One Last Letter

by Pema Donyo

  “I can’t imagine ever leaving this place. Can you ever imagine living in a town more wonderful?” She gestured to the crowd with the hand that wasn’t holding her sarsaparilla. “It’s home to me.”

  “It is to me, too.” He looked down at his opened bottle, and then set it down on the counter. “I’ve considered staying in Hamilton before.”

  “Oh, you don’t still want to leave for California, do you? I know it must be exciting and all, but nothing quite compares to home.” Annie brought both hands to each side of her cheeks in an exaggerated movement. Her sarsaparilla bottle nearly fell out of her hand. He grabbed it from her before it could shatter on the ground.

  “So considerate.” She pointed to the trail leading away from the church. Her voice was perky, like nothing could bring down her spirits. “Say, I was hoping to talk to you alone. Do you want to go for a walk with me and get away from here for a while?”

  He shook his head. “Think I’ll just stay here for now.” He pointed at Loretta and Preston, who’d joined the group of dancing couples. “Can’t believe I ever wanted to split ’em up.”

  Skirts of every color and cloth, full and twirling, flew out as the men picked up their partners and set them back down. Green dresses, red dresses, blue dresses—Jesse’s eyes focused on the image of the woman in the navy blue dress.

  He pushed away from leaning against the counter and straightened his coat. “Excuse me, Annie.” He walked away from her and toward the throng of couples in the center. The entire time his eyes remained fixed on Evelyn.

  The song had just ended, and the band was deciding the next song to play while the couples stood patiently in the center. He strode up to the beautiful woman in the blue dress and tapped her on the shoulder. The man next to her scowled, but Jesse didn’t care.

  He extended his hand. “How about the next dance?”

  Her eyes widened. She didn’t protest, though. Jesse could feel John’s scrutinizing glare at the back of his neck as John walked away.

  Jesse placed one hand on the small of her back, and the other was outstretched to hold hers. The music started again, and they spun and stepped to the beat. The music was slower than the previous song, and the couples danced in an easy manner, chatting among themselves.

  Evelyn peered over his shoulder, probably to check if John was out of earshot. She must have been satisfied because she said to Jesse, “What are you trying to do?”

  “Dance with one of my friends.” He smirked as he noticed her cheeks flush. His chest was pressed close to hers, and he could almost hear her heart beating. “Reckon there’s no harm in that.”

  “One song only.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “You just pushed John away. He traveled here with me, not you.”

  “I know. I have to tell you something, though.”

  She sighed. “Tell me what? You’d better have a reason—”

  “I see the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re his possession, not someone he cherishes. How well does he even know you?”

  He felt Evelyn’s body stiffen against his. “What do you mean?”

  Jesse’s mind raced. There was only so long until the dance ended and she’d be back in John’s arms again. He needed to say something to get her away from this man. Anything. He couldn’t stand seeing her being so close to Cooper a second longer.

  “Come with me.”

  “Are you out of mind?”

  “Just do it.”

  “Come with you where?”

  Maybe he was a little out of his mind. He didn’t know where. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand the way he saw John looking at her out of the corner of his eye. He needed to take her someplace where John couldn’t find them. A place all to their own.

  A memory flashed before his eyes. Of course. He tugged at her hand, but she resisted. They stopped dancing in the center of the circle. Couples danced around them, a colorful blend of skirts and suits.

  “It’s just for a little while. We’ll come back if you want to.”

  “Jesse, I doubt I can just leave John here—”

  “Trust me.”

  She fixed him a wary eye, but she allowed him to guide her away. By the time John realized what was happening and caught up to them, she was sitting in Jesse’s buggy.

  “Evelyn, come down from there this minute.”

  Jesse tipped his hat to John. “Take Annie back to her home when she wants to leave. Evelyn and I need to sort out something on the ranch for a while, Mr. Cooper.”

  With a flap of his reins, the horses started forward and away from a fuming John Cooper. The roll of the wooden buggy wheels tuned out John’s sounds of protest from behind them. They left the wedding guests behind as the horses headed back up the trail.

  Eventually Evelyn recognized the road.

  “Why are we going back to Breighton?” She raised an eyebrow. “All the ranch hands are still down there in Harleigh. They have finished the work for today.”

  “Do you still go out into the pastures?” He turned to her and smiled. “How far do you still venture out there?”

  “Not any farther than the barbed wire,” she said slowly. She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and shook her head. “I hope you are actually taking me somewhere, Jesse. There is no reason to come back to Breighton so early.”

  “You’ll see.” He continued the buggy further down the trail, past Evelyn’s house. Where the big house ended, another road began. The cleared path followed a neighboring ranch’s corral, the sturdy wooden posts marking the way to their destination.

  He finally stopped, and heard her draw in a quick intake of breath.

  The white gazebo stood ahead of them, the same as he had remembered it from all those years ago. The paint had faded, and he reckoned a fine layer of dust had settled on the floor. Otherwise, the gazebo was exactly the same as it had been on the last day he’d seen Evelyn before she left for the East Coast. The exact same as all the days they’d spent hiding away from her father. The exact same as the time they’d been in love with one another.

