Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1)

by Bloom, Nikole

  “See I told you it wasn't safe for me to date,” I reply in jest. Except given the current situation, it really may not be safe for me to date.

  “Ok, so forgetting all of this insanity, you have to tell me,” Gabe sighs with a dreamlike sparkle in his eye. “Is Austin as perfectly dreamy as I imagine him to be?”

  Gabe is not particular when it comes to who he dates, men or women, as long as they are hot, in his eyes, he is up for it. I can't help smiling at his question because hell yes Austin is the perfect dream.

  Too bad for me, he may have to remain a dream. “Yeah, Gabe he is amazing,” and I love him so much.

  Right on cue, as if his ears were ringing, Austin calls. I am hesitant to answer the phone not wanting to alert him to the situation or make him worry about anything else unless I have to. However, I really just want to hear his voice so I answer, “Hey you how's Texas?” I try to sound as carefree as I was only a few hours ago when I dropped him off.

  “Well for starters, you aren't here so it sucks! Also, it is hot as hell.”

  I laugh, he really sounds irritated. “So, are you at your mom's house yet?”

  “No, I just picked up my rental car and I am heading to the hotel. How are you gorgeous? I miss you already.”

  With his last sentence my heart melts and I can feel the guilt rising, “I am good just sitting at work with Gabe.” My voice nearly cracked, and I had to cough to cover it.

  “Ry, are you ok? You don't sound right.” I can hear the worry in his voice.

  Summoning all of my composure, “Yeah baby, I'm just tired that's all. I miss you too.” And, I do miss him. I really wish I could just hide in his arms and forget everything else.

  Just then, James walks in with two officers flanking him, “Miss Ash, this is Detective Rhodes and Detective Ruzek.”

  Forgetting I am still on the phone, I reach out and introduce Gabe and myself to them both before realizing what Austin is hearing. I excuse myself for a moment to end the call with Austin.

  “Hey Aus, I am going to have to call you back.”

  “Rylee Ash, what is going on? Why are there detectives at your office?”

  “Austin, honey, it is a long story. Let me deal with them and then I will call you back and explain, ok?”

  “Fine, but I am not happy you are obviously hiding something from me.” He sighs, “Dammit Rylee, I love you so much, are you sure you are ok.”

  “I'm alright Aus; I will call you in a bit. I love you.”

  With that, we hung up, and I headed back over to the detectives ready to get to the bottom of this mess. I will be damned if I let anyone take Austin away from me. Austin coming into my life replaced the darkness with light and I cannot go back to my lonely existence.

  Detective Rhodes is an average guy with brown hair and brown eyes. He seems to be the senior partner as he takes the lead while questioning James and Gabe. It makes sense that he is the more experienced detective since he is obviously at least ten years older than his partner.

  Ruzek looks to be in his late twenties, with short sandy blonde hair, dark green eyes, and what I can only imagine is a body made of steel. Don't get me wrong I only have eyes for Austin, but I would have to be dead not to notice the beauty of the male form in front of me.

  Approaching the four men, I notice a look of concern on Gabe's face as he looks towards me and then what can only be described as looks of pity from the other three men. This both infuriates me and gives me concern. I do not like to be pitied, especially by strangers.

  Ruzek addresses me as I make my way over, “Miss Ash, when you are ready we would like to speak to you privately.”

  I nod my head in acknowledgement just as Gabe pulls me into a hug. “Take a deep breath Ry, it's not pretty. Are you sure you don't want me to call J?”

  This comforting side of Gabe gives me pause because we in no way have that type of relationship. I decide to go ahead and muster through this on my own, “No thank you Gabe, I will call J later this afternoon.”

  I still do not feel the need to alert anyone on what could be harmless antics. Well, I did feel that way until I followed Detectives Ruzek and Rhodes into my office.

  Chapter 34

  It was obvious there was more to the break-in than I had hoped. The detectives wore stoic looks and directed me to sit on the sofa in my office. I noticed that there were now several photos laid out on the top of my desk. I try to remain calm as they pull my guest chairs over to face me.

