Entwined Souls (Soul Sister Book 1)

by C. M. Youngren

  I lost the strength to hold myself up any longer and my body came down on hers, my weight probably crushing her small frame. Rolling to the side to take the pressure off, my now semi- hard member slid free of her body.

  Oh shit.

  I felt all my semen pour from her body. I’d never gone without protection in my life, but I wasn’t thinking straight when it came to Jurnee. She made me a crazed man, and I had lost my mind. But that was no excuse. It was my duty to protect her, and I failed. Though going bare in Jurnee, took sex, no making love, to a whole new level. Even if it was wrong, it was something I wanted to repeat over and over.

  The idea of her ever having my kids didn’t scare me at all. I’d had that thought before. But even though I knew she wanted Embry, that didn't mean she was ready to bear a child, or that she would want one with me. Time to pay the piper.

  “Dimples, I messed up.”

  “Braxton, that was amazing, I have never felt anything like that in my life, you didn’t mess up at all.” She stroked her hand down my back, as she curled herself into me more.

  “Jurnee, I was lost in the moment, I didn’t use a condom.”

  I noticed her body stiffen and was disappointed I probably ruined the mood and something utterly fabulous. But I didn’t get the reaction I thought I would have, and her words shocked me to my core.

  “It’s okay, Braxton,” she choked out through tears. “I most likely can’t have children at all anyway. I told you before that some things I still need to say may change how you feel about me.”

  The dam broke loose as tears turned into rushing water, now falling steadily from her heartbroken eyes, and huge sobs spilled from her trembling lips.

  I didn’t know why she said what she had, but nothing would change my mind about her, and she needed to know that. She was breaking my heart, so I finally pushed the comforter down, removed her sexy shoes, and then yanked the covers up over us, wrapping my body around hers. Rolling to my back, I pulled her up on top of my body and tucked her close, holding on. I would stay like that for hours if I had to. It wasn’t too long, before her sobs, turned into hiccups, and then with her body over mine, face tucked into my neck, my girl fell asleep.

  When she woke up, we would talk, but for now, this is what she needed. I would do anything for her, she was part of me now. Jurnee was imprinted on my heart.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Braxton

  As I also drift off to sleep, I know something major has happened. I have fallen in love for the first time in my life.

  With Jurnee.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jurnee

  Waking up in his arms, the heat of his body surrounds me, and I try holding on to the content feeling it brings, but can’t help the worry that consumes me over what I told him before I drifted off. I am also scared to death because I completely skipped over the ‘fall with me’ segment he mentioned while we danced earlier tonight. I’ve already fallen head over heels in love.

  With Braxton.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jurnee

  Raising my head from Braxton’s sinfully sexy body, I looked up at his face so calm in sleep, which was a vast difference from the intensity that had overtaken it during the throws of passion earlier. His chest rising and falling in rapid motion, the rhythm of it and his pulse in tune with one another, eased my bleeding heart.

  I was terrified at what his reaction would be to my earlier confession, which had probably taken away from the beauty of our lovemaking. But it was time I knew how Brax felt, not only about what I said but also regarding what happened between us. Brax, I loved the sound of his name shortened and wondered what he would think of me calling him that.

  He did call me Dimples, so…

  My hand slowly started tracing circles on his smooth, sculpted chest as I admired and read the tattoo over where his heart laid. I saw it when he undressed but was too caught up in the moment to see what it said. It was the only ink I’d seen on his body, showcasing just how much the words must’ve meant to the man himself. Through the hard times, we find strength. Within the strength, we defeat our weakest moments. And in those moments, we find the power to heal. As I recited the words aloud and continued to gently caress him, Brax stirred from his sleep. “Hey beautiful,” he said, a little groggily.

  He still thinks I’m beautiful?

  Hope soared through me at his words, like a bird taking flight into the open sky. “You still think I’m beautiful?” He looked confused by my question, but it was hard for me to believe in things sometimes. I had come a long way, but there were times that doubt crept right back in.

  “Jurnee, of course, I do. I don’t know what happened, or what is going on, and I know what you said probably scares you and breaks your heart, but it doesn’t make me love you any less.”

  What the heck! Holy shit batman!

  Nobody but my adoptive parents and my girls had ever said they loved me. Certainly not a man, except of course my father, but that was way different.

  “You love me?” I asked, daring to hope that it could be true.

  “I know it’s probably too soon, but yeah, Jurnee, I’ve fallen in love with you.” Braxton’s handsome, sleep-lined face was soft but serious.

  Oh my gosh, I was about to come out of my skin. Braxton loves me. Even after what I’d said, or not knowing the whole story about the fears I carried, he still loved me. Which was good, right? Or maybe I was jumping ahead too much? Not many things early on in my life worked out, and I hadn’t had relationships flourish in the past, but there hadn’t been anyone in the guy department that interested me to make me truly care. And I was scared the other shoe would drop and it would all be taken away from me at some point, so I always held myself back.

