A Broken Soul (The Pembrooke Series Book 3)
Page 9
His voice sounded thicker, gravelly when he spoke again. “I should let you get some sleep. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “And Quinn?”
“I’m here.” And he really was. That meant more to me than he could ever know.
“Thank you for calling.”
“Always. Night, Lilly.”
“Night, Quinn.” I ended the call and snuggled down into the bed, closing my eyes on a heavy exhale.
Thanks to Quinn being my friend when I needed one the most, sleep came easily that night.
Lilly
I HATED HAVING to leave my parents the next day to make the drive back to Pembrooke, but the two of them had teamed up against me and practically forced me out the door. They said I had classes to teach and responsibilities of my own. I wanted to stay and help take care of them both, but they insisted they’d be just fine without me. I knew it was their way of looking out for me, but that didn’t help to lessen the tension I was carrying around in the pit of my stomach.
I tried throwing myself into work, tried pouring all my stress and anxiety out in dance, but it just wasn’t working. I was on edge, and it showed. By the time my last class of the day came to an end, I felt ready to snap.
Pasting a fake smile on my face, I began winding my way through the crowd of parents picking up their kids, looking for an escape, when a hand on my elbow caused me to stop. I spun around to find Quinn looking down at me, his pale green eyes full of concern.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hey. You okay?”
With a sigh, I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear. “Yeah, I’m good. Just ready for this day to be over, I guess.”
“I know the feeling.” It was then that I noticed the tension around his eyes and mouth. Something was on his mind.
“I get the feeling I should be asking you the same question. What’s up?”
“What? Nothing. I’m good.” It was clearly a lie. He’d been a good enough friend to ask how I was doing, but I could tell he was holding something back. It was written all over his face.
One of my brows quirked up in skepticism, and I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah? Well, for someone who’s good, you’re looking rather constipated.”
By the way his eyes bugged out and a rumble of bewildered laughter broke from his throat, I knew my comment had shocked him. “Constipated?” His eyes sparkled with humor that made my heart leap just a little bit. “Wow. Colorful analogy, Lil.”
Lil. It was the first time he’d ever used any type of nickname with me, and I was suddenly ridiculously giddy at the thought that our friendship had evolved to that level of comfort. “You’re welcome.” I smiled. “Now tell me what’s up, because I know you’re not as fine as you’re claiming to be. We have a truce, remember? We’re supposed to be trying this whole friendship thing out. Grumpy Quinn is only allowed to come out once a month.”
His eyes brightened just a bit more, but despite all my effort, I still couldn’t pull a genuine smile from the man. It was almost infuriating. “I’m not grumpy,” he stated softly, “I’m just…”
“Just what?” I pushed.
He let out a sigh and ran his long fingers through his sandy blond hair. “Stressed, I guess. Tony asked if I could work half his shift for him so he could take his wife out for his anniversary. I said yes before checking with my parents. They’re going to Yellowstone for the weekend. Now I’m committed to working tonight and don’t have anyone to watch Soph.”
Sympathy washed over me as I took in his concerned expression. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for him, trying to be a single father to a little girl, especially to one as rambunctious and lively as Sophia. Without thinking, my mouth opened and the words came out. “I’ll watch her for you.”
His surprise registered for a brief second before he replied, “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t.” I shrugged. “I offered. I don’t mind. Really. I like Sophia, and we’re friends, right? Let me help you.”
Just then, the girl in question came scurrying over. “Daddy! Did you see me? Did you see?” She jumped up and down excitedly and, at her enthusiasm, coupled with the genuine, happy smile on Quinn’s face, my belly swooped.
“I did, Angel. You were terrific.”
“Miss Lilly said Imma fast learner,” she rambled.
Quinn’s eyes quickly met mine and he gave me a wink that made my knees tremble just a bit. “I can see that. You’ll be spinning around in circles in no time.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically, like only a little girl can do. “I can already do that, Daddy.” She proceeded to spin around over and over, wobbling around until she finally lost balance and fell on her behind. Without batting an eye, she jumped back to her feet and grinned triumphantly. “See?”
