Shattered by Shadows: The Innocence Cycle, Book 1

by J D Abbas

  “Are you saying someone who has your kind of abilities is able to see the images in her mind from a distance?”

  “Their abilities are far greater than mine,” Elbrion said. “But yes, that is what I meant.”

  “And they’re able to disrupt her thoughts?”

  “It would seem so.”

  “Would that also mean they can see what she’s seeing at this moment?” Celdorn’s concern was mounting.

  “It is not as if one can see through the eyes of another, to use her to look out at our world. It is more accurate to say that when she is focusing on an image, bringing it to life in her mind, it does not stay within the boundary of her own skin. Others who are able to receive the image may do so.”

  “But how would they disrupt her thoughts or stop her from seeing images?”

  “That I do not know.”

  “If Elena were to focus on what she has seen here, if she were replaying it in her mind, could they see that?”

  “It is possible.”

  Elena clutched at her chest. “I told you. I told you they can read my thoughts. They can find me anywhere. I told you, and you didn’t believe me,” she cried before gulping at the air.

  Celdorn moved in front of the girl and squatted down. “You’re still safe, Elena, even if they can see your thoughts. You’re protected here. They can’t reach you.”

  “But they saw the images. They know I told you. That means death.” She grabbed her head. “Someone’s. Going. To die,” she gasped between shuddering breaths.

  “They only know that you had the images in your mind. They do not know for what purpose,” Elbrion countered.

  Elena teetered on the edge of collapse.

  “Do you want to lie on the bed for a while?” Celdorn asked. “You can hear us from there.”

  “No, I want to stay next to you.” She grabbed for his hand, glancing over her shoulder as if she expected to find someone about to snatch her away.

  Sasha pulled back from Elena and growled, the hair on her spine bristling. Again, the dog sniffed around behind the girl’s chair, making wider sweeps until she was satisfied that there was no threat. When she returned to Elena, she sat beside her, back to the table, eyes sweeping the room, as if on guard duty.

  Celdorn was a bit unnerved by Sasha’s strange behavior. He found himself studying the shadows and corners of the room. He shook his head and got a grip on his fanciful thoughts. Turning to Elbrion, he asked, “Is there a way for Elena to shield her mind from this kind of invasion?”

  “I do not know. Elena, do you remember anyone ever talking to you about the images in your mind or how to use your gift?”

  “No one ever talked about it being my power. It was always about their ability to know what I was thinking and doing.”

  “Did they ever ask you to see inside another’s mind? Or to tell them what someone else was feeling?”

  Elena’s gaze turned inward. “It’s all jumbled. I was often drugged, so it’s distorted.” Distress washed over her face. “There was a time they...punished someone because of me.” She faltered, her face the picture of agony. “They said I had told them she was planning to escape. I did know, but I was sure I never told them...well, I wasn’t sure...but I didn’t remember telling them. I wonder now, did they see the images in my mind?” A tear slid down her cheek; she swiped it away. “It was my fault. I told them without knowing.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She’s dead,” Elena whispered, shoving fingers into her eyes as if to push back the tears. Celdorn wished she would just let them fall, give release to the pain.

  Elbrion moaned and leaned forward, holding his head in his hands.

  “Are you seeing it?” Elena’s eyes darted toward Elbrion then away, flitting, as if searching for a means of escape. “Forgive me,” she wailed into the air. Sasha backed away from the girl, ears flattened, and gave a deep bark.

  Elena began to strike her own head with sharp, vicious blows as if to kill the memories.

  Sasha gave another anxious bark as Celdorn grabbed the girl’s hands. “Elena, stop. Open your eyes.” When she didn’t respond, he let go of her hands and held her face. “Look at me.”

  Her lids slid unevenly open, revealing a vast cavern of grief, profound and fathomless, swirling with agonized specters. Anguish moved through his body, rendering him mute. All his arrogant words of empathy and wisdom vanished in a breath.

  “You are not to blame, Elena.” Elbrion spoke softly, his head still in his hands. “You did not know they could see the images in your mind. They manipulated you and used your gift against you.”