  I didn’t know if I could survive losing Braxton. I had fought my way through cancer, dealt with my birth mother abandoning me when I needed her most, and made it out of the foster care system whole. But having Braxton love me, only to lose him later, may have been the one thing I wouldn’t make it through.

  Try Jurnee, he’s worth it.

  He was, I knew it deep down, and so it left me no choice but to follow my heart and give him the words back that my soul was dying to set free.

  “I love you too, Brax.”

  “So it’s Brax now?” he asked, with a sweet smile. “And your words are music to my ears, baby. Please don’t shut down on me and let’s talk. Tell me why you said what you did earlier. I want to know, and before you keep worrying that bottom lip of yours, even though it’s adorable, no, it’s not gonna change how I feel. I will keep saying that until you believe me. Can you do that for me? Will you tell me about your childhood, and what happened? Why do you think you can’t have the babies that I know you probably desperately want?” He took a deep breath and laughed a little. “Shit, sorry that was a lot of questions, but it all just came rushing out.”

  I was doing my best not to cry again, but he was so damn sweet, and he loved me. Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve said that many times, but I couldn’t help it. That made me want to shed happy tears. I needed to find the strength to tell him about everything, but I also wanted to know more about him too. Alley probably told him some stuff when we were kids and when he was gone, but all three of us girls were firm believers that some things were only ours to tell. So, it was time I spilled my guts but wanted the same in return.

  “I will, but will you tell me more about your childhood too? Alley of course told me stuff and how she felt, but I want to hear how it made you feel. Also, I want to know about your time in the service and why you bought such a big house when you're the only one in it? Just as you want to know more about me, I want the same from you too.”

  Braxton nodded at me before he said, “I will for sure try. I’m not used to talking about myself much, Jurnee, but I will do anything I can to move forward with you and make you happy”

  I rolled off the top of him, missing the heat and connection right away. Twisting my body, I laid to
face him, legs out to the side and my head resting on his stomach. Then, looking up into those mesmerizing eyes of his, I started to speak.

  “At five, my birth mom left me in the hospital all alone, fighting cancer. I had leukemia. The pain, being so sick, and scared out of my mind, was unbearable. Some people would have thought that at that age, I wouldn’t remember in detail all the things I did. But I remember it as if it happened yesterday, even though I wish every day that I could forget.”

  Braxton’s body reacted to my words, but not in a bad way. It was more a protective way. He was listening, trying not to interrupt, but also trying to lend me support to carry on. So I did.

  “I thought I was going to die. A five-year-old doesn’t really understand what everything means, but you learn pretty quickly. I understood the treatments made me sick, but I had no choice but to take them if I wanted to survive. What throwing up all the time did to a little body like mine, and I knew that the nurses were there to help and although some were nice, they still weren't my family. I understood that the hospital was where I stayed for some time, but it wasn't home. Being in agony was a daily event for me, and I’d learned that some mothers leave, even when their kids needed them the most and were scared shitless. And that not being on this earth seemed to get closer each day.”

  Braxton squeezed my hand in support, and it kept me grounded so I was able to carry on.

  “One day, my treatments were finally finished and I’d managed to go into remission, which after having cancer is where I will always be. Unless it comes back, which is a fear I live with every day, but I do my best not to let the fear rule my life.”

  But sometimes my best is not good enough.

  It wasn’t easy to tell this story and spill all the horrid details of my early life, that I’d worked so hard to shut out. But to build something with Braxton, we both needed to bare our souls, and the truth needed to be set free.

  “So, I left the hospital one day, but without my mom or any other family. No belongings, but the clothes on my back. I left with a stranger, who in return left me at the foster home I lived at until I was twelve. You could say I was lucky that I got to stay in one place the whole time and wasn’t bounced around from home to home like some of the other kids there had been. And don’t get me wrong, I was grateful they took care of us there, in whatever way they could. But they didn’t love us.”

  Braxton rubbed my back gently as I kept talking. Different expressions crossed his face as I went. But he didn’t interrupt and just listened.

  “I yearned for that love until the day that my parents, the ones you know, came and took me away. Even though I was happy for myself, I had been so scared to leave Gemma behind because she was a lot younger than the rest of us.” Tears slid down my face as the memory pinched my heart. “I’d taken care of her but then I was leaving her just like my mom had left me, and it shattered my heart. But I wanted a family so badly and I did my best to see her and be there for her always. I thank the heavens above that she didn’t hold it against me and that we are still close.” My mouth tipped up in a small smile, knowing this to be true.

  “My parents are amazing, even if they were a little older by the time they decided to adopt, after not being able to have children of their own. But it was an adjustment, even if I had hoped for it for so long. I was also terrified of going to a new school, and not knowing anyone.”

  “Which brings me to the first day I saw Alley, Summer, and you.”

  “Me?” he asked, pointing at his chest with his free hand.

  “Yeah, you three changed my world and I will never forget that moment.”

  “I don’t know how I did that,” he replied “I understand the girls, but I’m just Alley's brother. But keep going, I want to hear about all of it.”

