Twice Loved

by Wendy Lindstrom

  He braced his hand against the tree trunk. “Radford’s capable of helping your father up to bed. Let’s enjoy the breeze and talk for a few minutes.”

  She slipped between the ropes of the swing and sat on the wide wooden seat. “All right, but it seems all we talk about lately is our wedding and building a house.”

  Kyle gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “That’s what most women want to talk about.”

  “I’d rather talk about horse races, or the cities we might visit someday. Those are the things we used to share.” She stood up and playfully pinched his hard stomach. “Why don’t we do that anymore?”

  He shrugged. “I guess right now there are things more pertinent. Maybe after the wedding we’ll have time for that.”

  “I hope so. I really miss our talks.” She grasped his hands, needing to connect with her old friend. “I want us to be happy.”

  “So do I.”

  “I mean really happy.” Evelyn met his eyes. “Like we were when we used to race our horses to the gorge. Remember the feeling of being eight years old and not afraid of anything?”

  “You weren’t afraid. That’s why you always won the race.”

  Evelyn laughed and her mind traveled back to the afternoon Kyle nearly broke his neck jumping a tree stump to cut in front of her and cross their imaginary finish line. The horse had stumbled and unseated Kyle, who was lucky enough to land in a freshly plowed field. Evelyn wanted to choke him for breaking the rules, instead she offered to wash out the dirt ground into his shirt and pants. After he’d disrobed behind a bush and tossed his clothes to her, Evelyn clutched them under her arm and rode off, yelling to Kyle that it served him right for cheating.

  “What are you smirking about?” he asked.

  “I was remembering the day I stole your clothes and made you ride home in your undergarments.”

  His grin widened. “I still owe you for the beating I got that day.”

  “You deserved it for cheating.” She laughed and swung their arms from side to side. “Remember this little ritual we used to share when celebrating something grand?”

  He squinted in momentary confusion then slowly nodded. “Kinda foolish, wasn’t it?”

  “I didn’t think so,” she said, but released his hands. “We were full of enthusiasm then. Remember, Kyle? You once told me that you wanted to go out West where the trees are so tall you couldn’t even see the tops of them. A tree like that would keep the mill busy forever.”

  He leaned a shoulder against the wide trunk of the tree and propped a foot on a thick upraised root. “Our mill couldn’t handle a tree that size.”

  “Oh.”

  “Have you considered what size stove you’ll need for our kitchen?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “I need to order the stove so it’s here when I get the kitchen ready. What do you want?”

  She shook her head, jarred by his abrupt change of topic. She should be used to his penchant for keeping their conversation to business, but every time he did it, she felt her hopes for an intimate union with him plummet.

  “Our wedding is in less than twelve weeks, Ev. You need to make a decision.”

  “I know that, Kyle, I just thought we could do this another time. I thought you wanted to talk to me tonight.”

  “We’re talking, aren’t we?” When she didn’t respond, Kyle shoved away from the tree. “What’s bothering you? You’ve been acting odd ever since Radford came home. Are you still upset that he’s running the livery?”

  “No,” she said, and though it was true she’d been acting skittish around Radford, being unable to communicate with Kyle had nothing to do with his brother. Kyle honestly didn’t understand her, and she had no idea how to reach him. Sometime after his father died, Kyle had ceased to dream, and now he was incapable of going back.

  “Ev.” He slipped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “Daydreaming doesn’t run the mill or the livery for us so it’s best to keep our minds on what needs to be done.”

  He was right of course, but she missed the boy she could play with.

  The following morning after Radford and Evelyn had serviced three customers and rented out a rig, Evelyn waited on the porch with her father while Radford brought the wagon around. As he pulled up, Rebecca sat at his side, gazing at the world around her as if seeing it all for the first time.

  Radford vaulted to the ground, caught Evelyn’s waist, and lifted her onto the back of the wagon before she knew what was happening. The feel of his strong hands around her ribs sent a queer thrill up her sides and she grasped his arms, looking down into his eyes.

  He smiled up at her. “You can let go now,” he said, nodding at her fingers gripping his biceps.

