Kiss My Heart Goodbye (Heart's Intent, #4)

by Brower, Dawn

  Sullivan loved watching his baby sister as she headed toward her groom—Ren. She’d been beautiful, but of course she always was. Lana, though, had taken his breath away. For a moment, as he stood up there at the altar, he could see what it could be like if he were the groom and Lana the bride. It had seemed incredibly right. Now they were at the reception and everyone danced, laughed, and enjoyed the evening.

  “Hey, stranger,” Lana greeted him. “I feel like I’ve not seen you all day.”

  “It’s been long, tiring, and perfect except for one thing.”

  “What’s that,” she said gazing up into his eyes.

  “I haven’t kissed you in hours.”

  “Oh, you poor thing,” she said. “You should have said something sooner. I’d have happily given you a taste of these lips.” She gestured to her mouth. “If you were desperate for a fix.”

  “I am rather addicted to you,” he admitted.

  They had a lot to talk about and even more to work through. Their night of passion hadn’t solved anything. Well, it had done one thing. He’d finally had her in his arms, his bed, and in every way possible. Now he had to convince her he was a good bet and they did have a chance at being happy.

  “It’s a good thing I like being your drug of choice.” Lana chuckled. “How long do you think we have to stay at this thing?”

  “The reception?” he asked. “Until Dani and Ren leave.”

  “I was afraid you’d say that,” she said.

  He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Come dance with me. It’s the only acceptable way I can hold you without my mother reigning terror over me for acting indecent at my sister’s wedding.”

  Lana licked her lips. “You have my permission to be filthy and lewd—with words.”

  Sullivan chuckled and led her to the dance floor. A slow song by some country singer he couldn’t recall blared through the ballroom’s speakers. The lyrics were somehow appropriate to how he felt as he held her in his arms. All he’d ever wanted was her, and he wanted to make her understand that. Everything that didn’t make sense in his life was made right when he was with her. It defied logic, but somehow it was never clearer to him than in that moment.

  “Would it be cheesy if I told you I want to hold your hand forever and have the right to kiss you each night, and every morning, for the rest of our lives?”

  “No, it wouldn’t,” she said softly. “I could promise you forever, but it wouldn’t be long enough.”

  God, he loved her. “Don’t make me find out who I am without you in my life. I fear I’d fall apart and never be right again.”

  If he’d had any idea how hard he’d fall for this woman, he’d have claimed her ages ago. There was no use fighting the inevitable. Looking back, with what he knew now, he could see they had been on the same path heading toward each other for a long time. His heart had raced for her and latched on without him realizing it. Love didn’t happen every day, and he wasn’t about to push it out the door now that he’d found it.

  The music ended, but they continued to sway to it. Sullivan was reluctant to let her go. Lana leaned her head against his shoulder and contentment filled him. In some ways, he hoped the moment would never end. It was something he wanted to always remember. One perfect instance in time when they were in perfect harmony, and the impossible seemed achievable.

  “I should go help Dani out of her dress,” Lana said against his chest.

  “Isn’t that the privilege of her husband,” he said.

  Lana laughed. “On any other night it would be, but she wanted to change before she left.”

  “What a waste,” he said. “Promise me when we get married you’ll leave that honor to me.”

  “I...you...wedding...um...” Lana stumbled over the words. Her eyes widened as the shock of his statement hung over them.

  Fuck. Had he said that aloud? He had to act fast before she panicked. He was still in his own little fantasy world from watching her walk down the aisle before his sister earlier. That vision wouldn’t leave his mind for anything.

  “Don’t answer that yet,” he said fervently. “Go help my sister we’ll talk later.”

  She nodded her head and walked in Daniella’s direction. Dani hugged Lana, and then they motioned toward Claire. Sullivan stared at them until the three women disappeared into the house and he could no longer see them. He prayed to God he hadn’t scared her away with his big mouth. She wasn’t even ready to admit they were in a relationship, and he went and put his foot in his mouth talking about their wedding as if it was inevitable. He fully believed it was, but that didn’t mean she was on the same page as him yet.

