Take My Hand: BWWM Romance

by Shanade White

  Marissa took a deep breath and sank down into her chair. “First, Matt is my not my boyfriend, he’s my brother, so you can just wipe that nasty thought from your mind. I thought you knew me well enough to know that I wouldn’t do something like that,” she said, rubbing her temples.

  “But you still lied to me and I don’t like being lied to. What are you doing here? Can you explain all this to me?” he said, gesturing to her outfit.

  “It’s a long story. I was going to tell you when I got home,” she said, pleading in her eyes.

  “Well, why don’t you just tell me now?” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

  She opened her mouth, but just then there was a quiet knock on the door. “Marissa, the crew is done and ready to go home,” Matt said, through the closed door. “Should I tell them you’ll see them tomorrow?”

  “Yes, that’s fine,” she said. “Look, Scott, this isn’t really the place to have this discussion, I’ll only be a few more minutes. Can you meet me at my apartment? I assume you know where it is,” she said, getting to her feet.

  “I’ll be waiting,” he said, opening the door and practically running over Matt, shooting him a dirty look as he pushed past him.

  Marissa waited until she knew he was gone before sinking down into the chair again. She was fighting tears and a few escaped and rolled down her cheek. Matt came in and sat down across from her not sure what to say, this was not the strong in control person he was used to. He waited until she’d gotten herself under control then handed her a tissue.

  “What’s going on, Marissa? He was really mad,” Matt said, getting up and putting his hand on her shoulder. “I thought this was an arranged marriage, but it seems like more than that.”

  “I think I messed up really bad. I just wanted one more trip. It was selfish I know that, but I wanted to tell the rest of the family about the marriage. I don’t know, I guess everything happened so fast it was like I was still holding on to that one piece of me that mattered the most.”

  “Why did you marry him?”

  “Dad threatened to cut me off and a lot of my money goes to the charity, I couldn’t let that funding disappear,” she said sadly.

  “But something happened,” her brother said, looking at her. “You love him, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know how it happened so fast, but I do. Now, I’ve probably ruined any chance we had to be happy,” she said, tears rolling down her cheeks when the full impact of what she’d done began to set in. “I’ve always been stubborn and it’s worked for me, but this time I think I pushed it too far.”

  “Marissa, go talk to him. You taught me that facing our mistakes head on is the only way to fix them, it’s time to take your own advice. I’ll be here for you no matter what happens, but I think he’ll understand. If he doesn’t then maybe he’s not the man for you,” Matt said, sounding much older than his twenty years.

  “I know, but I’m scared. How is it possible to love someone so much in so short a time? I don’t want to lose him,” she said, getting shakily to her feet.

  Matt called her a cab, not wanting to walk her home knowing that Scott was waiting at the apartment. On the way home, she stopped and grabbed a pizza knowing that there wasn’t anything to eat at the apartment. When she walked through the door, Scott was sitting on the broken down couch in the living room watching television. He didn’t even look at her when she set the pizza down in front of him.

  “Go change out of that ridiculous outfit,” he said, still staring at the screen.

  Marissa did as he’d told her, but as she pulled on a tank top she began to get mad. It wasn’t her fault that he’d show up in her life and turned it upside down. She’d been perfectly happy just the way things were. She had her own life and could basically do as she pleased, now he was demanding answers like he was her father.

  She stomped back into the living room ready to do battle with him. No man was going to make her feel like a misbehaving child. But when she flounced down next to him on the couch, he turned off the television and gave her his full attention.

  “That’s better,” he said and kissed her, deflating all the anger she felt at his gentle touch. “Look, before we even start, this isn’t about me controlling your life, it’s about me sharing your life. I’ve been sitting here thinking about the last few months and I guess I can understand what happened, but, Marissa, I care about you and it hurt me to find out that you lied to me.”

  Seeing the genuine hurt in his eyes, she cursed herself again for being selfish. “I’ll tell you the whole story, but I promise you when I’m done you’re going to say something like you can’t do that anymore,” she said, settling back against the couch.

  Scott took her hand in his and said, “I’m listening.”

  “I guess you know that my adoptive mom died when I was twelve,” she started, thinking it was the only place to begin her explanation. “When she died, it was just my father, Clarissa, and me. He had no idea what to do with us so he pushed us away and hired a nanny to take care of us. Clarissa did okay, but I was lost in my grief, thinking that I must be the only girl in the world who’d lost not one but two mothers. We’d never been that close to my father. I often felt that he’d only agreed to adopt us because my mother wanted to.”

  “But that can’t be true,” Scott said.

  “The thing is I was right. One night, when I was fourteen, I overheard him talking to wife number two. I actually liked her, she seemed to care about us, they’d already had several fights about the way my father treated us. He flat out told her that he’d be happy to pay whatever was necessary to see us raised properly, but he had no real interest in actually participating himself. I don’t think either of them ever knew that I was outside that door, but I’ve never forgotten it, not long after that I started making his life miserable. He was always happy to believe the worst in me, so I let him.”