  “Oh!” She yanked her hands away and moved to the side of the wagon. “I wasn’t ready to board yet. I need to help Papa first.”

  With a casual step to the side, Radford blocked her descent. “I’ll give him a hand.” Radford turned away and placed the toolbox on the ground beside her father to use as a step. “Can you manage with that, William?”

  Her father eyed the box. “I can sure as heck try.”

  Evelyn stared at Radford, wondering what he was up to. He had deliberately put her out of the way then cut her off. Didn’t he realize that her father was too frail to board alone? “Wait, Papa,” she said. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

  “If I can’t hike these old bones aboard, Radford can give me a push.”

  Worried, but unwilling to argue with her father, Evelyn held her breath as she watched him struggle to climb aboard. He braced his weak left leg and stepped with the right, gripping his cane as he slowly made the step, and the next. When he finally collapsed onto the seat, his face was red, but his eyes held a look of victory.

  “Keep that... toolbox handy, son,” he said, winded but glowing.

  Radford laughed as he chucked the box onto the wagon bed and climbed aboard. With a wink at Evelyn, Radford urged the Morgans forward and drove them to town.

  “Why don’t you leave Rebecca with Evelyn?” her father suggested to Radford when they stopped at Brown and Shepherd’s store. “She ain’t interested in horse feed and flooring nails. There’s all kinds of gewgaws for her to look at in Aggie’s store.”

  “We’ll only be at the feed depot a few minutes, William.”

  “That’s right, so let Rebecca go snoop around here for a bit.”

  Evelyn saw the indecision in Radford’s expression, but he turned to his daughter and asked reluctantly, “Do you want to stay here?”

  Rebecca glanced at Evelyn, who encouraged her with a smile then shifted her gaze back to her daddy. “Will you come back?”

  “Of course, sweetheart.” Radford’s expression softened and his shoulders dropped. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

  “I will,” she said hesitantly.

  Radford’s expression said he didn’t want to leave Rebecca with anyone, but to Evelyn’s surprise, he climbed down and stood Rebecca on the boardwalk.

  Thank you, Papa! Evelyn vaulted from the wagon before Radford could touch her again. Her ribs were still tingling from the feel of his hands on her waist.

  “I’ll keep her right beside me,” Evelyn said then opened the door to Brown and Shepherd’s before Radford could change his mind.

  Rebecca followed Evelyn inside, her tiny nose pointed upward as she sniffed the air.

  Evelyn gestured to a table across the store. “The scented soaps and spices make it smell pretty in here. Look around if you like.”

  At first, Rebecca lingered near Evelyn then grew bolder and began to wander the store.

  Evelyn selected a can of Eureka harness oil, a can of lard, a bag of flour, and a jar of molasses. Her hand lingered on a small cake of jasmine-scented soap, a fragrance her mother used to wear. She lifted it to her nose, basking in the lovely scent, immersing herself in the nostalgia of old memories.

  She could buy it this time if she wanted to. Business
was already picking up now that folks knew Radford was at the livery.

  It pricked her pride, but Evelyn understood it wasn’t her lack of skill that caused her livery to fail. It was mostly because she was a woman doing a man’s job. Maybe her father saw that and thought Radford’s presence would give her a chance to bring the business back to life. Then again, maybe he had just lost faith in her because business had gotten so bad.

  Evelyn laid the soap back in the basket and wiped her hand on the front of her shirt, hoping to keep some of the scent with her. The feel of her coarse cambric blouse returned her sanity and she turned away from temptation. How foolish of her to bother with frivolities. She spent her time with horses and hay and work that made her hands as rough as a man’s. What use would someone like her have for scented soap?

  A quick in-drawn breath drew her attention to the front corner of the store. Rebecca was pressing both hands to her cheeks and staring at a cradle that held a small doll with a painted porcelain head. The sleeping baby doll was wrapped in a soft white blanket with a pink bonnet on her head.

  Slowly, Rebecca squatted beside the cradle and peered inside. Her eyes took in every inch of the sleeping infant until she appeared breathless with wanting to touch it.

