I grabbed the dirty plates and placed them in the sink.

  “I think your phone is buzzing,” he said as I joined him on the couch.

  “Oh, okay.”

  I reached into my purse, pulling out my phone. The buzzing was due to a new text message from Jacks.

  Jacks: I think you should forgo nursing and consider a career as a sleep therapist. You really helped me a lot the other night.

  Me: Hmm. If I were a sleep therapist, my main job skill would be putting people out. It kind of makes me sound like a badass assassin.

  Jacks: You already are a badass. You pole dance.

  Me: True.

  Jacks: I’ve actually been considering hiring you as my personal sleep therapist.

  Me: What would the benefits be like? Because you’re going to make or break the situation with your dental plan.

  Jacks: I would let you pick whatever plan you wanted.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle at his answer. Jacks always knew how to close a deal—a skill he had refined over years of working with powerful companies.

  Me: You always did enjoy making bold choices.

  “Who are you talking to?”

  The sound of Kenneth’s voice pulled me from the daze I’d been swept up in.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. Jacks was just texting me about the party this Saturday. He keeps teasing me because I’ve made him go over our plans for the entire evening about three times.”

  “Oh, okay,” he replied, his brow furrowing.

  His response was enough to reestablish my manners. “I should have just answered him later. I’m being so rude.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He slid his arm around my shoulders, sliding me closer. “So, you and Jackson are really close?”

  “Yeah. He recently moved back to Chicago from New York. While he was away, we lost touch, so it’s nice to be talking to him again.”

  “What made the two of you lose touch?”

  “Huh?” I asked. I swallowed hard, suddenly wishing I hadn’t finished off the last of my beer. I didn’t want to lie about the past Jacks and I shared. But at the same time, Kenneth didn’t need to know we’d crossed the lines of our friendship. No, the revelation that Jacks and I had slept together needed to come at a later time. Everything with Kenneth was still so new, and my baggage was the last thing I wanted to discuss. “We were both really busy with work, and the whole reason Jacks moved up there was for a promotion, so . . .”

  “I didn’t mean to pry. I was simply curious.”

  “You weren’t prying. He and I are just good friends. That’s all.”

  “Well, I for one am glad we aren’t just good friends.”

  Kenneth released his hold on my shoulder, turning to face me. He leaned forward, his mouth stopping mere inches from mine. My attention zoned in on his lips, and I felt him tug my phone out of my hands. He laid the device on the coffee table before removing any lingering space between us.

  “Is that so?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “Absolutely.” His fingers caught in my hair as he pressed his lips to mine.

  Everything about his touch felt safe, so I allowed myself to get swept away in the moment. The couch dipped beneath us as our weight shifted. My arms curled around his neck, deepening the kiss. Slowly, his hands lowered me until my back met the soft cushions of his couch. A groan sounded deep within his throat while the tips of his fingers tugged at the hem of my shirt. I gasped the second his skin came into contact with mine. Wanted. Desired. The quick rush of being completely at another person’s mercy. Somehow, it felt like an eternity had passed since the last time I was held like this.

  When his palms glided over my abdomen and up to my breasts, my breathing quickened. I wanted to let go, to forget anything and everything, but as soon as I felt ready to succumb to the feeling, uncertainty surfaced. I wasn’t ready for such a level of intimacy. Kenneth didn’t really know me yet. He wasn’t ready to scale my walls and tear them down. My soul bore too many scars, and a revelation of this magnitude would only push him away, not pull
him closer.

  I tore my mouth from his. “Wait.” My hands braced against his chest, slightly holding him back.

  “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked, a trace of panic evident in his voice.

  “I’m okay. I’d rather we take things slow though.”

  “Of course. I’m sorry if I came on too strong.”

  I took his face in my hands, smiling slightly. “No, you’re fine. I don’t have the best track record with relationships. They tend to usually end one way, and I don’t need any more scars.”

  “Scars?”

  “It’s the best way I know to describe it,” I said, dropping my gaze.

  “We all have baggage.”

  “Some of us just have more than others.”

  He nodded solemnly, lightly kissing my forehead. When he stood and began walking in the direction of the kitchen, my eyes followed him. “I’m going to make some coffee. What do you take in yours?”

  “How do you know I drink coffee?”

  “You work night shift,” he answered with a laugh. “What night shift worker doesn’t drink coffee?”

  “Good point.”

  “Sugar? Creamer?”

  “Just creamer. Do you need any help?”

  “Nope. Just make yourself comfortable.”

  “Okay.” I glanced around his apartment again. There wasn’t a radio or an iPod anywhere to be found. At first, I hadn’t noticed a lack of music, but now that my brain had made the discovery, I kept searching for evidence. “I’m kind of burnt out on movies for the night. Would you mind listening to some music?”

  “Yeah, we can do that. I don’t really ever listen to music, but I can play something on my phone.”

  “Oh,” I replied, deflated. “Is there a reason you don’t listen to music?”

  “Not really. No one in my family is big on music. We always preferred watching television or movies.”

  “I see.”

  “You’re a huge music fan, aren’t you?” He handed me a mug teeming with caramel-colored liquid.

  I accepted the mug, blowing away steam before taking a sip. “Yeah. My parents are huge music fans. They go to several concerts a year.”

  “That’s awesome. Well,” he began, handing his phone over to me, “we can listen to whatever you want.”