  I was doing my best to try and explain my feelings, but getting to this next part while looking at Braxton could’ve ended up being embarrassing. Though I was holding nothing back, telling him about how he made me feel back then wasn’t easy. Here goes nothing...

  “The first time I saw all three of you my parents had brought me to the school to get registered. I had just gotten out of the car, scared to even be there. New school, it was later in the year, and I didn’t know anyone, plus the fact that you already know I’m a bit shy and quiet. But then I saw you drive in and you had brought Alley and Summer with you. The girls looked straight at me and something inside me settled.”

  I paused. “Well, that’s not completely true.”

  “It’s not?” Braxton asked, looking confused.

  “Umm, it is, and it isn’t. When I looked at Alley and Summer, everything settled, but when I looked at you my heart did funny things in my chest and a feeling I didn’t understand claimed my whole body. Later, it became very apparent that I had the biggest crush on you—and it never went away.”

  Shit, cue another pee session.

  I didn’t know what Braxton would say and I didn't have time to go running for the bathroom, because when I looked at him, the gigantic smile on his face warmed my insides. “What are you smiling like that for?”

  “Alley mentioned something about a crush at the bar that first night, and I didn’t know if it was true. But hearing it from you is confirmation, and I have to say, Dimples, I’m glad you’re obviously still crushing on me.”

  The nerve of this guy. “Don’t be so smug, mister. I can take it all back, you know.”

  “No, take-backs. Besides, we are far more advanced than the whole crush stage. Right?”

  “If you say so.”

  “Oh, I say so all right.” He grabbed me under my arms and dragged me up to his seriously kissable lips. Then he laid one on me, and I almost forgot what we were talking about. But just as fast as the kiss started, it was over.

  “As much as I want to keep doing that, I want to hear the rest.” And so, I settled back across his chest and continued.

  “You know how much the girls mean to me, and how close we have always been. You let us hang around you, took us places, and were so nice to us all. I hated when you left, just as Alley did, but it is amazing what you were doing and have done.”

  “Thanks, that means a lot coming from you, beautiful.”

  “I’m glad. I guess I should get to the part about my comment earlier. It’s not easy for me to tell. Let me start by saying during your time away I didn’t get much into the whole dating thing, and later there weren’t really a lot of men. I don’t trust easily and I’ve never felt a connection strong enough to make me want to take that leap. I finally let my guard down once as I told you before and tried, but it didn’t really feel right, and I haven’t been interested again or had the time. But you changed all that again for me the night I walked into the club. Only, now I’m still scared I will never live up to what you would want for your future. It’s something I struggle with a lot.”

  Caressing my arm softly, Braxton said, “Tell me, Jurnee, I swear it will be okay.”

  “You can’t know that, Braxton. I mean, you say that now, but could change your mind when you hear, or even later on.”

  “I won’t, let me show you.”

  “It may not be a hundred percent, but the likelihood that I will be able to have kids is slim. The cancer, the treatment, and what my body went through could have taken that chance away from me, and I’m terrified. And sad, because I know someone I meet may want their own kids. As much as I would love that chance to have a baby and experience all of that someday, I have no problem adopting because I know how many kids out there need a home. How many need to be loved. But that doesn’t mean that the person I end up with will feel the same.”

  “Jurnee, first let me say that you met the one, it’s not someone you will meet, you have met him.” A growl erupted from his mouth. “I’m right here in front of you and there will not be anyone else.”

  Wow, possessive much? I should be mad, but it was kinda sexy and sweet.

  “Second,” he continued, “you're the most amazing woman I have ev
er met, and any child would be lucky to have you as their mother, however they come into your life. And last, what you said doesn’t make me want to run, it makes me want to hold on even harder. If the time comes for us, I will gladly adopt all the kids you could ever want and be thrilled and so happy to be doing it with you.”

  “Dimples, you're it for me. I have never been in love, but I am now. You're my everything.”

  A tidal wave of tears rushed forward and down my cheeks. I couldn’t get any words out. I was crying too hard. I glued my body to his and got as close as I could, trying to convey just how much what he said meant to me until I could calm down. Minutes passed and Braxton just held me and waited. Finally, I settled enough to talk again.

  “I have never been in love either, but I am glad that my first time is with you. I hope it’s the last, but I’m petrified, Brax. I have lost so much in my life, but I don’t think I could handle losing you.”

  “Not going to happen, Dimples, you’re mine. Now, forever, and always.”

  “I like the sound of that.” The emotional journey I had just taken, knocked me out and I fell fast asleep in Braxton’s arms once more.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Braxton

  I can’t stop staring at her.

  Not able to fall asleep, I laid with Jurnee in my arms and gazed at her, peacefulness washing over her features as she rested. It was a welcome change to the sadness I saw in her just a short time before. However, she may have found it creepy if she’d woken up and caught me, but I still couldn’t stop myself. The early morning sun shone through the bedroom window, the light catching on her face. How had I gotten so lucky? And with that thought, the beauty herself awoke. Damn, she’s pretty.