Kiss My Heart Goodbye (Heart's Intent, #4)
Page 13
“It’s not a party,” Lana disagreed. “It’s a—”
“Trust me, love,” Sullivan said. “It’s a damned party. You should know that by now, growing up around my parents. It’s their daughter’s wedding. They will have one excuse to go to such extreme measures. Tonight is a party, and tomorrow is a celebration.”
Sullivan stood and offered her his arm. She looped her arm through his, and he escorted her out of the apartment. It was going to be a long night, but when they returned, it would be worth it.
LANA HAD OVERREACTED to Victoria being in the apartment after her shopping spree. In her defense, it was smack dab on the heels of seeing Tony again. She’d already been uneasy, and she hadn’t wanted to deal with the one woman she couldn’t stand. Jessica had done her best to put her at ease, but that ugly feeling hadn’t completely left her before she returned to Sullivan’s apartment.
Victoria had been as mean as possible to her when she was younger and had gone out of her way to make her feel uncomfortable and worthless. Lana didn’t understand why Sullivan still associated with her. Hadn’t he learned how heartless that bitch was by now?
After she had calmed down, and Sullivan tried to explain, she realized what a jerk she’d been. In her self-absorption, she forgot about everything Sullivan had been going through. Someone had died in his office—were murdered. In the grand scheme of things, she could let go of her petty vendetta. So, Victoria Masters was an interior decorator. Somehow, that job seemed to suit her. The evil witch would try to make the world into her own image. She did have good taste though...
The problem was that even though she recognized she’d been wrong, it was too hard to pull her head out of her ass and admit it. So, instead of telling Sullivan she was sorry, she’d sat in the bedroom and sulked like a spoiled rotten child for days. She hated herself for it. Then she got an idea and made Jessica take her shopping again. She could still have a little sexy time like she’d originally planned, but a little differently. They both had to go to the rehearsal dinner and wedding. Obligations and all that... So why not use that as a time to make it up to him. So she dressed up extra sexy and made plans. Big plans.
What she hadn’t counted on was Sullivan’s reaction. She should have taken it into account, but again, her selfish needs seemed to come first. Lana wanted to be pretty and desirable. Sullivan belonged to her now, and she wanted him to not be able to take his eyes off of her. The world would know by the end of the night he was with her, and nothing would come between them. The Victoria Masterses of the world would back the hell off or she’d claw their eyes out.
Sullivan pulled the car up to the front of the Brady Mansion. The Bradys had hired a valet service for the evening, probably for the wedding too. He slid out of the car and strolled around to the passenger side to open the door for her. She grasped his hand and stepped out.
“In case I forgot to mention it,” he whispered seductively as they walked toward the entrance. “You look good enough to eat, and I might indulge myself in tasting you later.”
She might not last the entire night. If he kept saying stuff like that to her, she’d be ripping his shirt open and tearing his pants off. After his little display in the hallway outside his bedroom, she was borderline shaking with need. “If you’re ready to become addicted,” she said teasingly.
“I’m past that already,” he replied. “I need my Lisanna fix.”
“Who is this Lisanna you keep mentioning? You must introduce me to her so I can kill her once and for all.” Secretly, she was starting to like that he used her real name. As long as it was him doing it, she would allow it. To everyone else, besides her mother, she’d be Lana.
“I’m afraid I can’t allow you to do that.” He chuckled. “She’s become rather important to me. She’s sweet most of the time, but I’m partial to her bite.”
They walked into the foyer and were greeted immediately by his parents.
“Lana,” Siobhan Brady said. “It’s so good of you to come. Sullivan, darling, what took you so long? Daniella wishes to speak with you.”
“It’s entirely my fault, Mrs. Brady. I took too long making myself beautiful.” Lana smiled at her. She’d always liked Sullivan’s parents. “Where is Dani? I missed rehearsal earlier, and I need to speak with her.”
“She’s in the sitting room with some of the bridesmaids,” Malachi Brady said. “She has gifts or some nonsense for the entire wedding party.”
“I’ll take you to her,” Sullivan said. “Since she wishes to speak with me as well.” He leaned over and kissed his mother’s cheek. “We’ll be back soon.”
Sullivan led her down the hall to the sitting room. Lana could have found it herself. She had grown up on the estate, but it was a rather heady experience to walk through the house on his arm. It was the very thing she’d always wanted as a teenager. Thinking about it made her think that sometimes dreams really did come true. It was maudlin and rather romantic, but she liked the spark of happiness it brought her.
“Sullivan,” a male called out.
They stopped for them to turn toward the sound. Aaron Taylor was waving at him. His wife Sienna was by his side. Lana was rather surprised they had lasted this long. Not that relationships couldn’t, they just usually didn’t. It was kind of nice to see two people happy that had been high school sweethearts.
“We’re going to see Dani,” Sullivan said. “We’ll be back in a little bit, and then we can chat.”
“Good,” Aaron said. “It’s important, and I don’t want you to forget.”
“I won’t let him,” Lana offered. “We’ll talk soon. It isn’t good to keep the bride waiting.”
