Switched

by Аманда Хокинг

  “How did your mother try to kill you?” Finn asked directly.

  It startled me a little. I had only very vaguely told him what happened, and we hadn’t talked about it since. It surprised me that he was even talking about it now, since he very rarely seemed to want to talk about my past.

  “It was my birthday, and I was being my usual bratty self. I was angry because she’d gotten me a chocolate cake, and I hated it,” I explained. “We were in the kitchen, and she snapped. She started chasing after me with this giant knife. She called me a monster, and then she tried to stab me but she just managed to cut my stomach pretty badly. Then my brother Matt rushed in and tackled her, saving my life.”

  “She cut open your stomach?” Finn furrowed his brow with concern.

  “Yeah.” Randomly, I pulled up my shirt, revealing the scar that stretched across it. Immediately after I’d done it, I regretted it. Lying on the floor and flashing Finn the fattest part of my body did not sound like a good idea.

  Finn crouched on the ground next to me, and tentatively, his fingertips traced along the mark etched on my belly. My skin quivered underneath his touch, and this nervous warmth spread through me. He just stared intently at it, then laid his hand flat on my belly, covering the scar. His skin felt hot and smooth, and inside, my stomach trembled with butterflies.

  He blinked, and seeming to realize what he was doing, he pulled his hand back and got to his feet. Quickly, I pulled my shirt back down, and I didn’t even feel that comfortable laying down anymore. I sat up and fixed my bun. It had gotten pushed all over when I laid back on it, so I had to take it out and redo it.

  “Matt saved your life?” Finn asked, filling that semi-awkward silence that had shrouded us. He still had a very contemplative look on his face, and I wished I knew what he was thinking.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, and I got to my feet. “Matt always protected me, ever since I could remember.”

  “Hmm.” Finn looked thoughtfully at me. “You bonded so much more with your host family than the changelings normally do.”

  “‘Host family?’” I grimaced. “You make me sound like a parasite.”

  Then I realized that I probably was. They had dropped me off with them so I would use their resources, their money, their opportunities, and come back here with them. That’s exactly what a parasite did.

  “You’re not a parasite,” Finn said. “They loved you, and you genuinely loved them in return. It is unusual, but that it is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing. Maybe it’s given you a compassion that the Trylle leaders have been lacking for a very long time.”

  “I don’t think I’m very compassionate,” I shook my head.

  “You came to my aid last night,” Finn reminded me. “You shouldn’t have done that. I can handle myself, and Willa really means no harm. Defending me will only weaken you. But what you did, you did for the right reasons. You stood up for what you thought was right. It’s a wonderful quality.”

  “If that’s not a mixed message, then I don’t know what is,” I shied away from his compliment. “I shouldn’t do that, but I should?”

  “You shouldn’t defend me,” Finn clarified. “But you should defend those who can’t do it for themselves. I saw how badly it was bothering you when Willa was harassing Rhiannon, and I see how it gets to you the way Elora talks to people. Elora thinks the only way to command respect is to command fear, but I have a feeling that you will have an entirely different way of ruling.”

  “And how will I rule?” I arched my eyebrow at him.

  “That is for you to decide,” Finn said simply.

  He finished up our lesson after that, saying I needed to rest up for tomorrow. The day had exhausted me, and I was eager to curl up in my blankets and sleep until Sunday, straight through the ball and all the angst that accompanied it. Sleep didn’t come easy, though. I found myself tossing and turning, thinking about the way it felt dancing with Finn and his hand resting warmly on my stomach. But I would always end up thinking of Matt and Maggie, and how much I still missed them.

  I woke up startling early that morning. Actually, I’d been waking up all night long, and at six, I finally just gave into it. I got up with the intention of sneaking downstairs to grab a bite to eat, but when I hit the top of the stairs, Rhys came barreling up them to meet me, chomping on a bagel.

  “Hey, what are you doing up?” Rhys grinned, swallowing down his bite.

  “Couldn’t sleep,” I shrugged. “You?”

