You Deserve Better (By Your Side Series Book 2)

by A. P. Watson

  I smiled, taking the phone from his outstretched palm. “Sounds like a plan.” Immediately, I pulled up the internet and began playing the Blues. The pain lacing the voices of B.B. King, Buddy Guy, and Stevie Ray Vaughan was enough to temper the sting of sadness I felt. Maybe one day Kenneth could scale my walls and bring them crashing all around me. But then again, maybe he wouldn’t want to save me at all.

  chapter ten

  unwound

  SOMEHOW, I MANAGED TO make it through the rest of the week without suffering a mental breakdown. Honestly, I blamed Terayn. She kept making me coffee whenever we were at the apartment together, and I wouldn’t put it past her to slip Prozac or something similar in my drink. Ter definitely wasn’t above such schemes.

  Sweat lined my palms as I walked down the hallway toward Jacks’s apartment. My heart bounced wildly inside my chest like a caged animal. I readjusted the shopping bags I held, shifting the weight off my wrists. When I knocked on his door, the sound echoed down the hall, mimicking a loud clap of thunder and alerting everyone in the vicinity of my presence.

  The second he opened the door, he rushed forward to grab the shopping bags I carried.

  “Here, let me help you with those.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, following him inside the apartment. I removed my coat, placing it on the couch in the living room. Flames flickered in the fireplace, their warmth radiating throughout the entire apartment. Everything about the place looked exactly the way I remembered it. I watched as Jacks set the bags on the counter and began removing all the items I’d brought. Circling the large island, I made my way to where he stood.

  “So, how are you?” he questioned.

  “Good, and you?”

  He smiled at me, and for the first time, I noticed he hadn’t shaved. A fine dusting of scruff covered the hard line of his jaw. “Better.”

  “I like the scruff.”

  “You do?” His hand rubbed his chin and he chuckled. “My grandfather told me that I looked like a damn hippy.”

  “He would know! He was a damn hippy.”

  “That’s exactly what I told him.”

  “He’s impossible sometimes.”

  “We wouldn’t want him any other way though.”

  “Absolutely not,” I replied, inching closer. “If you don’t mind, you can wash all the strawberries and lay them out to dry while I can start melting chocolate.”

  “Whatever you need me to do.”

  I retrieved two saucepans from one of the cabinets and placed them both on the gas burners.

  “Thanks for helping me, by the way. I’d probably be doing this all night if it weren’t for you.”

  “It’s my pleasure.”

  Jacks washed and dried all the strawberries while I melted white and milk chocolate in separate saucepans. When he finished, I grabbed several of the strawberries and dipped them into the chocolate before laying them out to allow the chocolate to harden. I alternated between both types of chocolate, sometimes even drizzling both over the ripe berries. Heat from the stove warmed my flesh and made my hair begin to stick to the skin on my neck.

  “Hey, Jacks, can you hand me a dish rag really quick? I need to pin my hair out of my face.” I motioned toward the clip fastened to the edge of my sweater.

  “Here,” he said, moving toward me, “I’ll help.” My eyes followed each movement his body made as he twisted my hair into a bun, pinning it in place with the clip. Chills rained over the surface of my flesh as his fingers barely brushed the back of my neck. “Is that okay?”

  “Yeah, thanks,” I breathed. I shifted my focus back to the chocolate in front of me, desperately trying to forget everything that had just transpired. His touch was all too easy to get lost in, and I certainly wouldn’t be doing myself any favors to lose all notions of common sense.

  “Of course.”

  “So,” I began, knowing polite conversation would be a welcome reprieve, “how was work today?”

  “Really good. It’s so nice to be back home.”

  “I’m sure it is.” I tentatively chewed on my bottom lip. Jacks stepped so close behind me, I could sense him just over my shoulder. Somehow, my body was acutely aware of every step he took, as if we were still in sync with one another. I twisted a ripe berry in the melted chocolate, twirling it until it was coated with sugary goodness. Just as I was about to stir the chocolate to keep it from sticking to the pan, a loud bark filled the silence of the room. The sound was a shock to my system that caused me to jump and fling chocolate in the air. “What the hell was that?” I turned around so suddenly I almost collided into Jacks.

