Accidentally Ever After (Accidentally Paranormal Novel Book 11)

by Dakota Cassidy

  She wanted them to have this night—or at least to salvage what was left of the season. She needed them to have it back, and looking for Jon would keep them from their appointment to go home.

  “You three have to go meet the king. But I have to look for Jon and Dannan,” she murmured.

  Marty sighed a breathy sigh and smiled fondly. “Ah, love. You’re in love.”

  Was this love? Did this gnawing ache in her belly, this panic she felt without him at her side, mean love? “Can I ask you all a question?”

  “Always,” Wanda whispered.

  “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

  “Probably,” Nina agreed with a grin. “But ask anyway. I need some shit to snark while we figure out what to do next, and you amuse me.”

  Toni looked down at her hands, fiddling with the front of her dress. “When you first met your husbands, did you see a glow around their heads and hear a harp strumming softly in the distance?”

  “Oh, ’tis true love, milady!” one of the handmaidens said on a wistful sigh as she gathered brushes and bows, putting them back in her basket.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “When a maiden falls in love—real love—her true mate presents himself with music and beautiful lights shining down from the heavens. ’Tis how you know he’s the one,” she said on a wink.

  “But it’s so soon…We’ve only known each other a little while,” she managed to murmur. Not a chance in hell would she hook up for life with a guy she’d only known a few weeks if she were back in Jersey.

  The handmaiden smiled knowingly. “That is what the inside of your head tells you, but the inside of your chest, right here,” she said, pointing to her heart, “it always knows best. For now, I must go tend to the others, but I wish you, your true love and everyone in your party the very best of the holiday season.” She waved and skipped off to the door of the bedroom.

  “A harp, huh?” Nina asked. “I saw stars for sure. I think I remember flashing lights, too.”

  Marty nodded, a soft smile spreading her lips. “Yeah. No music, but I knew. I just knew.”

  Wanda gave Toni a tight squeeze. “I need you to trust me about something, Toni, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said with great hesitance.

  “I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know why no one seems to know who Jon is, but I promise you this—he’s crazy about you, and I think you’re crazy about him, too. I know you’re warring with that notion because it appears he’s deserted you and you want to hate him for making you care. But don’t. Not yet. Your heart is sending you a message your head wants to overrule. But something’s happened with him, to him. Something, and I intend to find out what that something is. Until then, promise me you won’t let your crazy imagination get the best of you. Jon did not desert you. He just wouldn’t do that.”

  How Wanda could be so sure baffled her. Maybe Toni was too thick in the mud to see clearly.

  Her nod was slow, but she still wasn’t totally convinced. “You know, you once said to me something wasn’t right about him. Should I trust that, too?”

  Wanda nodded, her hair never moving. “You absolutely should. Something isn’t right. I think I also said I thought he was a good guy or something to that effect. I don’t necessarily think what I said has to do with some kind of deceit that would hurt you. I refuse to believe he’s willingly not by your side. So until we figure this out, promise me you won’t jump to conclusions? Let’s get the entire picture first. Until then, it’s Christmas, for crap’s sake, and I believe in miracles.”

  Toni shuddered a breath and prayed for one of those miracles. “We don’t have a lot of time left. Once we see the king and he gives me whatever I’m supposed to get, and you all prove you’ve done your tasks as fairy godmothers, I’m assuming you can leave. At least that’s what Brenda implied anyway. I’m not going to let you waste another second here in this realm if you’re missing the holiday with your families. I just won’t.”

  “Then we go find the fuck before we meet the king,” Nina said. “Then I beat Flawless’s ass for ditching us like so much landfill and make him squeal like a girl. And if I find that damn knock-off of Shrek, I’ll beat his ass, too. Can’t believe after all that all-for-one-and-one-for-all musketeer bullshit, he just left us like we didn’t mean shit.”

  But Toni offered a sobering thought. “Have you seen the size of this castle? It could take a week to find the kitchen, and that’s if you know where you’re going. How will we find him in this maze in less than an hour? No way am I letting you guys miss this appointment with King Dick. If I’m not going back to Jersey, you three most certainly are. No matter what. Especially you, Nina. You can’t hold out much longer like this without a good infusion of some blood.”