  She would be.

  Sullivan had to remain patient and wait for her to find her own way to the same conclusion he’d already come to. He belonged with her and no one else.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Dani laughed as she walked into the bedroom she’d been using for her wedding preparations with Claire and Lana close behind her. The sheer joy on her face was breathtaking. Lana wanted that. To feel so much happiness that she practically glowed from it. She could have it too if she could let go completely and allow herself to fully be with Sullivan.

  She was already half in; all she had to do was take the final step and accept they belonged together. They could have a magical wedding day, and she could almost feel his touch as he removed her wedding dress. If she closed her eyes and allowed herself to be swept along in that fantasy... Forever with Sullivan really wouldn’t be long enough.

  “What has you smiling so dreamily?” Dani asked.

  “I never realized how wonderful weddings were before today,” she said honestly. “Watching you and Ren—it was beautiful.”

  Claire chuckled. “Most weddings have that feel to them, but Ren and Dani’s was extra special because we love them too.”

  “Besides,” Dani said. “I don’t think my wedding is the reason you’re smiling. I saw you and Sullivan dancing. Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

  Had she? She supposed she hadn’t thought of anything else. She loved him, yes. But did she need everything being with him would bring? That would be akin to asking if she needed air to breathe or if a fish could survive out of water. She would go on loving him forever. There really was no decision to make. It had been rather idiotic for her to fight her feelings for as long as she had.

  “I’m not sure what my future holds,” she admitted. “But I think it’s a good chance Sullivan will be with me as I figure it out.”

  That was as close as she’d come to admitting she intended to keep him in her life. Besides, it was the truth, after all. No one could predict what would happen to them. She’d almost died twice now. She might not have much more luck left in that regard. Lana didn’t want to be full of regrets—it wasn’t any kind of life to live.

  “Good,” Dani said. “I’ve grown rather fond of that charming bastard. I’d like to see him happy. You make him smile too. I see how happy he is with you. It’s about time he stopped being so broody.”

  Claire chuckled. “You didn’t even know who he was a few months ago. I had to tell you who the Brady family were.”

  “That’s true,” Dani agreed. “You even mentioned something about how hot he was when you showed me his picture if I recall.”

  Lana lifted a brow. “Oh, really?” She smirked and then said. “Does Matt know you were lusting after another man?”

  If Lana hadn’t known Claire loved Matt completely, she might have clawed the other woman’s eyes out at Dani’s statement. She didn’t like the idea of Sullivan with any other woman. If it were possible to erase his numerous conquests, she’d do it. Unfortunately, they both had things in their pasts they’d like to forget. Sullivan had a few more women in his than was normally prudent.

  “Hey, it’s not as if I’ve ever graced Sullivan’s bed,” Claire said defensively. “And in my defense, at that time, I was as single as a person could be. I had every right to lust after a sexy bachelor.” Sh
e untied the bow on Dani’s dress and slid the zipper down. “You two can’t tell me you never looked at a sexy man before and thought of all the wicked things you could do to them?”

  “We’re talking about my brother,” Dani reminded her.

  “Yes,” Claire said. “But you didn’t know that at the time.”

  Dani shuddered. “Please. I never looked at Sully as a man I’d like to bang. He didn’t interest me in the least.” She gagged. “Bleck...”

  “This is fascinating,” Lana said. “I’ll have to let Sullivan know you think he’s the ugliest man in existence. It will be good for his ego.”

  These were some good times, and she’d miss it if she never had another moment like this. It was kind of funny how happiness found her when she stopped looking for it. She had friends, a man who adored her, and soon she’d return to the career she’d carved out for herself. There wasn’t much more she could possibly want. Except that happy home with the family to return to each day.

