Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3)

by Josie Bordeaux

  Okay, idiot—why? Why would she trap me? Maybe it’s a game for her. See how she can make a guy fall in love with her just so she can fuck with him. That’s gotta be it, right? She doesn’t want to be alone. That’s it. That’s the reason. It has to be the reason. I sat up knowing deep down that may not really be the answer, but I needed it to be.

  A couple on roller blades skated by laughing and holding hands. Another couple jogged by, smiling and laughing about something. I swallowed recognizing that was how Aub and I must have looked like the other day. Did we look that happy? Were we really happy? I thought back to when we walked down to the corner for breakfast just yesterday. We didn’t hold hands, but we were laughing. I was so content with her. Just yesterday. And then she had to go ruin it by telling me I loved her. I don’t love her. I can’t love her. Can I?

  Sitting here staring at these couples made me feel like shit. I missed her. I want what we had just yesterday. The joking around, making up stupid rules. Why did she have to go and fuck it all up? Yes, dammit. She did. Maybe I was just blissfully ignorant, but I’d rather stay that way—a fucking idiot walking through life happily.

  Never let a woman in your heart. Shut up! I wanted to scream at my Dad’s voice in my head. Over and over again like a broken record.

  I looked at my watch and realized it was already five. Five o’clock on Sunday was always dinner at Mel and Flynn’s. I debated going there. Would Aub go? Was she already telling them how I walked out on her? After we…made love. Fuck. Even that sounds pathetic. Make love. Intense sex. That’s what I’d call it. Something I’ve never had with any other woman. There was probably a reason for that. So they can’t take my heart.

  Standing in front of the townhouse, I stared at the red door. I ran my hand through my hair quickly, hoping I didn’t look like shit. Why was I here? Because these are the only friends I’ve ever really had besides Benji. Maybe I should go to his house.

  My phone rang out a text from Mel. We’re starting to eat. Get over here.

  Was Aub in there? I swallowed and realized I almost hoped she was. Just thinking about her made my heart throb. I just wanted to go back to yesterday, to where we didn’t have this hanging over us. This. What was “this?”

  I put my hand on the doorknob and started to turn it as my heart beat faster wondering if Aub might be in there. I wanted her to be in there. I smiled to myself as I realized—I just wanted to be with her.

  Her words rang through my head: Don’t love me. Shit, she even gave me permission not to have to feel this for her. Maybe she’d let us go back to just being together without having to feel like we need each other? Without feeling like we need to love each other? I pushed the door open before I could ask myself any more idiotic questions.

  “Where’s Aubrey?” Vanessa asked as I walked in, shutting the door behind me. I barely looked at her assuming she probably already knew. Aub would have called her best friend after what I had just done to her, right?

  They were all seated at the dining room table, food all doled out. I had heard them laughing about something when I walked in. My eyes swept over the table hoping that Aub were actually there so I could face this.

  Her seat was empty.

  I shrugged and avoided Vanessa’s eyes. “Don’t know,” I replied, as a horrible feeling rolled in my stomach.

  “What do you mean? You two have been practically inseparable for months now,” Izzy asked as she stopped laughing. I couldn’t meet her eyes as I grabbed an empty seat at the table next to Z.

  “Yeah, well, now we’re not,” I replied a bit too harshly. I looked at the bowls set in the middle of the table and grabbed the spoon for the bowl full of mashed potatoes. I scooped up a blob and plopped it onto my plate, realizing the whole table was quiet. I could feel all their eyes on me too.

  “What happened?” Izzy’s voice was soft and caring, stabbing at my gut. They’d really hate me after they find out what really happened. I reached over for the bowl of green beans as I tried to look anything but nervous.

  They were waiting for an answer, so I tossed one out, trying to appear confident as I glanced Vanessa’s way. “Nothing. You haven’t talked to her?” I probably shouldn’t have asked her that since it was obvious she hadn’t. Unless Aub would lie to her best friend about what happened.

  Vanessa pulled out her phone. “What’d you do to her?” she yelled as she held the phone up to her ear and got up from the table. She started walking toward the kitchen.