  He helped her out of the buggy. They walked to the gazebo together, down the road lined with pebbles. While the nostalgia was overwhelming, so was the foreign sense of intrusion. He hadn’t walked this road in years.

  By the looks of it, she hadn’t either. Her slender hands traced the white posts, her fingertips skimming over the chipped paint like she’d never seen a gazebo before. “I haven’t been here since . . .” She didn’t need to finish her sentence.

  “Me too.”

  She stepped out beyond the gazebo and sat down on the pasture. Jesse settled beside her, both of them looking out onto the neighboring ranch.

  “It was here, wasn’t it?” Evelyn threaded her fingers through the long grass, as if her touch could mark the spot. “We were here, seven years ago, making that promise. What were the words again?” She let out a bitter laugh. “No one can ever stop us from . . . oh, what was it? No one can stop us from . . .”

  “No one can stop us from loving one another.” The quote had never left his memory. “Then I promised to never stop writing to you.”

  “I promised to never give you up.” Evelyn brought her knees forward, her skirt draping over her legs. She smoothed out the cloth over her shins. “It seems funny, does it not? When we were young, there was no such thing as a broken promise. I could not even imagine why it would ever happen.”

  “We couldn’t predict the future.”

  “Of course not. We were so young. There’s no way to anticipate life and all the challenges it brings.”

  “The promises don’t have to be broken.” His voice was low. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them. The wind blew against Evelyn’s forehead, sending the few tendrils framing her face dancing in the wind. He brushed a lock of stray hair behind her ear.

  She winced. “You cannot do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Look at me like that.” Evelyn nibbled her lower lip. His a
ttention turned to her mouth. He cradled one hand behind her head, and her breathing started to come in quick intakes. “Touch me like that.”

  “Like this?” He pressed his lips against hers for what felt like the first time. She tasted like strawberries and honeysuckle and peppermints. He leaned forward, pinning her against the grass. Half of his mind expected her to push him off, to run away and back to John.

  But Evelyn crushed her own lips against his with equal passion. She arched her body against him, removing whatever little distance remained. Her hands roamed through his hair. She opened her mouth and pressed her tongue against his lips, and gave everything she had into the kiss when he opened his mouth.

  She rolled him over until he was pinned underneath her. When they drew away to finally gasp for breath, she’d already started to unbutton the length of his clean white shirt, or formerly clean at least. He had never cared that much about the shirt anyway. She chucked it next to them and leaned back against his body, undulating her narrow hips against his.

  He’d finally had a taste of Evelyn Lancaster, and now he couldn’t get enough of his fill.

  His pants became uncomfortably tight when she moaned against his kiss. He brought his mouth down away from her mouth, along her jawline, and down her collarbone. His lips grazed the crevice between her breasts, and she moaned again.

  Her hands roamed across his bare chest, tracing an outline of abdominal muscles. Every place she touched sent a shock through his chest. Her small fingers caressed the muscles of his arms, running up and down his biceps. Evelyn continued to arch against him. Her soft body above his own hard muscle drove him mad.

  She gasped as he massaged her breasts through the fabric of her dress, which only encouraged him to continue his ministrations.

  “You drive me crazy,” he murmured against the nape of her neck. He wished they could stay like this forever.

  “You drive me crazy, too . . .” She moaned, pressing her body against him. She felt so incredibly wonderful against him. “This is crazy . . .”

  Her body stiffened. Suddenly, she pulled away from Jesse. It was more like she literally pushed him away, sending his body falling back to the ground with a hard thud. Her head was shaking, and she began to back away.

  “This is crazy,” she repeated. “What am I doing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I am courted by John Cooper. Not you.” She squeezed her eyes shut tight, then flashed them open. An emotion he could only describe as confusion was written all across her face. “I need to leave.”

  “Evelyn, wait!” He picked up his shirt and started after her, but she spun around and pointed a finger at him.

  “Do not dare come any closer to me.” She shook her index finger at him, as if scolding a child. “The gazebo is not far from Breighton. I can walk.”

  He pulled his arms back into the sleeves of the shirt. “That’s ridiculous. I have the horses and buggy here.”

  “I am fine, I assure you.”

  Jesse buttoned his shirt. “Reckon it’d be faster if you just rode me.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “With me. Rode with me.” He cursed under his breath. “I meant ride with me.”

  She shook her head. “I said I’ll walk.” Evelyn’s voice was hard. Her arms were folded across her chest, as if denying him all visual access to her body as well. “Just go. I need some time alone to think.”

  “Evelyn—”

  “I said go!”

  There was no use in trying to argue with her. With a heavy heart, he sat back up on the buggy and started back to Breighton.

  He looked over his shoulder. Evelyn hadn’t started walking yet. She just stood there, standing in the middle of the gazebo, staring out at the rolling green pastures stretched before her. She’d always looked regal, with her chin held slightly up and a determined look in her eye.

  His fingers itched to stop the horses and turn back the buggy. He wanted to jump out and kiss her again, press her lithe body against the grass of the pasture until her lips agreed to stay with him.

