Memoirs of a Wild Child

by P Lewis, Cassandra

  I stepped out of it, and my shoes, and turned my attention back to the man behind me, who was now looking me up and down as I stood in my black lace underwear in front of him.

  “Take your clothes off,” I whispered as I leant close into his ear, and he complied. I looked into the mirror to the side of us to see Sven undo his fly and let his shorts drop to the floor. I smiled, and stepped away from the two men, crawling onto the double bed and patting the mattress, beckoning them to join me.

  Kneeling up, I held out my hands for Sebastian; he seemed a little more nervous than his sexy friend. In just his boxers, Sebastian moved towards me and reached out to take my hands.

  He was shorter than Sven, but still in good shape; a lot more tanned and he had a tattoo of some writing on his side and stomach, just above his waistband.

  He knelt on the bed, and I encouraged him closer to me; he leant in to kiss me again, and I felt the bed dip as Sven joined us.

  Sebastian was a hell of a kisser; his lips were soft and full, and as his tongue rolled across mine, the heat in my belly grew. I reached my hand inside Sebastian’s boxers, taking his hard cock in my hand and feeling it twitch at my touch.

  I started to stroke as we kissed, and felt Sven’s hands, and then soft lips, on my hips and arse. The bed dipped again, and Sven moved to kneel behind me, pressing his dick into my backside as he unclasped my bra. Then I felt his fingers between my legs, moving slowly and gently over the lace.

  I moaned at the contact and pushed my hips back a little to encourage him to continue. I felt him sit back on his heels, and then his fingers hooked into the waistband of my French knickers. He pulled them down over my arse, leaning in to plant kisses, and licks, on the skin there as my underwear came down to my bent knees.

  I let go of Sebastian’s cock and tugged at the elastic waistband of his boxers; eagerly pulling them down and Sven slid one and then two fingers slowly inside me.

  I gasped into Sebastian’s mouth and gripped him again. He reached up and pulled my bra straps off my shoulders, letting the black lace fall, landing on top of his cock, where both of my hands were working him, making him twitch and breath heavy against my mouth.

  Sven gently stroked two fingers over my clit, making me gasp, as Sebastian broke our kiss to look down between us.

  “Your bra is on my dick,” he said, smiling a little as he thrust his hips forward. “That’s hot.”

  Sven circled my clit now, and I exhaled sharply, causing Sebastian to look behind me at his friend. He grinned, “Lie down,” he instructed, softly, and I did.

  Sven moved out of the way as I lay down in between them. My bra was tossed to the side by Sebastian and Sven pulled my knickers the rest of the way off, dropping them to the floor next to the bed.

  Sebastian leaned down and kissed my cleavage, before taking my nipple into his mouth and circling with his tongue. I moaned as he used his fingers to give attention to the other nipple and Sven’s hands gently pushed my thighs apart.

  Sebastian sucked one nipple while he massaged and squeezed my other boob, and Sven pushed two fingers inside me again. I rocked my hips at the intrusion, as he started to move his fingers in and out of me.

  Sebastian moved up to kiss me again, still rolling my nipple between his thumb and middle finger, and then I felt Sven’s tongue run along the length of my slit. I sighed into Sebastian’s mouth, as Sven found my clit and sucked gently, still working his fingers in and out of me.

  I pushed Sebastian back and lifted up onto my elbows to look down at Sven, he looked into my eyes and grinned as he flicked his tongue fast across my clit. My head dropped back as I gasped and rocked towards his mouth.

  I looked across to Sebastian and reached out for his cock; he was too far away but shuffled up the bed at my command. “More.” I moaned, speaking to both of them, encouraging Sven to keep going and Sebastian closer.

  Eventually, Sebastian knelt next to my head; I turned my head to the side, gripping the base of his cock and then licked the tip. I circled the head of his cock with my tongue as I closed my lips around it. I sucked a little and used my hand on his hip to encourage him to push into my mouth. I heard Sebastian gasp as I sucked and drew back on his cock, before driving back down his length again, taking him as much as I could at this angle.