  “Fuck, that’s hot.”

  “Oh my God!” I tossed the spoon I’d been using to stir the chocolate back in the saucepan. “Are you okay?”

  A long line of chocolate spread across Jacks’s shirt. “I’m fine. The chocolate stings a bit though.”

  “I’m so sorry!” I rushed forward, my fingers closing around the buttons of his shirt. I undid several and helped him slide the stained material over his shoulders. In my desperation to help him, I’d forgotten what I was doing. As if there wasn’t enough tension in the air, Jacks now stood before me—shirtless. It was just another ordinary body. Nothing special, nothing to write home about. Just a regular body. Those were the thoughts plaguing my mind, but when I lifted my gaze to look at him, logic flew out the fucking window.

  We were fools to believe we could pretend the past never happened. I knew every inch of Jacks’s body and he knew mine. And when our eyes met, time no longer seemed to exist . . . if it ever did in the first place.

  “Well, that’s one way to help,” Jacks chuckled.

  “I’m sorry.” I bent to retrieve his shirt and then carried it over to the sink. Turning the faucet to cold, I ran his shirt beneath the steady stream of water and began scrubbing the stain. At this point, any kind of distraction was a godsend.

  “You don’t have to do that. I can put it in the washing machine.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

  “Wren . . .”

  “Go grab another shirt, and I’ll finish here and then throw your shirt in the washer.” I smiled so enthusiastically that my cheeks trembled from the effort. What the hell was wrong with me? I see him half naked one time and I’m acting like a bumbling idiot. I turned off the stovetop and headed toward the washing machine to throw in his button up. The chocolate was ruined, so I’d have to melt some more, but that was okay. I’d brought plenty. After tossing his shirt in the washer and setting it to run, I headed down the hall toward Jacks’s room. “Jacks?” I called out after hearing another bark.

  “Sorry. It’s Ford,” he answered, emerging from his room. Jacks had changed into a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. “My dog.”

  “You have a dog?” I asked, shock filtering into every crevice of my voice. “A dog?”

  “Yeah.” He stepped toward the door of the guest bedroom and opened it. “Come on out, buddy.” A red dog came bounding out of the room and immediately jumped on top of me. Ford might have looked to only be about sixty pounds, but the surprise of his attack knocked me over. I fell to the floor as Jacks’s dog bounded on top of me. “Damnit, Ford!” Jacks shouted, pulling his dog away.

  “I’m okay!” I moved to my knees, erupting in a fit of laughter. “You have a dog!”

  “He usually behaves better.”

  Ford strained against Jacks’s grasp, still trying to lunge for me. “It looks like he’s excited to meet me,” I giggled.

  “Of course he is.”

  “Jacks, if you don’t let that baby go, I’m going to punch you in the throat.”

  “Okay, okay.” He loosened his grip, holding up his hands in defeat.

  Ford rushed toward me again, but I was ready for his attack this time. I held my arms open and then instantly closed them around him. “You were just trying to say hello, weren’t you, darlin’?” Ford licked my face and neck while I rubbed his fur. “You’re the sweetest baby dog,” I co
oed. “Yes, you are.”

  Jacks bent beside me, scratching one of Ford’s ears. “He’s an awesome dog.”

  “I can tell,” I said, smiling. “How old is he?”

  “Just over a year.”

  “What made you decide to get him?”

  Jacks shrugged, dropping his gaze. “I’d always wanted a dog, so I figured, why not?”

  “I love his coat. What breed is he?”

  “Irish Setter.”

  “He’s beautiful,” I replied, admiring Ford’s big brown eyes. In response, Ford licked my ear and nuzzled my face with his nose. “Oh, I love you too.”

  Jacks laughed. “I think he likes you more than he likes me.”

  “Are you even surprised?” I grinned at Jacks.

  “Not at all,” he countered, his signature devilish smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

  “You just have good taste, don’t you, Ford?”

  “We should probably get back to the strawberries, shouldn’t we?”

