Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One

by Sara Hess

  I swallowed down the bile that was trying to work its way up my throat at this whole discussion. I practiced my breathing exercises trying to dispel it.

  If reporter’s ended up getting a hold of my story again would it really be that bad for everyone? It made me sick thinking about my cousin, Samantha, having that kind of gossip being spread about her. She was a year younger than me. We hadn’t hung around each all that often, maybe four times a year, but when we had we’d gotten along well. I rubbed at my forehead unable to think clearly as my stomach continued to rebel.

  “Laura, my husband did not do anything wrong.” My mom screeched sending my headache skyrocketing.

  Aunt Laura rolled her eyes. “Mary, wakeup. He was found naked in her bed and she was covered in scratches and bruises. Your husband attacked your daughter.”

  “Carrie!”

  My head was starting to swim along with the contents of my stomach.

  “What in hell, you’re as white as a sheet.”

  I looked up to see Nic staring down at me anxiously. He pulled me into his arms and rounded on my aunt and my mother. “Who the hell are you?”

  I stood there limply in Nic’s embrace taking note that my aunt looked a little discomfited at Nic’s appearance. “I’m Carrie’s Aunt Laura. Her mother and I were just talking to Carrie.”

  Nic rounded on my mother. “I know you don’t give a shit about her so why are you here?” He then looked at my aunt. “And you haven’t shown an interest in her for years. What the fuck have you been saying to her?”

  I loved it when Nic held me but his twisting and yelling were only making my head and stomach worse. This day had started out so great; waking up with Nic, showering with him, spending the morning with him. How had it gone so downhill?

  My aunt held up her hands looking uneasy. “We didn’t mean to upset her, we’ll just go.”

  “Mom! What’s going on here?” Nic half turned and I watched a guy push his way through a crowd of people that stood behind us.

  Oh god, a crowd. It seemed like half the players stood there watching, as well as all of Nic’s roommates. I saw Seth staring at me anxiously.

  “I came to see you play but now I have to go.” Aunt Laura said, sounding a little fretful.

  Wait…mom! Aunt Laura’s son, my cousin Blake, was on the lacrosse team. My cousin went to UVA. Wow, talk about a small world.

  “We are not going anywhere just yet until these people and you know that my husband did not attack my daughter.” My mom’s shriek reverberated through the hallway.

  No, no, no, no.

  “Mary! Now is not the time.” Aunt Laura gritted out desperately.

  “Mary? Is this my Aunt Mary?” My cousin, Blake, the lacrosse player, asked. He looked back and forth between my mother and his wearing a confused expression. I felt for him. Dispassionately, I noticed that my cousin was a good-looking guy with shaggy dark hair and gray eyes.

  “Yes, I’m your aunt. Your mother cut me out of her life four years ago because of my daughter; my daughter the whore.” My mother spit out viciously.

  Stiffening, I heard gasps around me and Nic’s arms tightened. “Carrie is not a whore you bitch. You’re just a bitter woman who abandoned her daughter because you couldn’t accept the truth, and your sister here is just as bad.”

  My chest was constricting further making it harder to breath as the conversation went on around me.

  “What the hell is going on here, and why are you yelling at my mother?” My cousin asked angrily. He looked at everyone and his gaze narrowed on me. “Wait…are you my cousin Carrie?”

  My chest was too tight to speak.

  “Yes, this is your cousin, Blake. But now is not the time to go into all this. We have a crowd of people overhearing our private family business.” Aunt Laura said in a raised voice as though trying to chastise the crowd of onlookers.

  “This is what you were afraid of, right Laura? Everyone finding out that your niece is a murderer. That she killed her own father.” My mother shouted loudly. She looked slightly crazed as she looked around at the crowd.

  God, this couldn’t be happening. I could feel myself starting to wheeze.

  “This girl lured my husband into her bed at the age of fourteen and then killed him.”

  My mother’s words rang in the hall and in my head. My throat closed up entirely. No, I couldn’t do this here, not in front of everyone. I pushed away from Nic in a panic and tried to get past everyone in the crowd, my only thought to escape.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  NIC

  I pulled my furious gaze from Carrie’s crazy mother as I felt Carrie struggling in my arms. I let go reflexively not wanting her to feel trapped. She pushed past me and I went to follow, but Seth suddenly moved in her path and grabbed her shoulders. His face was alarmed and I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

  “She’s not breathing again.”

  I saw Carrie’s hands come up and grip convulsively at Seth’s shirt. Rushing around him I saw her mouth open desperately trying to breathe in air. Her eyes exhibited terror causing my heart to explode in panic. My head knew she would pass out and start breathing like before, but to see her not breathing and terrified about it killed me.

  I grabbed her out of Seth’s arms and looked her in the eyes. “Carrie, you’re going to be fine, I’m right here. I’ve got you, okay, you’re going to be fine.” I continued to reassure her trying to alleviate her fear; although, I don’t know that anything could ease the feeling of not being able to breathe. Even though she’d experienced this before each time had to feel like dying.

