Love Again, Love for Them: A Novel

by R. A. Lee

  Sighing, Jake led her to his car and they rode in silence to the gallery.

  Handing the valet his keys, Jake led the stunning Jenny into the gallery. Men and women, of all ages and backgrounds, hung out on the sidewalk and at the entrance talking about how inspirational the artist was, and Jenny got excited.

  The only thing Jenny loved more than art was discovering new talent. Being creative was frowned upon in her circle, but hanging around an inspirational and aspiring edgy artist was always in vogue.

  “You found this exhibit, Jake?” she asked in admiration and he nodded.

  Another man noticed her admiring the work and made Jenny an offer she couldn’t refuse.

  “Did you want to meet the artist?” he asked eagerly.

  Nodding, Jenny thought that would be an honor.

  “How do you know the artist,” she asked loudly above the packed crowd as he guided them through the admiring guests. Jake didn’t take offense at the men and women staring at the beautiful piece of work that was Jenny.

  “I’m the agent,” Jake heard the man say.

  Following the agent, Jenny prepared to say something intelligent about the artist’s work.

  Tapping an elegantly dressed woman on the shoulder, the agent got the attention of the artist. Jake felt his insides ripped from his body.

  “This is Sandstrom,” the agent said, introducing them. Eyes cutting him apart, Brooke shook Jenny’s hand. Introducing Jake, Brooke nodded. Jake didn’t hear anything Jenny babbled about art, but he noticed how composed and confident Brooke was as she stood there talking to his lover.

  “I was wondering where you got your inspiration,” Jenny chattered and Brooke looked Jake straight in the eyes and seared his heart.

  “It’s not hard coming up with inspiration from the pain we all share in our hearts,” Brooke said staring at Jake. “Inspiration is all around you. Maybe standing right next to you,” she said through gritted teeth.

  Taking a deep breath, Brooke returned to Jenny.

  “You’re very beautiful,” Brooke said wistfully. Straightening, Brooke offered her hand and Jenny gratefully shook it. “I hope you enjoy it enough to take one home,” she laughed and walked away.

  “That was strange,” Jenny confided in Jake as they watched Brooke push through the crowd. Before she got out the door, someone held up the phone and Brooke listened for a moment, dropped the phone and ran out of the gallery.

  Puzzled, Jenny looked at Jake and made a decision.

  “She looks normal, but she’s clearly insane,” she noted. “I think I’m going to get a couple pieces, she’s going to be famous.”

  Jake wanted nothing more than to find out what made Brooke run out of the gallery.

  Pushing his way to the front of the gallery past all the guests mingling and discussing Brooke’s art, Jake got the attention of the person who handed Brooke the phone.

  “Sorry to disturb you, but do you know who called the artist,” he asked. “She seemed despondent.”

  Puzzled, the man said it was her mother-in-law.

  Thanking the man, Jake headed out the door and gave the attendant a large bill to get his car. Waiting impatiently, Jake stood wondering what had happened at home. He tried calling on his cell, but his mother’s line went to voicemail.

  Leaving an urgent message, Jake hung up as his car pulled up. The attendant opened the door and got out. Just as Jake was about to get in, Jenny came out of the gallery calling after him.

  “Emergency at home,” he said, jumping in the driver’s seat.

  Jake drove off after Brooke.

  Chapter 26

  Arriving home, Jake was met by his mother, who was crying.

  “What happened, is everybody alright?” he asked, looking around. Sitting at his desk, MJ looked fine.

  “Grandma got taken in an ambulance,” he said, turning to Jake.

  Backing out of the kitchen, Jake headed to the hospital. Parking illegally, Jake raced inside and was told he would have to wait. While he was pacing, an attendant came out and led Jake to his mother-in-law. Brooke was sitting by her side and when she saw him, there was nothing but fear in her red eyes.

  Hooked up to an IV and other instruments, Brooke’s mother looked frailer than Jake had ever seen her.

  “What happened?” he asked, keeping his distance.

