Cassie's Choice

by Donna Gallagher

  They all sound so corny, am I really going to do this? she asked herself as she read the site names—eLove-online, Truelovesearch, DestinyAwaits, True Romance. Yes you are. Just pick one already. So Cassie did.

  Filling in the profile information, her likes and dislikes, what she was looking for in a partner was tough, but the hardest section of all was the part where she had to describe herself. The words ‘hopelessly infatuated with an arsehole’ probably weren’t a good way to begin. So, after reading through some of the other ads already posted, she went with the direct approach.

  Blonde, blue-eyed, professional woman, under thirty. Average height, healthy, no children, living in Sydney.

  Her profile page took a bit more thought. This would be where any prospective ‘date’ would be able to see the picture she uploaded and what sort of man she hoped to find.

  Hi, my name’s CassD,

  Searching for the right man to spend quality time with—in the hope of building something long term. I’m tired of not knowing where I stand and wasting time on losers. Living an active healthy lifestyle, I enjoy watching sport, especially rugby league, going to the movies or just curling up on the sofa with that special person sharing the newspaper.

  Not into anything kinky and weirdoes need not reply. Honest, open men only. No redheads.

  Reading back over what she’d written Cassie was not optimistic at her chances of finding that special person. Her ad didn’t really inspire her, let alone some random guy. At least I tried, she consoled herself as she sat back and waited for her profile to load onto the site’s mainframe. She wasn’t really expecting any responses, her requirements for suitable matches being quite extensive. Probably should have left out the red hair bit and the reference to dating losers. Too late now, it’s gone live. With a final shake of her head, Cassie was about to log out of the website and turn off the computer, just as her phone began to ring.

  “Hello, this is Cassie.”

  “Hey, hon, how are you going?”

  “Hey, Pip, glad to be talking to my BFF if you must know.”

  Pippa chuckled. “BFF, yep you know it, Cass. Just as well too, cause I was hoping you might like some company. Mitch has got some function on tonight, stupid men only affair, wouldn’t want any little ole woman-folk spoiling the proceedings…”

  Cassie could tell, having known Pippa for so long, that she was joking and, hearing the muffled sounds of Mitch apologising to her in the background, that Pippa was doing a good job of winding up her poor hubby.

  “You are a terrible wife, Pippa. Poor Rook sounds like he is really worried that you are cross with him,” Cassie scolded Pippa.

  “Yeah I know,” Pippa agreed, “but it’s so much fun watching him squirm. Want me to pick up something to eat on the way over? I was thinking Thai…”

  Cassie loved Thai food. The thought of a spicy Red Curry Chicken or maybe a Massaman Beef had her mouth already watering and her spirits lifting.

  “Sounds perfect. Grab the usual and we can go shares-ies.”

  “Shares-ies, Cass? You make us sound like a couple of teenagers. I love it. See you in about thirty.”

  Pippa was still laughing as the connection ended. Cassie was now looking forward to the night. Yummy food and Pip—just the thing I need to stop me from thinking about him, she thought as she headed into the kitchen to grab some plates and cutlery in preparation for Pippa’s arrival.

  * * * *

  Two minutes! That was the length of time it took before Pippa had mentioned Riley’s name. “So much for taking my mind off him,” Cassie mumbled as she split both curries between the two plates. “Can’t we talk about something else? Like the dating site I joined just before you rang?” Why on earth she’d let that slip out, Cassie could not fathom. What the hell had she been thinking?

  “The what?” It was almost funny seeing the shock on Pippa’s face and hearing the way she stumbled over the words.

  “The online dating service I joined,” Cassie repeated slowly as if Pippa was hard of hearing. “I had to do something, I need to move on with my life and sitting here sulking over Riley Walters was not achieving anything. So I thought I would try something new.” Cassie shoved a forkful of chicken into her mouth to stop herself from saying anything else and only succeeded in burning the top of her tongue in the process.