  Carrie’s hands latched onto my arms and gripped so tightly that I fleetingly thought it was sure to draw blood. I could hear people getting alarmed around me at what they were seeing, but I was entirely focused on Carrie. My eyes stayed locked with hers letting her know that I was here for her. The fear in her eyes was stark, and behind that I could see a deep well of grief before they closed and she slumped in my arms unconscious. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally gave into my own fear and grief.

  “Oh damn, baby.” I scooped her up in my arms as she hung there limply. I watched her chest and mouth closely to make sure she was indeed breathing, and thankfully she was.

  “Oh, my god. Is she going to be alright?” Amanda rushed over with tears running down her cheeks.

  “Amanda, I told you, she’ll be fine.” Seth said gruffly. “She just had a panic attack.”

  “I need to get her out of here, away from all these people. She was trying to get away when it happened.” I stared down in anguish at her now tranquil face.

  “I’ll go get my truck and bring it around.” Seth declared running off.

  “I never meant…I didn’t know she was prone to panic attacks.” Carrie’s aunt said stepping closer. She was lucky Carrie was in my arms because I never felt more like hitting a woman; her and her sister, Carrie’s mother…who didn’t even bother to come over to check on her daughter.

  I looked up and she smartly backed away. “Of course you don’t, you’ve ignored her for four years. I don’t know why you came here today lady, but I have a feeling it wasn’t to get reacquainted with your niece. I’m going to tell you this once; don’t ever come near her again or it won’t matter that you’re a woman.”

  She looked affronted and fearful at the same time as she backed away. Blake, my teammate, and now it seemed Carrie’s cousin walked up looking shell-shocked. “Is she really going to be alright?” He asked.

  I gave him a glare, not at all happy with any of her family. “Do you really care? Her mother has treated her like shit for four years and everyone else in her family has ignored her. I find it difficult to believe that you finally care how she’s doing.”

  Sorrow crossed his face. “I do care. Please tell me, is she really going to be alright?”

  “Yeah,” I grunted grudgingly. I’d known Blake for a year and a half and I’d always considered him an upstanding guy, but what they had
all done to Carrie had me biased against the entire family now. “She used to have them frequently that first year, and just recently she had another; she wakes up tired and confused but fine…physically.” How she would feel mentally is what had me worried?

  Blake frowned. “I didn’t know she’d been released from the hospital. The last time I saw Carrie was four and a half years ago at a family gathering. Next thing I know my mother’s telling me that Uncle John attacked her. She said Carrie defended herself but ended up killing Uncle John in the process and because of this Carrie had a breakdown and was sent away to a hospital. My mother said she wasn’t allowed visitors because of her delicate mental state. I’d ask about her occasionally through the years and my mother would tell me that she was still hospitalized. When did Carrie get released?”

  I stared down at her smoothing my fingers over her cheek. “She was only in the hospital for a year. Then she went back to live with her mother who blamed Carrie for every miserable thing that happened in her life.” Blake looked surprised at the information and I presumed his mother had kept Blake in the dark about Carrie being out hoping he’d forget he even had a cousin. I looked over at the aunt and mother who were still hanging around. Carrie’s mother was looking mutinous and not concerned at all for her daughter’s welfare. “I would suggest that both of you leave, now.” I said coldly.

  “I’ll get them out of here. I have some things I want to discuss with my mother.” Blake’s face was tight with confusion and anger. “When Carrie wakes up tell her that I wasn’t aware that she was out of the hospital…” Blake looked at Carrie’s face and his expression twisted in grief. “Just tell her I would like to meet her and get to know her again.” He turned and walked away ushering both woman out the doors. Seconds later Seth burst in.

  “I’m parked right outside.” He said holding open the door.

  As I hurried out the door I took note of Evan and Landon working to dispel the crowd in a ‘nothing here to see’ manner. Noah and Amanda followed me outside. “I’ll try to contain this; tell everyone her mom’s bi-polar or something. Anyone that witnessed this won’t have a difficult time believing it.” He glanced down at Carrie a concerned frown on his face. “Are you taking her to the hospital?”

  “No, it’s happened before and she woke up fine. I’m taking her to the house.” Seth held the back door open and I climbed in cradling Carrie close. I gave Noah a grateful look, Amanda was clutching his arm tears still seeping from her eyes. “Thanks, both of you.” They nodded before stepping back so Seth could close the door.

  The next second we were headed to the house. I monitored Carrie’s breathing closely still slightly panicked that she might stop breathing again or have another nightmare episode while sleeping, but her chest rose steadily and she slept undisturbed the entire drive back. Pulling into the driveway Seth came around to open the door for me.

  “Do you want me to take her?”

  “No.” There was no way I was letting her out of my arms. Scooting out I walked toward the front door that Seth was again holding open for me. As I started walking up the stairs Carrie began stirring in my arms. Her eyes blinked open slowly this time. I didn’t even want to think about her waking up gasping for breath again like last time.

  Seth opened my bedroom door as Carrie’s eyes opened all the way. She looked confused for a second, but then she saw me and the most contented and happy smile crossed her face. My heart lifted at the sight. However, it disappeared almost instantly as I saw awareness take hold transforming the happiness into anguish so profound my heart ached.