  “Collapsed,” Brooke shrugged. “They’re still running tests.”

  Turning to him now filled with anger, Brooke addressed the meeting at the gallery.

  “You don’t need to be here, Jake,” she snapped. “I don’t want your pity. You’re relieved of all duties.”

  “I know I don’t have to be here,” he whispered, her words impacting him. “I want to be here.”

  Glaring at him, Brooke started crying. The doctor walked in and wanted to speak with Brooke.

  Glaring as she walked by, Brooke walked down the hall with the doctor.

  Jake decided to sit with her mother. Holding her frail hand, Jake felt a squeeze and saw that Brooke’s mother had opened her eyes.

  Rising, Jake saw that she was trying to speak and tugged at the facemask pumping oxygen into her weak body. Jake gently lifted the mask, not sure if he should, but she seemed intent on telling him something.

  Her mouth moved, but Jake couldn’t hear her. Leaning in closer, her mother spoke in broken phrases and Jake listened to her meaning.

  Placing the mask back on her face, Jake nodded and she squeezed his hand.

  Brooke returned, devastated, and Jake quickly rose from the chair and got out of her path. Holding her mother’s hand, Brooke rested her head on her mother’s stomach.

  “I’m taking her home, Jake,” Brooke stated. Jake nodded.

  Kissing her mother’s hand, Brooke escorted Jake to the hallway.

  “This is hard enough for me, Jake,” she said through gritted teeth to hold back her tears. “I don’t want you at home. I can only handle one horrifying event at a time.”

  Jake nodded. This was not the time to help Brooke.

  Turning, Brooke wiped her tears and it was the last he saw of her. Taking a deep breath and gasping, Jake steadied himself.

  On his way back to the city, Jake was still in pain from what had happened in the emergency room. Pulling over, Jake put his head on the steering wheel and cried until he was shaking.

  The last words he would most likely ever hear from Brooke’s mother were loud in his head.

  He only hoped he would have the opportunity to carry out his mother-in-law’s request.

  Chapter 27

  Curled up next to her mother on the full bed she had purchased so her mother could be comfortable while living in her home, Brooke was as scared as if she were a child. The hissing of the machines lulled her to sleep but she denied the urge to close her eyes.

  The doctor said Brooke’s mother might have a few days, they weren’t sure if it was a stroke or something else. Brooke decided she wanted her mother to spend her last moments with family and not in a hospital. Clearing her schedule, Brooke spent day and night with her mother.

  As she lay there, Brooke sat up when her mother woke up. Her mother was trying to say something and Brooke consoled her.

  “Don’t talk,” she whispered. Her mother insisted and squeezed her hand. Brooke lifted the mask and her mother released her weak grip.

  Hot tears burned her cheeks as she looked into her mother’s gaze. It had been a long time since she felt her mother was looking at her.

  “Brooke,” she whispered and Brooke leaned in close.

  “Jake is good man,” she whispered and Brooke shook her head.

  “I don’t want to talk about him,” she said, shaking her head. There was too much she wanted to say to her mother and she had no desire to talk about Jake.

  At the gallery, Brooke almost lost it when she saw Jake and Jenny together. She knew he was seeing her, but to see them actually together was too much for her to comprehend. As long as she didn’t see them together, nothing had c
hanged in their marriage.

  She didn’t want to think about Jake. A committed husband would be there to support her in this time of need. She did not have a committed relationship.

  “Love again,” her mother whispered weakly. Brooke started sobbing and her mother patted her arm and Brooke only barely felt her touch. “Love for them,” she insisted. Breathing heavy, her mother reached for the oxygen mask and Brooke immediately placed it over her mother’s mouth.

  “I love you, mom,” she whispered through sobs while wiping away the never-ending tears. “I just wanted to make you happy,” she stammered.

  Holding her mother’s hand, Brooke lay next to her mother and couldn’t fight sleep any longer. Closing her eyes, she succumbed to its peaceful embrace.