“I stand corrected.” Quinn chuckled. “You sure you can handle all this energy over night?” he asked, looking back at me.
I scoffed. “Pfft. Totally.”
Sophia’s gasp drew both our attention to her. “Is Miss Lilly coming for a sleepover?” She clasped her hands together in front of her chest. “Oh please, please, please, please!”
Quinn eyed me questioningly, leaving the ball in my court. I leaned down, running my hand over Sophia’s soft ponytail. “If you want me to, yeah. Your daddy has to work so I told him I’d come over and keep you company for the night. You can cook, right? Because I’m horrible in the kitchen. If we don’t want to starve, it’s up to you to feed us.”
“Yeah!” she shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “I can make you Daddy’s pancakes! They’re the best in the whole world!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the fear written across Quinn’s face. “I don’t think your dad’s too fond of that idea, Little Miss.”
“I think I might be more comfortable if the two of you stay out of the kitchen. How about I leave some cash for pizza?”
I took no offense to that. Besides, it wasn’t too long ago the fire department was at my apartment. But still, I couldn’t help but tease. “It was only a teeny-tiny kitchen fire. No big deal.”
He looked like he was two seconds from having an aneurism, so I took pity on him. “I’m kidding! Me and Soph will order a pizza so we can Netflix and chill. Don’t worry.”
His lips quirked just a fraction, and I would have given anything to get a real smile from him. That quirk did nothing but make me more determined to wear him down. I was going to get a smile from him that actually reached his eyes if it killed me.
“I must be losing my mind,” he muttered under his breath. “Okay, fine. Lilly’s watching you tonight, Angel. That means you have to do exactly what she tells you. And no tricks.”
I hadn’t thought it was possible for a kid her age, but Sophia actually looked affronted as she declared, “I don’t trick!”
Quinn gave her what could only be described as The Father Face. I knew it well. I’d gotten it from my own dad quite a bit growing up. The reminder of my dad sent a pang of sadness through me that I had to work to swallow down.
“Yeah?” he asked, unconvinced. “What’s your bedtime?”
“Nine.”
“Nice try,” he grunted, turning from his daughter to me. “Her bedtime’s eight. Don’t let her play you. Trust me, she’ll try.”
I winked down at a bereft Sophia, earning myself a grin. “I think I can handle it.”
“Famous last words,” Quinn replied before taking his daughter’s hand. “All right then. Does six work for you?”
“Yep. I’ll be there.”
Maybe it was the little girl in me, maybe it was because I was happy to have something to fill my time with so I could keep my mind off my dad, maybe it was just because I really liked Sophia and her father. But whatever the reason, I was excited for my sleepover tonight.
IT WAS JUST a little after eight-thirty when my cellphone rang. Picking up the remote, I clicked pause on the episode of Vikings I’d found in Quinn’s DVR. I had to admit, the show
was addicting. I was only on the first episode, and if Sophia hadn’t run me ragged in the two hours she’d been awake, I would have probably stayed up all night binge watching.
Hitting the green button on my phone I lifted it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Oh good,” Quinn’s voice came through the line. “You’re still alive. I was afraid one or both of you would have burned the house down by now.”
Despite the twitch in my lips, I fought a smile and deadpanned, “Your faith in me as a babysitter is touching, really. I’m swooning as we speak.”
His deep, rough chuckle sent a shiver up my spine. I loved it when he laughed. He didn’t do nearly enough of it. He was a good man, he deserved to laugh more. “She asleep?”
“Out like a light,” I confirmed. “That shot of whiskey I gave her right before we watched The Walking Dead knocked her right out. Can’t promise it’ll help with the nightmares though. That show’s gory as hell, Quinn. I couldn’t believe it when she told me you let her watch it. What were you thinking?”