  Rhodes began the questioning, “Miss Ash, let's start with the most obvious question. Do you have any idea who would threaten you in this manner?”

  I answer with the obligatory, “No sir.”

  My hands are trembling, and I suspect they are investigating me as time wears on and the questions became more personal. They offer to bring in a female detective, but I don't see how that will change the invasive nature of the questions. Once we cover the highlights of my entire life history they move on to questions about Austin. “How long have we been dating? Who knows we are dating? Where is Austin? Is he aware of the threats?” I answer each question with complete honesty.

  Once they are satisfied with my answers concerning Austin and I’s relationship, they pull another photo from the desk. Detective Rhodes addresses me before unveiling the photo, “Miss Ash, is there anything else we should know? Do you have any other boyfriends or anything of the like? Now is the time to give us the full story.”

  My irritation is growing, but I answer indicating there are no other men in my personal life. It pisses me off they are questioning my honesty. Rhodes shakes his head with obvious disappointment before showing me the photo. My hands fly to my mouth and I make a sound of utter astonishment when I find myself looking at a photo of J. The red slash drawn across his neck causes my heart to plummet. The note makes me realize this is not simple coincidence. The note reads:

  No one is safe if you choose him over me.

  Tears are now sliding down my cheeks as the gravity of the situation takes hold. I cover my face with my hands to hide my breakdown. Amidst my shock I hear Rhodes speak, “So I take it you are acquainted this man, Miss Ash? Would you care to explain the nature of your relationship with him?” His accusatory tone stops my freefall into self-pity.

  With my face still tear streaked I go rigid with anger. I raise my head and stare into Detective Rhodes eyes conveying my rage. “Of course I know him that is my brother, Jeremy. He is the only family I’ve got,” I spit out in a hateful tone.

  My answer obviously catches them by surprise. They trade looks and seem to require a moment to redirect their interrogation. I interrupt, “To be honest here detectives, I do not appreciate the way you are treating me. I have been nothing but up front and honest. If you have a problem with me or the other people concerned here feel free to get the fuck out and I will find someone else who takes this is as seriously as I do.”

  Detectives Rhodes and Ruzek sit there in disbelief after my outburst, but I don’t care. I am sick of all this shit. I did not put myself in this situation. This situation is being thrust upon me against my will and they can either help or get out of the way. The last thing I need is to be bullied by the cops who are supposed to help.

  I walk to the door ready to open and leave it when Ruzek pipes up, “Miss Ash we would like to ask you a few more questions if you don't mind.”

  I yank open my door without turning to acknowledge him. Gabe is sitting on the sofa in front of the office staring blankly at a magazine until he hears my labored breathing. He glances up and asks, “What's up Ry? Are you ok?”

  I take a deep calming breath, even though I know I will not calm down anytime soon. I force a smile in Gabe’s direction before asking, “Can you please call J and tell him I need him here yesterday. Don't explain the whole situation; I think that would be best coming from me. Just get him here as soon as possible. Please.”

  He gives me a consoling look, “Absolutely Ry, I will call him now.” I smile and thank him bef
ore returning to the detectives.

  Detective Rhodes appears a little less smug and leaves the rest of the questioning to Ruzek who apologizes for their misplaced ideas. Once Ruzek takes over, I find myself more at ease sharing the details that might be pertinent to the case. I show him the text messages, let him listen to the voicemails, tell him about the photographer, and even give him a more complete history on my relationship with Austin. Then the part I’ve been dreading most came, they want to speak with Austin.

  I explain to Ruzek that I have not yet informed Austin of any of this, chalking most of it up to strange coincidence. He agrees to let me call him first and explain the finer details of the situation. Then Austin can decide whether to answer over the phone or to come home. They strongly advise me to encourage him to stay in Texas until they could get a handle on this case. I agree and plop back down on the couch to make the call that has my stomach in knots.