  Marty rushed to Toni’s side and grabbed her hand, her blonde hair erect as ever. “No one’s leaving anyone anywhere, honey. We’re a team—Team Toni. Period. Now, I’m not a werewolf for nothing. I know Jon’s scent, and if he’s still here in the castle, or on the grounds, I’ll find him. Nina’s got the same superpower I do, as does Wanda. Our senses might be dulled because of whatever Brenda did and this crazy fairy godmother stint, but I’m pretty sure I could smell a man as fabulous as Jon even without my full werewolf senses. So I say we split into groups of two and we do this. You in?”

  Nina nodded, her head’s up-and-down bob sluggish. “Yeah, yeah. Wonder Twin powers activate. Let’s roll before I collapse the fuck all over the floor.”

  Wanda nodded her perfectly coiffed head, her wings throbbing a muted whir. “We meet in the ballroom in forty minutes. No longer, understood? We all need to be accounted for before we take this a step further. We’ll regroup then if we don’t find him.”

  Toni looked to Carl, who, while considered odd by the castle members, was allowed to stay indoors and wander throughout their connecting rooms. “You with us, buddy?”

  Carl stomped his hoof in favor of finding Jon.

  “All right, girls,” Wanda said, raising her arm high. “Let’s really storm the castle!”

  * * * *

  “Who dares to imprison us, Günter? Answer the question!” Jon raged, shaking the bars of the cell he and Dannan were stuffed inside, in the prison below the castle.

  But the guard refused to turn and address them, keeping his back to the cell.

  Dannan, the top of his head bent sideways with his cheek against the cell’s ceiling, poked him with a big toe to his shoulder blades. “Lad, quiet! I cannot think when yer caterwaulin’ like a woman!”

  Jon sneered, gritting his teeth. “We must get to Toni before she sees the king and possibly leaves the realm forever. How else would you have me do that but make demands, ogre?”

  If she left the realm without giving him the chance to tell her of his heart, to tell her the truth, he’d never forgive himself.

  “Has it helped ye so far? Nay. Now pipe down and let yer old friend think.”

  “The women will never find us here in time, Dannan. We must find someone who will listen to the truths I speak. Unlike Günter, who has clearly been ordered to ignore my commands at all costs!” Jon spat.

  “Ye should have thought of what the prince would do if he felt threatened. He is not as strong as ye, lad. We are imprisoned because his decisions are based on fear. And ye should have thought to tell yer lady love much sooner, ye fool!” Dannan grumbled.

  Jon paced the floor, knowing his friend was right, knowing exactly why he was locked up in this cell. “Aye, but that is done now. I cannot change such. Now we must find our way out of here quickly.” Before he lost the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his days with.

  “’Tis good ye are my friend or I would have eaten yer foolish hide by now.”

  He grabbed onto the bars again and rattled them, his knuckles going white from the effort. “Damn you, man, you must listen to me!”

  But Günter refused to turn, making him a loyal guard to the king, but hellfire and damnation, now wasn’t the time to p
rove his worth.

  “Lad?”

  Jon whipped around, and if not for their circumstances, he’d roll on the filthy cell floor with laughter at the sight Dannan made, squished into a corner as though he were a rag doll a child had shoved into her tiny dollhouse. But right now, he was too angry.

  “What, man?”

  He grinned, wide and mischievous. “I think I have a plan.”

  Chapter 14

  Toni latched on to Nina’s arm and pulled her close, growing more worried by the second at the vampire’s paler-than-pale skin. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Get the fuck off me and stop doing the mother-hen shit. I get enough of that crap from Marty and Wanda. Just shut up and keep moving.”

  But Toni gasped, clamping her hand over her mouth.

  Nina stopped dead in the middle of a long halfway that appeared to go on for a thousand miles with nothing in between the beginning and end. “Now what?”

  She lifted a finger and pointed at Nina’s face, her eyes going wide. “You’re lying.”

  Nina squinted at her. “Did you just call be a liar? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

  Now Toni narrowed her eyes and shook her finger. “You’re lying about feeling all right. The proof is in the pudding. The pudding being your nose!” She gave the end of Nina’s nose, pushing farther from her face, a tweak, fighting hysterical laughter.

