Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  “I’ve not seen you before, hope you’re not dibble.” Francesca smiled and told her how she was a friend of Jade’s. Once Irene had given Francesca the once over she seemed to relax and carried on inspecting the clothes. She zipped them up and down and checked all the sizes on them.

  “I’ll give you forty quid for the lot. The sizes might be hard to get rid of, but I’ll take the chance on them.” Jade shook her head and smiled at her.

  “Tell you what love; you don’t half do well from me. Fuckin bargains galore you get.” Irene tried to keep a straight face but Jade knew she needed the money quick so she accepted her offer with little argument. Irene pulled a bundle of cash from her lacy pink bra and counted out forty quid. Everyone who was selling anything always came to her because they knew she’d always have the money on standby waiting for them. Jade took the money and listened to her request for further stuff she needed. She laughed when Irene told her she wanted a new hoover and told her she would just walk out of a store with one later in the day. They said their goodbyes and Jade headed straight for the phone box, as she searched for change to put in the phone. Francesca listened as she made the call and it was obvious she was phoning her drug dealer. Jade came out of the phone box and watched every car that went by, looking for the one that would satisfy her cravings. Francesca had to book a visit for the following day, and took the opportunity to use the phone after Jade finished. As she dialled the number, a black car pulled up with a middle-aged man driving it, she watched as Jade ran to the side of it. The phone call lasted around five minutes and they took the details from Francesca for the visit. Jade paced up and down outside the phone box looking like death warmed up. Her skin looked grey and her eyes were rolling, her need for heroin was obvious. Once the phone call was over, she sighed with relief. Francesca knew the next day would be hard as she hadn’t seen Gordon for a while now and predicted he’d still want to rule her life even though he was locked up in Strangeways.

  Jade hurried to a block of maisonettes that was just across the road. She told Francesca she wouldn’t be long and left her sitting on a brick wall. She never mentioned where she was going but she had a feeling she was going to get the dig of brown she craved. Francesca watched as Jade ran into the maisonettes. She looked like she’d shit her knickers. Once she was out of sight, Francesca felt her stomach. The baby growing inside her was all she had in life and her mind started to think of days gone by. She started to think about her old friend Misty and wondered how she was doing. She felt guilty for the things she’d done in the past. Gordon was an out and out bastard and Misty should have been glad to be rid of him but now it seemed that she’d taken over Misty’s old life with Gordon. He ruled her life just as he’d ruled Misty’s. She’d thought about leaving Manchester a few times and starting a new life somewhere else, but she knew the money in her purse wouldn’t even get her a bus ride into town never mind a trip to another city so, for now, she’d have to grin and bear it.

  Jade re-emerged with a smile on her face about twenty minutes later and you could tell the drugs were deep in her veins. Her pupils looked like small pinholes and her words were shaky as she spoke.

  “Come on love let’s get back to it. The day’s still young yet and we need to be earning some more cash. Ay, we can go in the baby shops and start you off with some baby clothes. What do ya say to that?” Francesca smiled. She wasn’t that bad after all, she thought, and felt a bit guilty at the way she’d taken the piss earlier that morning.

  The shopping precinct was busier than before and they found it hard to walk as people stood about chatting and laughing. Harpurhey was kind of a meeting place for friends and families on different days of the week especially if the market was on. Some teenage girls wore pyjama bottoms to walk round the market in and didnt give a toss what they looked like. A mini fairground had a few rides on it and the mothers queued up to get their kids on it. It was funny, Francesca thought, because everyone you looked at seemed to be eating something. Some were eating pasties and some were eating chips. A burger van was situated at the side of them and a large queue of starving people waited patiently to order their scran. Harpurhey was like one big, happy community. Little kids screamed at the ice-cream van, demanding this and that. One of the mums had lost her patience and slapped her kid several times round the head telling him she was skint and could just about afford food never mind ‘a fuckin ice-cream’.

