Missing Pieces

by Ivy Smoak

  ***

  I put my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath. It had been a long time since I had run this early, but I couldn't sleep. All I could do was think about Hailey lying in the bed beside mine. I had gotten out of bed at five in the morning and had been running ever since. After several miles I realized I was trying to run off the sexual tension I felt. This whole situation was so frustrating.

  I stared out at the field of grass. And that's when I saw it. A buffalo in the distance. Just like Hailey had said she saw yesterday. I held my breath as I watched it disappear into the sunrise. I hadn't believed her at all. Maybe she really had seen one too. I blinked and saw dots from staring into the sun. Or maybe I had imagined it too.

  I turned back to the hotel and walked as slowly as possible, half trying to catch my breath, half delaying going back to the room. Hailey looked so peaceful while she slept. There was no pain or worry in her eyes. She just looked happy. And it made me realize just how much she was tormented while she was awake. She was dealing with something, and I wanted to know what it was. I wanted to help her. Maybe I could help fix whatever it was. But first, I probably had to open up to her. I just didn't know if I could.

  I let myself into the room as quietly as possible so that I wouldn't wake her. But I was surprised to see that she was already up. She was sitting on the bed with her chin resting on her knee. Her hair was tied in a knot on the top of her head, giving me a view of her long neck. I felt like I was intruding on her privacy. She hadn't seemed to have heard me come in.

  "I saw a buffalo," I said.

  She turned toward me. "Did it stomp on my head?" She put her hand on her forehead.

  I picked up the Advil I had placed on the nightstand for her and handed her it and the glass of water. "Here. And no, I saw it on my run while you were sleeping off your hangover."

  "Ugh. That sounds rather majestic. Are you sure you didn't imagine it?" She put her chin in her hand and smiled at me.

  That's what I had said to her yesterday. "No, it was there."

  "Mhm." She downed the pill and took a huge gulp of the water. "What the hell happened last night?" She leaned back on the bed.

  "You don't remember?"

  She shook her head.

  "You drank tequila like it was water and tried to seduce me."

  She laughed. "I highly doubt that. Well, not the tequila part. That actually sounds like me." She sat back up and slid off the bed. "You should probably go take a shower so you don't stink up the whole car."

  "I thought you liked the way I smelled?"

  She drew her eyebrows together. "What?"

  "Nothing." It really seemed like she didn't remember last night. Maybe that was for the best. Unfortunately, I remembered every second. Especially the way her lips felt against mine. And now it seemed like I had missed my chance. I should have fucking kissed her back. "I'm gonna go take a shower real quick and we can get going."

  Chapter 13

  Hailey

  Monday

  Shit, shit, shit. I quickly got dressed while Tyler was in the shower. I didn't remember all of last night. But I did remember wanting him. Really, really wanting him. I remembered singing with him on stage. I remembered his fingers digging into my hips and the feeling of his erection pressed against me. I clearly remembered him wanting me back. But then I had kissed him. And he didn't kiss me back. So I had told him off. I had told him to drive away without me.

  Everything else was a blur. How I had ended up in this hotel room was a mystery to me. I tried to put the pieces together, but I couldn't remember. All I knew was that we definitely hadn't slept together. If we had, I wouldn't still be so horny that I could barely think straight.

  I didn't know what happened when I walked away from him in the restaurant. But it didn't matter. The only important thing about last night was that I had put myself out there and gotten rejected. So that was that. We were just friends. Which was perfectly fine with me. In a few days we'd be going our separate ways. It's not like it could have been anything more anyway.

  I'd just keep pretending like I didn't remember the whole night. Then there wouldn't be anything awkward between us. It was better that way. I shoved my dirty clothes into my duffel and zipped it closed. There were four states between us and Pasadena. All I needed to do was keep my legs closed and not get shitfaced around him again. I had just wanted to forget for one night. And it had just created more things I needed to forget about.

  And even though the rejection stung, I was glad nothing had happened between us. I didn't want to be the girl he fucked to forget about what he really wanted. For once in my life, I wanted to be the one that someone actually wanted. Me. Not my slut of an ex best friend. I just wanted to be wanted.

  I slung my bag over my shoulder when Tyler emerged from the bathroom. He was fully clothed, thank God. I didn't want to be distracted by his abs ever again. I quickly looked away from him. "Do you want me to drive some today?"

  "Nope."

  It was worth asking. I felt useless. He hadn't even let me help pay for gas yesterday. I was the worst hitchhiker in the history of hitchhiking. And the worst daughter.

  He followed me silently out to the car. I got in the passenger's seat, folded my arms across my chest, and stared out the window.

  Neither one of us spoke or bothered to turn on the radio. There wasn't really anything to say. I was sick of small talk, and it wasn't like I was going to flirt with him anymore. Silence seemed the most fitting.

  Fields of grass blew by us in a blur. Eventually I saw the sign for Oklahoma. Neither one of us said anything about leaving Kansas behind in the dust.

  "She got married last weekend," Tyler said, breaking the spell of silence.

  I turned toward him. "Who?"

  "The girl I..." he let his voice trail off. "I told her how I felt and she didn't feel the same way. She married him anyway."