  I continued to try to be nonchalant. Not caring. On the inside, my stomach was rolling and panic was setting in. Was I panicking because of our friends hating me? Or because I wasn’t sure what I did to my relationship with Aub?

  There wasn’t a sound at the table and I stopped fighting my urge. I looked around the table.

  Everyone stared at me. The room was deathly quiet. “Seriously, man, something happen? Aubrey’s not in the hospital again, is she?” Matt asked me, complete concern written on his face as I glanced at him.

  I shook my head, at least calming their fear about that. “Nah, she’s ok…”

  “Oh my God!” Vanessa shrieked, still holding the phone to her ear as she stalked to me. Shit. Seeing the look on her face, Aub told her exactly what happened.

  “You fucking prick!” Vanessa spat as she slapped me across the face and continued yelling. “She trusted you! She gave you her heart, you jerk!” The burning sensation on my cheek was nothing new. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been slapped by a woman. But this time it was different. Vanessa hit me because I hurt her best friend.

  Matt jumped up, running behind her and grabbed her hand attempting to stop her from hitting me again, which by the look on her face, she clearly wanted to do. Matt held her in his arms calming her with “shh” as she continued to try to break free from his hold.

  “What happened?” Izzy asked as she jumped up from her seat.

  “He broke her heart! That’s what he did! She’s moving out right now,” Vanessa started screaming attempting to come at me again, but Matt pulled her to him still holding her tight.

  My heart sank hearing that and I swallowed before asking, “She’s moving out?” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, why wouldn’t she after I broke her heart?

  Fuck. I broke her heart.

  We weren’t going to be able to go back to what we had just yesterday. I stood up knowing that Vanessa was probably going to attempt to break free again. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel like I deserved her anger.

  “You didn’t know she’s moving out?” Izzy asked softly.

  “She told him she loves him and he told her to get out!” Vanessa yelled, again attempting to try to come at me.

  Frustrated, I tried to explain my side of things. “I didn’t tell her to move out. I just…” Why was I even bothering to tell them this? Why am I the bad guy here? Because I don’t want to love her. But you do, that stupid fucking voice in my head kept repeating. Then the other motherfucker started in, you can’t trust a woman. Ever.

  Izzy’s soft hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me toward the kitchen. I felt a lecture coming on, but for some reason, I was actually looking for some sort of advice.

  We walked into the kitchen as I overheard everyone asking Vanessa questions before I heard the front door close. Knowing Vanessa would run to Aub, I relaxed slightly. Until right then, I hadn’t even thought about what Aub did all day. What an asshole I am. Maybe it was best this way. Then I wouldn’t love her. Fuck. I love her.

  “What really happened, Clark?” Izzy asked carefully as if I were a wounded animal. I probably seemed it. I walked over to the other end of the island and placed my hands flat on the counter. Staring at the floor, I took a deep breath. My heart stuck in my throat as I tried to process my thoughts to tell her.

  I looked up at her and told her what I really knew deep down. “I think I really fucked up, Iz. I think…shit.” I looked around the kitchen as I felt my eyes well up. Men don’t fucking cry—another great lesson from
Dad.

  I turned around and rubbed my eyes quickly and cleared my throat.

  “Why do you say that?”

  I exhaled before answering. Still facing the living room, I let her know the shitty thing I did this morning. “I walked out on her after we…made love.” We made love. I turned around as I told Izzy what I’ve never admitted to anyone. “That one emotion I’ve fought my entire life so someone couldn’t walk out on me. And here I walked out on her first.” I shook my head as I locked my hands behind my head, looking up at the ceiling. “Congratulations, Clark. You left someone first and didn’t let them in.” I laughed at the irony and then felt a stabbing pain in my heart. But this time, it wasn’t for me. It was for Aub. It hit me hard how badly I must have hurt her. I fought back the annoying tears that kept trying to surface. I looked right at Iz. “I really fucked up this time. I don’t know if I really want to fix it or just let her go.”