  Sometimes life wasn’t fair, and every now and then bad turned to good. Suffering through mistakes happened to be part of life. No one escaped life without having some kind of regret, and Lana was no exception. No doubt she’d even make several more along the way. But if she had Sullivan by her side she could live without any guarantees.

  Dani slipped out of her gown and then put on her travel clothes. Lana picked up the wedding dress and hung it in the closet. It really was a gorgeous gown. Maybe one day she’d have a dress as perfect as this one for herself. Lana turned toward Dani and asked, “Where are you and Ren going for your honeymoon?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “He wanted to surprise me. I’m terrified.”

  Claire smiled. “No, dear, that’s excitement.”

  “Shut up,” Dani said. “Or I’ll fire you.”

  Lana doubted Dani would actually go through with that particular threat. Claire was integral to the law firm Dani and Matt owned. Besides, Matt would be mad at her if she did. Dani hadn’t done much work at the firm after she was shot. She’d taken on other endeavors and did the occasional pro bono work.

  “Promise,” Claire said. “Matt is a slave driver. Always wants private meetings in his office. I can’t get a thing done.”

  Lana choked. “You did not just admit to having sex in Matt’s office on a regular basis at work.”

  She had to have interpreted that statement wrong. On second thought, now she could see it. Matt and Claire were rather handsy with each other. They didn’t care who saw how much they loved each other.

  “Gross,” Dani said as she scrunched up her nose. “Remind me to request meetings in my office. I haven’t used mine as my personal sex cave.”

  “If you worked with Ren, you’d do the same,” Claire said. “Not to mention, I admitted to nothing. You two took that all the wrong way. I pride myself in my work.”

  Dani and Lana snorted at the same time.

  “Sweetie, sex isn’t in your job description no matter what Matt tells you.” Dani grinned wickedly. “If you want, I can talk to him—after the honeymoon, of course. Remind him that your skills as a paralegal are more important than the needs of his libido.”

  Lana couldn’t wait to see Sullivan and see to the needs of her own libido. Their dance had stirred up some longing she wasn’t able to shake. Then he’d rocked her to the very center of her core by mentioning a possible wedding. It may have been a slip of the tongue, but that made it even more believable. Sullivan wouldn’t have said anything about marriage if he hadn’t been thinking about it. That, more than anything, had told her how serious he was.

  “As lovely as this conversation has been...”

  “Lovely?” Claire interrupted her. “Raunchy is more accurate.” Then she turned toward Dani. “Do not talk to Matt about this. How embarrassing.”

  Lana cleared her throat. “As I was saying... Ren is waiting, and you have a plane to catch or something.”

  Dani hugged Lana and then went to Claire. “What we talk about stays between us. You do know I’m kidding, right?”

  “Of course,” Claire answered. “It’s part of the fun. The teasing...”

  “Exactly,” Dani said. “We’re friends first and always. Matt is dear to me, and you make him happy. That’s all I want for both of you.” She leaned in and hugged her too. “But please spare me the details on your sex life. There is such a thing as too much information.”

  “Ditto,” Claire agreed and then laughed. “Go find your husband.”

  With those words, Dani grabbed her purse and strolled out of the room, leaving Lana and Claire alone. What a nice way to end the night. Now to grab her belongings and find Sullivan so they too could leave. She glanced around the room and couldn’t find her bag. “Have you seen my duffel?” She didn’t really care about the garment bag she’d used for her dress, but she liked the clothes she’d worn over, and she didn’t exactly have a lot of outfits at the moment. Her duffel bag held everything she’d brought over except her bridesmaid dress and stilettos—which she was currently wearing.

  “It was here earlier. Did someone perhaps move it to another room?”

  Lana sighed. “Mama might have. I’ll go find her. I want to say goodnight to her before I leave anyway.”

  “Go,” Claire said. “I’ll finish cleaning up here.”

  Lana hugged her. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  Claire smirked. “You’re in a hurry so you can go home and strip out of that dress for Sullivan. Don’t think I’m unaware of what that look on your face means.”