  The vampire lifted her hand to her face and snarled. “Goddammit, Sparkly Pants, fix this!”

  Toni gave her a look of innocence, throwing up her hands. “I don’t know how to fix it, remember? Now stop bullshitting me and slow down. We need to get you somewhere you can rest with Carl and I’ll go the rest of the way alone.”

  Nina grabbed Carl’s harness, pulling him close. “Um, nope. You go nowhere alone, kiddo. We tag team or we call it quits. I’m the muscle, and I always have been.”

  “Well, here in the realm you’re not so muscley, now are you? So stop being so damn difficult and let’s find you a place to catch your breath.”

  “I don’t breathe, twit.”

  Toni rolled her eyes and gave Nina a shove forward. “Then let’s find you a place where you can not breathe, Crusty.”

  When they finally made it to the end of the hallway, they found themselves at a beautiful balcony, graced with sweeping pine boughs and red silk bows. Holly hung from the strands laden with pinecones and berries coated in glistening white sugar.

  Standing on her tiptoes, Toni looked over the edge and inhaled at the sight below her. It was the ballroom. My God, it was amazing. Like every fairytale she’d ever seen come to life on a big screen.

  “Oh, Nina, it’s magnificent.”

  Tall pine trees decorated identically to the boughs on the balcony lined the entryway, where wide doors made of gleaming dark wood stood wide open. A long red carpet ran through the center of the ballroom, leading to the king’s throne.

  Gripping Nina’s upper arm, she led her down the stairs to get a closer look. Guards stood just inside the smaller doorway in suits of armor. Tables with crystalline ice sculptures of Christmas trees dressed the tables. Torches and lanterns glowed from every available corner while a string quartet and a harpist played a soft melody.

  The ballroom was alive with energy. Men in crushed red velvet coats, matching breeches and white stockings ran around the ballroom, readying the space. Fluted glasses with the castles infamous thistleberry wine sat upon sterling silver trays, balanced on the hands of their servers.

  The white marble floor gleamed, the intricate pattern of Castle Beckett’s crest square in the middle, drawing her eyes upward to the vaulted ceilings, where more swags of pine hung. The wide steps leading down into the ballroom were lined with bouquet after bouquet of red and white poinsettias in silver and gold urn vases, picks of pine sprays gracefully draping from them.

  And it was amazing, fabulous, gorgeous. Yet, the beauty was dimmed without Jon to share it with her, dimmer still somehow by the reason she was here. If she wasn’t in such a state of panic that she’d never see Jon again, she would love to soak it all in.

  “Kiddo? We need to get ready to meet this King Dick. Look at the clock.”

  Toni’s eyes flew to the grandfather clock, standing like some ominous entity just inside the ballroom doors. Five minutes until Wanda and Marty showed up and they had to prepare.

  Her heart crashed against her ribs as a man with a trumpet took his place at the top of the steps. They were getting ready for announcements—which meant the king would be taking his place on the throne directly at the other end of the ballroom at any minute.

  If she could just get to him before he became involved in the evening’s activities, she might have a shot at finding Jon—or at least explaining her circumstance.

  It had to happen as soon as possible so he could grant the women their wish to go home, at the very least. Forget about her and her happy-sappy whatever. Nina couldn’t hold out much longer, and Toni would do everything in her power to make sure she saw the king ASAP.

  She turned to Nina and pointed toward a potted pine tree dotted with silk bows in gold and silver just outside the ballroom doors. “Okay, you stay here and wait for Marty and Wanda. Sit on that fancy chair and don’t move. I’m going to try to hit up the king before this shindig begins. Maybe he can help me find Jon.”

  Nina shook her head and gripped Toni’s arm with the weakest grasp she’d displayed since they’d begun this whole thing. Glowering down at her, she said, “Not gonna happen. We stay together or we don’t do it.”

  Marty and Wanda flew down the wide staircase, out of breath, their dresses floating behind them as they rushed up to them. Marty’s eyes went wide when she saw her friend. “Nina! What the hell happened to your nose? Can’t we leave you for five seconds?”