  “That’s why he thinks you’re such a wild child. You’ve been letting him think that for a long time,” Scott said, a few things falling place. “But why the big charade with the disguises and everything?”

  “That started out innocently enough. When I turned eighteen, the first thing I did was start looking for my real family. I’d tried to talk to my father about it when I turned sixteen, but he wouldn’t talk about it. Now, I realize that he was embarrassed about where my sister and I came from and I’m not entirely sure our adoption was even legal. In the end, with a few well-placed bribes, I was able to find my family,” she said, remembering how excited she’d been, a few tears leaking out of her eyes at the memory.

  “Where are they?” Scott asked, forgetting about Matt.

  “Well, you met Matt today. He’s my half-brother. My mother’s been gone for a long time, that’s why the family had to let my sister and I go. My mother died and there was no one to take care of us, my dad was just a kid and my grandmother still had a house full of her own children. I guess they tried to track us down a few years after the adoption, but we’d disappeared. Matt says that we were never supposed to be adopted in the first place.”

  “Oh, Marissa, that’s awful,” Scott said, pulling her into his arms, unable to stay mad at her.

  “I spent a week here getting to know the family that was left. I wanted to help them get out of this neighborhood, but they suggested that there were many other people who needed help more than they did. That was when I made my first visit to the soup kitchen. Matt introduced me by another name that day since I was so worried that my father would find out where I was. He’d been known to have me followed back then.” She rested her head on his chest for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

  “Pretty soon, I was coming here every month and posing as that person. I told them I represented a charity that wanted to become their major donor. From there, it became a game to me, using my father’s money to go into some of the worst neighborhoods and do some good. Even today, I use a good portion of the money he gives me every month to fund what I do,” she said, shrugging
her shoulders.

  “That’s why you agreed to get married,” Scott said, the pieces all fitting into place. “That must be a good sized chunk of money.”

  “It’s nothing to sneeze at. It’s amazing what someone will do when they feel guilty,” she said, not even trying to hide the contempt in her voice.

  “But I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me,” he said, then thought for a second and added, “I would have let you come here. You wouldn’t have even needed a disguise.”

  “You say that now, but let me show you a list of the places that I support. They’re all over the country, I left off the ones in the rural areas,” she said, handing him a piece of paper that she’d put together before she came home.

  Scott looked at the list, his eyes getting bigger and bigger. “Are you crazy? Now I know why you didn’t want to tell me about this,” he said, pushing her off of him and pacing around the little living room. “When I think of all the things that could happen to you. I...”

  When he’d finally calmed down a little, she said, “See, I told you. The next thing you’re going to say is that I have to stop.”

  Scott looked at her and opened his mouth to disagree but then sat down heavily beside her instead and said, “Yeah, you’re right. I was going to say that. But, Marissa, you can’t keep doing this, it is dangerous.”

  “But that’s not your decision to make any more than it should have been my father’s,” she said, waiting for his reaction.

  “I disagree,” he said. “I care about you and I’d hate to see you hurt in any way. That makes it my business.”

  Marissa felt like she was trapped between her feelings for Scott and the duty she felt for the people she’d promised to help. “I need to finish this trip, I can’t just walk away,” she finally said, hoping he wasn’t going to fight her on this one.

  “But I’m going with you,” he said in a voice that made it clear his mind was made up.

  Marissa looked at him, then started laughing. “As much as I’d love to have your company on this trip, it’s going to look pretty strange when I show up with a huge white man. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Just let me finish my trip, say my goodbyes, and when I get home, we’ll talk about it, I promise.”

  “I have a feeling you’re going to do what you want so I’ll agree, but don’t think this is the end of this discussion,” he said. “I’m going to bed, it’s been a long day. Are you coming?”

  “Not yet, I still have a lot of work to do,” she said, frowning when he opened his mouth to protest. Then she added, “You weren’t supposed to be here, remember? I still have things to finish before tomorrow. I’d like you to come with me thought.”

  Scott considered her offer. “Won’t they wonder who I am?” he said sarcastically.

  “No, everyone here knows who I am. There was no way to hide the fact with my family right in the neighborhood,” she said with another shrug of her shoulders. “I’m the safest here thanks to Matt.”

  “I’ll think about it,” he said grumpily as he walked down the hall to the little bedroom.

  There was nothing else Marissa could do tonight. She’d put her cards on the table, now it was up to Scott to try and understand her side. Dragging her computer out of her bag, she booted it up wondering if all this turmoil was worth it. She cared about Scott, but it seemed that caring about him only added stress to her life. But later that night, when she went to bed and he pulled her against him in his sleep, she closed her eyes relishing the feel of his arms wrapped around and knew that it was worth it.

  Chapter 11

  The next morning, they were quiet while they drank their coffee, the confrontation from the day before still fresh in their minds. Marissa was nervous. The family had heard about her confrontation with Scott from Matt and were all planning to show up in force that morning. They walked to the soup kitchen in silence, then jumped right in to help prepare breakfast, Marissa putting Scott to work on the serving line so he could get a real idea of what it was like here in the slums of Houston.