  Sven pushed another finger inside me, and I moaned around Sebastian’s cock. Then with his tongue flat and wide, Sven started to massage my clit. With his other hand, he pulled back the skin on my pubic bone, lifting the hood on my clit and fully exposing the sensitive bud to his eager tongue.

  I couldn’t concentrate on sucking Sebastian anymore as pleasure ripped through me, I released him from my mouth to watch Sven make me come and gripped him with my hand.

  Sebastian took my nipple between his fingers with one hand, and with the other, released my grip on his cock and started to stroke himself. He was still close to my head, and the sight was so erotic.

  Sven fucked me harder with his fingers while he licked and sucked my clit, and I was close; rapidly approaching my climax. “Don’t come,” I whispered to Sebastian in between my gasps of pleasure, as my hand moved to grip his thigh. He understood, and slowed his eager hand.

  “That’s it,” I moaned, as I started to breathe heavily, rocking my hips towards Sven as my orgasm started to take over, “Oh god, don’t stop.”

  I threw my head back and dug my fingers into Sebastian’s thigh as I came hard, moaning loudly, as my body shook. Sven brought me back to earth, working me slowly and making sure I enjoyed every second of my orgasm. I sighed as the pleasure subsided and then met the eyes of a satisfied Sven, smiling as he wiped his lips and sat back on his heels.

  I sat up. “Get a condom,” I said to Sebastian, before crawling forward and kissing Sven, it was a hungry, grateful kiss; I was still tingling with pleasure and wanted more.

  The kiss was frantic as my lips crashed against his, his fingers tangled in my hair and our tongues rolled against each other. I felt Sebastian move off, and then onto the bed. Sven broke our kiss to stand and remove his boxers, the damp patch of pre-cum on the front of them made me smile and bite my lip.

  I crawled forward to stop Sven from sitting back down; I looked up at him through my eyelashes, and he stepped forward, bringing his hard, proud dick close to me. I reached up and gripped him, before taking him into my mouth. There was no teasing, no gentle licks or circling, I was horny, and just wanted to suck his dick.

  I felt Sebastian grip my hips and dip two fingers inside me. I was still wet and as he pushed them deeper, they moved with ease. He removed his fingers and rubbed the tip of his cock through my wetness to my clit and back again. I broke away from Sven with a loud pop to look behind me and saw the ripped condom wrapper on the bed. Satisfied, I took Sven back into my mouth and pushed my arse back, encouraging Sebastian’s dick inside me.

  I gasped as he filled me, a little surprised at how big he felt inside me; he drew back, allowing me to catch my breath, and then slammed into me.

  Sven’s fingers threaded into my hair, reminding me what I was doing, and as Sebastian found his rhythm, I found mine.

  I rocked back and forth as Sebastian thrust into me, fucking me deeply, as I sucked Sven, making him moan and thrust into my mouth. His grip tightened in my hair, and I knew he was close. I spread my thighs wider, allowing Sebastian in deeper and giving him access to my throbbing clit. He took the hint, reaching under and started to circle; making me clench around him as waves of pleasure washed over me.

  Sven tapped lightly on the back of my head, and I released him from my mouth, rearing up and watching as he pumped his own hand up and down his dick furiously. He lifted one foot onto the bed to the angled the tip of his dick towards my chest, sighing loudly, as the hot liquid hit my bouncing tits, and he shook through the waves of his orgasm.

  After Sven came hard, Sebastian picked up his pace, fucking me hard and fast and making me call out loudly with each thrust. Sven took my hard nipples between his finge
rs and started to pull and roll them while Sebastian rubbed my clit hard.

  I fisted the blankets and let out a squeal as my body gave in to the pleasure that was coming. I clenched around Sebastian’s dick as I came, hard, hearing him gasp and sigh with his own climax. And then we stilled; Sven released my come covered tits from his hands and leant down to kiss me on the lips as Sebastian withdrew from me. I heard the sound of the condom as Sebastian pulled it off and I swear I heard the national anthem playing. If someone could have given me a special commendation for conquering Sweden, at that moment, they would have.

  Rosie rolled her eyes when I told her what had happened, not surprised but a little concerned as I flopped down onto my bed, exhausted. But I didn’t care, my world map was filling up, and I felt fantastic.

