Switched

by Аманда Хокинг

  “Yes, but isn’t that name already decided?” I was definitely confused.

  “I mean, Dahl is family name, isn’t it?”

  “Not the surname,” Elora clarified, annoyed. “Dahl is your name. I meant your first name.”

  “I don’t understand.” I furrowed my brow and tried to read her stony expression. “My name is Wendy.”

  “That isn’t a name for a Princess,” Elora scoffed. “Everyone changes their names. Willa used to be called something different. What was it, dear?”

  “Nikki,” Willa said. “I took the name Willa, after my mother.” Garrett smiled at that, and Elora tensed up slightly, but quickly tried to erase it. Her plan seemed to push all her tension in my direction.

  “So what is it? What name would you like?” Elora pressed.

  “I… I don’t know,” I stumbled.

  Irrationally, my heart had started pounding my chest. I didn’t want to change my name, not at all. When Finn had told me that about the christening ceremony, I had assumed it would only be my last name, and while I wasn’t that thrilled about that, I didn’t care that much. Eventually, I would probably get married and change my name anyway, so I wasn’t terribly hung up on that. But Wendy, that was my name. I turned to Finn for help, but Elora noticed and snapped my attention back to her.

  “If you need ideas, I have some.” Elora had a clipped tone to her voice, and she was cutting her food with an irritated fervor. “Ella, after my mother. I had a sister, Sybilla. Those name are both lovely. One of our longest running queens was Lovisa, and I’ve always thought highly of that name. If you don’t like any of those, you can go through the history books and see if you find anything.”

  “It’s not that I don’t like any of those,” I explained carefully. Although, really, I thought Sybilla was quite terrible. “I like my name. I don’t know why I have to change it.”

  “Wendy is a ridiculous name,” Elora waved off the idea. “It’s entirely improper for a Princess.”

  “Why?” I persisted, and Elora glared up at me.

  I flat out refused to change my name, no matter what Elora said. It’s not that I thought Wendy was a particularly fabulous name, but Matt had given it to me. He was the only one that had ever wanted me, and I wasn’t going to get rid of the only thing that I had left of him.

  “It is the name of a mänsklig,” Elora said through gritted teeth. “And I have had enough of this. You will find a name to suit a Princess, or I will choose one for you. Is that clear?”

  “If I am a Princess, then why can’t I decide what is proper?” I forced my voice to stay even and clear, trying not to let it shake with anger and frustration. “Isn’t that part of the glory of being a Princess, of ruling a kingdom? Is that I have some say in the rules? And if I want my name to be Wendy, why is that so wrong?”

  “No Princess has ever kept her human name, and no one ever will.”

  Her dark eyes glared severely at me, but I matched it firmly. “My daughter, the Princess, will not carry the name of a mänks.” There was a bitter edge dripping from the word “mänks,” and I saw Rhys’ jaw tense. I knew what it was like to grow up with a mother that hated me, but I had never been required to sit quietly why she openly made derogatory remarks about me. My heart went out to him, and I had to struggle even harder to keep from shouting at Elora.

  “I will not change my name,” I insisted. Everyone had taken to looking down at their plates while Elora and I stared down each other. This dinner had to be considered an epic failure.

  “This is not the proper place to have this discussion,” Elora said icily.

  She rubbed her temple, then sighed. “It’s no matter. There isn’t a discussion to be had. Your name will be changed, and clearly, I will be picking for you..”

  “That’s not fair!” Tears welled up in my eyes, and I had started to whine. “I am the Princess and it’s what I want! You said I didn’t have to answer to anybody!”

  “Anybody but me,” Elora clarified calmly.

  “With all due respect,” Finn interrupted our argument, startling everyone into looking at him. Elora pursed her lips tightly, but her eyes widened speculatively. His voice was emotionless and smooth, but the fact that he spoke up at all meant that he had to be upset. “If it is as the Princess wishes, then perhaps it’s as it should be. Her wishes are going to be the highest order of the land, and this is such a simple one that I can’t imagine anyone would find offense with it.”