  Since she’d started this thing with Sullivan she’d become transparent. She hated it and loved it at the same time. She wanted the world to know she was in love, and that the man who held her heart was Sullivan Brady. When he was around, time stood still and all she could see was him. Now she realized what she had no one would take it away from her.

  “I admit nothing,” Lana called out as she walked from of the room.

  She went down to the kitchen, hoping her mother would be there. She’d want to supervise the catering staff. Her mama had been the housekeeper for more years than Lana could recall and hated it when she had to give control over to anyone. It had to irritate her watching the caterers trample through her kitchen.

  The kitchen was eerily quiet. The reception had started to die down. They must’ve cleaned up and packed all the food away already. That was rather efficient. If she ever had a reason to throw a party, she’d have to find out who they were.

  “Mama?” Lana called out.

  Where was she? She could be in her bedroom, but that wasn’t like her. She always stayed up until everyone left. Her mother was rather old fashioned in that regard. She believed she should stay awake and on duty until she was certain the Bradys no longer required anything from her. Lana hated that when she was growing up. In her mind, the Bradys had taken advantage of her mother’s kind heart.

  Maybe she was gathering some things to clean another part of the house. It didn’t matter that the Bradys hired extra staff for the wedding. Her mother didn’t take any of her responsibilities lightly. Lana headed to the supply closet. It was dark, so she flicked the light on. The room filled with light and the shelves came into view. They were fully stocked with sprays, sponges, towels, and just about anything you would need to clean or polish a house.

  Lana was about to leave when something caught her attention. In the far corner, she noticed a shoe—a sturdy work shoe like her mother would wear. She walked farther into the room toward it and gasped. Her mother was unconscious on the floor.

  Lana gasped. “Mama!”

  The door to the supply closet clicked shut and the sound of the lock snapped into place. Lana trembled as she checked her mother. She still had a pulse, thank God. She unwound her silk scarf and made a pillow of it under her mother’s head. Now to figure out if she could get them out of the damn closet... She stood and went to the door and turned the knob, but it wouldn’t budge. Damn the stupid thing for not having a lock that could
n’t be unfastened from the inside.

  Panic seized her. Someone had to come and let them out. She feared her mother was injured more than she could tell. She banged on the door. “Help!”

  Please, please let someone come for them. If she had her phone, she could call for help. Stupid bridesmaid dresses didn’t have pockets to carry essentials in, and now she was stuck in a supply closet with her mother’s life on the line with no way to call for help. As far as bad omens went, this one was pretty high on the list. She’d been on a happy high, and this was fate’s way of kicking her down a peg. Why her? Didn’t she deserve happiness too? A tear fell down her face, and she prayed for the first time in her life.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  The door swung open and Lana fell forward, hitting the floor hard. “Ouch,” she mumbled. “Was that really necessary? You could’ve let me know you were about to let me out.” She rubbed her elbow and glanced up, sucking in a breath as shock rolled over her.

  “Tony?” He kept popping into her life like an unexpected tornado about to destroy everything in its path. There was no time to prepare or protect herself for the incoming onslaught of terror. Dread fell to the bottom of her stomach like a dead weight. Him being at the Brady mansion was no accident, and nothing good would come from it. “Thanks for opening the door. I need to call someone to help my mother. She’s not doing so well.”

  Lana had no way to gauge the time to determine how long she’d been in there, but if she had to guess it had been at least thirty minutes. Her mother needed immediate help.

  “I can’t let you do that,” he told her. “It would ruin the plan. Sorry you had to be locked in there, but you weren’t supposed to come down here. Adjustments had to be made.”

  Fuck. Why couldn’t she have been wrong? Was it too much to ask for him to be there to help her? Noooo—of course not. She apparently had a psycho ex-boyfriend hell-bent on stomping on her happiness. Lana sighed and tried to reason with him. “My mom needs medical attention. You wouldn’t let her die, would you?”