  Waking the next morning, Brooke heard loud beeping and the nurse entered and turned off the machine.

  “Close the door,” Brooke urged quietly. As the nurse closed the door behind her, Brooke took the oxygen mask off her mother and kissed her gaunt, pale cold face. Getting out of the bed, Brooke took a deep breath and helped MJ with his school routine.

  “Can I say ‘hi’ to grandma?” he asked and Brooke lied and said she was sleeping.

  Fixing him breakfast, Brooke welcomed her mother-in-law and asked her to join her in the living room.

  “I need you to take MJ to school,” she requested. “I need this to be a day like any other.”

  Jake’s mother hugged her.

  “I will,” she whispered and left. They went back to the kitchen and Brooke made sure MJ was gone before she locked the door and headed back to her mother’s room.

  The nurse had called the funeral home where they had a pre-arranged pick-up, and Brooke wanted to be with her mother until then.

  Holding her mother’s lifeless hand, Brooke had no more tears. No anger, no fear, no nothing.

  Only groans that escaped when she remembered to breathe.

  Standing to the side while the funeral home attendants carefully took her mother away, Brooke closed the door and sat down on the spot where her mother had taken her last breath.

  Picking up the phone, Brooke dialed and waited for an answer.

  “You need to come home, Jake,” she said and her throat tightened as she fought for her next words. “I need you.”

  Chapter 28

  Weeks after the funeral, Brooke couldn’t get out of her mother’s bed and Jake’s mother helped with MJ, but Jake had to snap Brooke out of her self-pity.

  It was her mother’s dying wish for him to fulfill.

  Her last words to him were for her daughter. She only wanted Brooke’s happiness. When she had pushed him away he thought he would miss his chance, but Brooke had called and it was time for him to support her.

  Resting behind Brooke and holding her while she looked at a picture of the family, Jake let her talk as she did when she had many things on her mind.

  “When I was 8, I wanted to join this club or group after school, but I needed a uniform and we didn’t have the money,” Brooke rambled. “My mom was way too busy working nights. My grandma took me shopping and then to my mom, who just stood at the doorway of this woman’s house she was working at and didn’t say anything as I showed her my new uniform. For years and years I thought she didn’t care, that it didn’t matter that uniform. But it turns out, the reason she worked so late at the woman’s house for so many nights was because she had to save up enough money to buy the uniform because we only had enough money to pay food and rent.”

  Brooke ran out of breath, but Jake let her continue before she started sobbing and he wouldn’t be able to understand a thing she said.

  “She couldn’t come out to admire my uniform because she would get fired and then we wouldn’t eat,” Brooke gritted through her teeth and Jake knew she would be inconsolable again.

  “I wanted her happiness, and she just wanted mine,” Brooke shrugged. “She always told me one day when I had a kid I’d understand, but I didn’t know it was forever. I thought once you grew up, that was it. They don’t care or worry as much anymore. It never ends, Jake. They always worry. I will always worry.”

  Rolling over, Brooke cried into the bed and was shaking and moaning loudly. Jake was glad he had sent MJ to the park with his mother. He had to put an end to the self-pity and anguish.

  Moments later, he came back with a bucket and threw its contents on Brooke.

  Screaming, but no longer crying, Brooke sat up in bed covered in ice and water.

  “What the …” she demanded with fury and surprise in her eyes. Jake put the bucket on the floor.

  “She said she didn’t want to see you like this,” Jake lectured her. “She told me to let you mourn, but after that, to get your butt up and out again. She said it wouldn’t make her happy if you just checked out again.”

  That was the message Jake pieced together that night.

  For a moment, Brooke just sat there thinking about what he said and slowly anger turned to recognition and she flung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up still in disbelief he had thrown a bucket of ice water on her.

  “How would you know?” she yelled.

  “She told me, that night in the hospital,” he yelled back and Brooke was startled.

  “She said that to you?” she asked in amazement.

  “Yes,” Jake replied confidently and calmed down.