  He groaned, running one hand through his hair while the other gripped the reins. Not that she would, if her “time to think” response was anything to go by. She was always trying to make sense of a situation. He had no doubt her mind was racing with the consequences of their kiss.

  He would have given anything to know what she was thinking.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The door to Loretta’s house was propped wide open. Evelyn found that odd, considering Loretta told her that she and Preston decided to stay in Harleigh for another week before coming back to Hamilton. Had Loretta decided to stay here after all?

  “Loretta? I just finished unpacking the last of your . . .” The voice at the top of the stairs trailed off. He walked down the steps one heavy thud of his boots at a time, his eyes studying the figure in the doorway.

  “Hello, Jesse.” She gulped. Images of their indiscretion the day before flooded her senses and threatened all common sense. Traitorous body. No, she wouldn’t let that happen again.

  “Hello there, Eve.”

  She pointed over her shoulder. “I saw Loretta’s door open, and I thought maybe your sister had returned early. You seem very busy, though. I think I will just be leaving now.”

  “Stay.”

  She turned her head at the sound of his voice. His face was an expressionless mask, but there was urgency in his tone.

  “I’m in no hurry. I just finished unpacking the last of the items Loretta told me to.” He reached the end of the steps and gestured to the parlor. “Stay for a while.”

  Against her better judgment, Evelyn walked into the parlor.

  “I have something to tell you.” His words came out slowly, almost hesitant. “Something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while.”

  Yes, definitely against her better judgment. She knew her cheeks were blushing that embarrassing shade of pink again as panic set in. “John Cooper has expressed interest in me.” He was the one who’d remained steadfast and cared for her. He’d written the letters, not Jesse.

  “You wouldn’t want to be with him anymore if I told you the truth.”

  “What truth?”

  “The truth is that I care for you, Eve Lancaster.”

  “Care for me? Since when? You and Annie looked cozy at Loretta’s wedding.” She spied his confused gaze and scoffed. The nerve. “Do not tell me you used her. You used my best friend to make me jealous?”

  “Annie? I don’t care for Annie any more than a friend.”

  “And that is how I thought you saw me.” Evelyn placed her hands on her hips. “That is why I agreed to allow John to court me.”

  “I don’t think you’re listening to me. I care for you.”

  “And? How long would it have taken to tell me this,” she snapped back, “if I had not struck up a relationship with John? When would you have finally told me you cared?”

  She watched his jaw clench. “I wasn’t willing to take the risk again—”

  “But I was!” Her fists itched to punch against his solid chest. She wanted nothing more than to take out all her frustration and anger at their situation on him. “I was willing to begin a relationship with you again.”

  “How was I to know?”

  Her jaw dropped. “I tried! I held your hand, I told you I missed you, I gave you signs!”

  “You gave me nothing.”

  “As if it matters anymore! It is too late. You have already given Annie such false hope and I have . . . John just inspired jealousy within you.” Her heart ached even as she reasoned out Jesse’s territorial behavior. It was common among old flames, a sudden spark of envy over what was once his. It didn’t mean anything. “You were not going to admit you cared for me otherwise.”

  “I rescued you from a burning barn!” He paced back and forth in front of her, then stopped. “What else could you want?”

  “I want communication. I want you to finally tell me how you feel about me wi
thout having to do so because another man takes interest.” She bit her bottom lip. “I am forever grateful that you saved my life in that barn. But that action alone could not have allowed me to assume you loved me.”

  “I do. I love you, Evelyn Lancaster.”

  “Why now?” She swallowed hard. If only he’d told her earlier.

  “You’re the one I’ve always cared for, Eve. But if Cooper’s the one you want, then go. Go back to him. He doesn’t love you, you know. He’s a powerful rich fella, and you’re a powerful rich girl.”

  “Since when has his being rich become a negative?”

  “He only cares about you for your ranch and social standing. You can see it in the way he treats you.”

  Evelyn felt her blood boil as anger clouded her vision in an instant. A strangled sound of frustration escaped her throat. “How dare you! Can a man only love me because of my social standing? He sincerely cares for me, Jesse. I know he does.”

  “No one else loves you like I do.”

  “You pulled away from me every time I tried to talk to you!” She wiped away the tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes. A dull ache throbbed in her chest, the tempo matching the hurt beating in her heart. “How was I supposed to have any idea how you felt about me?”

  “You think I didn’t want to?” He seethed. Evelyn drew back. She’d never seen him so impassioned before. “What was I supposed to do while you were entertaining John—kick up a row? I was terrified, Eve. I was scared to death of this happening.”

  “What? What is this?”

  “Putting my heart on my sleeve, telling you how I feel.” He shook his head. “What’s the point? You already chose that John fella anyway.”

  “Now don’t go pinning this on me! You were so offish all the time. You never told me you cared for me.” Her fists clenched around her dress, wrinkling the cotton pleats.

  “I did! I told you, didn’t I?” Jesse ran a hand through his hair, yanking slightly on the ends as he finished each sentence. “I said I missed when you were mine.”