  “Same. I have to get up for school soon anyway.” He pushed his sandy hair out of his eyes and leaned back against the stair railing. “Are you worrying about this Saturday?”

  “Kind of,” I admitted.

  “It is pretty intense,” Rhys said, his eyes wide. I nodded noncommittally. “Is something else bothering you? You look pretty… upset, I guess.”

  “No.” I shook my head and sighed, then sat down on the top step. I didn’t feel much standing anymore, and to be honest, I wanted to cry. “I was just thinking about my brother.”

  “Your brother?” Something flashed across Rhys’s face, and slowly, he sat down next to me. He seemed almost breathless, and at first I didn’t understand, then it dawned on me.

  I thought about how weird this must be for Rhys. His whole life he had known that this wasn’t his real family, and it wasn’t even the same as being adopted. It wasn’t like his family had given him up. He had been stolen, and not by a family that had wanted him. They had just wanted me to have his life.

  “Yeah. I mean… your brother actually,” I corrected myself, and that felt painful saying it. Matt would always be my brother, no matter what our genetics claimed.

  “What’s his name?” Rhys asked quietly.

  “Matt. He’s pretty much the nicest guy in the whole world,” I said with tears burning my eyes.

  “Matt?” Rhys repeated, in an awed tone.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “He’s the bravest guy ever. He would do anything to protect the people he cares about, and he’s completely selfless. He always puts everybody first. And he’s really, really strong. He’s…” I swallowed and decided that I couldn’t talk about him anymore. I shook my head and looked away.

  “What about my mom and dad?” Rhys pressed, and I didn’t know how to answer that.

  “Dad died when I was five,” I said carefully. “Mom took it pretty hard, and um… she’s been in the hospital ever since. For psychiatric problems. Matt and my dad’s sister, Maggie, they raised me.”

  “Oh.” His face contorted with concern, and I suddenly hated Mom even more. I knew that she had done everything because she loved him, but this is what I was left with telling him. And she’d never be able to have a life with him because she’d always be locked up. All she had done was hurt him and me and Matt and everyone.

  “I’m sorry.” I placed my hand gently on his, to comfort him. “It’s hard to explain how I know it, but your mom really loved you. She really wanted you.

  And I think she always hated me because she knew I wasn’t you.”

  “Really?” There was something hopeful and sad in his eyes when he looked at me.

  “Yeah. It kind of sucked for me, actually,” I smiled wanly at him, and he laughed.

  “Sorry about that,” Rhys smiled back at me. “I guess I’m too hard to forget.”

  “Yeah, I guess you are,” I agreed. Rhys moved his hand so it was actually holding mine, and even though his mood seemed to brighten, I didn’t take it from him.

  “So what about this Maggie? What’s she like?” Rhys asked.

  “She’s pretty cool. A little overly attentive sometimes, but cool,” I said.

  “She’s incredibly loving and patient, and she put up with a lot of crap from me.

  They both did, really.” I thought about how strange this all was, that they weren’t my family anymore. “This’s so weird. They’re your brother and your aunt.”

  “No, I understand. They’re your family, too,” Rhys insisted. “The
y loved you and raised you. That’s what family is, right?” That was the exact thing I had needed someone to say to me for so long, and I squeezed his hand gratefully. I still loved them and always would, and I just wanted that to be okay.

  “Wendy!” Finn apparently had just woken up and was on his way to check on me when he spotted me sitting on the steps. Instinctively, I pulled my hand back, and Rhys stood up. “What are you doing?”

  “I just woke up. We were just talking.” I looked up at Rhys, who nodded in agreement, but Finn glared at us both. I felt like we’d been caught robbing a bank or having sex by the way Finn looked at us.

  “I suggest you get ready for school,” Finn commanded icily.

  “Yeah, that what I was doing anyway,” Rhys said somewhat defensively, then smiled down at me. “I’ll see you later, Wendy.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I smiled back at him.

  “What are you doing?” Finn hissed, glowering down at me.