  Her family wandered in, each spending a few minutes checking him out before disappearing back out of the door. Putting him to work had been the best idea she’d had since this whole mess had blown up in her face. By the end of the breakfast shift, Scott had begun to look at the people they served differently.

  When they finally managed to get a plate of food, he ate it hungrily, the pushed his plate away. His silence hung heavily between them until he finally said, “Okay, I guess I understand why you want to be down here. It’s a heck of a lot better than those stuffy fundraisers we go to back in Los Angeles.”

  “At least here I can see where my money is going. And I know that there’s no middle man taking a share,” she said. “I bought the building so we don’t even have a landlord and I make a little money renting out the apartments upstairs.”

  “Are all the places on that list like this one?” he asked, looking at her with new respect. What she’d created was pretty amazing.

  “No, some of them are homeless shelters. There are schools and quite a few women’s shelters.”

  “Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me come with you?” he asked again.

  “I think it’s best if you don’t. You wouldn’t be able to go into the women’s shelters anyway. That takes a background check and very few men are allowed in even then,” she said, shaking her head.

  “I guess I understand,” he said, then rose to his feet when Matt came over to the table to join them.

  He wasn’t pleased with Scott at first, but by the time they left for the airport, Matt had warmed up to him enough that Marissa thought that someday they might be friends. They parted at the airport, Scott still scowling that she wouldn’t let him go with her.

  “You need to get home and make sure my office is ready for me,” she reminded him. “I paid the bribe.”

  He pulled her to him. “Hm, I’m not sure that was enough. The contractor might need a little more encouragement,” he said, nuzzling her neck.

  “Well, he’s just going to have to wait until I get back,” she said, giggling when ran his hands up her rib cage.

  “I’m going to hold you to that, Mrs. Terrell,” he said, kissing her.

  “Was that a gentle reminder?” she asked, looking into his eyes.

  “Just wanted you to remember what’s waiting for you at home. Be careful, Marissa,” he said, meeting her gaze, then lowered his mouth to hers.

  They were interrupted by the boarding call for his flight. Scott reluctantly let go of Marissa and headed for home. She watched him walk through the door to the plane thinking how lucky she was to have him in her life, then turned and headed for her flight to Chicago and what she knew would be her last trip to the shelter there. Of all the places she visited, this was by far the most dangerous. Scott would never let her go there alone again. She’d miss the people she met there, but knew that it was the smart thing to do.

  It was the middle of the night when she finally got home six days later. The trip had taken much longer than she’d expected, but she’d accomplished everything she’d wanted to. When she’d finished at the woman’s shelter earlier that night, all she’d wanted was to be home, the first time that had ever happened. So, she’d changed her flight to an earlier one, just making it in time, then driven straight home in a rental car.

  After quietly letting herself in the house, she’d taken a shower careful not to wake Scott who was snoring adorably in the bed. Knowing that she’d never be able to get to sleep, she went down to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. She was standing at the kitchen sink looking out the big window at the stars when she saw Scott’s reflection in the window.

  He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “What are you doing home already? I thought your flight didn’t come in until tomorrow,” he said, burying his face in her neck and filling his lungs with her scent.

  “I wanted to get home. I missed you,” she said, the tremors in her legs
beginning almost at once when Scott pulled her hair back and kissed her neck. When she’d gotten out of the shower, she’d put on her favorite silk robe and nothing else, the feel of Scott’s body heat seeped through the thin fabric making her shiver.

  Scott rubbed her arms, thinking she was cold. “Why didn’t you come to bed? You’re cold.”

  “I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sleep,” she said, gesturing to the microwave. “I was making a cup of tea.”

  “I think I can do a much better job than a cup of tea if you need help getting to sleep,” he whispered in her ear, sending more shivers down her spine.

  “Mmmm, I thought about that, but you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you up,” she said, leaning back against him.

  “Sweetheart, don’t ever worry about waking me, I’d give up a whole night’s sleep for you,” he said, pulling the tie on her robe until it came undone.

  He spread the robe open and cupped her breasts which were already throbbing, the tingle between her legs spreading warmly through her. She tried to turn in his arms, but he held her there, his thumbs rubbing against her nipples, making her knees go weak with pleasure. He was still nuzzling her neck, nipping at the tender flesh with his teeth. He moved up her neck until he captured her ear lobe with his teeth.

  “Don’t move,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m going to take you right here.”

  Marissa sucked in a breath, then sighed when he gently squeezed her nipples between his thumb and finger, her legs so weak she was forced to lean back against him. Scott’s mouth returned to her neck, his hands still on her breasts. She tried one more to turn in his arms, but he shook his head no and slid one hand down between her legs.

  He slid a finger between her folds, finding her dripping with moisture and ready for him. Sliding his finger over her clit until she was panting with the need for release, he took each wrist in one of his hands and put them on the counter. She leaned forward, spreading her legs when he nudged them open with his knee, the cool air coming in contact with her heated flesh making her gasp.