  “Perhaps,” Elora forced a thin smile at him, giving him a hard look, but he stared back at her, his eyes meeting hers unabashedly. “But my wishes are still the highest order, and until that has changed, my word will remain final.”

  Her smile deepened, growing even more menacing. “With all due respect, tracker, perhaps you care too much for her wishes, and too little for her duties.”

  His expression faltered momentarily, but he quickly met her eyes again. “Was it not your duty to inform her of the specifics of the christening and have her completely ready for tomorrow?”

  “It was,” Finn replied without any trace of shame.

  “It seems you may have failed at your duties, as well,” Elora surmised.

  “I’m beginning to question how exactly you’ve been filling your time with the Princess. Has any of it been spent on training?”

  Suddenly, Rhys knocked over a glass of wine. The glass shattered and liquid splattered everywhere. Everyone had been too busy staring at Elora and Finn, but I had seen him out of the corner of my eye. Rhys had done it on purpose, and as soon as the glass went over, the attention was refocused. He started apologizing and rushing about to clean it up, but Elora had stopped glaring at Finn, and he no longer had to defend himself. Rhys had come to his rescue, and I couldn’t be more relieved.

  After the mess was cleaned up, Willa, who had never been that fond of Rhys, suddenly began chatting incessantly with him, and he eagerly reciprocated. It was clear they were talking just so that Elora and Finn couldn’t.

  Elora still managed to squeeze in a few biting comments towards me, such as

  “really, Princess, you must know how to use a fork.” But as soon as she had finished her sentence, Willa would pipe up with a funny story about this girl she knew or this movie she saw or this place she went. It was endless, and in general, we were all grateful.

  When dinner had finished, Elora claimed she had a migraine brewing and a million things to do for tomorrow. She apologized that dessert would not be served tonight, but she didn’t leave her seat at the head of the table when everybody started to excuse themselves. Garrett suggested that they should be heading out, and she nodded noncommittally.

  “I will see you tomorrow evening,” Elora replied hollowly. She was staring off into space instead of looking at him, and he tried not to look troubled by this.

  “Take care of yourself,” Garrett offered.

  Finn, Rhys, and I rose to see Garrett, Willa, and Rhiannon to the door, but Elora’s voice stopped me cold. I think it stopped everyone else, too, but they did a better job of playing it off.

  “Finn?” Elora said flatly, still staring off at nothing. “Would you escort me to my drawing room? I’d like to have a word with you.”

  “Yes, of course,” Finn replied, giving her a small bow.

  I froze and looked to him, but he refused to look at me. He just stood stoically, hands crossed behind his back, and waited for Elora to ask for further assistance. I might’ve stood there until Elora commanded me to go, but Willa looped her arm through mine and started to drag me away. I wanted to hate her for it, but I knew she was just saving me from another of Elora’s tirades.

  “So, I’ll come over about ten tomorrow morning,” Willa said, purposely keeping her tone light and cheery. Rhys and Rhiannon were just ahead of us, whispering quietly amongst themselves. Garrett stole one last glance at Elora and walked on to the front door.

  “What for?” I asked, feeling somewhat dazed.

  “To help you get ready. Th
ere is so much to do!” Willa emphasized, then shot a look in the direction of the dining room. “And your mother doesn’t seem to be the helpful type.”

  “Willa, don’t talk bad about the Queen,” Garrett remarked without conviction.

  “Well, anyway, I’ll be over to help you with everything. You’ll be fabulous.” She gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my arm.

  “Thanks.” I wanted to smile at her, but I couldn’t make it work.

  I was genuinely relieved to have her helping me, but there was a sick feeling growing inside of me. Whatever Elora was saying to Finn, it couldn’t be good. Garrett flashed me an unconvincing smile himself, then they disappeared out the door, leaving Rhys and I standing in the entryway.