  Now I understood. I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

  He shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

  But I could tell it did. The love of his life had gotten married and he had fled the state.

  "What does she look like?"

  He kept his eyes on the road. "She's beautiful."

  "You can give me more than that."

  He shook his head and was quiet for a moment. "Red hair, blue eyes, petite, a smile that can light up a room. And she gets the cutest little line in her forehead whenever she's upset." His eyebrows lowered as he stared straight ahead.

  So that was his type. No wonder he didn't want me. A tall, tan brunette with brown eyes was basically the opposite of what he was attracted to. "She sounds stunning."

  "Yeah." He shrugged. "But it wasn't really about that. At first maybe. But she was just really sweet and fun to be with. Our personalities just meshed really well. She was one of my best friends."

  "That must have been hard...losing a friend too."

  He didn't say anything.

  "How long were you in love with her?"

  "Almost three years."

  "Were you ever more than friends?"

  He laughed. "For about a week a little after we first met. Pathetic, right?"

  "No. I don't think so." I pulled my feet up onto the seat and sat cross-legged. "At least you tried. At least you got it off your chest before it was too late."

  He glanced at me for a second. "Yeah. I guess. But it was a shot in the dark. She's never liked me as much as I liked her. She never looked at me the way she looked at him."

  "But now you don't have to regret never trying."

  "Yeah, I just have to regret losing one of my best friends."

  "Maybe it's for the best. You needed to get away from her in order to move on. So, screw her."

  He lowered his eyebrows again. "I still care about her. I want her to be happy."

  "You deserve to be happy too."

  "I'm working on that."

  I stared at him as he drove on in silence. Any girl that could turn him down must have been blind. He was s
eriously hot. Like straight out of the pictures of a magazine. And he had lips that were just begging to be kissed. By someone else. Not me. Some redhead he hadn't met yet probably. I turned away from him.

  He had just opened up to me. It seemed wrong to leave him the only vulnerable one. His heart was broken. I could see the devastation on his face. He loved and lost. That's why it was never really worth taking the risk to love in the first place. I knew that. I had been burned too.

  I took a deep breath and turned back to him. "I'm not just low on cash. I'm in debt. Awful debt, actually. The bar is failing. The bank is taking it back at the end of next month."

  "What about your dad? Can't he help?"

  I looked away from him again. "He's done everything he could think of." Maybe I could open up to him about the bar and my financial problems. But I couldn't talk about my dad. I couldn't say that he was dying out loud. It made it too real. It made it an actual possibility. I couldn't deal with that.

  "So, why the sudden urge to go to Pasadena then? Didn't want to stick around to say goodbye to your bar?"

  "No. I'm not giving up that easily. There's someone there that can hopefully give me a loan." I didn't feel like answering any more questions. "What about you? Why are you heading to California? Did you just want to be on the opposite side of the country as her?"

  "Something like that. Really I just wanted to go somewhere...sunnier."

  "I get that."

  We sped down the highway in silence again. Maybe we could both leave the darkness behind.

  Chapter 14

  Tyler

  Monday

  "Really? They didn't have a single room with two queen beds? There are barely any cars here." I looked around the almost empty parking lot.

  She shrugged her shoulders. "That's what the guy at the front desk said. Maybe all the rooms with queens are being renovated or something." She quickly looked away from me.

  I smiled as I pulled her duffel bag over my shoulder. "Maybe." But it kind of just seemed like she wanted to sleep in the same bed as me again.

  Today had been the easiest day between us. I had finally gotten her to open up. She was trying to save her father's business, which was admirable. I didn't really understand why she couldn't try to get a loan from a bank in Indiana, but I wasn't going to push the subject. I was grateful that she had told me what little she did.

  And honestly, it felt good to get some stuff off my chest too. Hailey was understanding. She had made me feel a little better about everything. Unlike last night when she had told me to grow a pair.

  I didn't avoid staring at her ass as I followed her up the stairs to our room. She had kissed me the other night. She had definitely just requested a room with one bed. If she tried to kiss me again, this time I would kiss her back.

  But nothing happened when we got into the room. We both got ready for bed and a silence fell over us again. Maybe I was wrong about the sleeping situation. Maybe they really were renovating all the rooms with queen beds. I climbed into the other side of the bed and turned off the light.

  I hated going to sleep without saying anything. Really what I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone, despite what she thought. And maybe I needed to be reminded that I wasn't alone either. I stared at the ceiling, waiting for her to fall asleep, but her breathing never seemed to slow.

  I rolled toward her. "Everything has a way of working out, you know."

  For a second I thought she was asleep, but then she said, "Yeah? I'm not so sure."

  "It does."

  "How is the love of your life marrying someone else working out for you?"

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't know why I said that."

  "Actually, it's working out okay. I got to meet you, didn't I?"

  She didn't say anything for a long time. "Goodnight, Tyler." She rolled away from me.

  ***

  I breathed in the sweetest smell. Roses and cinnamon maybe. I took another deep breath and my eyes flew open. My face was nuzzled in Hailey's hair. I stayed completely still. My arm was wrapped around her and my palm was flat against her stomach. I had pushed up her t-shirt and my skin was flush against hers. But her hand was on top of mine, holding me in place.