  When Sasha nudged him aside, Celdorn broke free of the spell that had transfixed him. He knew there was more to this story, but they didn’t have time to dwell on it. “Elena, we need to focus here and now. The morning is wearing away, and we need more answers.”

  Sasha reclaimed the girl’s lap, and Elena threw her arms around the dog’s neck and nodded.

  Celdorn moved his chair closer and gripped Elena’s hand. “At this place by the Vandillon, who is in charge?”

  Elena stared into Celdorn’s eyes as she answered, as if to draw upon his strength. “There are three, one man from each of the villages. I don’t know all their names. The one from my village is Palazar. I know nothing more than that.”

  Celdorn squeezed her hand, insistently.

  Elena’s eyes flashed back and forth, as if arguing with herself. “There’s a woman, a powerful woman. She’s skilled in the manipulation of the mind. Her name is”—Elena winced and swatted at her ears as if shooing a fly—“Anakh. She isn’t from the villages, but she’s there...in that place...much of the time. She’s evil.” Elena shuddered.

  Elbrion asked, “Does she look or talk like me?”

  “No.” Elena sucked in a breath. “She’s as dark as you are light, as if shadows move in her veins.”

  Elena drifted to another place. Celdorn redirected her. “How many of them are in the camp at any given time?”

  “It varies, depending on who’s traveling and if the trainers are there?”

  “Are there certain times when the trainers come?”

  “Usually four times each year. They are due sometime soon. When the trees are first budding, they come.”

  “When the trainers are there, how many use the services?”

  “Sometimes a hundred.” Celdorn felt nauseous. “Other times there might be ten at most.”

  Celdorn rubbed his neck and considered possibilities. “Do you have other family in the village?”

  Her focus returned. “Yes, my mother and three brothers. One is dead.” Again, grief consumed her eyes, and her attention drifted.

  “Is your mother a victim of your father as well?”

  “No.” She snapped the word but kept her eyes averted.

  “Does she know what he’s doing with you?”

  “Yes.” She paused, straightened in her chair, and then stared hard at Celdorn, her eyes black. “My mother gives me to my father in her stead.” She read the question in his look. “Yes, that’s what I mean.” Angry flames danced in her eyes and shadows grew with the intensity of her words. Sasha frantically licked the hands that had released her neck and curled into fists. “She puts me in his bed then calls me whore. She knows what the others do with me, and she does nothing.”

  Rumbling broke out around the table. Mikaelin got up and paced at the far end of the room.

  “And your brothers?”

  “They’re all older, except the one that died, and they’ve left home. I don’t think they know about…what I do.”

  Elena started to turn away, but Celdorn gently gripped her chin. “I thought you said they brought your brother back to life?”

  Elena met his gaze, her eyes shifting to green, and her chin quivered. “My younger brother is dead. It was the brother before me who they killed then brought back.”

  When Elbrion glanced up at her, she yelled, “Get out of my head! I don’t want
you to see.”

  “I am not entering your mind. Your thoughts are coming at me. I cannot control it.” Elbrion looked as if he’d aged ten years. Dark pouches hung beneath his eyes, lines creased his forehead, while his light pulsed dimly and erratically.

  “Then leave! Or…or get me out of here. I don’t want you seeing my secrets!”

  Elbrion’s brow furrowed as he closed his eyes and returned his head to his hands.

  “Elbrion stays. I need him here, little one.” Celdorn held Elena’s face again but softened his tone when panic leapt into her eyes. “He’s most trustworthy and will never hurt you or use this against you in any way. We live with truth here, and this is all part of your truth.”

  Celdorn waited until he saw the fear subside before pressing her. “Please go on.”

  Elena’s swimming eyes darted back and forth with frenetic energy. “The brother they revived was also...assaulted by my father. I watched it happen. I suspect my other brothers were...misused when they were at home, though I didn’t see it.”