  “You okay?” Rhys asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied.

  I felt oddly shaky and ill, and I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to be a Princess anymore. There weren’t many more dinners like this I could handle. I took a step away, preparing to tell Elora just that, but I felt Rhys’s hand warm on my arm, stopping me.

  “If you go in there, you’ll just make it worse,” Rhys insisted gently.

  “Come on.”

  He put his hand on the small of my back and started ushering me up the stairs. I couldn’t help but peer over the railing, hoping to catch a glimpse of something. I’m not sure what that would help, but I thought if I could just see what was happening, I could somehow make it okay.

  “That was a rough dinner,” Rhys said with a joyless laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault,” Rhys assured me with his lopsided grin. “You just made this house a whole lot more interesting.”

  We reached the top of the stairs, and I expected him to try and push me down to my room, but he didn’t. He knew that I had to wait for Finn and find out what happened. Rhys leaned his shoulder against the wall, facing me.

  Taking a deep breath, I leaned back against the wall next to him.

  Elora had purposely made that spectacle public. Otherwise she would’ve said it privately, inside Finn’s head. For some reason, she had wanted me to witness that. I didn’t understand why or what she had in store for Finn. I wasn’t even sure what exactly he had done wrong, except disagree with her. But he had been respectful and hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true.

  “What do you think she’s saying?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Rhys said thoughtfully. “She’s never really yelled at me.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding,” I stared at him skeptically. Rhys behaved like a kid that had gotten in trouble a lot in his life, and Elora was about as strict as they came.

  “No, seriously,” Rhys laughed at my shock. “She’s snapped at me to knock stuff off when she’s around me, but do you know how often she’s even around? I was raised by nannies. Elora made it perfectly clear from day one that she wasn’t mother, and she never wanted to be.”

  “Did she ever want to be a mother at all?” What little I knew of her seemed to be lacking even the slightest bit of maternal instinct.

  “Honestly?” Rhys debated whether or not to tell me, before sadly replying, “No. I don’t think she did. But she had a lineage to carry on. A duty.”

  “I’m just part of her job,” I muttered bitterly. “For once, I just wish that somebody actually wanted me around.”

  “Oh, come on, Wendy,” Rhys admonished me softly and leaned in closer to me. “Lots of people want you around.” His head rested on the wall right next to mine, and I could feel his blue eyes searching for something. I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. “You can’t take it personally that Elora’s a bitch.”

  “It’s a little hard not to.” I fidgeted with my dress, and Rhys away. He was staring at the wall across from us instead of me, and I felt an odd combination of relief and disappointment. “She’s my mother.”

  “Elora is a strong, complicated woman that you and I can’t even begin to understand,” Rhys explained tiredly. “She is a Queen above all else, and that makes her cold and distant and cruel.”

  “What was it like growing up with that?” I glanced over at him.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Probably like growing up in a boarding school with a strict headmistress. She was always lurking in the background, and I knew that she had the final say on everything. But her interaction with me was an absolute minimum.” He looked at me again, this time uncertainly.

  “What?”

  “She’s not quite as secretive as she thinks, though. This is a big house, but I was a sneaky little kid,” Rhys said, looking away from me. He bit his lip and fiddled with a button on his blazer. “You know she used to sleep with Finn’s dad?”

  “I did,” I said quietly.

  “I thought he would tell you.” Rhys fell silent for a minute, chewing his lip. “Elora was in love with him. She’s strange when she’s in love. Her face is different, softer and more radiant.” Rhys shook his head, lost in a memory. “It’s almost worse seeing her like that, knowing that she’s capable of kindness and generosity. It makes you feel gypped that all you ever get is icy glares from across the room.”

  “I’m sorry.” I put my hand gently on his arm. I couldn’t imagine how horrible it had been for him to grow up like that. He forced a smile at me, then shook his head, clearing it of the memory.