  Chapter 35

  My clammy hands are shaking with nervous anticipation. My stomach is churning circles and my head is pounding. I had hoped I would never have to explain all the weird instances to Austin, but here we are. His life, Jeremy's life, and hell maybe even my life could be in danger simply because I chose to date again. I figured dating would be difficult after the failed engagement to Ryan and my truckload of emotional baggage, but I certainly never anticipated this disaster. Who would?

  Sitting here staring at a photo of Austin and I on my phone is not helping increase my bravery. He will be upset with me for not telling him about all of this from the beginning, just as J will. But, they will also be worried about me. But, in this case, it seems the concern should be directed towards them. Just as I start to dial Austin, Detective Rhodes pokes his head around the door, “Miss Ash, would you mind if we let the techs come in and take inventory of the evidence?”

  Allowing the techs to do their job, I lock myself in our cubicle of a kitchen needing privacy to make my call. Instead of sitting down at the bistro style table, I instead pace back and forth between the depressing white walls. There is a light knock on the door. “Yeah,” I answer thankful for another distraction.

  Gabe slides into the room. “I just want to tell you J is on his way. His plane took off a few minutes ago. I will pick him up in a little over an hour.”

  I smile partly in relief, I am so glad J will be here soon, this is all a bit overwhelming. “Thank you Gabe, after you get J please take the rest of the day off. I will check in with you later about further plans for the week.”

  Gabe leaves me alone to phone Austin. I take a deep breath and hit call on the screen. Austin's smiling avatar pops up giving me a moment's peace before he answers, “Ry, how are you baby?” The deep timber of his voice claws at my heart telling me I have to spit this out as quickly as possible before I lose my nerve.

  “I am hanging on Austin, how are you? Do you have a few minutes preferably alone?” My tone is flat and unemotional as I fight for the words to explain all of this. How do you tell someone their life may be in danger because they had the misfortune of meeting you?

  “Yeah Ry, I am in my hotel room. I thought it best to wait here until after I talked to you. Is everything ok? Do I need to come back? I will board the next plane Rylee, just say the word.”

  My heart melts because I know he would come back in a second for me, but instead I will have to convince him to stay away, possibly permanently.

  “No, Austin, I am okay and J will be here shortly. I need you to listen to me Aus, no matter what I tell you, you have to promise me you will stay in Houston like you planned this week. Ok?”

  He takes a take a deep breath. “Ry, you are scaring the shit out of me. I'm not sure I can honestly promise you that. I would do anything for you, but not if it hurts you in any way.”

  “Austin, please promise me you will listen to me and the detectives out before you decide.”

  With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly agrees, so I proceed to tell him the story from the beginning.

  I explain the mysterious texts that I brushed off, the strange voicemails, remind him of the strange photographer that I was sure followed me, and lead up to the bombshell of today. He remained completely quiet through the entire story, so I paused, “Aus are you still with me.”

  It is silent for a few more moments and my heart starts racing as my nerves fray further. It's simple he is too good to be true, and this is the end. I hid this from him, in an effort to protect him, but nonetheless he always made a point to be honest with me. I am about to apologize when he finally finds his voice.

  “Jesus Ry, why the fuck didn’t you tell me? Why don’t you trust me? You let me make light of the photographer, you should have told me.” I can hear the hurt in his voice and it breaks my heart that I am yet again the one who is hurting him.

  “Austin, I am so sorry. I really didn’t think too much of it until this morning. I just wanted….” I trail off not sure how to explain.

  He interjects with a hint of anger, “Wanted what Ry, what is it you want? Do you even know?”

  Tears begin flowing freely down my flushed cheeks, he knows I love him, but he doesn’t realize that I have wanted him all along. I am afraid to admit it to him, afraid he will realize all the back and forth emotional turmoil could have been avoided if I were stronger.

  With a small voice, “You Austin, all I want is you. It has been you from the day we met. I am so sorry Austin, you will never understand.” Sobs begin to rack me and I fight to pull it together, I have to. I still need to tell him the worst part.