  Evelyn laid her items on a stack of boys’ clothing then went to Rebecca. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

  “She’s beau-tee-ful....” Rebecca fairly breathed the words, she was in such awe over the rosy-cheeked baby. Her small fingers closed over the side of the cradle, but she did not touch the doll.

  Evelyn wanted to tell her she could take her home, but a doll like that would cost far more than a simple cake of soap. Regretfully, she knelt beside Rebecca and unthinkingly stroked the tiny, rounded back, her own heart full of misery. She had no idea how Radford managed his finances and wouldn’t risk embarrassing him by showing him something that he might not be able to afford to buy for his daughter. But she would find out the price and talk to him about it later.

  “I’m sorry, honey, but I don’t have enough money to buy your baby doll today.”

  Rebecca’s expression fell and she cast a long, sad look at the doll.

  “Maybe we can come see her another time, sweetheart.”

  Rebecca touched the white blanket that covered the infant, letting her fingertips trail across the cotton softness. “Bye, baby,” she whispered. She gathered her worn blanket and turned away, following Evelyn without a single word of complaint.

  Evelyn felt awful, especially since Rebecca accepted the loss as though she were used to going without the things she loved. Other than her blanket, Rebecca had no toys that Evelyn had seen. Where was her doll? Didn’t Radford know that little girls needed things like baby dolls?

  Evelyn searched for the items she had left on a pile of ready-made clothing. A small pair of britches caught her eye and she picked them up, thinking how much easier it would be for Rebecca to play in them instead of her dresses.

  “Oh, Evelyn, surely you’re not thinking of purchasing those for this precious child?” Agatha Brown asked, stopping beside her and peering down at Rebecca.

  Evelyn smiled at the store owner. No, she wasn’t considering it. She would never make Rebecca into a misfit like herself. “I was looking for my jar of molasses.”

  “Well, thank goodness,” Agatha said, retrieving Evelyn’s missing jar from between two piles of trousers. “You know how children like to imitate.”

  Before Evelyn could reply, the bell over the door rang. Both women glanced up as Radford came in, scanned the store with anxious eyes then headed directly toward them.

  “There you are,” he said, scooping Rebecca into his arms as though he’d been away from her for a year rather than fifteen minutes. “Have you introduced yourself to Mrs. Brown?” he asked, winking at Agatha.

  “We haven’t had a chance, young man. Perhaps you can introduce yourself, as well.”

  “You don’t remember?” Radford asked with mock surprise. “Well, I used to be your best customer. Remember those delicious molasses cookies you used to sell every Saturday morning?”

  The barest hint of pleasure crossed Mrs. Brown’s face. “Why, I haven’t baked them in ten years.”

  “I’m disappointed to hear that. I moved back to Fredonia just for your cookies.”

  A small laugh escaped her. “You just gave yourself away with that Grayson charm.”

  Evelyn was astonished by how much younger a simple smile made Mrs. Brown look. Why, if she tried, Agatha might even be pretty.

  Radford took Mrs. Brown’s hand. “Radford Grayson, at your service,” he said, bowing slightly, “and this is my daughter, Rebecca.”

  “Your mother must be thrilled to have you back home.”

  “She certainly is,” William said, as he thumped into the store. “How are you, Aggie?”

  Agatha’s gaze flew to William. “Since you’ve finally decided to grace my store, William Tucker, I’d like to know if I’m ever going to see your daughter in anything but britches.”

  Though Evelyn suspected Mrs. Brown was tweaking her father, she couldn’t let him be taken to task for her appearance. “I wear a dress every Sunday, Mrs. Brown.”

  William tapped his cane on Evelyn’s toe. “I’m old, but I’m still capable of fightin’ my own battles.” William gave Mrs. Brown a solicitous grin. “Besides, Aggie and I are old sparring partners, aren’t we?”

  A flicker of amusement flashed in the woman’s eyes before it was quickly disguised. “We are nothing of the sort.”