Aaron nodded and walked toward the dining room with Sienna. It was a little shocking the other woman had remained quiet. Was something bothering her? The little time she’d spent in Sienna’s company she’d always been warm and welcoming. She’d rather liked her. Maybe in another lifetime they might have even become friends—maybe they still could.
What strange thoughts she was having...
Maybe that was the biggest miracle of all. Lana Kelly was so happy, she wanted to wash the world in her joy. She couldn’t help believing it would be a night she’d never forget.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
All of her doubts melted away into a sea of longing Lana could no longer deny. Truthfully, she’d always known on some level she’d end up exactly where she was—in Sullivan’s arms. She’d never believed he’d come to love her; however, desire was a different thing entirely. Her heart beat in anticipation whenever he neared. Some days it seemed like she’d loved him forever—had ignored that feeling equally as long.
“Take me home,” she ordered Sullivan.
The dinner had gone well. They’d socialized, made nice, and made sure Dani had a wonderful evening. Their duty was done, at least until the actual wedding. The bride had left over an hour ago. An early night so she could get her beauty sleep. Somehow, she doubted Dani would do much sleeping. Ren and Dani weren’t a traditional couple. Ren hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of her the entire evening. Their love for each other made a person—no, made her—want that too.
Sullivan lifted a brow. “Tired?”
“Exhausted,” she lied.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Then let’s say goodnight to my parents. Before you know it, we’ll have you tucked into bed and sleeping the night away.”
Lana had no intention of sleeping. She’d played hard to get and teased him long enough. She’d been on the brink of tumbling over the edge for a while now. It was time to fully leap over and find the happiness she’d been denying herself.
Sullivan led her over to his parents and stopped. “We’re heading out. We’ll see you in the morning at the church.”
“Don’t be late,” his mother said, fussing with his jacket. “I might need you to keep things running smoothly.”
“Nothing is going to go wrong,” Sullivan said. “You won’t miss your daughter’s wedding.”
As far as hints went, that one hadn’t been subtle in the least. Lana was ready to trust him with her heart, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to leap toward the altar. Baby steps... She’d taken a long time to open herself to the possibility Sullivan loved her. Trusting him to keep his promise to love her forever was a different thing altogether. He didn’t have the best track record to lean on. How could she believe he’d not tire of her? That was still her biggest contention in their relationship.
“I’m making no promises,” Sullivan said. “Why don’t you enjoy Dani’s nuptials for now before you start planning mine.”
Didn’t that response say it all? Yes, he cared for her, and maybe he even thought that he loved her. She wasn’t so sure it was a permanent thing and couldn’t see a way she would start believing it either. That was something to contemplate another day. She could enjoy their time together and tackle the unknown later. Tonight was magical, and she was desperate to capture it into a lifetime memory.
“Go before she tracks down the wedding planner,” Malachi Brady said then chuckled. “It was good seeing you, Lana. We’re glad you’re doing better.”
She smiled. They were like a second set of parents to her. The Bradys had always included her as much as possible. “Thank you, Mr. Brady.”
“Do you return to work soon?” he asked.
No one had bothered to ask her that. Now that she thought about it, she had to wonder why. Did they not expect she could handle her duties any longer? She was a damn good nurse and intended to work as long as her body allowed her. “I had an appointment with Preston a couple days ago. He gave me a clean bill of health. I expect to return to work in another week. He didn’t want me to rush back.”
“That’s wonderful,” Siobhan said. “What about your house?”
So much for a clean getaway...these questions hadn’t come up earlier. Probably because the Bradys had been so focused on making things run smoothly for Dani. The questions didn’t surprise her, but she’d wanted to go back to the apartment and have her wicked way with Sullivan. Thoughts like that were rather embarrassing while talking with his parents.
“That is a different matter entirely,” Lana said then sighed. “The fire marshal believes it was arson. That’s going to delay the insurance payout.”
She’d been rather pissed after his visit. Partly because of the tone he’d used with her. As if she’d set fire to her own house while she was inside of it. Did he think she had a death wish? She loved that house and some bastard had taken that away from her. She’d never get it back, and while she could rebuild, it would never be the same. That house had been the result of hard work and she’d put a lot of herself into it.
“If you need anything...”
“I don’t,” Lana interrupted Malachi Brady. They were generous with her and always had been. “Sullivan has already been charitable enough, helping me recover some of my losses. I couldn’t take any more.”
Sullivan crinkled his brow together and stared down at her. “Right,” he said. There was an edge to his tone she couldn’t quite identify. Had she said something that ticked him off? “With that, I bid you goodnight. Lana is tired, and while Preston gave her a clean bill of health, she’s still healing. We will both see you tomorrow morning.”
They nodded and Sullivan led her outside. He handed his ticket to the valet, who went to retrieve the car. They stood in silence forever, and it started to drive her crazy. Now she understood why her ignoring him for a couple days might have bothered him.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“A whole lot,” he replied evasively.
The valet drove the car up and parked it in front of them, then hopped out and handed Sullivan the keys. Sullivan tipped him. “Thanks,” the valet said.