  Brooke wiped the water from her face and shook her body of excess water. Pulling an ice cube from her hair, she was still in awe of both being doused and her mother’s recommendation.

  Walking past Jake to the end of the bed, she had formed a resolution.

  “She liked you,” she realized and looked up at Jake. Tears started forming in her eyes but they didn’t fall.

  “She couldn’t get up again, Jake,” Brooke explained with eyes resolute and bright. “She got knocked down so many times, she just couldn’t get up again. She saw that I had reached that point and she didn’t want me going down the same path. I checked out, Jake, put my life on autopilot and she knew that. But I have to get up again and again because life is just going to keep kicking me in the face. It’ll kick you even if you’re down, but if you’re up you can still enjoy life as well and also still look to the future. If this doesn’t work between us, if it’s a mistake, if our love doesn’t hold, if you end up leaving, at least I know I can get up again …”

  “If our love doesn’t hold?” Jake interrupted, startled by her admission.

  “Did I use those words?” she asked, puzzled at being interrupted.

  “Yes,” he agreed, wanting more explanation. It was like being called “daddy” for the first time or telling people she was his “wife” for the first time, it was foreign and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Wasn’t sure Brooke meant what she said considering she’d never love again.

  Brooke sighed and walked up to Jake.

  “There are all kinds of love, Jake,” Brooke explained. “Love of God. Love of family. Love for Country. There are all kinds of love. I never want to love another man the way I loved Matthew. That kind of love can’t ever be given again. It only happens once. You know that. I love my family, Jake. I’m not going anywhere. I guess I love you in that way. You’re my family, my husband, but you’re not the love of my life. I’m not yours. The only difference is that I’m here raising a family. Every day is a struggle and a joy. You, Jake, are still playing. You’re not really living life. You’re waiting for a life that’s most likely never going to happen. If that freaks you out, then give me the means to take care of my child and you can go on to whatever you think is going to make you happy. Either way, I am here to stay.”

  Finished with her lecture, Brooke headed to the bathroom unbuttoning her soaked shirt.

  Without turning her back, Brooke had one last epiphany.

  “Maybe it’s you who needs to be doused with water.”

  Jake just stood there absorbing the impact of her words.

  “Ice, Jake, really?” she muttered and sl
ammed the door.

  Stumbling to the bed, Jake sat down. Brooke’s words had hit their mark. She had doused him with a dose of reality.

  With her core reignited, Brooke would not waste her time on Jake’s decision. He had to choose between the love of his life or his wife.

  Sitting on the wet bed, Jake knew it would not be an easy decision. Brooke was able to use the word “love” again when talking about a relationship.

  Jake needed to hear that sincerely from Jenny.

  Chapter 29

  Stunned by Brooke’s admission, Jake headed back to the city.

  What was the source in her sudden change of terminology? Brooke knew he was seeing Jenny again.

  Feeling guilty for not being there in her time of need, Jake had found comfort with Jenny.

  Jake hadn’t been intimate with Jenny when they showed up at Brooke’s showing. They were just working on mending what was left of their relationship. Jake thought a date to the art gallery to see a hot new artist would be harmless.

  Taking his wife’s dignity, though, was not.

  He didn’t even know Brooke was having a showing. Didn’t know she was thinking about displaying her work. But there she was, poised and confident surrounded by paintings Jenny had described as bold and dark and inspiring.

  Eyes full of fury, Brooke would have cut him if she could. It didn’t matter that they had an understanding. Even though Brooke knew he still loved Jenny, she didn’t want to be humiliated in her presence.

  Jake didn’t mention his relationship or the fact that his wife was the artist.

  Seeing Brooke successful, Jake didn’t want to spoil her spotlight. For a moment, before she proclaimed to Jenny that she was beautiful and ran out the door, Jake was filled with pride. Then it was obliterated by guilt.

  Guilty that he should have been there with Brooke when her mother passed. The only consolation, an absolution, was that he was able to fulfill her mother’s last wishes and get Brooke out of bed and on with her life.