  The pace of her eyes slowed as melancholy took over. “I don’t know if they are aware of the things he did to me. We never spoke of it. After they left my father’s home, I was rarely allowed to see them, so I don’t know how they fare. I am certain they are not a part of my father’s ugly business.”

  “Are there any other family members who are involved?”

  Elena pulled her face away from his hands and focused on the floor. “My father’s mother. She began my training. She’s the most malevolent of all.” A shadow passed over her again and, with a stronger, deeper voice, she continued. “Her name is Vargona. She lives in Neldon with her brother. I don’t know his name.” A rage smoldered just beneath the surface in her darkening eyes; her jaw twitched and tightened. “I only met him when I was small. My grandmother burned my hands and locked me in a grain bin overnight for scratching him when he tried to sit me on his naked lap. I was only two or three.”

  “Argh,” Mikaelin groaned and was out of his seat again, moving to the far end of the room.

  Elena glanced at him and clapped a hand over her mouth, the fire in her steely eyes immediately doused. Her gaze turned to the floor but her eyes were moving rapidly again. She leaned toward Celdorn and whispered, “My life is already forfeit. Is that not enough?”

  Her words jolted Celdorn. To him, she'd only shared information—truth. He’d been so wrapped up in her disclosure, he hadn’t considered what it cost her to speak. “It is. I’m sorry for pushing you.” He laid his hand on her forearm and was grieved when she pulled away.

  Elena shriveled into herself, wrapping her arms tightly around each other, while Sasha nuzzled in closer and leaned her massive head against the girl’s small chest.

  Celdorn had heard enough. It was time for decisions and judgment.

  Chapter 17

  Celdorn sighed and rose from the side of Elena’s chair. He walked the length of the room several times, stopping at the far end. “Silvandir, are the men and Ilqazar ready?”

  “They await only your instructions on where and when to assemble.”

  He turned to the others. “I seek your wisdom and guidance.”

  Tobil spoke. “I say we go to the encampment by the Vandillon first and clean up the filth there. Then to the villages in circuit, following what information we have and may gain at the camp. We should move immediately. It’s near mid-morning.”

  Silvandir said, “Wouldn’t it be wiser to divide the men and enter the encampment and the villages at the same time? That way, no warnings can be given, allowing any of the vermin to go underground.”

  “I’m with Silvandir. Spread out and get as many of those bastards as we can in one fierce, coordinated strike.” Mikaelin’s voice came out in a growl. “Wipe their stench from Qabara as quickly as possible. If we all know each other’s locations, we can send messengers. We have the speed of the Ilqazar for such.”

  Shatur absently massaged the end of his damaged arm. “How many men do you plan to send out?”

  “I was thinking fifty, but if we break into four groups, we’ll need more. I want no less than twenty together. We don’t know what we may encounter.” He turned to Elena. “Do they keep weapons at the encampment?”

  “Only what they use for torture,” she replied flatly.

  Celdorn closed his eyes and shook his head, his anger seething again. “Are there weapon stores in your village?”

  “Not that I know of, though the travelers who use the services usually carry swords and knives.”

  Celdorn considered. “I hesitate to separate the men. I want to know what’s happening at each location. I reserve the right to make the difficult decisions. I don’t wish to lay that burden on anyone else.”

  “Or is it, my friend,” Haldor countered, “that your wrath is such that you desire to be present at all locations to see the justice meted out?”

  “I don’t know my heart well enough to answer you honestly, Haldor. I want to say it is my responsibility as the Lord Protector to be present when such grave judgments must be made, and not merely vengeance, that drives my hesitation to divide my men, but the rage inside me tells me my thoughts are neither clear nor pure. This is why I have many advisors.” He laid his hand on Elbrion’s shoulder. “You’ve remained silent. How would you direct me?”

  Elbrion answered without looking up. “I say we know too little of what we may encounter.” He paused. “Due to the urgency, I would agree with Silvandir. Though I advise sending as many in each company as you can spare. Do not underestimate the power of this evil.”

