The One I Love

by Mia Ford

  I hoped Charlie would have admired it earlier seeing as how the color makes my eyes pop, but he seemed intent on dinner and drinks making me think sex was off the table. It should have been after my last episode. I was surprised wanted to be around me alone again after my freak out and hiding in the bathroom. Well done, Ada.

  I pick up the remote and turn the television on figuring I can scan for the nightly news or the weather channel. What I don’t expect is to see a full-frontal porno taking up the entire flat screen television. Gasping I look around and Charlie is still behind closed doors. The scene is graphic but also fascinating. I find I can’t tear my eyes away.

  I turn toward his office again waiting to get caught and nothing. Back on the screen, there’s a man fully erect and a woman with pebbled nipples and hair as dark as mine. It’s erotic and sweet the way he traces his lips down her neck leaving wet kisses and down her belly to lick her. I swallow back my own arousal and lean into the couch. I’ll give it a minute, maybe less before I shut it off and Charlie catches me. Now that would be embarrassing.

  I watch the man who has pushed her back on the bed and spread her legs wide. The camera angle leaves nothing hidden and his mouth works her over as she writhes on the bed. I think about my last encounter with Charlie if only I hadn’t been a freak if only I tamped my nerves down enough to let him continue. We could have been past this awkwardness by now. My legs feel warm on the couch and I rub my thighs together. I’m wet and achy and if I touch myself now it’ll only get worse.

  When the man has his hands cupping her breasts and squeezing them I feel a hand snake down my collarbone to cup my breasts. I don’t scream when I recognize its Charlie.

  “Oh, Charlie.” I moan letting his hands slip under the top of my dress to pinch my nipples over my lace bra. My eyes flutter shut feeling instead of seeing. It’s exquisite and exactly what the man on screen is doing except his partner is naked. I want to be naked too. That is a surprising thought.

  “Caught you, Addy.” He leans forward to suck on my neck as one hand slips farther cupping my mounds while the other moves down to slip a finger under my panties spreading the slick juices between my legs. Now I am embarrassed the porn turned me on and it’s obvious.

  I clear my throat. “Watch a lot of porn, do you?”

  His teeth graze my ear until tears prick my eyes from the sting. “Only when some certain brunette leaves me hanging.”

  “I…” I don’t have an answer or a good reason for why I freaked out like a teenager. I’m a virgin, but I’m a woman all the same.

  “Come on, I think we can do better than my couch sweetheart.” His hands leave me just as quickly as they found me and I find myself following him like an emotional drunkard on unsteady legs craving my next drink.

  He gives me a hand and we stumble rush into his darkened bedroom. We don’t bother with turning the lights on and I’m fine with that. I’ll check out his room later.

  “Charlie, I need to-” I don’t get to finish because he’s pulled me in close and then he’s pulling my dress off in one swift motion so smooth I almost don’t even miss it.

  “You are fucking beautiful Addy.” He kisses me and tastes me all the same. Our mouths fuse together and I’m furiously working at the button tab of his pants giggling when it gets caught and he growls low in his throat.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says and I realize he means my head where the bastard hit me. He touches the butterfly stitches and I wince a bit.

  “You won’t hurt me, just don’t turn your head this way when you kiss me.” I don’t think I could feel pain right not with the euphoria of being with him again.

  “Do you want this?” He asks.

  “Of course, I do.” My voice is hoarse with need. “Why would you think?”

  He bites my lips before I can finish that sentence too. I manage to work his pants down his muscular thighs and he pushes me back onto the bed forcing me to scoot up.

  “Because you’re skittish, it’s like you’ve never done this before.” He covers me with his body and a snap sound tears my panties pulling them down as he raises my leg over his shoulder. His mouth moves over my neck and then down my breast. I gasp as he pulls a nipple into his mouth. He releases me with a wet pop and I moan loudly grabbing his head closer.

  “Because I haven’t,” I whisper not caring and lost in the sensation of his heavy body over mine, his crisp hair rubbing against my smooth skin with friction.

  “Never?” He implores.

  “Never,” I repeat.

  Charlie freezes for a spilt-second and I’m terrified I might have lost him somehow. His arm reaches over me and fiddles with the nightstand drawer. He knocks something off on top of it cursing and a giggle escapes me.

  “Charlie?” I question.

  He kisses my lips until they become pliant and sore.

  “Shh, Addy.” He rips a plastic wrapper and I feel his hand and fingers between us moving around.

  “Condom.” He says by way of explanation and I nod because safe sex is best and I wasn’t thinking clearly with his body between my legs and my head in the clouds.

  Charlie grunts and pushes forward slowly.

  “Whoa.” I squeak feeling the head of his cock put pressure at the center of my core and my arms push back against his unmovable chest.

  “Shhh, I’ll be gentle. This is the uh hard part.” He kisses my neck and proceeds to keep a steady pace pushing inside of me. It hurts and yet it doesn’t hurt keeping me immobile half out of fear and half out of wonder at what’s happening with my body and his joining. I’m full to the point of bursting when he stops.