“What?!”
I burst into laughter. “I’m kidding! Would you relax? We watched some cartoon movie that now makes me wish I had a snowman of my own, and I read her Cinderella three times before she finally passed out.”
He remained silent long enough for me to question my decision to joke around. When he finally spoke again, it wasn’t what I’d been expecting to hear.
“I never thanked you for watching Sophia for me. I know you acted like it wasn’t big deal for you, but it means a lot to me that you’d put your plans on hold for the night to babysit her at the drop of a hat.”
For a man of few words, he sure was good at talking when he wanted to be. And seeing as our relationship started off with him pretending I didn’t exist, hearing him say something like that felt really, really nice.
“She’s a great kid,” I said softly, pulling my knees up and hugging them to my chest. “You’re doing well with her, Quinn. It might not feel like it sometimes, but you’re a great dad. She adores you.”
He spoke just as quietly as I just had when he said, “I can’t tell you how much it means to hear that. Sometimes I worry that I’m screwing everything up.”
Unable to sit still as Quinn opened himself up to me, showing me a new side of him I’d never seen before, I stood from the couch and began walking aimlessly. “I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true. I work with children enough to know when they’ve got it good at home and when they don’t. You’d be shocked how many parents are checked out of their own kid’s life. You’re doing the best you can, Quinn. It shows.”
My words ended just as I my feet stopped moving. Right in front of his bedroom door. The door was opened just a crack and, for some reason, my curiosity was peaked.
“Thanks.” His voice was gruff, but I knew he was being sincere.
“You’re welcome,” I replied, just as my fingers reached out of their own accord and pushed the door open a bit more.
“Well, I should probably let you get some sleep. I know Soph’s probably worn you out.”
I was hit with a wave of regret, not wanting the conversation to end, and the intensity of it was startling. “Yeah. Good night.”
“Night, Lilly.”
“Be safe.”
He hung up without another word, and my curiosity finally got the best of me. Pushing the door the rest of the way open, I stepped quietly into Quinn’s room.
The masculinity of the room didn’t surprise me. Quinn was the very definition of masculine so the dark espresso finish of the wooden headboard and matching bedside tables and dresser fit. It was the cleanliness that was shocking. The bed was made perfectly. The navy and gray chevron-patterned comforter was tucked in around the sides and covered the pillows with almost military precision. I bet I could bounce a quarter off it if I weren’t concerned with leaving wrinkles.
The only thing on the dark hardwood floors was a pale gray throw rug, no clothing strewn about, no miscellaneous socks or shoes, nothing. With the exception of some pocket change and a couple folded receipts on the dresser, there wasn’t even any clutter. I was sure that if I scoped out his closet, it would have been organized to precision. Not that I was going to do that. I was already invading his privacy enough as it was, I refused to cross the line further by going through his closet or rummaging through his medicine cabinet.
The only personal effect in the entire room was one single picture frame that sat on the far nightstand. My feet carried me around the foot of the bed, and when I saw the picture of the blonde woman smiling over her shoulder at a laughing Quinn, my heart stopped. Addison. Quinn’s wife. She was remarkably beautiful, and the smile stretching across her face made it clear she loved her life. But it was Quinn’s expression that made my chest ache. I picked up the frame and brought it closer to my face. I don’t think I’d ever seen him looking so happy and carefree. It was like looking at a totally different person. The Quinn I knew now was just a shadow of the Quinn captured in the snapshot I was holding in my hands. And that realization gutted me.
Setting the picture back where I found it, I couldn’t help but think how sad it was that he’d lost so much at such a young age, so much that it changed him into someone else. I hated that for him. I wanted to fix it.
But before I could let my worry over his wellbeing take over, the sound of Sophia’s screams from down the hall had me running out of the room as fast as I possibly could.
“Daddy!” Sophia screamed at the same time I grabbed hold of the doorframe, sliding around on my sock-clad feet and almost falling before I finally made it into her room.