  “Online dating service! You joined an online dating service…” Pippa just stared at her. It was comical in a way, Pippa’s mouth opening and closing like some sort of puppet, her hand frozen mid-air, fork pointing towards her mouth and curry sauce dripping everywhere.

  With her mouth still full of hot chicken, Cassie just mumbled, “Ahem” and continued watching Pippa’s guppy routine. Just as Cassie was able to swallow the chunk of food she’d been moving from one cheek to another in an attempt to cool it enough to digest, Pippa placed her fork back onto her plate.

  “So, can I see your profile or page or whatever it is you have on this online find-a-man site?”

  “No!”

  “Why not? We are BFFs.”

  “I don’t care. No!”

  “Please?”

  “No!”

  This line of conversation went on like this for a few minutes, Pippa pleading and Cassie refusing.

  “I’m going to check your history—bet you didn’t clear it.” Pippa jumped up from the table and ran into the room where Cassie stored her computer before she could stop her.

  But Cassie was hot on Pippa’s heels. “Don’t you dare touch my computer,” she said as she pushed past Pippa and grabbed the mouse out of her friend’s hand.

  “Huh! Not only did you not clear your history, silly, you didn’t even log off the website. Ooh blonde, blue-eyed…”

  Cassie groaned at her own stupidity. She had really thought she’d logged off but then with the phone call she must have forgotten and now Pippa was reading her ad.

  “Nice touch with the bit about ‘no redheads’, but I think you might be being a bit hard on the ranga population, hon.”

  “I don’t care. I never want to see another red-haired, green-eyed man for as long as I live,” Cassie finished with a pout of her lips for good measure.

  “You really are still hung up on him. Have you tried talking with him about it?” All at once the mood changed and took on a more serious undertone. Cassie could hear the sincerity in the question, could see the look of concern on Pippa’s face.

  “Well, now that you mention it, do I have a story for you…”

  Cassie spent the next ten minutes filling Pippa in on all the details of her recent interaction with Riley. It was hard bringing it up again, remembering the kiss, the way her body had reacted to Riley’s. Realising that after all this time and many long arguments with herself, to get over him, she was still at exactly the same place emotionally and physically as she had been two years ago.

  “Riley kissed you?” Pippa asked when Cassie had stopped talking.

  “After everything I said, that is your first question?” It was so typical of her friend to hone in on that piece of information. “Yes, but then he pushed me out the door. Did you hear that bit of my story?”

  “Yeah, yeah, details. I still reckon my hubby is right. Riley Walters has the hots for you and is too scared to act on it.”

  Well, that was just perfect for everybody else to think that, but it didn’t help Cassie any. She was still sharing her bed with a cuddly toy and her only recent orgasms had been with the help of her vibrating rubber friend.

  Chapter Eleven

  Cassie was looking at the underwhelming number of replies to her ad on the True Romance website and feeling quite glum. It had taken her a few days to work up the courage to even look at her stupid profile. Especially after Pippa had found out about it, and now that she had, Cassie wished she hadn’t.

  There were only two responses. Maybe I should do another one, perhaps be a little bit more enticing. She did concede that her first attempt was not all that good, written while she had been in a fu
nk over Riley—Like that has changed. She had only just finished reading through the first reply email, and feeling a bit sickened by it—Ewww! He sounds weird and what’s that around his neck? OMG it’s a snake—when the knocking began. Cassie wasn’t expecting any visitors so the knock on the door took her by surprise.

  “Hold on, I’m coming,” she shouted at the closed door as she hurried up her hallway. Probably just someone wanting to save my eternal soul. Who else would be up this early on a Saturday morning? Cassie was getting ready to deliver a quick ‘no thanks’ to the visitor before she was caught up in some lengthy dialogue about the benefits of worshipping some God or another. So she was completely taken aback at the sight of Riley Walters, and not some pious member of a religious faction, standing on her doorstep.

  “What are you doing here? It’s not Pippa or Rook? Has something happened to them?” It was the only reason she could think of for why he would be standing there at her door. After their last conversation, the idea of Riley popping in to see her was the last thing Cassie would ever have expected to occur. So there must have been something sinister to have got him here.

