Cassie's Choice

by Donna Gallagher

  “I didn’t think that, Riley, never—”

  Riley cut Cassie off, “Let me finish, please…before I lose my nerve. You don’t understand. I studied how to make love to you, borrowed books from the library, sat up all night reading just so I could make sure that I satisfied you. I thought that if I could keep you happy… I could keep you in my life. We never discussed what we had together. I wasn’t prepared to risk losing what I did have with you by acting like some lovesick loser. That’s the only reason I agreed to that thing with Mike. I was terrified you would go off with him, without me. I figured, stupidly, as long as I was involved in the threesome, that you wouldn’t get bored with me. My mistake, because when I saw him touch you, I went crazy. I wanted to rip Mike’s head from his neck. I wanted to hurt him, Cassie. And that thought terrified me. I was losing control. You see, it reminded me of something that happened in my past.”

  Riley paused. Looked into Cassie’s blue eyes. “I don’t know if you ever heard about the time Mandy Thomson was hurt?”

  He desperately wanted to know what Cassie was thinking. Find a clue as to her reaction to his claim that he loved her and that he had lost his mind when Mike had touched her. The nasty image of Mike’s big cock sliding in between Cassie’s lips flicked into Riley’s head, making his body shudder at the memory.

  “I’ve heard a little. Her ex stalked her and broke into her apartment. She was hurt pretty bad from what I remember. JT’s father came to Mandy’s rescue. Why does that have anything to do with what happened to us? That was years ago.”

  Just thinking about that time made Riley feel sick—a picture of Mandy lying on the floor now filling his thoughts. Riley pushed them away. “I was with Mandy at the time. I ran for help and I saw what happened to her. I was eleven and the images have haunted me ever since. I compared my anger at Mike for touching you with how that guy felt about Mandy. I hated seeing him touch you because I wanted you for myself, wanted to drag you off and never let another man near you. I really believed what I felt was wrong—my reaction was unusual and uncalled for, over the top. I feared I was losing my mind and that I was turning into some obsessed sicko. I had to run, get out of your house. And I didn’t stop running. Until now.”

  Chapter Twelve

  The words Riley had said didn’t all make sense. Cassie could not believe she’d heard them. He’d loved her? Why hadn’t he said something? You didn’t. It was true she hadn’t, and the stupid thing was it had been for the exact same reasons Riley had not told her. She’d been too afraid to spoil what they had, scared that if she’d told him how deeply she felt for him, he would have run off screaming. Cassie had thought she was just a bit of fun for him. They had both been so foolish. But she still didn’t quite understand the link between Mandy and the night of the ménage.

  Riley was struggling with his emotions. It was written all over his face and Cassie could see it in the rigid way he held his body. She also worried over the way he clung onto the coffee cup, fearing he would smash it and cut himself. She reached across the table and gently prised Riley’s fingers one by one from his grip on the china.

  “Let me have this, before you crush it,” she crooned, trying to make her voice sound soothing, reassuring to Riley. “Relax, Riley, I’m trying to understand what you’re saying, but I’m not getting it. Oh, I get the part about being afraid to let me in on your true feelings. I have my own admission to make. I was in love with you too and terrified that if I told you, even hinted about how deeply I cared for you, you would laugh me off. I can’t believe you studied sex books. All along I thought you must have been so experienced, you were such a generous lover. I figured you must have slept with a heap of woman to be that good and you would eventually get bored with me. Wondered how long it would take an eighteen-year-old to tire of curling up on the sofa with me, hanging out in front of the TV, when you could be out partying at Jetstream. Believed that eventually you would want more excitement in your life than I could give.” Cassie threaded her fingers through Riley’s, squeezed his hand against hers, palm to palm. “We really made a mess of it,” she said sadly. Her heart was breaking at the chance she’d missed by not being honest with him.