  “What are you going to miss if she leaves?”

  I looked around the room, my eyes fixed on nothing as the memories flashed through my mind. “I’ll miss wondering what plans she wants to try to make that I can try to change just to mess with her. I’ll miss her teasing me about stupid things. I’ll miss waking up in the middle of the night holding her tight in my arms. I’ll miss that stupid quirk she does when she’s pissed at me for opening my stupid mouth.” I took a deep breath and swallowed. I looked right at Iz as I realized the truth. “I’ll miss her. Just her.”

  “Did she ask you to love her? Did she tell you that you had to?” I shook my head. “So you left this morning to prove to her or yourself that you could leave this relationship?”

  “I guess both of us. I didn’t want to face the truth.”

  “Do you want to fix it now?”

  I smiled lightly as I knew right then what I really wanted. I wanted Aub back. “Yeah.” I swallowed as I beamed at Izzy that she helped me figure out the truth. “I love her. I want her back.”

  I think it was the first time I ever received an approving smile from Izzy. I’d have to make sure I don’t have moments like this too often with her. I prefer to rile her up instead.

  I turned and started for the door passing Z on the way. I felt a slap on my back and laughed, realizing he had probably heard the whole conversation. I glanced at Mel and Flynn as I passed and knew by their expressions they had heard me too.

  STANDING OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT DOOR, I froze. My stomach was all in knots, my heart was pounding and I realized I was also sweating. I can do this. I can tell her I love her. She told me earlier she loves me, so this should be no big deal, right? So she’s trying to move out, I’m sure it’s just a knee-jerk reaction. Once I tell her I love her too, everything will be like it was yesterday again. Right?

  I put my hand on the door handle and was about to push it open, but suddenly felt the urge to knock. What the hell for? This is my apartment too. Maybe I wanted to warn her I was coming. Should I warn her? Nah, she knew I’d have to come back at some point, right? I live here. I took a deep breath and realized my freaking hand was shaking on the door handle. Gritting my teeth and pushing back all that I was feeling I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

  Three boxes sat on the floor before me. I felt as if they were staring at me like I was a bad guy. I swallowed and peered through Aub’s doorway. When I didn’t hear anything, I took a few steps forward, put my hand on the doorframe and looked in her room. Wearing cut off jean shorts and a tiny white tank top, her blue bra strap draped off her shoulder. Her black hair piled high on her head into a disheveled ponytail that swung when she turned her head. Hatred filled her gorgeous brown eyes, glaring at me with venom.

  “What?” She spewed. I swallowed knowing her anger was all from this morning. It had built up throughout the day. The longer I had stayed away, the more time anger had brewed about what I did. Or really didn’t do.

  “I…umm, well,” I stuttered trying to get something out. I probably should have thought more about what I’d say.

  “You fucking asshole!” Vanessa shocked the hell out of me by storming out of the bathroom. Holding a tube of toothpaste in her hand, she came at me. I held up my hands as she shoved me against the wall. “What the hell do you want?”

  “Fuck! Vanessa!” I cried out as she started smacking my arm. Just then, Matt came through our apartment door holding boxes and dropped them immediately.

  He grabbed her and hugged her tight. “Let me go!” She started yelling.

  “Matt, man. God, is she always like this?” Straightening my shirt, I glanced over to Aub, who went back to her packing not bothering to see what her friend had done.

  “Just around you, asshole!”

  “Come on, Vanessa. I think they need to talk.” Matt told her.

  “Talk? Aubrey has nothing to say to him except to tell him he’s an asshole!” I watched Matt snicker as he shook his head and dragged his woman out of the apartment.

  I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to calm down from being pissed off at Vanessa. Then I got nervous again as I remembered what exactly I was here to do.

  “I…well, I love you too,” I admitted to her. There. Now I felt better. I watched her storm toward me and fully expected her to hug me and smile. I told her that I felt it too and now we can go back to what we were like yesterday.

  She stood in front of me. My expression changed when I realized she was still pissed. I had no idea why. I gave her what she wanted. She wanted me to admit it and I did.

