Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  “She’s in school most of the day…wait. You did what?” Her voice exploded over the phone and I held it away from my ear.

  “I needed to let off some steam. He was fine. He was here.”

  “You don’t care about STI’s or kids or marriage or anything huh?”

  “I didn’t see a ring.”

  “He’s a mover, maybe he doesn’t wear it.”

  “Let’s be clear, whatever his name is had a mouth. He could have spoken up. Anyway, like I said, you really think I’m the right person?”

  “Not really but I know you’re good with kids. Especially teenagers and preteens since you’re basically one yourself.”

  “Ouch. Fuck you.”

  “It can’t hurt to come down here and interview. He hasn’t found anyone yet and he’s getting frustrated.”

  “Wait, your boss is the senator guy, right? The fine one with a stick up his ass?”

  “He doesn’t have a stick up his ass. He’s nice.”

  “You like him because he’s boring like you.”

  “Why the hell do I try to help you? Why? You don’t do anything but stress me out. I’m so tired of this shit.” Her voice was steeped in exasperation. “Everything in life isn’t going to always come easy to you. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to just to survive.

  I know everything was always handed to you because you’re a prodigy but this is the real world. Nobody cares that you can play six instruments and speak three languages. Nobody cares about Julliard or the fact that you graduated at twenty. None of that is going to pay your bills if you don’t go out there and work your ass off for it.”

  Her frustration bled through the phone and slicked my ear with heat. I hated when Navy got frustrated with me that she was ready to throw up her hands and be done.

  I dropped my fingers and let my arms hang at my side while I pinned the phone to my ear with my shoulder.

  “I know I need to do better.”

  “Then fucking do better, Xari.”

  “Okay, give me the address to your office. I’ll do the interview if you’re sure you can get me in.”

  “I’m going to do my best. I’ll call you back in ten minutes. In the meantime, get dressed. Wear something business casual.”

  “Okay,” I said with a nod.

  As much as I hated it, Navy was right. I couldn’t live off her, Mom, and Dad forever. I had no idea when or if I’d hear back from the philharmonic, so I needed to get my shit together.

  The movers only left me with a handful of clothing and shoe choices so I picked the best business casual dress I could, given the circumstances. I brushed my fluffy natural curls into a sleek bun and put on a pair of small diamond stud earrings.

  I looked like the sexiest Mary Poppins in history. All I needed were glasses perched at the end of my nose to finish the look.

  I smiled when I saw Navy’s number flash across my screen. I answered it in a rush. “Hey, am I in?” I quizzed. Something jittery bounced around in my stomach with hopes that she would say yes. I’d never actually wanted a job before. I was always been content being a student and soaking up all there was to learn. Both academically and in the world. Now, I was anxious to go to an interview for a job that I didn’t even want. What was wrong with me?

  “Yeah. You’re going to be the last one though. There’s one lady before you so you have to get down here as fast as humanly possible, Xari. I’m not telling you to speed but…speed.” She ended the conversation then my phone buzzed with the address to her office.

  I was so going to speed.

  …

  FOUR

  “Are you doing this on purpose, Frankie?” I scowled at my daughter over the folder that contained the resume of the last nanny applicant. She’d turned away every nanny that came through the door. Some of them had shining recommendations from past politicians, celebrities, and even a few teachers and ex-professors. Frankie hated them all.

  “They’re super old and they’re all drooling over you which is pretty cringeworthy. Like…the cringiest.” She brought her shoulders around her ears and shuddered.

  “Well, am I that bad?” I asked, straightening the Windsor knot in my tie. When I smiled, Frankie rolled her eyes.

  “You’re the worst. Anyway, are we done? I want to see if I can bug Apollo to go on a snack run with me.”

  “No,” Apollo’s voice sounded from outside the door.

  “Please,” Frankie begged. Apollo met her whining with silence. I couldn’t blame him one bit.

  “Senator Freeman, you have one last applicant.” Navy Lucas poked her head in the door. Apollo’s gaze flicked to her quickly before he focused on the blank point in front of him. She was the only thing that made him turn his head when he was on duty. I understood why. Navy was a pretty girl. I was sure she turned heads wherever she went.

  “Hey, Frankie!” A bright-eyed, young woman with a wide smile and a perfectly tailored dress, smiled at Frankie and wiggled her fingers in a wave. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. She was the last applicant? She looked like a baby herself.

  Well…not exactly a baby. Not the way her tight slender curves filled out that dress.

  I was a sucker for a well-dressed woman who knew how to pull herself together down to the shoes. My eyes dropped to the absolutely-not-a-baby applicant’s shoes and I lifted an appreciative brow. I wasn’t deep into women’s fashion but I knew luxury and she was dripping with it.

  “I’m Xari Lucas, nice to meet you.” Xari extended her manicured left hand to Frankie. My eyes involuntarily went to her fourth finger before meeting her espresso brown pools.

  Neither Xari nor Frankie were looking at me though. Frankie was enamored. She gifted Xari a smile from ear to ear.

  “Oh my god. You are so bomb.”

  “Thank you. You’re adorable,” she laughed rubbing Frankie’s back. Shit. Frankie wasn’t lying though. Xari Lucas was bomb as fuck.

  “Is your dress Carolina Herrera?” Frankie asked. She had a burst of energy I hadn’t seen during the entire interviewing process.