  “That’s it, Addy. Breathe sweetheart.”

  “I need you to move, Charlie. Please.”

  “Oh, I plan to, just give me a minute.” He chuckles and I plop my head back on the bed because really, where else am I going with Charlie’s cock impaled inside of me right now.

  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly testing the movement of my hips. It feels strangely exhilarating. I lick my lips and rest my hands on his shoulders griping them tight. I raise my hips to meet his and he grinds mine back down into the bed.

  “Oh, Addy.” Charlie keeps up the movement and I meet him thrust for thrust tentatively at first until we move in rhythm.

  A rumbling vibration of nerves and sensations fill me from the center. I clench my thighs around Charlie’s hips now that he’s let my leg go. He’s groaning with my movements also and pumps faster.

  I kiss his shoulder and bite the skin gently. “Keep going, Charlie.” I encourage him because it doesn’t feel so raw now with our bodies slick and sweated.

  “Yeah?” He asks moving faster and faster.

  “Yes. Oh god, yes.” I grunt shallow pants scratching his shoulders in response. Everything tightens and curls at once. Starbursts seem to shoot from the back of my eyes and I feel like jelly when the world comes back replete.

  Charlies pumps several more times, his cock swelling before I feel the jettison of his cum from inside the condom filling me. He grinds against me as if to press it deeper in some male animalistic need and the dirty girl in me likes it more than I should. We breathe heavy into the dark and Charlie rolls to his side taking me with him and pulls the bedspread over us like a burrito. It’s warm but not suffocating and it feels good to lay against his chest.

  “I didn’t think it was possible Addy.” He murmurs into my hair kissing me.

  I look up at him in the dark unable to see his face fully but enough to make out the handsome angles I love so much.

  “What?” I inquire. He doesn’t say anything for a moment and I think maybe he’s drifted off to sleep until he speaks low again.

  “Nothing sweetheart.” He hugs me close and I swear I hear him say thank you. My heart thumps and swells. Is this love or maybe strange feelings since it’s Charlie I gave my virginity to? I wouldn’t know having never done it before, but it feels sweet, sugary like candy, melty chocolate. I feel like I’m getting
super mushy and should be way more mature about the whole thing.

  We’ve only been lying together for a few minutes when Charlie jumps up and looks down at me smiling.

  “So, I know that just happened and it was wonderful, but I really want you to sing with me,” Charlie says. He doesn’t care that he’s naked as he goes over to the corner and grabs his guitar. I hadn’t even noticed he’d brought it with him, I’d been so shaken.

  “Right now?” I giggle as I pull the sheets around me and sit up.

  After they are gone I sit and look over some of the notes Charlie has written. He’s at the front locking the door.

  “I want to run it through with you. See how it feels.” I say as I pick up a sheet.

  “Okay, great,” his eyebrows go up as what I said sinks in. He rushes over and grabs the sheets from me. “Those aren’t ready for you yet. Here., I worked on something that I think will suit you a little better.”

  I read the lyrics and wonder why he thinks I would be suited by it.

  Ran from the life and the needle

  Keep getting pulled back in

  A friend says he’s in trouble

  So, I start running again

  The men chasing him are angry

  There’s a lot of grit in his eyes

  My bleeding heart pulled me down

  And I might not make it alive

  “Charlie, why would you think I would like this?” I ask genuinely confused.

  “Because you told me to dig deep. Write about something meaningful and true. Maybe not in so many words,” he says.

  “This is something that happened to you?”

  “Yes,” he says looking down.

  I wonder how much I don’t know about him.

  “I would sing the verses.” He says moving forward to point. “You would sing the chorus. That’s the part I thought you’d like.”

  I read on.

  Loving a man with the wrong idea

  Of what it means to be free is a shame

  I can’t help the way I feel

  His chains are going to drown me and I say

  Bring on the water

  “That’s actually really pretty Charlie.” I’m impressed after reading his bump and grind lyrics from earlier.

  “Thanks, you want to try it. I don’t have the music laid down but I have it up here.” He touches his temple. “I’ll sing it and then you can follow.”

  “Okay,” I’m actually excited to see how the music goes. It’s even prettier than I thought it would be and I find myself getting sucked into the moment.

  “So, what do you say, Ada, you want to give it a go?”

  “Yes, I want to sing with you Charlie,” I tell him.

  “Great, I’ll get Thomas to book the studio all next week.”

  After we sing awhile we find ourselves back in bed for round two. I fall asleep a little later completely satisfied and smiling.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ada

  After Friday night I’d allowed myself to just be lazy. When Sunday rolled around I really didn’t want to go see my dad at all. I’d promised him and he said there would be dinner on the table when I got there. Around four o’clock I drug myself through the shower and got ready.