  He rubbed his jaw. “Hmmmm... I recall being threatened by a frying pan once.”

  “You hush your mouth in front of these children!”

  William hawed until he swayed on his cane. “I forgot how easy it was to get you in a pucker, Aggie.”

  “Let me wrap these for you,” Mrs. Brown said, ignoring Evelyn’s father as she took Evelyn’s items to the counter.

  William hobbled over and joined them. “You’re blushing, Aggie.”

  Mrs. Brown pursed her lips. Her eyes sparkled and a dimple marked her cheek. “It’s stuffy in here. Maybe I just need some fresh air.”

  William drew himself up as if greatly honored. “Are you asking me to stroll the boardwalk with you?”

  Mrs. Brown caught her laugh behind her hand. “Certainly not.”

  Evelyn took her package and exchanged a curious look with Radford. As if he sensed her unease, Radford pointed to a jar on the counter. “I’ll take four licorice sticks, please,” he said, placing the necessary coins on the counter.

  “It’s been too long, Aggie,” her father said then gave her a bold wink before Evelyn guided him from the store.

  Evelyn climbed in the back while Radford helped her father onto the wagon seat then set Rebecca between them. “You too old to enjoy a good chew, William?”

  “It’s been years since I had one of these,” her father said, sticking it in his mouth with a happy grin.

  “What’s going on with you and Agatha Brown?” Evelyn asked, but he didn’t answer. She scooted forward and opened her mouth to pursue the question, but Radford filled it with a licorice stick. He wagged his own piece of candy in front of her nose as though shaking a warning finger then gave Evelyn a knowing wink.

  Lord, his eyes were disconcerting at such proximity. It was like coming nose to nose with a tiger. Evelyn felt her whole body flush and wasn’t sure if her mouth watered from the candy or the vision in front of her.

  Radford handed a licorice to his daughter, but directed his question to Evelyn. “I hope she wasn’t any trouble.”

  The reminder of Rebecca walking away from the doll without a peep rent Evelyn’s heart. Blast it all! She’d been too caught up in her father’s escapade to ask the price of the doll.

  “Wait! I forgot something,” she said, vaulting from the wagon then rushing back to Brown and Shepherd’s.

  Chapter Seven

  Intrigued by the throaty, enchanting voice coming from the back of the liv
ery, Radford stealthily crept toward the sound. He peered around the edge of a stall and saw Evelyn sitting on a small stool with her back to him, singing softly and poking at something in her lap. After a moment, she lifted her head and raised an open palm toward the stall in front of her.

  “Come here, Gus,” she cajoled, her voice so low and alluring that Radford had the sudden, insane urge to do as she bid.

  Jolted by the sensual tug of Evelyn’s voice, Radford clenched his fists. It was growing incredibly difficult to perceive her as a tomboy when he witnessed moments like this. She had a private softness to her manner, a natural grace that emphasized too clearly the woman she’d become in his absence. No wonder Rebecca was drawn to the woman in Evelyn. He certainly was.

  A snort from the stall regained Radford’s attention and he stared in disbelief as Gus lowered his muzzle into Evelyn’s palm. He had been certain the horse was ruined or would take months to rehabilitate, yet Gus was responding to Evelyn after only two weeks. What was it about Evelyn that had such allure? And why did he have to notice?

  Radford watched from a distance as Evelyn slowly stood up. The horse shied when her hand neared his recent wound, but she continued the same methodical petting and crooning, running her palms along his sleek coat until he calmed.

  Imagining the soothing comfort of Evelyn’s hands, roughened from work, yet gentle in her ministrations, made Radford envy the horse. How long had it been since he’d been comforted by a loving touch?

  He dragged his thoughts back to less painful ground as Evelyn sat down on her stool. Silently, he crossed the livery then knelt beside her, willing his hands not to touch the long, thick strand of hair that had come loose from her braid. He was lonely, that was all. That was why he was drawn to Evelyn. Her compassion touched everyone, and the wounded couldn’t help but respond.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  Evelyn let out a small yelp of surprise. “You have a bad habit of scaring me, Radford!”