  Jade let on to a few people as she passed them and you could tell she was well known. Other groups of smack heads let on to Jade and told her where they’d nicked stuff from. It seemed like a code amongst smack heads that they had to tell each other which shops wasn’t on top. They even knew what time the security breaks were and what time was best to hit the stores. Francesca felt quite uneasy as Jade spoke to the druggies, she hated being associated with them, but times were hard and beggars can’t be choosers so she just stood there and watched as they spoke. One lad pulled two legs of lamb from his coat and about eight packets of cheese. Jade looked shocked, and told him to put it away before he got them all nicked. Francesca was amazed at the things they had stolen and never thought in a month of Sundays they’d nick something like tins of Corned Beef. Jade could tell she felt uncomfortable and told her mates she would speak to them soon in the Ark Royal. The Ark Royal and Two Hundred pubs were places all the wheeling and dealing took place. If you ever wanted a bargain, they were the places to be. Many of the punters came into the pub just to get knock off goods. You could get clothing out of there and even packets of bacon at rock bottom prices thanks to the smack heads in the area.

  Walking into the baby shop, Francesca’s heart melted. All the clothing looked so small and cute. She picked up a small babygro and held it up as Jade watched.

  “Orr, look at the size of this, it’s mint. I can’t believe I’m going to have a baby this small.” Francesca was carried away with the moment and started to rock the babygro she held in her arms as if a baby was in it. “Do I suit being a mother or what?” she said turning to face Jade who was nearly in tears and she realised she must of been thinking of her own children. Francesca quickly threw down the babygro and gripped Jades arm. “Sorry love, forgot how hard it must be for you, losing your children and all that. It must be so hard. I don’t know how ya cope, because I know I couldn’t do it.” Jade bit her bottom lip and confided in her.

  “I’ve looked at babies in their prams loads of times and just wanted to nick one while their mothers aren’t looking. I nearly had one once, but the mother came out of the shop and gave me a right earful. So I haven’t tried it for ages, but my time will come and I will have a baby.” Francesca looked concerned as she spoke and thought she must be joking, but as she continued she realised how serious she really was.

  “I want someone else to feel like I did when someone takes your child away, let’s see how they fucking cope. It’s hard I tell ya, but life goes on doesn’t it?” Francesca’s spine shivered at the thought of Jade nicking someone’s baby. She looked at her face and wondered if she was capable of stealing someone else’s child but as she looked, she realised she had some serious issues and could never be trusted.

  “Come on let’s fill our bags” Jade joked. Looking down at the bag, baby clothing and bottles were bulging out from the top of it. Francesca felt a buzz as they walked from the shop without a care in the world and knew this would be her life from now on. Jade made it all seem so easy and she knew she could earn the money she needed to keep her head above water.

  The day carried on much the same and the things they’d stolen were unbelievable. Jade did exactly what she’d said she would do earlier and walked out of a Asda superstore with a brand new hoover under her arm. Once they’d sold all the stuff they headed back to the flat for a well-earned rest. Francesca’s back was aching and she needed some food to stop herself feeling sick. The two girls were on a high when they headed into the flats and Jade joked about wearing her wig and glasses in bed that night for Tom. They both laughed as t
hey made comments about her outfit and knew Tom would shit himself when he lifted the duvet in bed to reveal her sexy new look.

  “Shame I haven’t got tan coloured tights like my nana used to wear isn’t it? He would definitely go under once he’d seen them around my fanny.” The laughter echoed around the concrete corridors as they entered the lift. The day had been strange and somehow Francesca found herself warming to her newfound friend.

  Opening the front door, they could hear music blasting out and they both looked at each other, as it was quite unusual for Tom to be playing music at such volume at this time of the day. Usually he’d shout at Jade for playing music so loud and tell her to turn it down if the volume level was more than fifteen. Walking through the hallway, they could hear Tom singing the words to a UB40 song at the top of his voice. Opening the door, they saw Tom in his boxer shorts lying flat out on the settee. His hand was down his boxer shorts and you could tell they’d just walked in before he’d started masturbating as his penis was stood to attention and ready for use. Tom jumped up as they entered the room and searched for a cushion to hide his manhood. Francesca’s eyes focused on it and couldn’t believe the size of his pride and joy. Gordon’s penis was only half that size and she understood why he was Gordon’s ‘big brother’ in every sense that day forward. Her eyes couldn’t stop looking at it, and she felt embarrassed as Jade hit him with another cushion shouting abuse at him.