  “Ohhhh,” I coughed out. All the air left my lungs as Aub kneed me right in my balls. Doubled over feeling that horrible pain in my stomach and my balls. She hit my jewels so hard; I thought my eyes might pop out. “What the hell’d you do that for?” I asked looking down at the floor, holding my crotch, doubled over.

  “That’s for screwing me over when I told you I loved you!” She yelled as I started to try to right myself. I took a deep breath.

  “But I do love you!” I insisted, even though I could barely get the words out from the blinding pain. “Ungh!” I cried out as her fist hit my gut hard.

  “That’s for lying to me!” She screamed. I looked back up and caught her fist in my hand just in time to stop another blow to my gut.

  “Aub! Quit hitting me!” I shouted back, still holding my stomach with my other hand as I tried to pull her to me with the one I was holding.

  “No, you asshole, quit screwing with my heart!” Her hands were still clenched and the anger was clear on her face. I stared up at her for a moment longer as the tears started flooding her eyes. She sniffed and then told me in barely a whisper, “You don’t deserve me.”

  Without thinking, I pulled her over to her bed and sat her down. I knelt before her and took both her hands into mine as I gazed up at her. “You’re right, I don’t. I’m scared shitless of the feelings I have for you. I wasn’t expecting them.” I paused as I cupped her face. I needed her to fully understand that I really do feel it. “I don’t deserve you. No man really does. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” I swallowed and took a deep breath. “If you’ll let me, I promise to try to be the man you deserve. I want to be that man for you.”

  She remained quiet and avoided my eyes, still seething and not believing me.

  “I meant what I said a moment ago. I love you. I really love you.” Her eyes flicked to mine and still held disbelief. Man, I really screwed up. I reached my other hand up and held both sides of her face, forcing her to try to believe me.

  “You’re my calm, Aubrey. And if you’ll let me…I’ll always be your calm.”

  A moment passed as she stared into my eyes, the anger subsiding and replacing with hope. She sniffled and then a small beautiful smile graced her perfect lips. “You called me ‘Aubrey’.”

  I couldn’t help but smile back. “I did.” I swallowed before I asked, “Do you want me to call you that?”

  She chuckled. “Well, it is my name. But I like that you have your own name for me.”

&nbs
p; “I’ve actually got a couple of other names I’d like to call you,” I teased, unable to resist another jab. Not to mention break up all this sappy talk.

  She rolled her eyes as she leaned forward. “Let’s stick with ‘Aub’ for now.”

  EPILOGUE

  Clark

  AUBREY’S JOB and the way she travels off and on, sucked. But she loved her work and who was I to try to sway her from that? The one thing I learned after all our time together is that I didn’t want to be without her. Ever. It sounded sappy and I hated thinking that I’d never want to be without someone, but with Aub everything just made sense. Everything felt…just right.

  I called in the girls because I knew I’d need to solicit some womanly advice for what I was about to do. The biggest thing I would ever do in my entire life. Benji and Corrina had already given me their two cents, which to me seemed pretty lame. They wanted to throw a backyard party and have me get down on one knee in front of everyone. Stupid. And what if she said no in front of everyone? Loser! That was not going to be me.

  Gathering at Flynn and Mel’s house, the guys were watching a basketball game and basically mocking me whenever they could. Sitting around the kitchen island with the girls, we tried to get some ideas flowing about how I’ll propose to Aub when she comes back.

  “You can’t propose to her in a back alley!” Izzy spat out at me after I told her my latest idea.

  “Why not? I mean…that’s where I kept finding her and helping her out.” It made sense to me. Propose at the place where I saved her from the bad guys. Isn’t that in every fairytale ever written?

  “No. Those weren’t her best memories of you two. Those were probably some of her lowest points,” Vanessa told me, her face scrunched up, completely disgusted.

  “But I was there to save her,” I insisted. “It’s perfect. I’d be there to sweep her off her feet again.” I heard the guys laugh at that one and I threw a wadded up paper towel at Matt’s head.