  We sit on the phone silently for several moments. I am grateful for that because it gives me time to pull myself together and summon the courage to explain the rest. He shocks me when he finally breaks the uncomfortable silence, “Rylee, my sweet Rylee. Dammit, you are going to be my undoing. I am pissed you didn’t tell me, but I love you Ry. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me the rest, I imagine the cops aren’t there over a few texts.”

  He doesn't know how right he is, I will likely be his undoing in the worst possible way. I decide right then, that whatever the cost, I will protect him. I will not let him become a victim in this mess. I will walk away brokenhearted if that’s what it takes. Yes, I love him enough to let him go if I must.

  “I love you too Austin, so much. The rest of this story is where things get scary.”

  I proceed to tell him about the mysterious man from this morning, his veiled threat, the unsightly photographs, and the explicit threats scrawled on them. My entire body is shaking as I finish and wait on a response.

  No response comes; I imagine he is processing the entire mess, much like me when a knock sounds at my door. Gabe pokes his head in, “Are you ok?” I nod. “Ok, well I am going to go pick up J. We should be back in about an hour.”

  Relief floods me knowing J will be here soon, and I almost forget to thank Gabe. “Thank you Gabe, I am so sorry you are stuck in the middle of this.”

  He gives me a genuine smile. “I'm glad I'm here. Holler if you need anything. The lunch you ordered is on my desk.”

  Lunch, I haven’t even thought about lunch, let alone ordered any. “Gabe who delivered lunch, I didn’t order anything,” I ask suspiciously.

  Gabe’s face pales as he considers the implications. “If you didn't order it then... Oh shit Ry. It was one of the usual delivery guys, they brought enough for everyone,” he says with haste. My insides begin churning as I run out to the front only to find two large brown paper sacks with my name written across them.

  Ruzek is crossing the room towards me. “Thank you for lunch that was very thoughtful.”

  He reaches out for one of the bags and I slap his hand away. “No, don’t. I am sorry. I didn’t order this.”

  His face goes rigid. “You are sure you didn’t order this?”

  I look him square in the eyes, “NO.”

  He yells to his partner and grabs me by the wrist pulling me towards the exit of our office. “Everyone out NOW,” he screams. “James alert the r
est of your team and clear the building.”

  Twenty minutes later, we were standing on the sidewalk across the street when the bomb squad shows up. There are now first responder vehicles everywhere and they have blocked off all entrances to the building and the street. I watch in disbelief through the flashing red and blue lights as the men enter the building in full protective gear. When did my life become a scene straight out of Hollywood?

  I am lost in my thoughts trying to comprehend the enormity of the situation unfolding in front of me when my phone buzzes in my hand. I hadn’t realized I was still holding it. Looking at the screen it comes as no surprise that Austin is on the other end. Wait, when did we end the last call? “Austin,” is all I can manage to say with a breathless whisper.

  “Rylee, where are you? What the hell is going on? I couldn’t get a hold of you after we were disconnected.” He pauses waiting for an answer.

  I am at a loss to describe the emotion coursing through me and the scene playing out in front of me. “Austin, oh my god Austin, I am so sorry,” is all I can get out before I feel myself succumbing to the panic ravaging my body. My vision begins to blur as my knees go weak. I hear Austin yelling my name through the phone, but I can't answer. I need to lie down.

  I’m falling backwards but find a gentle landing in a pair of strong hands. “Miss Ash. Rylee. Are you ok? Talk to me Rylee.” I recognize the voice, but can't make out the face through the haze that clouds my vision. Everything goes black.

  The next thing I remember is lying down and listening to someone talking on the phone. “I know man. Yeah, I will let you know. She is ok. Paramedics said she is in shock.”

  Silence. He continues, “Hell no. I didn’t have a clue about any of this shit. Did you?” Silence. “No, stay put until I can talk to the detectives.”