  “Oh, right.” I gave Ford’s head a final pat and then followed Jacks back to the kitchen. “The chocolate got burned while I was trying to wash your shirt, so I’m afraid we’ll have to scrape it out and start over.”

  “That’s okay. I should’ve let Ford out to begin with, but I was afraid he’d get in the way.”

  “You would never get in the way, would you, baby?” I asked, turning my attention to Ford. He reared up on his hind legs, placing his front paws on my abdomen. “Don’t worry, you won’t be cooped up any longer.”

  “Ford,” Jacks said in a serious tone. Ford set all four paws back on the ground and moved to sit next to his master’s heel.

  “Oh my God,” I mumbled.

  “What?”

  “I just got his name. You named him Ford because you love cars, didn’t you?”

  Jacks shrugged, smiling shyly. “And the name seemed to fit him.”

  “I love it.”

  “I’m glad,” he whispered. “Wren?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you hungry? I haven’t eaten anything, and I was going to order some takeout.”

  “Takeout sounds great.”

  He leaned against the counter, watching while I cleaned out the saucepans. “What would you like to eat?”

  “Is Wong’s okay? I haven’t ordered from there in a little while and I have a craving.”

  “Yeah, of course. Whatever you want is good with me. Do you want me to pull up their menu on my phone and read it to you?”

  “Nah. Just surprise me,” I answered. “You know what I like.”

  “That I do know,” he intoned suggestively.

  “Hey!” I jabbed him with my elbow.

  “You know I’m kidding, chipmunk.”

  We smiled at one another, and for one perfect second, everything was normal again. Things weren’t the convoluted mess we now had grown accustomed to. Instead, we were best friends once more. I felt as if my conscience was suddenly unburdened. I knew our falling out had taken its toll, but I never fully understood its extent until now.

  “Jacks . . .”

  “I’m sorry, I—I shouldn’t have said that,” he stammered.

  “It’s fine. I should be focusing on heating up more chocolate. Otherwise, I’ll be here all night.”

  “Right. Well, you do that, and I’ll order us some food,” he said, holding up his phone.

  After placing our order, he returned to the stove to watch my progress. “How about some wine? Or beer maybe?”

  “Umm, wine if you have it.” I brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes and continued stirring both pans of chocolate.

  “Coming up.” He nudged me with his elbow and we traded spots.

  “Thanks.” I took a sip of wine, watching while Jacks tried his hand at stirring chocolate.

  “Am I doing this right? I’ve never made chocolate-covered strawberries before.” He doused a berry with chocolate before laying it out to dry.

  “Yeah, that’s good.” I took another drink of wine and set the glass on the counter. Ford was sniffing around my feet, and I couldn’t resist the urge to pet him again. “Hello, baby,” I cooed. “Do you want me to take you for a walk after we eat?” Ford responded by licking my cheek.

  “Sounds good to me, unless I’m not included in your plans with my dog,” he teased.

  I rolled my eyes and stood. Grabbing my glass of wine, I knocked Jacks out of the way with my hip and handed off my drink. “I’ll take over for a while.”

  “You’re the boss.” He leaned against the counter, watching my progress. Nervously, I fidgeted with a loose strand of hair, trying to sweep it off my face. From the corner of my eye, I saw Jacks finish off the rest of my wine and step toward me. Brushing the strand behind my ear, he allowed his fingers to barely graze the curve of my cheek. “Better?”

  Words dissipated in my mouth when I tried to speak, so instead, I nodded. Oh, I was in trouble. Four months may have passed, but I was back to square one. “Is there any way I could have some more wine?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Jacks filled the glass, holding it in my direction. I raised my hands in the air, chocolate barely dripping down each of my fingers. “Right.” He sidled up next to me, pressing the rim of the glass to my lips. Gradually, he tipped it until I took a long sip.

  “You know, you could’ve just grabbed a straw,” I stated with a laugh.

  “Yeah, I realize that now.”

  “You just like to be complicated.”

  “I believe the correct word is accommodating.”

  I finished dipping the last strawberry in chocolate before turning to face him. “My bad, I forgot how much you liked to be considered a gentleman.”