Her face was pale, her blue eyes wide and shining like crazy as she sat in her bed, panting heavily.
“Hey, hey,” I cooed, rushing to her and dropping to my knees at the side of her bed. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might come through my breastbone as she grabbed the sleeves of my sweater and pulled until I was sitting on the mattress next to her.
“I had a bad dream.” Her voice shook as she laid her head on my lap. My fingers found her hair and I slowly started sliding them down in the hopes of soothing her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, as I lifted my legs and rested back against the headboard, stretching out along the length of her little girl bed. She shook her head against my legs and burrowed closer.
“No. It scared me. I don’t wanna be scared again.”
A memory from my childhood pushed its way to the forefront of my mind; one of those memories my father wanted me to hold on to. “You know, when I was a little girl, my dad used to lay with me and sing me a song any time I had a bad dream. He said it was a special song that would keep all the scary thoughts away. Would you like me to sing it to you?”
“Uh huh.”
I settled further into the bed and started to sing Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide,” just like my father did countless times. I didn’t hold a candle to Stevie Nicks’ sultry voice, but that didn’t stop me from giving it my all. I remembered how that song would chase away the monsters every time Dad sang it to me, and I wanted to give Sophia that very same comfort.
By the time I finished singing, she was asleep, breathing deep and steady as I ran my fingers through her soft hair. I continued to hum the tune, taking the very same comfort I’d just offered her from the memory of my father. I must have eventually dozed, because the next thing I knew, I was startled awake by Quinn’s low, gravelly voice.
“What are you doing?”
My eyes flicked open and it took a second for me to get my bearings and remember where I was. Sunlight was streaming through the slats of the blinds on Sophia’s bedroom window, lighting everything in a pretty combination of pink and orange. Quinn was standing in the doorway, his face completely blank and unreadable, thick arms crossed over his broad chest. If I wasn’t still half asleep, I probably would have drooled at the sight of him in his navy work uniform.
“7:15.” It was the short, choppy way he answered that put me on alert. As I stood from the bed and made my way to the door, I noticed the air was almost static. I’d been wrong. Quinn’s face wasn’t blank. The closer I got, I realized something had seriously pissed him off. I just had no idea what.
“You okay?”
“You haven’t answered my question. What the hell are you doing?”
With a quick glance behind me to confirm Quinn hadn’t woken Sophia, I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hallway, closing the door behind us so as not to disturb her.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice still a whisper as we moved a few feet from the door. It was when I finally registered my hand on Quinn’s arm that I realized his entire body was strung tight.
“Why were you in her bed?”
My forehead wrinkled as my eyebrows dipped in a V. “She had a pretty bad nightmare last night, and didn’t want me to leave. I held her until she fell back asleep, and I must have dozed off.”
“She has a nightmare, you stay with her until she’s asleep, then you get the hell up and leave. You don’t sleep in there with her.”
My jaw dropped as I tried to figure out what was going on. “Quinn, I—”
“You’re not her fucking mother, so don’t pretend to be. First, it was cleaning up after the party like it was your job, now this? You couldn’t replace Addy if you tried, so don’t. Fucking. Try,” he barked out angrily. His words forced me to jerk back like he’d just hit me, and in a way, I guess he had, because I certainly felt what he’d said like a physical blow.
“I wasn’t…” I started, but the lump forming in my throat blocked what I was trying to say. Swallowing painfully, I tried once more. “I’d never try to do that…”
He let out a sarcastic laugh as he dropped his arms and rested his hands on his hips. The new stance didn’t make him any less threatening, and as I stared at him, my nose burned and my eyes began to sting. “Could have fooled me. Looked like you were trying pretty fucking hard to cozy up to my daughter in there. You’re her dance teacher, that’s it. Don’t try and be something more, you’ll just be disappointed when you can’t live up to the real thing.”