  “They are some of the best memories I have of us, Cass. I mean, I’m not saying that making love to you isn’t right up there on the list, ’cause it is—at the top. But the simple things we shared like reading the paper together in bed, or watching a movie—those times made me so happy. Made me feel like… I don’t know, normal. It was in those moments I forgot to worry about you kicking me to the kerb.”

  Riley was rubbing little circles on the inside of her wrist with his thumb and for a time Cassie just watched the movement, enjoying the tingling sensations his touch left on her skin. It was mesmerising. Suddenly it hit her. Cassie had one of those light bulb moments people talk about—she began to understand what Riley had said about Mandy and the impact those events had had on him. And with this new-found knowledge, her heart just about jumped out of her chest. It wasn’t about her at all. Riley had been trying to protect her from his anger. Anger he’d clearly focused towards Mike.

  “So this Mandy thing. You saw what happened and because of that you confused being jealous and acting like a caveman—a common male response, by the way—with something more sinister. Is that what you’re saying?”

  The sensual movements of Riley’s thumb on her wrist ceased. She saw a slight movement of his lips, almost a smile, before he answered, “That’s about it in a nutshell. It took me over two years and a long embarrassing conversation with Brodie to figure out what you just did in seconds—I’m such an idiot.”

  “So, I guess I have two questions I need to ask you then.” Cassie leant forward a little and looked directly into Riley’s eyes. “Would you ever physically hurt me? From what you’ve just told me, most of your anger was directed at Mike, stemming from a man who didn’t want someone sexually touching the woman he loved. What I need to know is…” She paused, the answer to her question one that would make all the difference if there were any chance of reconciliation. “Was any of that anger directed towards me?”

  “Of course not! Never in a million years would I hurt you like that.”

  Riley’s response had been immediate, he’d sounded like he was horrified that she’d even felt the need to ask. It made Cassie want to cry. She had been hurting for two years because they had been too stupid to have a simple conversation. She also felt so sorry Riley had gone through the trauma he had, wondering why on earth someone hadn’t realised what an impact the whole episode had had on his life.

  “Well, that’s a relief, because now I can ask you the second part of my question… Where do you want to go from here?”

  Waiting for Riley to answer was torturous, the silence in her kitchen unnerving, reminding Cassie of a silent and dramatic scene from a movie, the part right before the heroine gets sliced to bits. His reply would change her future because Cassie had already decided that she wanted to give them another chance, if he did. They could never really go back, she knew that, but they sure as hell could start again. Only this time with a promise of total honesty between them, no matter how they thought the other might react.

  It was all riding on Riley’s reply.

  “What I’d really like is if we could try again.” Saying the words was frightening. Riley put his heart on his sleeve, mainly given the courage by Cassie’s own words and actions. With her fingers still wrapped around his own and the feel of her soft skin under his thumb, he had divulged his darkest time and she had understood. He was still smarting that Cassie had asked the question about him hurting her but really he understood why, after his confession. It was the second question, when it finally sank into his thick skull, which had rocked him more, though. He had answered honestly. Being with Cassie again was what he wanted. He sent a quick prayer to whatever God was listening that she would like his answer—or better yet, be on board with it.

  “I’d like that too.”

  Ok
ay, Walters, did she just say what I think she said? He was pretty certain he’d heard her right but wanted to be sure. “Can you say that again? I just want to make sure I wasn’t just imagining what I wanted to hear,” Riley asked.

  Cassie laughed. A beautiful sound, one Riley was thankful to be present to hear.

  “I said I’d like that too… But this time with some ground rules. First off, that hair has to go…”

  Ground rules, moving a couple of mountains, shaving his head, Riley didn’t care. He would be happy to do anything just for this chance. Well, anything that didn’t involve sharing her. He still couldn’t believe it was happening. Riley was not completely convinced that he wasn’t just dreaming and that at any minute he would wake and be devastated that it had all been just fantasy. The table felt solid under his arm, though. The chair he sat on, yep, it was real and the touch of Cassie’s skin certainly was getting a ‘hello there’ reaction from his cock.