  ***

  “What’s that Mummy?” Holly is ‘helping’ me to find some inspiration for Cooper’s first birthday cake. Ben has taken the boy swimming and for once, the little ratbag wanted to stay with me.

  We’re currently trawling Pinterest for ideas, but she is questioning everything that we see.

  “That’s a…” I tilt my head to the side and start to laugh, “actually, baby, I’m not sure what that is.” Holly joins me laughing, and I decide to put the laptop down for a while, “Shall we go out, Hollypops?” I ask.

  “Yes!” she replies excitedly jumping up onto her knees on the sofa, “Can we go to the park?” She asks, wiggling from side to side trying to contain her glee.

  “We can, poppet, go and get some socks and your shoes and we’ll go to the park.”

  Holly and I make the short journey to the park not far from our house. The whole way there, she skips and sings, says hello to every man, woman, child or animal that passes, even stopping to wave at the people on a double-decker bus. The girl is brilliant; she makes me so proud every day. She’s kind and loving, funny, clever and totally comfortable in her skin. I love that about her.

  I push her on the swings for a while, driven on by her squeals and laughter. Then I sit for a while to watch her run around and play with the couple of other children in the park.

  “Mummy, look, watch me,” Holly calls out before plummeting down the wobbly slide on her belly. Some of the other mothers look at me as if to tell me that I should tell her not to do that, to be careful, to do it properly, but I’m watching her. She’s just being a kid, and I’d never let any harm come to her.

  I hate that about being a mother; it’s the only thing about it that I do hate… other mothers!

  Not all of them, but some, the ones who think they have a right to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, that their baby was talking at two months and writing sonnets at three, those ones. When did motherhood become a competition? Shouldn’t we all be in this together? I’m sure when we lived in caves that all the mums would have just mucked in and supported each other, instead of claiming that their tiny Neanderthal killed its first mammoth before someone else’s had learned to paint on the walls.

  If this is evolution, and we’ve just turned into nasty competitive bitches, something is seriously wrong.

  I pick up my phone while I watch Holly building a sandcastle in the sand pit; I scroll to Rosie’s number, and press call.

  “Hey,” she answers cheerfully.

  “Hi,” I reply.

  “What you up to? Bobby, leave your sister’s doll alone,” she calls, “for the love of god, that child.” I laugh. Bobby is such a great kid, but he’s a proper little boy, just like his dad. He tortures his sister, Beth, whenever he gets the chance, just for fun. “Don’t you laugh; you have a boy now too, remember.”

  “Yeah, but he’s my little angel, it’s his sister I need to worry about.” Rosie laughs in agreement. As an ambulance with its sirens on drives past the park,

  “Where are you?”

  “I brought Hols to the park; we were going stir crazy, and the boys are swimming. Will we see you this weekend then?” I ask, we’re heading home to Buxton, but Rosie and Jackson are often away at the weekends these days.

  “You will, we’re home, and can’t wait to see you all.”

  “Me either, Holly, don’t eat that,” I call out, “This kid, honestly.” I sigh. “I’ve got to go, Ro, see you in a few days though.”

  “Okay, love your face, Pip,”

  “Love yours.”

  I hang up and rush over to take the stick from my child’s mouth. “I was being a dog.” She protests, and I shake my head, time to go home.

  When we get home, Holly decides she wants to have a bubble bath. I’m not opposed after watching her rolling around in the sandpit, so run her one in the en-suite bathroom of mine and Ben’s bedroom and sit on the bed, listening to her play, but giving her some independence to bathe herself.

  I think about her in the park, so free and happy, and then coming home to a safe, loving home like this and my mind drifts back to Thailand. We visited a nursery there, played with the children, and I took some incredible photos that day. I smile as I remember the smiling little faces looking up at us.

  “You okay, Hols?” I call out,

  “Yep, leave me alone, please.” Is the response and I shake my head, stubborn little madam.

  I reach into my bedside drawer, move my vibrator, handcuffs, some lube and my contraceptive pill out of the way, and find Vinnie.