  “It’s okay Carrie, I got you out of there and we’re at my house now.” I sat down on my bed still holding her in my arms.

  Her body started to tremble and her hands came up to cover her face as she started to sob, sob so deeply I was afraid she would pass out again as her chest shuddered in and out taking in air. Motherfucker, I wanted to go back and beat on those bitches.

  I rocked her. “Carrie, everything is going to be okay. You won’t ever see them again, I promise.”

  “Do…c..ter Maa…th….ews.” Carrie gasped out.

  I caught on quickly even though she was pretty hard to understand. “You want me to call Dr. Mathews?”

  She nodded jerkily into my chest. “I neee…d herrr, p…leeasse.” She pleaded desolately.

  Her heartbroken tone was tearing out my chest. I’d saved Dr. Mathews number in my phone in case I needed to call her for anything concerning Carrie, but hadn’t dreamed it would be for something like this.

  “Seth, call one of the guys and have them get Dr. Mathews number from my phone in my locker. Then call her and tell her what’s going on.” Seth nodded and with a sorrow-filled look at Carrie he left to make the call.

  I rolled over laying Carrie down on the bed. Folding the blanket over her so that she was wrapped up I snuggled in behind her against the blanket at her back in hopes of calming her trembling. She continued to sob and all I could do was try my best to sooth her telling her how much I loved her and that everything would be alright. After what seemed like hours, but was more like fifteen or twenty minutes, her crying began to slowly lessen into shaky breathing. Her body eventually relaxed into an exhausted sleep but her breathing was still erratic.

  I wiped the tears that had trickled out of my eyes on the blanket covering her. Her crying had been filled with such gut-wrenching grief that it had tore at my guts. She gave another deep trembling breath in her sleep and I tightened my hold on her.

  Worry for her consumed me. Was she just upset about her past being aired in front of a crowd, or had her mother and aunt said something to her that was causing her additional distress? Shit, just having her mother treat her like that couldn’t have made her feel good about herself.

  Meeting her mother and realizing the depth of her hatred for Carrie, and then thinking about her having to live with that for three years made me livid, and overwhelmingly sad, but it also just revealed how strong Carrie’s will really was. That Carrie had become such a gentle soul through all the hate being directed at her was a miracle.

  However, I was afraid that she might have just reached a crevasse she might not be able to pull herself up from.

  I watched the clock on my dresser sporadically and after approximately an hour and twenty minutes there was a soft knock to my door before it slowly opened. I turned my head to see Seth and Dr. Mathews peeking in. Detaching myself carefully from Carrie so as not to wake her I moved from the bed to the door. Stepping outside I left the door open a crack behind me.

  “Thanks for coming.” My voice came out rough from the all the pent up emotions inside of me.

  Dr. Mathews nodded and appraised me with extreme concern. “I was informed over the phone what happened.” She shook her head sadly. “I can’t believe her mother did that. How is Carrie?”

  I rubbed at my face feeling like I’d played twenty games with Syracuse today instead of just the one. “She cried for twenty minutes before falling into an exhausted sleep, and it’s not a fitful sleep. I’m really worried about her. I don’t know what that aunt of hers or her mother said to her before I got there but I’m sure it wasn’t anything good.”

  Dr. Mathews glanced at the door. “I’ll go in and talk to her.” She made to walk through the doors and when I went to follow she stopped. “Let me do it alone, Nic. One person in easier to talk to than two and some of her worries might concern you.”

  I didn’t want to be separated from Carrie after what she’d just been through, and knowing that Dr, Mathews was probably correct didn’t make it easier to accept, but I nodded in agreement. Grabbing a shirt from my dresser since I’d stormed out of the locker room in only my shorts I walked out of the room, but I only went as far as the opposite wall across from my doorway. I might have to leave the room but I wasn’t going far. I slumped down on the floor against the wall.

  “You want company?” Seth asked.

  I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. “Sure.�
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  He sat his substantial frame down next to me. “You doing okay?”

  “No, I’m scared shitless.” I said bluntly. “She took this bad, and I don’t blame her. What her mother did was fucking awful. She was a complete bitch. I can’t believe Carrie’s had to deal with that for three years. And then her aunt showing up after four years of ignoring Carrie; I know they ambushed her for a reason and I think it might have really put a dent in Carrie’s confidence. She’s so fucking strong, but she’s gone through so damn much and shit keeps coming at her. How much more can she take?” I choked the last words out and could feel more moisture gathering in my eyes.

  “She’s got you now to help her through it, and the rest of us. It sounds like she didn’t have too many people to help her before, but she does now.” Seth stated.

  I rubbed my neck. “If she accepts it. Carrie’s one of those self-sacrificing people who’d step aside just so others won’t be put out. She was afraid that her past would cause me problems and tried to put distance between us before. This could just increase her reservations.”

  “And you’re a stubborn ass that doesn’t let much of anything get in his way. She’ll realize the futility of fighting against that.”

  I exhaled a short laugh at his observation. “Yeah, she’s already come across that part of me a time or two.”

  “Then it won’t be a surprise.”