  “I think we should set them together, these ground rules,” he replied, “and make sure we add one about being monogamous, because you’re the only woman I want in my life and I sure hope that you feel the same about me, Cass.”

  “Well, sexy, I wouldn’t want you to rip anyone’s head off. That would be very messy… But that works both ways—I have no desire to scratch some female’s eyes out for touching you either. So, you wanna shake on it or kiss?”

  The little minx hadn’t missed the opportunity to tease him back with her reply and Riley loved every word she had said.

  Dragging Cassie’s body up and over the table was Riley’s ideal answer to that question, but he showed restraint, much to the disapproval of that rigid piece of his anatomy that was very keen on the idea. His cock was desperate to be buried inside Cassie’s pussy. Riley’s brain was trying to put the brakes on. Words like Slow it down, make this moment count, Walters and Why rush her? Take your time get to know each other again, you have forever to get this right bounced around his head. Cassie was looking at him, her eyes full of expectation. Cassie wanted Riley to take her—it was obvious to him by the way her gaze never left him, her smile and the way she pulled him in her direction still holding his hand. He was being an idiot, should take what she was offering with thanks and a huge helping of relief.

  “Are you sure, Cass? Because once I make love to you again, I can’t let you go. If we take this next step, and for the life of me I don’t know why I’m giving you this chance to walk away…”

  Riley didn’t have to worry for long. He watched as Cassie stood, the sound of her chair, as it fell over, ricocheting around the room not enough to distract him from her movements. She circled the table towards him. “Move back a little,” she said. No sooner had Riley accomplished her request than Cassie straddled him, throwing one leg over his lap and sitting down. Face to face, her bottom resting on his thighs.

  “Kiss me, Riley. I’m one hundred per cent sure.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Those eyes, they were lady-killers, and that mouth—Cassie loved Riley’s lips. They were quite full, the perfect size to nibble on, tease with her teeth, and she gently nipped the bottom one and drew it into her mouth. For some reason Riley was holding back. He wanted her—that was clearly evident from the ridge of male hardness she could feel pushed up against her. Cassie decided to take what was hers. Caution be damned.

  “Cassie!” Riley groaned.

  The weight of his arms encompassed her as he circled them around her waist, crushing her body to his.

  “Come here,” he said, before he found her lips with his own.

  At first gently, Riley pressed his mouth to hers. Gradually the pressure increased and Cassie couldn’t stop the sigh of happiness from escaping. She parted her lips and Riley took the invitation to invade her mouth with his tongue. She tilted her head and savoured the feel of his kiss. Cassie was lost in the moment. His taste, his scent, the feel of his strong legs under her thighs and his hard chest firmly up against her breasts as he made love to her mouth—and that’s what it was, Riley was making love to her with his lips. He was a maestro when it came to kissing, leaving Cassie a boneless, gooey lump of need perched on his lap trying to take it all in. Her senses on overload, her pussy wet and ready for him.

  In the mostly silent room, the muffled sounds only added to the atmosphere. Soft moans and throaty growls, the scrape of fingernails running along denim, lips meeting, the hiss of air drawn through busy lips into desperate lungs. It was surreal and yet so familiar to Cassie, a state of euphoria she had feared she’d never experience again.

  She prised her lips from Riley’s, shook her head when he tried to pull her face back to his using the hand he had tangled in her hair.

  “Wait, I need to catch my breath.” It took a great deal of concentration to get those few words out. Cassie wasn’t sure if it was because of her oxygen-deprived lungs or the fact that her heart was beating too wildly to send any blood to her brain.

  “Do you need to slow it down, babe? Are we moving too fast?”

  Riley’s voice sounded as breathless as her own. His face morphed from one of lust into concern. Concern for her. How could he have worried he was wrong for her when everything about him, everything he did showed her how much he cared about her well-being?

  “No, the pace is just right, sweetie,” she replied, her voice a little more under control. “I just wanted to have a bit of space so I could undo your fly. You were holding onto me so tightly I couldn’t get my hand between us, and I really need to touch you.”