  “I already told you!” I insisted and stood up. He was still intimidating, but we were closer to the same height now, so I felt a bit better. “We were just talking!”

  “About what?” Finn pressed.

  “My family,” I shrugged. “What does it matter?”

  “You cannot talk to him about your family,” Finn said firmly.

  “Mänsklig cannot know where they come from. If they did, they would be tempted to track down their families, and that would completely ruin our entire society. Do you understand that?”

  “I didn’t really tell him anything!” I said defensively, but I felt stupid that that hadn’t occurred to me. “I missed them, and I just said stuff about how neat Matt was. I didn’t tell him their last name or where they lived or anything like that.”

  “You have to be more careful, Wendy,” Finn persisted.

  “Sorry! I didn’t know!” I didn’t like the way he was glaring at me, so I turned and started walking down the hall toward my room.

  “Wait.” Finn grabbed my arm gently so I would stop and look at him.

  He took a step closer to me so he was right in front of me, but I was trying to be mad at him, so I refused to look at him. I could still feel his eyes on me and the heat from his body, and it did little to help me maintain my anger.

  “What?” I asked curtly.

  “I saw you holding his hand,” Finn lowered his voice.

  “So?” I said. “Is that a crime?”

  “No, but… you can’t do that,” Finn explained emphatically. “You cannot get involved with a mänsklig.”

  “Whatever.” I pulled my arm from his grip, irritated that the only thing he ever thought about was the job. “You’re just jealous.”

  “I am not jealous,” Finn said defensively and took a step back from me. “I am watching out for your well-being. You don’t understand how dangerous it would be to get involved with him.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I muttered and started walking back to my room. “I don’t understand anything.”

  “That’s not what I said,” Finn followed after me.

  “But it’s true, isn’t it?” I countered. “I don’t know anything.”

  “Wendy!” Finn snapped, and grudgingly, I turned back to look at him.

  “If you don’t understand things, it’s because I didn’t explain them well enough.” He swallowed hard and looked down at the ground, his dark eyelashes falling on his cheeks. There was something more that he wanted to say to me, so I crossed my arms, waiting. “But you were right.” He struggled with what he was saying, and I watched him carefully. “I was jealous.”

  “What?” My jaw literally fell open and my eyes widened with surprise.

  “That does not affect the job I have to do, nor does it change the fact that you absolutely cannot become involved with a mänsklig,” Finn said firmly, still looking at the ground instead of at me. “Now go get ready. We have another long day ahead of us.” He turned around and started to walk away.

  “Wait, Finn!” I called after him, and he paused, half looking back at me.

  “The matter is not open for discussion,” Finn replied coolly. “I promised I would never lie to you, so I didn’t.”

  I stood in front of my bedroom door, reeling from his confession. For the first time, he had really admitted that at least some of his feelings for me had nothing to do with the job at hand. Yet somehow, I was supposed to forget all that and go about like everything was normal.

  18

  With the party only twenty-four hours away, Elora felt the need to check on my progress, not that I blamed her. Her plan was a dress rehearsal through dinner, testing my ability to converse and eat, apparently. She didn’t want a massive audience to witness my possible failure, so she just invited Garrett, Willa, and Rhiannon over to join her, Finn, Rhys, and me. It was the biggest group she could assemble without risk of embarrassment. Since I had already met with these people, I didn’t feel all that nervous, even though Elora informed me before hand that I needed to treat this the same way I would tomorrow night.

  Everyone had clearly been instructed the same thing because they all appeared far more regal than normal. Even Rhys had dressed in a blazer, and he looked rather handsome. As usual, Finn was unnecessarily attractive, and thanks to his random confession of jealousy, I wasn’t entirely sure how to act around him. He had come into my room before dinner to make sure that I was getting ready, but I couldn’t help but feel that he was purposefully avoiding looking at me.

  “Who will I be sitting by tomorrow?” I asked between careful sips of wine Elora instructed us where to sit, with at one end of the table, and I at the other. Rhys and Finn flanked either side of me, and Rhiannon and Will filled in the empty places..