  “What…? No, it’s nothing like that, Cass, I’m sorry if seeing me made you automatically think the worst. Pip and Rook are fine. Well, last time I saw them, anyway. I came to talk to you, if that’s okay?”

  It may not have been a religious visitor, but Cassie couldn’t help but think that hell must have frozen over. Riley Walters was at her door, wanting to talk!

  God, he looks so handsome. “I think we said everything that needed to be said the other night…” Cassie started saying but lost her train of thought when she noticed Riley’s hair. Instead of the ginger crew cut he usually sported, his hair was a startling white, like he had bleached it.

  What the hell? she thought then repeated aloud, “What the hell happened to your hair?” She couldn’t help herself, had to ask the question. Even though she knew she should nip this conversation—and visit—in the bud, she also knew that it wasn’t going to help, in any way, in getting him out of her head—or her life if she didn’t find out why he was standing at her door. She would just spend the next hours, days, years wondering about his impromptu visit.

  Riley chuckled, the sound almost making her knees go weak. This was not good. Her responses, reactions to seeing him, hearing his voice, his laughter were always the same. Would she never exorcise him from her life? If she were smart she’d slam the door. But I’m not smart, I’m pathetic.

  “I needed to see you, Cass, need to talk to you. I’ve been thinking about us, what happened and I need to clear the air with you. I would have called first, but I didn’t think you would agree to see me. I was hoping that by coming here, to your house, that maybe I could persuade you to just hear me out for a bit. But I will go if you tell me to. I’m just praying that you don’t. Not yet, anyway.”

  He seemed genuine. There was an air about him that Cassie picked up on, like it was important to him that she gave him this chance. But what about the things that were important to her? How would this ‘talk’ affect her? What else was there for him to say that hadn’t already been said or made obvious by his disappearance or dismissal of her the other night?

  “I don’t know, Riley. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to hash it all up again, but I would like to know what happened to your head. Did you lose a bet or something?”

  Why else would he do something so ridiculous to his hair? Men and their silly bets!

  “It wasn’t for a bet. I read something that made me do it,” was his puzzling reply.

  “Well, I’m not sure about your reading habits…” Then the penny dropped. Riley had read her ad, in particular the bit about no redheads. Cassie wasn’t sure what emotion to feel first—embarrassment and humiliation that Riley was aware of her online campaign to find a date—or touched by the notion that he would do something so drastic to his appearance for her.

  “I answered you, sent you an email a few days ago, but you didn’t write back. I just couldn’t wait any longer. Please, Cass, can I come in just for a few minutes?”

  They were still standing on her doorstep. She needed to make up her mind—Let him in? Turn him away?—Jump his bones?—the last thought and accompanying imagery being one she knew she should not be thinking about. But he dyed his hair for me? Finally pushing aside all her doubts, Cassie made up her mind. She would give him the chance to explain why he was here, and why he would do something so extreme—for her. Moving to the side, she gestured for Riley to enter. “Come in then. But only for a minute.”

  As he moved past her to enter the hallway, Cassie sniffed. Riley’s scent filled her nose. I might as well make the most of it. He smelt good. Like he always did—masculine, earthy, although there did seem to be just the hint of an astringent smell attached to him this time. Bleach smell.

  “Please tell me you used proper hair dye to get that look?” she asked, pointing her finger in the direction of his new blond do.

  “Well, I got some help actually,” Riley said with a little shrug of his shoulders then he delivered the most beautiful grin Cassie had seen in a long time. She loved that grin. It made her heart flutter just looking at it. Riley’s emerald green eyes always shone that little bit brighter when he smiled.

  “You went to the hairdresser and asked for that? What was the salon thinking? And I hate to say it, but it’s a terrible job. They missed a whole section of your head just here.” Before she realised what she was doing Cassie touched Riley’s head. The impact was immediate. A warm thread of desire shot through her fingers, up her hand and her arm. It felt as if every nerve ending in her limb awoke and began to sing. She snatched her hand back, but it was obvious that Riley had witnessed her reaction.