  I slowly exhaled. We were in the middle of the bed. It's like we had both gravitated toward each other in the night. My knee was pressed between her thighs. And I was so fucking hard.

  Shit. I couldn't let her wake up with me holding her like this with a hard on. She'd think I was perverted. But a small part of me didn't want to let go. I wanted to slide my knee higher up her thighs and see if she wanted me like I wanted her. I wanted her to be as wet as I was hard.

  What the fuck am I doing? I very slowly slipped my hand out from underneath of hers, skating it down her firm stomach. I stopped right above her underwear line. I wanted to slip my fingers into her panties. I wanted to wake her up the way she deserved to be woken up every day. I could imagine how tight she would be. I swallowed hard.

  What the hell is wrong with me? I removed my hand from her stomach and slowly rolled off the bed. The smell of roses and cinnamon seemed to completely surround me. She smelled amazing. I didn't want to leave the room. I didn't want that smell to fade.

  At the rate we were going, we'd be in Pasadena in just a few days. I didn't want our time to end without exploring what could have been. In just a few days, I'd be in basic training. Then I'd be in the Marine Corps for three years of service. Another three years living in regret seemed like the worst possible thing. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn't thinking about what could have been. I was thinking about the girl sleeping in front of me. And how much I wanted her.

  A run wasn't going to help me this morning. I needed a long, cold shower.

  ***

  When I came back out of the bathroom, Hailey was lying on the bed with her head perched up on her hand as she stared at the TV.

  I had purposefully left my change of clothes in the room so that I could come out in a towel just like she had done to me the other day. The room still smelled like her.

  "You know, they're saying it was her ex boyfriend and best friend. Can you believe that? What assholes."

  I glanced at the TV. She was watching the news about the shooting again. A caption was scrolling across the screen that said, "Suspects coming to light in the Hunter shooting." I looked away from the screen. "No, I can't actually. That doesn't even make any sense. Why would they do that?"

  "Maybe her ex was jealous or something? And I'm sure her friend was too. James Hunter was the richest bachelor in the country before she won him over." She turned toward me and her eyes seemed to bulge slightly.

  I tried to hide my smile.

  "Either way, she's totally your type, right? Long red hair, blue eyes, and she looks short. She's absolutely gorgeous."

  "I don't have a type."

  "No?"

  "No."

  She immediately looked away from me and picked up the map that was next to her on the bed. "I was thinking maybe the Grand Canyon is too far out of the way. It'll add a few hours to the trip. We should probably just skip it, right?" She ran her fingers through her hair as she stared down at the map.

  I sat down next to her on the bed, way too close for a normal conversation, but I didn't care. I swore I heard her gulp. Right now, I wasn't in any rush to make our trip together end any earlier. I was going to spend the day teasing her. And tonight? Well, tonight I was pretty sure she'd be begging me to take it further.

  "Where's the Grand Canyon?"

  "Here," she said and pointed to the map.

  It was barely out of the way. "You know what, I was actually thinking it might be cool to stop here too," I said and pointed to where Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico all met. "How cool would it be to stand in four states at once?"

  "That would be pretty awesome. But that's even farther out of the way. I need to
get to Pasadena as soon as possible." She bit her lip as she looked back down at the map.

  I wanted to bite her lip for her. "You know, I've heard that lots of people try to have sex in that spot."

  She laughed. "And I bet they all get arrested."

  I shrugged. "It would be pretty fun to try though, wouldn't it?"

  She looked up at me. "Have you never seen the movie Vacation? I was serious about everyone getting arrested who try it. Besides, there's other fun places to have sex that don't necessarily break the law."

  "Give me one example."

  "Well, with a new partner, isn't anywhere pretty memorable? Even in a random hotel in the middle of Oklahoma?"

  Now I needed another cold shower.

  She smiled at me and climbed off the bed. "Can I drive some today?" She pulled out a tank top from her suitcase.

  "Sure."

  She froze, staring at me. A smile spread across her face. "Really?"

  It would be way easier to flirt with her if I didn't have to pay attention to the road. And this stretch of road was basically deserted. Not many people were traveling to some of the hottest places in the country in the middle of summer. Even if she was a terrible driver, she'd probably be fine. "Yeah, it's about time you pulled your weight. You do have a license, right?"

  "Of course I do. I'm not some slick from NYC who takes the subway and taxis all the time."

  "Very funny."

  "Keys please." She held out her hand.

  "Well, let me get dressed first."

  "Oh, I didn't even notice that you weren't."

  I was pretty sure she was better at playing this game than I was.

  Chapter 15

  Hailey

  Monday

  My plan last night had somehow worked. My lie about there only being king beds left in the hotel had gotten Tyler to wake up in a great mood. A great, very flirtatious mood. And he had even said that Mrs. Hunter wasn't his type. Not those exact words, but close enough. And if he didn't have eyes for her, then maybe he really didn't only chase redheads. Because I had never seen a redhead more gorgeous than her.