  Jacks leaned forward, a wicked gleam in his eye. “I’m never anything but.”

  “You certainly have a high opinion of yourself.”

  “Maybe I do, and maybe I don’t.”

  “And what is your opinion of me?”

  “Can’t you tell?” he asked, his voice nothing more than a whisper. I shook my head, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. He took my hand in his, holding my index finger up to his lips. “Should I show you then?” Leisurely, he licked the chocolate off my finger, his tongue sliding along my skin. In response, my spine curled upward, forcing me forward. Hello, sinus tachycardia. My dormant condition finally decided to rear its ugly head. “Wren?”

  “Yeah?”

  I’ll never know what he was about to say, because as soon as he opened his mouth to speak, the doorbell rang. “There’s our food.”

  “Yep.”

  The distraction was a welcome reprieve. All my words and strength didn’t mean a damn thing. After only a few interactions, I was sprinting toward the one man I needed to keep away from. I’d been down this road before, and it only brought me trouble. Jacks’s gesture didn’t simply unravel my composure, it also caused all our good memories to come rushing to the forefront of my mind. How was it even possible for a single person to elicit pain and pleasure at the same time?

  “Where do you want to eat? Table or couch?”

  While I was knee-deep in my inner turmoil, Jacks had managed to pay for our food and was beginning to set takeout containers on the marble island.

  “Couch.” Instantly, I regretted my decision. Oh, the unspeakable things we’ve done on that couch.

  “Want to watch an episode of X-Files while we eat?”

  “Sure.” I sighed a breath of relief. The moment we had readily surrendered to had come and gone. We teetered on the edge of wishful thinking, and one wrong move could destroy everything. No, avoidance was the right path to take. After all, it was an area we navigated deftly.

  “Here.” Jacks handed me a container of lo mein and a set of chopsticks.

  “This food smells so good!”

  “I know. I love Wong’s.”

  “Mmm. This is so good. They seriously have the best noodles.”

  Jacks dipped his chopsticks in the container I held. “I agree,” he replied,
shoving the noodles in his mouth. “Here’s some chicken.”

  I accepted the container he offered, shoving a large piece of sesame chicken in my mouth. “Thanks for ordering food.”

  “Anytime.”

  We filled our stomachs while watching our show. I never realized how much little things mattered. A shared interest held so much more meaning than I originally suspected. I missed sitting with Jacks while we ate our favorite takeout and watched The X-Files. It was one of the things we used to do together, and having it back was a welcome relief.

  After the episode finished, we cleaned up the remnants of our dinner and placed all the strawberries on silver platters to chill in the fridge overnight. We worked quickly, and before long, Jacks was fastening a leash to Ford’s collar. I buttoned up my coat while Jacks closed his own.

  “Is that all you’re wearing?”

  I glanced at my black pea coat. “Well, yeah.” I had dressed in jeans, boots, and a pink sweater.

  “It’s freezing outside. Don’t you have a hat or gloves?”

  “No, I didn’t think we’d be walking your dog at ten o’clock at night.”

  “Wait here.”

  In less than a minute, Jacks returned with a hoodie and a pair of ski gloves.

  “Those aren’t going to fit.”

  “I don’t care. Put them on.”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “It’s almost fifteen degrees colder than it was last night. Put them on.”

  I snatched the clothes out of his hands. “Fine,” I huffed. I removed my jacket and slid on his hoodie. After zipping up the front, I placed my pea coat over it and fastened the buttons once more. Then I pulled on his gloves. “Happy now?”

  “Extremely.”

  I rolled my eyes dramatically, grabbing Ford’s leash. “I get to walk the baby dog.” Ford wagged his tail excitedly and jerked me in the direction of the door.

  “Ford,” Jacks warned.

  Immediately, Ford stopped pulling on the leash and looked up at me. “It’s okay, baby. You’re not in trouble.”

  “You’re going to eradicate all his obedience training.”

  “What? I’m not allowed to spoil him?”

  “I didn’t say that.” I batted my eyelashes a couple of times as I stared at him. “Fine, spoil him all you want. He’s crazy about you anyway.”