  “Anyway. He left Elora, for his wife, which is just as well.” Rhys looked thoughtful for a moment. “Although, I bet she would’ve thrown it all away to be with him, if he had really loved her. But that’s not the point.”

  “What is the point?” I asked shakily.

  “Rumor has it she keeps Finn around because of the torch she was still carrying for his old man. I don’t know if that’s true or not. She never confided anything in me, and nothing’s ever happened between them.” Rhys let out a heavy sigh. “At least… Finn never looked at her the way he looks at you.” He let it hang in the air for a second as I tried to figure out what he meant by that.

  “So you’ve got that strike against you too. She never wanted to be a mother, and you’re getting the one thing she never had.”

  “What are you talking about?” I demanded nervously.

  “Wendy.” Rhys looked at me with a sad smile. “I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, but you’re just as bad.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stuttered and looked away from him.

  “Alright,” Rhys laughed hollowly. “Whatever you say.”

  My knees seemed to have weakened, and I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. Rhys followed suit, making some joke that I didn’t really catch. My mind was racing and my heart was pounding. Rhys must be imagining things. And even if he wasn’t, surely Elora wouldn’t punish him for that. Would she?

  19

  Finn reached the landing of the top of the steps, and I scrambled to my feet. He had probably only been with Elora for fifteen minutes or so, but in my mind, it felt like hours that stretched on forever. Rhys was sitting next to me, but he got up much slower than I had. Finn looked over us with some disdain, then turned and started walking to his room without a word towards me.

  “Finn!” I jogged after him, but Rhys rather smartly decided not to follow. “Wait! Finn! What happened?”

  “A conversation,” Finn replied glibly. I scurried to keep up with him, but he made no effort to slow down. He glanced back over his shoulder, looking for Rhys, but refused to look at me. “I thought I told you to stay away from the mänsklig.”

  “Rhys was just sitting with me while I waited for you,” I said. “Get over it.”

  “It’s very dangerous for you to be around him.” Finn had reached his bedroom, and he paused at the door, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

  “It’s dangerous for you to be around me.”

  “What’s that supposed to be mean?” I demanded.

  Finn went to his room without answering, but I pushed in right b
ehind him. He tried to shut the door, but I knew he wouldn’t risk injuring me, so he put up very little fight when I barged into his room. Once I was in there, he took a step back from me and rubbed his forehead.

  “You shouldn’t be here. These are my private quarters,” Finn said flatly.

  “Just tell me what’s going on, and I will.” I crossed my arms firmly on my chest, staring up at him. I didn’t appreciate the way he wouldn’t look at me anymore. He was always looking everywhere but at me, and I missed his dark eyes.

  “I have been relieved of my duties,” Finn answered carefully. “Elora no longer perceives a threat, and I have been insubordinate. I am to pack my things, and leave the premises as soon as possible.”

  The air had completely gone out of the room. It had been my worst fear. Finn was going to leave, and it was all my fault. He had been defending me when I should’ve been defending myself. Or I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.

  “What?” I gaped at him when I could finally speak. “That’s not right.

  You can’t… You’ve been here for so long, and Elora trusts you. She can’t…

  It’s my fault! I’m the one that refused to listen!”

  “No, it’s not you fault,” Finn insisted firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Well, you can’t just leave! I have the ball tomorrow, and I don’t know anything!” I continued desperately. “I’m not a Princess at all! You have so much left to help me with!”

  “I wouldn’t be helping you after the ball anyway,” Finn shook his head.

  “A tutor will be coming in to help you learn everything you need to know from here on out. You’re ready for the ball, no matter what Elora says. You’ll do wonderfully tomorrow.”

  “But you won’t be here?” I looked at him, unbelieving, and he turned away from me.

  “You don’t need me,” Finn said quietly and started gathering up his things.

  “This is my fault!” I repeated. “I’m gonna talk to Elora. I’ll clear this all up. You can’t leave, and she has to see that.”