  “I must also consider how many are needed to manage and defend the keep. I don’t want to leave our home vulnerable.”

  After some debate, he decided they would send out three companies of forty, sending none to Proso until they found information worth pursuing.

  “El-Elena, wh-what’s wrong?” Braiden was leaning across the table trying to get the girl’s attention.

  The men stopped talking and turned. Elena was holding her hands over her ears and rocking back and forth, her whole body shaking. She hadn’t heard Braiden. Sasha whined and licked Elena’s arms.

  Celdorn moved to her side, pushing Sasha back, and squatted down. He gently pulled her hands from her ears. “Are you all right?”

  She shook her head. Looking half-crazed, she continued to sway rhythmically. Sasha tried to squeeze between Celdorn and Elena. When he wouldn’t give way, she crawled under the table and nuzzled Elena’s thigh, then rested her nose on the edge of the chair, too big to get closer.

  “What’s troubling you?”

  She didn’t respond, but her body started to shrink even as Celdorn watched.

  Elbrion, who seemed frozen in place, chanted in quiet, steady tones from across the table. With each phrase, the girl breathed easier and returned to herself.

  “Speak your heart,” Celdorn urged.

  Elena stared at him from glazed eyes. Her voice came out soft and ragged. “You are...planning to destroy all that I know.” She paused; her emerald eyes glistened with tears, which she swiped away. “Much blood will be spilt because of me. I will be orphaned...outcast,” she whispered. “The world as I know it will be no more...” Her eyes resumed their pendulumic movement. “And all that I know outside that life is in this room...and you’re all leaving...soon. I’ll be in this strange place, unable to move or care for myself, knowing that I’m responsible for the blood that flows elsewhere—” Her voice broke. “I can’t... I don’t know... I...” She stopped.

  Elena’s sorrow and guilt were so intense, Celdorn felt them move into his body with the force of a battering ram, and from what he observed, the same was happening with his men.

  Celdorn paced again, his own agitation rising. “Elena, forgive our insensitivity, my insensitivity. I assumed you would be glad to be free of that place. It didn’t occur to me that you’d feel homeless. This place is home to me, but it’s strange to you. These men are my dearest friends and I fully
trust them, but you’ve only known them for one day—you’ve only known me for a day. And then the only ones you know, and hopefully have begun to trust, are departing. And you don’t know if I’ve planned for your care—I have, but you didn’t know that. And it now occurs to me that my plan is lacking. I can’t leave you without a familiar face.” He paused and scanned the room. “One of you must remain here.”

  He continued without waiting for a response; his pounding steps echoed in the silence. “That you’re responsible for the blood that will flow is absurd.” His voice punched. “These trainers have committed indefensible, immoral crimes against the most vulnerable, innocent ones. Their punishment is just and the consequence of their own actions.” He became more incensed as he paced, his stride quickening. “And you aren’t the one dealing out the retribution. There’s no blood on your hands—” Celdorn stopped short when he glanced at Elena, who was cowering into Sasha as if she’d just been flogged. The dog had reclaimed her place and the girl clutched handfuls of fur as she pressed her face into Sasha’s ear, muttering nonsense.

  Shaking his head in frustration, Celdorn returned to her side and knelt down. “I’m sorry, yet again, little one. My words have flown far too quickly and carelessly.” He paused, his focus on the floor. “It’s as foolish for me to tell you not to feel what you do as it is to presume that I know and understand what you’re feeling. Forgive me.”

  Those words seemed to grab Elena’s attention. She peeked up at him.

  “I’ll slow down.” He measured his words and kept his tone calm. “Your home, as you knew it, will soon be gone.” He nodded as pain flashed in her eyes. “I want to assure you that you have a home here, with us. I knew without a doubt from the moment we found you, that you had become our responsibility. We were meant to find you, and we will take care of you. We’ll help you heal and regain strength and independence. We’ll assist you in finding new purpose. And perhaps, most importantly, we’ll be a family to you, as fallible and strange as we are—if you’ll have us.” He took her hands in his and kissed them tenderly.