  I haven’t written in Vinnie for a couple of weeks. I’ve been back to work for the first time since having Cooper; Holly has been at school, Ben’s been really busy and the boy has been with a child-minder during the days, so our downtime, is family time.

  It’s been hard, but Holly has broken up from school for the summer now, and I have no work for a couple of weeks, so we’re enjoying our babies, and each other, in every spare minute.

  Hols is happily playing, ten feet away from me, I can hear her and know that she’s safe, the boys are still out, so I open Vinnie to a fresh page, “Hello old friend.’ I sigh, running my fingertips across the paper, “Let’s get back to work shall we.

  I pick up my pen and get to it.

  The next morning, I woke to Rosie telling me to get my arse out of bed; Jackson had arrived to pick us up and take us somewhere.

  “Piss off.” I moaned, pulling the pillow over my head.

  “No, come on. He said it’ll be worth it, and Pip, he looks so hot.” Rosie sat on the end of my bed, and I lifted the pillow, opening one eye to look at her. “Please,” She begged. Fuck! When Rosie begs, I have no chance.

  I dragged my arse out of bed, luckily, I had showered in the Swedes’ hotel room before I left them, not wanting to travel back here freshly fucked and covered in jizz.

  Looking positively giddy as I turned around and looked at her after stepping into my flip flops, Rosie handed me my camera. “He said you would need this.” She grinned, clearly smitten, and if I didn’t love the girl so much, I’d have head butted her right in her chirpy face; I was knackered.

  As much as I hated to admit it, I was glad Jackson had insisted on Rosie waking me up. We pulled into the driveway of the building not knowing what it was, but once inside, my ovaries exploded.

  He had taken us to a nursery. It was charity funded and allowed those families who were poor and unable to pay for childcare, to send their children somewhere safe. Where they could play and eat well, while their parents worked their arses off to provide them with a home.

  There were also children who lived there; it doubled as an orphanage for those whose families couldn’t afford to take care of them.

  It was heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time. Jackson was right about my camera; I’d have been devastated if I had not been able to capture the gorgeous, happy little faces that we saw that day.

  As I looked at the tiny babies asleep in the nursery room, my heart ached. I had never considered that I would want one myself one day, but looking at them there, so helpless and without a mother to take care of them; I wanted to take them home. I wanted to be a mother.

  It was an od
d moment of realisation for me; but one that sunk to the pit of my stomach, heavy and more real than anything I had ever felt. Tears pricked my eyes as I considered the prospect of becoming a mother, and then the fact that despite me realising I wanted it, it would probably never happen. This was me; I was a total slut. No man was ever going to want to have a child with me, and I wasn’t just going to go out and get knocked up and do it alone, my dad would be totally devastated. If I was going to have a baby, I wanted to be married to the father.

  And there it was, the moment I realised that my decision, to never fall in love, my determination to never marry, was gone, right along with my lack of desire to be a mother. I had changed, without realising it, I had started to want those things; but I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was too far gone to ever achieve them. What self-respecting man would want a skank as a wife? Without realising it, I had trampled on my future happiness with my determination to live wild and free. What had I done?

  “Mummy, I’m going wrinkly,” Holly calls out, pulling me from the memory and I have to take a moment. I am so grateful for her, so grateful that Ben wanted all of this with me. It happened sooner than either of us expected, but he stuck by me, and loved me unconditionally, despite my past. “Mummy,” she calls out again, and I shake it off.

  I get Holly out of the bath just as the boys arrived home; Ben had taken Cooper for cake at Rafael’s, Rafe’s café in Shoreditch, on the way home. “Don’t tell your daughter that,” I warned him when he confessed to me in the kitchen, and he nodded. If Holly found out Daddy had been for cake without her, there would be hell to pay.

  “What have you girls been doing then?” Ben asked Holly as he sat down next to her and Cooper, playing on the living room floor.

  “Well, first we looked at funny cakes on Mummy’s laptop, and then we went to the park, and then I had a bubbly bath.” Holly reels off her afternoon’s activities, and Ben looks genuinely enthralled. I place down a plate of sandwiches and a drink for Holly and pick up my Cooper.