  “Ya dirty fucker. Ya were getting ready for a wank until we caught you wasn’t ya. No fucking wonder ya can’t get a hard on for me, if ya wanking all fucking day long.” Tom laughed as he tried to fight her off, but she was off on one and wouldn’t leave him alone without saying what she thought.

  “Fucking joke I tell ya. I hope you’ve earned some fucking money today, because ya getting fuck all from me ya dirty wanker.” Francesca couldn’t hold herself back any longer and burst out laughing, and surprisingly Jade joined in. They both started singing at him as he sat there with a cocky grin on his face.

  “I’m a wanker, I’m a wanker and it does me good like it jolly well should. I’m a wanker I’m a wanker and I’m always pulling my pud.” The pair laughed as Tom searched for his pants. As he pulled his pants on, he looked at Francesca and smiled as he tucked his manhood into his pants. He knew she’d liked what she had seen and hoped one day he could ride her as she’d never been ridden before.

  Eventually they all sat round the table and shared out the money. Tom had about sixty pounds, and told them of the chase he’d taken from one of the market stallholders. His face looked serious as he continued and you could tell he’d had a close shave.

  “There I was with loads of razor blades in my pocket and the stallholder clocked me just when I was putting the last packet in my pocket. The bastard looked at me and tried to dive over the stall to grab my hands but I was too quick and done a burner through the market. Some of the market traders were laughing their nuts off as I ran passed them and I found it hard not to laugh myself, but as I looked round, the fucker was nearly up my arse and I had to turn on the turbo speed to dust the fucker off. The bastard didn’t give up for about ten minutes and I was knackered by the time I lost him.” Jade took hold of him and held him like a mother would hold her son and began to speak in a sarcastic voice.

  “Oh my little soldier, you’ve been through the mill today haven’t ya. Told ya you need to start working out because you’re gonna get caught one of these days I tell ya.” Tom looked at her and removed her arms from him as he felt quite embarrassed.

  “Fuck, they won’t ever catch me. I’m like shit off a shovel when I get going.” He now tensed his muscles and shoved them into Jade’s face shouting at her at full pelt. “Kiss the muscle. Kiss the muscle”, he laughed. Francesca looked at him and started to see him in a different light. She felt a strange tingling between her legs and knew the old Francesca was still alive in her somewhere. She could have dived on him there and then. She slowly licked her top teeth and thought of how good he could be in bed. She wondered if he would be better than his brother and grinned. She was feeling so horny right now that if Jade hadn’t been there she would have ripped her knickers off and shagged him all over the place. Her hormones were playing up now and she’d never felt this horny for a long time. If she carried on like this, she would be in bed with Tom before the week was over as there was no stopping her and her longing for a man’s touch.

  The money was counted and it was a good day’s earnings for them all. Tom gave Jade the look that meant he’d got the drugs and they both huddled together. The heating in the flat was turned on full and the sound of the boiler burning up travelled throughout the flat. They commented on the noise it made, it sounded like someone was banging on the pipes. Francesca pulled all the baby clothes from the bag and looked at them individually. Tom watched as she rubbed the velour lemon jacket across her face.

  “Fucking hell, look at the size of that. You wouldn’t think a baby was that small would ya?” Francesca held it up and agreed, as Jade started to reminisce about her own children when they were babies.

  “Orr pass me a babygro love. That is how big my kids were when they were younger, I can’t believe they’re gone ya know. I’d of been a good mother. It was just such a bad time I was going through back then, but the bastard social worker didn’t listen to a word I had to say. One day they’ll be back with me ya know. I’m gonna wait till I’ve earned a few quid and go and try and get em back.” Tom rolled his eyes at Francesca and tried to change the subject, but Jade could still be heard babbling on about her kids.