  “Between Tove Kroner and I,” Elora answered, narrowing her eyes at the way I was drinking my wine. “Hold the glass by the stem.”

  “Sorry.” I thought I had been, but I moved my fingers, hoping I was holding it more correctly.

  “A Princess never apologizes,” Elora corrected me.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, then realized what I did and shook my head.

  “That was an accident. It won’t happen again.”

  “Don’t shake your head; it’s not ladylike,” Elora chastised me. “A Princess doesn’t make promises, either. She might not be able to keep them, and she doesn’t want them held against her.”

  “I wasn’t really making a promise,” I pointed out, and Elora narrowed her eyes more severely.

  “A Princess is never contrary,” Elora said coolly.

  “I’ve only been a Princess for like two weeks. Can’t you give me a little break?” I was growing frustrated by all the Princess talk. Nearly every sentence she’d said to me in the past two days had started with “a Princess” and it was followed by things that a Princess never or always did.

  “You’ve been a Princess your entire life. It’s in your blood,” Elora said firmly, sitting up even straighter in her chair, trying to loom over me. “You should know how to behave.”

  “I am working on it,” I grumbled.

  “Speak up. Use a clear strong voice no matter what it is you’re saying,” Elora snapped. “And you don’t have time to work on it. Your party is tomorrow. You must be ready now.”

  I wanted to snap something back at her, but both Rhys and Finn were giving me warning stares to keep my mouth shut. Rhiannon stared nervously at her plate, and Garrett just went about munching his food politely, while Willa took a long drink of her wine.

  “I understand,” I exhaled deeply and took another drink of my wine.

  I’m not sure if I held the glass right this time, but Elora didn’t say anything.

  “So, I got your picture of the dress,” Willa smiled at me. “It was really stunning. I’m a little jealous, actually. You only get to be the belle of the ball once, and you definitely will be tomorrow. You’re going to look amazing.” She was coming to my aid, changing the subject from things I was doing wrong to compliments about me. Even if she was a bitch to Finn and R
hiannon, I just couldn’t bring myself to hate her.

  “Thank you,” I smiled gratefully back at her.

  I had my final fitting earlier in the day, and since Willa had requested it the other night at dinner, I sent her a picture. It had actually been Finn’s idea, and he had used his camera phone. I felt very awkward and not at all pretty posing for it, and he never reassured me that I looked good in the dress. It felt too fancy for me, and I would’ve liked a little boost just then. But Finn had just snapped the picture, and that had been the end of that.

  “Have you seen the dress?” Willa turned to Elora, who nibbled primly at a piece of broccoli.

  “No. I trust Frederique’s designs, and Finn has final approval,” Elora answered absently.

  “I’m going to insist on being involved in the process when my daughter gets her gown,” Willa offered thoughtfully. Elora bristled imperceptibly at that, but Willa didn’t notice. “But I’ve always loved dresses and fashion. I could spend my whole life at a ball.” She looked wistful for a moment, than smiled at me again. “That’s why it’s so great that you’re here.

  You’re going to have such a monumental ball.”

  “Thank you,” I repeated, unsure of how else to respond.

  “You had a lovely party yourself,” Garrett interjected, feeling slightly defensive about the party he had thrown for his daughter. “Your dress was fantastic.”

  “I know,” Willa smiled immodestly. “It was pretty great.” Finn made a soft noise in his throat, and both Elora and Willa glared at him, but neither of them said anything.

  “My apologies. Something caught in my throat,” Finn explained, taking a sip of his wine.

  “Hmm,” Elora murmured disapprovingly, then cast her stare back at me. “Oh, that reminds me. I have been too busy this week to ask you. What were your plans for your name?”

  “My name?” I asked, raising any eyebrow.

  “Yes. At the christening ceremony.” She looked at me for a moment, then looked sternly at Finn. “Didn’t Finn tell you about it?”