  “Shut up, Blondie, or I’m gonna clip those wings!”

  Toni ignored Nina’s outburst and looked to them with hope. “Anything?”

  Marty shook her head, her cheeks flushed and what looked like vanilla icing at the corner of her mouth. “No, but we heard the craziest story. Apparently that Angria who wants your head? She’s got more trouble than just you, kiddo. The king called off an engagement between her daughter and the king’s son, Prince Somethingorother. The cook claims that the queen’s daughter was supposed to marry the prince since their births, but the king called it off because his psychic or whoever said the queen’s daughter isn’t his one true love. Or something like that. They say tonight is the night this psychic is supposed to reveal who the prince’s true love is. Anyway, it’s all the talk in the kitchens, where, I might add, they have the most fabulously moist cake I’ve ever stolen a swipe of frosting from.”

  Wanda licked her thumb and wiped Marty’s mouth. “This has something to do with you, Toni. I know it does. I just can’t figure out what.”

  Toni shook her head in confusion. “That can’t be right. What do I have to do with King Dick’s son? Nothing. That’s what. Now, you three stay with Nina. I’m going to go find out if I can’t get the king to see me so I can figure out how we might go about getting you three home, pronto.” She turned to leave, but Wanda grabbed her by the arm.

  “Um, no. You go nowhere alone. Are you forgetting this queen wants your head? Are you forgetting she’s sent out every jackhole from here to eternity to try to stop you? I’m telling you—this little castle drama has to do with you. I feel it in my gut. So if we go, we go together. Marty, you stay with Nina and Carl.”

  Nina grabbed Toni’s hand just as she was about to make her way inside the ballroom. “Listen to me, kiddo. Shit feels off. Wanda’s right. I know my vampire senses are all fucked up here in Never-Never Land, but I just have this bad damn vibe I can’t shake. You keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t leave Wanda. Got that?”

  Toni tugged one of her beautiful curls and smiled, trying to keep her hands from shaking. “Got it, Fairy Godmother.”

  She and Wanda clasped hands and began to fight their way into the b
allroom, past the dozens and dozens of servants milling about, setting tables and fluffing flowers, while Toni tried to shake off the same bad vibe she was apparently sharing with Nina.

  * * * *

  Just a little more,” Jon urged Dannan as he reached his long fingers between the thick bars of the cell to try to retrieve the keys.

  Dannan grunted as he strained to yank them from the unconscious Günter’s waist.

  “To the left, my friend. The left,” Jon directed as he stood on top of the lone barrel in their cell, looking out into the prison’s exterior.

  The ogre’s blue fingers swept across the dirt floor, stretching, reaching, all while he grunted.

  “How did ye know about the guard’s distaste for the sight of blood, ogre?”

  “Ye trained with him often while I watched from the woods. When one of the lads was nicked by his opponent’s sword, a mere scratch if ye were to ask me, the boy fell to the ground as if he’d been gutted like a fish when he looked upon a single drop of blood.”

  Jon looked down at the deep gash in his arm from Dannan’s teeth, where he’d bitten him in order to draw enough blood to frighten Günter into passing out. “You bit me, Madman.”

  “I did. ’Twas delicious. Should I ever go back to the ways of the old order of picking humans’ bones clean, I’m comin’ for ye, lad,” he said on another grunt as he finally got ahold of the keys. He swung them around his finger with a grin then tossed them to Jon.

  Jon reached between the cell bars and unlocked it, letting it swing wide as Dannan spilled out of the cramped space with a loud moan, crashing to the hard dirt floor.

  Jon dragged Günter to the far wall of the dank cellar and sat him in a corner, straightening his jacket for him before giving the guard a pat on the shoulder and muttering, “Sorry, friend. I’ll make it up to you. Merry Christmas to you and yours!”

  Dannan clapped him on the shoulder. “Leave him. He will recover. We must go, lad—the hour has just struck nine!”

  As they made their way through the maze of the prison beneath the castle, ducking one lone guard and taking back his sword from the artillery room, Jon could only think of one thing—he would either always remember this moment because he’d won the heart of the woman he would love eternally.