  “Did ya book a visit for our kid for tomorrow? Bet he’ll be buzzing when he sees you and your little bump.” Francesca didn’t want to tell him her fears and agreed, but somehow he’d brought the issue to her attention and she started to think about what the outcome would be the following day, would she be happy or sad.

  “I’m fucking starving.” Jade moaned. “Shall we get a pizza from the takeaway or what?” Tom and Francesca licked their lips and started to decide which topping they wanted on it.

  “I’ll have spicy beef,” shouted Tom and Francesca requested the Cheese and Tomato, as it was her favourite. Jade looked at them both and told them that she wasn’t going for it so they’d best decide between themselves who was leaving the warm flat to make the journey to Rochdale Road takeaway. Francesca held her tongue and hoped Tom would offer as her back was now troubling her. Jade looked at him for an answer and within minutes he agreed. His only demand was that when he got back he could watch the football match between Manchester United and Arsenal. Jade pulled her face but eventually agreed because she needed to feed her face. Also, while he was gone she could get her clothes ready for a night of passionate sex. She smiled and imagined the look on his face when he lifted the bedclothes – she knew tonight was going to be bags of fun.

  Tom threw his black leather coat on and straightened his hair in the mirror as the girls turned on the television. Francesca kicked off her shoes and placed her feet up on the chair trying to make herself comfortable as Jade spread herself across the settee like a super sized slob. Her breasts seemed to part like the Red sea and one was nearly over her shoulder at one stage. Her hair had more grease on it than a chip but she just swept it back from her face without a care in the world. Francesca wondered about the stories she’d heard about her selling herself and waited for Tom to leave before she asked. The door slammed and she wasted no time in finding out about the life of the woman who lay in front of her.

  “So are the rumours true that you do tricks when you’re skint? Or is it just the gossips round here making stories up? Because I know what they’re like round here for making things up.” Jade rolled over and screwed her face up like a bulldog chewing a wasp before she spoke.

  “Funny how things round Harpurhey get turned round. People need to get a grip on their own lives before they start talking shit about other people. I’ve never been on the game so I don’t know what they’re chatting shit for.” Francesca
could tell she was lying by her blood red face, but thought it best to leave her alone, as she could see it was winding her up. Jade now sat up and started to quiz Francesca about her life. They’d only known each other such a short time and Jade wanted to find out as much as possible about her, so she knew what she was facing when the time came to put her in her place.

  “So how long are ya planning on staying here then? You’ll want to get your own house soon won’t ya? This is no place for a baby. Imagine the noise when me and Tom start arguing, it will be like a war zone and you wouldn’t want that would you?” Francesca took the hint and agreed, but she knew she was telling her in her own way that she wasn’t welcome for much longer. Francesca looked at her and knew the gloves were on. Jade was a fat overweight slag and she knew she’d eat her for breakfast once she got back on her feet.

  Francesca told the story of how Gordon and she had got together. When she told her that Gordon had previously been her best mate’s boyfriend she nearly choked as she tried to light her cig.

  “Fucking snidey mate you, aren’t you? If you had been my mate, I would have hurt you big time. I’m not being funny love but that’s the lowest of the low, a downright liberty. What did ya mate do when she found out?” Francesca now had a cocky face and screwed it up as she spoke with her arms waving about.

  “Gordon loved me and wanted to be with me. Misty was just a mistake, so it’s not really my fault if he fell out of love with her is it?” Jade took a deep drag of her cig and shook her head from side to side, knowing she’d have to watch her more than ever now. Jade thought to herself how much of a slut and low-life she was and hoped the cocky smile that ran across her face would soon be knocked off.

  Tom returned with the pizza and placed the boxes on the table as he took his coat off.

  “It’s fucking freezing out there. My balls are like a brass monkeys.” Jade ignored him and opened the box. The heat from the box filtered through the air and each of them grabbed a slice of pizza.