  “That felt so good. You touching me.”

  Riley looked at her, it was really confusing. He looked like he wanted her to touch him again. Cassie thought she recognised that look in his eyes, the one he would get just before they made love, but she must have imagined it. It’s just Desperate Cassie making her appearance again. Stop it.

  “I didn’t go to a hairdresser. Like I said, a friend did it. Guess she won’t be changing her profession anytime soon then?”

  Another woman had helped him then, judging by the way he’d just said ‘she’. The jealous reaction that the thought caused only made Cassie more annoyed with herself. Grow up. Just get this conversation over… OMG it was Pippa! It was all starting to fall into place. How else would Riley know about her lonely hearts ad… Pippa… That’s how! Cassie would kill her well-meaning best friend first chance she got.

  “Please don’t tell me Pippa did that to you?”

  “Okay I won’t if that’s what you really want,” Riley replied, gifting Cassie another heart-fluttering grin. “But it was my idea. I made her help me.”

  Cassie shook her head from side to side at the notion of Pippa doing such a horrible thing to Riley’s hair.

  “Do you want a cup of tea or coffee?” What was she doing? Now she was offering to make him a drink, prolong his stay… Because that’s what you want to do, silly, the voice inside her head replied helpfully. It just seemed so natural to ask him, it was like the air had shifted and Cassie could not feel any tension between them. Which should have unsettled her but didn’t.

  “I’d love a coffee, if that’s all right?”

  “I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t. C’mon, we might as well take this into the kitchen. Beats standing in my hallway all morning.” With that Cassie shut the front door behind Riley and headed towards the kitchen, her head spinning with possibilities and a slow dawning ray of hope that maybe this conversation might not be as bad as she’d first expected.

  She made short work of fixing them both a hot drink and settled into a chair at her kitchen table, motioning for Riley to join her. “So what’s all this about then?” she finally worked up the nerve to ask.

  He was in and sitting at her table, a cup of coffee warming his hands. Riley was still t
rying to come to terms with the fact that Cassie had let him through her door. Maybe Pippa was right and she did have feelings for him. And Oh, My God, that T-shirt, the way it stretches across her chest. The sight was killing him. It was hard enough trying to keep a clear head, remember the words he’d rehearsed, without the distraction of those pert boobs making his fingers itch and his mouth water. Stop acting like a mongrel dog on heat, Walters. Get it together, you may only have one shot at this. Make it count.

  Cassie’s question had caught him off guard. He dragged his line of sight away from her chest and back up to her face. This conversation wasn’t going to be easy, but he needed to begin. He just had to make Cassie understand where his head had been back then and hopefully… No, he couldn’t hope for anything, yet. First things first, he needed Cassie to accept his apology for the way he had acted, for leaving her alone with Mike and not checking to make sure she was okay. And Riley understood that he didn’t really deserve her forgiveness, after all this time.

  “I’m so sorry for everything. The way that night went down, how I wasn’t man enough to tell you I was leaving, why I left and again for what happened the other night.”

  “You’ve already apologised, Riley. But I would like to know why, and when, you decided to just up and leave without so much as a text message to let me know what was going on. It really hurt me to think that you could just ignore me and everything that had happened between us.”

  “I was scared, Cass. That’s the truth of it.” Riley looked down into his coffee cup, tried to find the words he needed. But the cup did not hold any answers. It was up to him to find the right things to say to explain what had happened to him that night and how and why he’d overreacted.

  “I always wanted more for us,” he began, the words slowly forming and exiting his mouth. “I might have only been eighteen, but I knew that I wanted more from our relationship—I was in love with you. It scared the shit out of me. What did I have to offer you? You were way out of my league, the older woman, good job, owned your own house. I was this inexperienced student with nothing behind me, nothing to offer you…”