Sullivan opened the car door for her. She slid inside and buckled her seatbelt. Tiny sparks of excitement filled her. They would be back at the apartment soon. That was the part she’d been looking forward to all night. Sullivan got into the driver side, and before she had time to process it, they were on their way back. The drive wasn’t a long one. He parked the car in the garage and, always the gentleman, he helped her out of the car the same way he had assisted her into it.
Silence reigned supreme the entire time. It should’ve been a clue he was about to reach a boiling point on his well-honed control. When they stepped inside the apartment she expected the seduction to begin. Her disappointment gutted her when she realized that what she’d envisioned hadn’t been the same as what he had.
“Do you trust me at all?” he asked. His voice was rough, and he sounded—hurt. “Have you ever?”
“Of course I do,” she said automatically, but that wasn’t true. She had doubts, still did to a certain extend. Those doubts had nothing to do with his integrity or ability to be there for her. “You’ve always been someone I could turn to if I needed to.”
“Like a faithful dog,” he said. “Whistle and I’ll come running.”
“No,” she insisted. “Not like that. A friend—someone who I’ve known my whole life.”
“Friends,” Sullivan said slowly and then nodded. “I think I finally understand.”
That was good. She sure as hell didn’t. “Then please explain to me what I’m missing because I feel as if I entered some alternate reality. It’s been strange ever since I woke up in the hospital. I don’t think I understand what is going on with you and haven’t for a while.” She was even more confused now than she’d been a couple weeks ago. When she’d woken up, he’d kissed her lightly as if attempting to wake sleeping beauty. And didn’t that sound vain as hell...
“I thought we were heading somewhere. That you understood that I wanted this to be a real relationship.”
“Did I miss something?”
“Yes,” he said sadly. “You missed the part where I love you. That I hoped to one day ask you to marry me and have a family. You missed the part where two people who trust each other share important details of their lives. That there is more to a relationship than passion.”
What. The. Hell?
“That’s a bit rich coming from you,” she said. Now she was pissed as hell. “I didn’t jump from bed to bed for years scratching an invisible itch. How am I to believe that this...” She gestured between them. “...is something more than passion, as you put it?”
He yanked his tie loose and left it dangling around his neck, then ran his fingers through his hair. It was perfectly mussed, and Lana had an insane urge to mess it up more. “You’re right,” he grated out. “If I could change who I was I would, but I can’t. I hoped...” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what I hoped. I was wrong. I see that now.”
It gutted her to see him so self-depreciating. “So you’re ready to give up at the first sign of difficulty? Maybe it’s a good thing we didn’t do more than flirt the edge of something more.”
“What do you want from me?” he shouted. “I’ve done everything I could think of to make you see how I feel about you—that you matter. I don’t want to give up, but I’m clueless. You shut me out of your life for days. Didn’t say a fucking word. You had a doctor’s appointment, met with the fire marshal, found out you could go back to work...”
She had an epiphany. He really wanted to be a part of her life. Everything, even the most mundane of things... Maybe the answer to give him was a simple enough one. But first they had to get a few other things out of the way. Like the boiling passion that was between them. They could work through anything as long as they were both willing to fight for it. Perhaps she should remind him in the most guttural of ways what they had.
“You’re upset I called us friends, aren’t you?” She continued when he didn’t answer, “Friends share those things you mentioned above. They tell each other secrets, share the joys, the ups and downs of this thing we call life. It was a compliment,
but you didn’t take it that way.” He remained silent and broody. At least he wasn’t disagreeing with her. “The funny thing is that once I heard you refer to me as a sister, and that had gutted me.”
“I—” He blinked several times with his mouth hanging open as if uncertain how to respond. He closed his mouth and the muscles in his cheek twitched.
“No,” she said. She had to get this all out to make him understand why she’d acted the way she had. “Let me finish. I was young and foolishly infatuated with you. That was when you were dating her.” She swallowed the distaste in her mouth. “Victoria was a right bitch, wasn’t she? Every time she saw me she made me feel like trash. I wasn’t good enough to be around you or your family. I was a nobody.”
She took a deep breath to help her gain courage to go on. “So I overreacted when I saw her here. All those emotions they came flooding back as if I was seventeen again and the target of her bullying. I thought I’d gotten past it, but some things are ingrained so deep inside you don’t realize they exist until they decimate you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish you’d told me.”
“When?” she said bitterly. “Back then when you dated her? Would you have listened? Somehow, I don’t think you were dating her for her winning personality.”
She’d hated him so damn much for bringing Victoria around. That relationship had lasted far longer than she’d liked. It was one of the reasons she’d bolted as soon as she’d graduated high school. She couldn’t stomach the sight of Sullivan with Victoria. Not because she had stupidly fallen for him, but because he couldn’t see her for the rotten bitch she was.
“Yes,” he said. “I’d have...”
“Done nothing,” she said. “Oh, you’d have listened to me, but in the end, it would have all played out the way it did. At some point you would grow tired of her and move on. It’s what you do, Sully.”
“No,” he insisted. “You’ve always mattered. I may not have seen it right away, but I did notice—eventually.”