  Riley chuckled, the sound low and throaty. “Oh, okay then. But I think I should warn you that I might not last. Just the thought of your hand on my cock… I’m already struggling not to come in my jeans.”

  This time it was Cassie’s turn to laugh. “Smooth, Walters! Really smooth. You sure know how to sweet-talk a lady.”

  “Just sayin’ it like it is, babe. You’ve always had that effect on me. I thought I’d just built up the memory of your kiss, over the last two years. What it did to me. That was until the other night. My imagination, my memory didn’t hold a candle to the real thing. If the kettle hadn’t disturbed us, I would have taken you right on my kitchen floor. I’m not proud of knowing that, by the way. But you wanted honesty.”

  “Oh, Riley, I would have let you. New ground rule… Throw away that bloody kettle. Now how about we take this somewhere more comfy, like my bed?”

  Cassie gave a little squeak, not expecting Riley would stand up while she was sitting on his lap. “I’m too heavy for you, I can walk, you know!”

  “You weigh nothing at all and I’m not ready to let you out of my arms yet. Stop squirming and let me carry you. The quicker we get to your room, the faster I can get your clothes off.”

  Riley had a point so Cassie settled back against his chest and wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt weightless. Her body mass may not have changed, but her heart was definitely lighter. She was happy, a happiness that had eluded her for years. Being in Riley’s arms, that was where she wanted to be.

  Entering her room triggered something in them both. The desire to be together became a frantic need. In a tangle of hands and fingers, each tried to undress the other. Cassie fumbled with the fastenings of Riley’s jeans, her fingers not working fast enough, as Riley attempted to drag her T-shirt up over her head.

  They were getting nowhere fast.

  Riley sighed, and at the sound of his chuckling she paused. “What’s so funny?”

  “This is… Why don’t we try this a different way?” he asked as he caressed her face, cupping her cheek in his palm. “How about I get out of these jeans and you slip off that T-shirt?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Cassie said as she stripped, the words slightly muffled by the fabric of her T-shirt as she whisked it over her head.

  Finally they were both naked, Cassie’s eyes full with the glorious sight of Riley standing in front of her.

  “You are so beautiful,” she whispered as she took a step towards him.<
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  “I think that’s my line,” he replied as he matched her step forward bringing them together.

  Cassie trailed a path from Riley’s nipple down over his rippling abs with her fingers, following the line of hair that led to his fully aroused penis. He had a swimmer’s body, tall and lean with wide shoulders and a narrow waist. She had always been fascinated by the size of Riley’s feet—it seemed like a silly thing to find attractive in a man, but she did. Riley’s extremities were all overly large. The one between his legs standing erect and pointing towards her could not be ignored. She wrapped her fingers around the hardness, warm and smooth to touch. She stroked it from base to tip. Heard his hiss, watched as his stomach muscles tightened just as his hand covered hers, halting her movements.

  “I won’t last.” Riley touched her on the chin with his free hand, gently lifting her head so she could meet his gaze. “Let me pleasure you first, I want to feel your silken walls hugging my cock when I come and I’m guessing that will be about nought point two seconds after I enter you. I really would love to take it nice and slow but, honey, I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long it just ain’t gonna happen.”

  Cassie didn’t have the chance to reply as Riley’s mouth descended on hers. With hungry lips and tongue, he took her more forcibly this time. She melted into his touch. Cassie flung her arms around Riley’s neck for support as his tongue wielded its magic inside her mouth.

  Riley drifted his hands down her body—she shivered in response to his touch. He left the mind-blowing assault on her mouth and dropped his head towards her breast. As he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked, pleasure swamped her. She arched her back and moved her body closer to his, trying to push more of her breast against his lips and rub her throbbing pussy against something hard, his leg, his hip, his cock, she didn’t care, just wanted to find some release before she died from the aching need that was burning her from the inside out.