  Charlie had called and wanted to come over to see me and sing some more. I told him once I got back from dad’s I’d call him. It’s the part of the night I’m looking forward to. Liza had told me once I did it, I’d want to do it all the time and she was right.

  I drive to my father’s house on the other side of town. It’s kind of off the beaten path and in the woods. It wasn’t where we grew up, but it was where he moved. I pull up and notice the grass hasn’t been taken care of. It’s not like dad to not take care of his lawn. He’s always taken such pride in it looking great.

  "Thanks for coming sweetheart." Dad stands in his living room and motions for me to sit on the couch.

  I do so obediently a little nervous about what he'll tell me.

  "Hey Addy," I hear Jimmy say as he walks from the kitchen into the living room.

  I'm filled with fear and anger. My whole body buzzes with adrenaline as I jump up from the couch.

  "What is he doing here?"

  "He's here to help me deliver a message." My father says with no emotion in his voice.

  "He hit me. I sent him to jail the other night." I look around me for something to protect myself with.

  "He's really sorry about that Addybug. It's why I bailed him out."

  My face is hot and tears well up in my eyes. My own father bailed a man out of jail who'd physically abused me. I knew we hadn't been close since mom left, but I never thought he hated me until now.

  "I'm leaving." I make my way towards the door to find Jimmy blocking it. My dad walks up behind me and grabs my arm pulling me back towards the couch.

  I'm terrified now. What did they bring me here for?

  "You aren't singing with that Maxwell kid."

  “What do you mean?”

  “His daddy did us wrong and no daughter of mine is going to have anything to do with that filthy family.”

  “It wasn't Charlie's fault you got fired.” I protest. I’ve never known my father to act this way. He’s being so unreasonable. It makes me wonder what else he could have hid from me. Maybe he’s the reason mama left. Maybe he was mean or crazy. My opinion of my father has forever been changed now.

  I should have known this was why he wanted me here.

  “It doesn't matter. I've got a reputation to keep up.”

  “I'm grown, daddy. You might have been able to tell me what to do in high school but you can't now. I am done with this.” I walk towards the door again prepared to fight Jimmy.

  He just smiles at me and moves out of my way.

  “Addybug. You've left us no choice. You sing with that boy and he'll have an accident. One he might not survive.” He says still with no emotion in his voice.

  “You wouldn't do that.”

  “No, but I would,” Jimmy says continuing to smile. “I've lost you already. I've got nothing else to lose.”

  “You're both crazy, I scream as I run to my car. Hot angry tears run down my face. He wouldn’t hurt Charlie, would he?

  I couldn't live with myself if he did. How can I blow him off? He is so excited about our song.

  I could tell him the truth. I just don't know that it will do any good. My dad always ruins my life in one way or another.

  My opinion of my dad has now changed forever. How could he bail out Jimmy? He hurt me. It just doesn't seem real.

  I'm supposed to record with Charlie tomorrow. I've let him into my heart and my bed. It's going to be the hardest thing I ever do, but I'm going to stand him up.

  There's no doubt in my mind Jimmy will hurt him. If he's said I'm going to shoot him, I'd have gone to the police. The fact that they want to make it look like an accident means the police can't stop it. If I want to kneel him safe I'm going to have to stay away.

  I make the decision to stand him up. Not only will it keep my dad happy it will have the added effect of making sure he never talks to me again.

  Tears run down my cheeks as I make my way to the car. How did this day turn so bad?

  Charlie calls me like I knew he would and I don’t answer. He calls again a little later as I pull back into my apartment complex. I don’t answer again. I go and run a bath and sit in it until the water is cold. Instead of facing getting out, I drain all the water and run more so I can continue to sit in the bath without hypothermia.

  After my bath, I try to go to sleep. Finally, I get up and call Lila, but of course, she doesn’t answer. The clock says it’s only ten o’clock so I try to watch a movie to get sleepy. After that doesn’t work I just lie still and stare at the ceiling. It’s all I can do.

  I decide to do something I haven’t done in a long time to try and go to sleep, drink. I get up and go into my pantry. There’s a bottle of vodka that’s been in the cabinet since I had a roommate. It was her
s, and I’d never been tempted to touch it until this evening.

  I pour some straight and take it down shuddering over the horrible taste. I take down another large gulp and then mix some with a juice I have in the fridge.

  After I finish that drink I make another and notice I feel amazing. I almost call Charlie but decide not to. Once I’m good and drunk I grab a blanket and pass out in the recliner in my living room.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Charlie

  It’s six o’clock and Ada hasn’t shown up to record yet. She should have been here right after work which means she’d have been here at five thirty. Thomas is getting nervous. I’ve called her a few times and I’m just not sure what’s changed. I don’t think I did or said anything that could have upset her, but I’m really not sure.

  Did she get spooked because we slept together?

  “You know how much this is costing me? This studio is not cheap and if we don’t start creating something to put out soon, we’re going into the red.” Thomas paces behind me as I sit in front of the glass case we should be in.