  “It is. Look at the eye on this one. Now I actually like you and I won’t have to pretend. We’re going to be friends.” She bumped Frankie with her slender but still full hips. I tried to stop noticing her body because it wasn’t professional but goddamn. She had that dress re-stitched just to fit her lines and dips. I wouldn’t have been shocked to find out the seamstress sewed the dress while Xari was wearing it.

  “Are your shoes Jimmy Choo?” Frankie peeped excitedly.

  “They’re Celine but I like your knowledge of fashion, Frank.”

  “I hate people calling me that, but I’ll let you slide.”

  “Well thank you, queen.”

  I almost let them talk amongst themselves because I’d never seen Frankie so engaged with another human being. She had friends but none that she ever invited to her mom’s house or whose house she spent the night over. Watching her talk to Xari was like watching what it would have been like if Frankie had a best friend. The click between them was instant.

  “Nice to meet you, Miss Lucas,” I finally said extending my hand. Light glinted off the crystal face of my Longines watch and drew her eyes down to my wrist.

  “Nice to meet you, Senator Freeman.”

  Her impeccable style appreciated meeting its equal.

  “Please, have a seat. Let’s get this started.” I smiled at her and we all sat down. Frankie’s eyes never left Xari. It was like she’d already hung the moon. That was going to be hard to compete with. I wasn’t going into the interview with the intent to veto the girl, but I had to make sure she was the right fit. I had to check her resume and references. With her being so young I doubted she had the experience I was looking for.

  “Where’s your resume?” I asked. She handed it over and I flipped through it while Frankie made small talk. “It says you went to college at sixteen and graduated from Julliard this year. That’s it other than your strengths and
challenges.” I almost laughed but perhaps I was making a flash judgment.

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I graduated last year and I was hoping to find a place I could grow into and form genuine relationships in. I know I don’t come with stacks of references and experience but I’m dedicated and I already like Frankie. To be honest, Senator Freeman, I need the chance to do something responsible with myself.”

  Her honesty was appreciated but I still looked at her like she had three heads. “You plan to watch my daughter full-time and you have no experience or references to back up your abilities?” My scoff slipped out even though I hadn’t meant for it to. It didn’t matter how attractive Xari was or how deep and dark brown her eyes were or how bad-as-fuck she looked in that dress, nothing could help me get past how inexperienced she was.

  “Daddy, I like her. I didn’t like any of those other women. They’d never understand me.” I heard Frankie but I wasn’t listening. Navy told me her sister needed a job but I thought she’d at least have some experience.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart but she’s not going to work. I have to veto this one.”

  “Oh…” Xari smiled then gave me a short nod before turning to Frankie. “It’s okay. Hopefully, I’ll see you around.”

  Frankie’s face melted when Xari left. A wall erected around her in an instant. A piece of my little girl vanished behind stone and ice.

  “Frankie,” I called out quietly. Her eyes lifted to mine but a part of her was still closed off. “I don’t even know if she can make a schedule. She’s a fine art major. She has no practice working with kids. She might not even know how to cook a whole meal. She’s only eight years older than you for crying out loud.”

  “It’s fine, Dad. Whatever.” She shrugged her shoulders and dropped her eyes to the phone in her hand. I studied her while she scrolled.

  Navy came in after a few minutes and knitted her brows together. “I’m sorry, Senator Freeman. I thought my sister would be a good fit. I know how much everyone loves her so I thought Frankie would like her too.” She offered me a polite smile but I saw the concern on her face.

  “I did like her,” Frankie said without looking up from her phone. “What I like doesn’t matter though.” She stood up and walked into the hallway.

  “First and last time I’m asking.” I heard Apollo’s gruff voice say to Frankie. “Wanna go on a snack run?” I didn’t hear another word, just the sound of them walking away.

  “I’m sorry again, Senator Freeman,” Navy said before walking toward the door.

  “Wait,” I heaved a sigh and waved my fingers at her. When she turned around and looked at me, I slid my index finger up and down the bridge of my nose. “Call her back.”

  “Xari?” She quizzed, raising her brows.

  “Yes.”

  I watched Navy scurry out of the office and to her desk. Her sister must have gotten further than the lobby. I listened to her hushed but excited tone as she told Xari to come back. Before she hung up, I heard her beg her little sister not to act crazy. It made me wonder what kind of firecracker personality she was hiding.

  I stood up when I heard hurried shuffling coming down the hall. Xari stopped in mid-motion when she reached the doorway. It had only been about ten minutes and I was marveling at how flawlessly her dress fit again.

  “Have a seat,” I said, finding my words.

  “I thought I wasn’t good enough without a mound of experience.” Her words were sharp and icy but I brushed them off.

  “If you still want the job, I’d like to hire you.” I clasped my hands on top of the cool mahogany. I found myself trying to focus on anything besides the way the silky material molded over her tits. They were perfect, small cupfuls.

  I forced the memory of how young and inexperienced she was to take control, and all was well again. It was tough not to get caught up in the outside package because she wore it well.

  “I don’t know. I got a lot of experience when I walked out of here embarrassed so…”

  “Do you want the job or not?” I cut her off, irritation taking over the lustful fog. There wasn’t a fog thick enough to make me ignore how immature she was. I wanted to tell her to leave again but I saw that guard forming around Frankie and opted not to. I’d give Xari a try for one month. If it didn’t work, at least I could tell Frankie we tried.

  “Yes, I do,” Xari said, toning her attitude down.

  “Good. I’ll have Navy give you my home address so you can get acquainted with the area. Then we’ll see how you interact with Frankie in her house. If you’re still the top pick…”

  “Only pick,” she corrected with her finger in the air.

  “As I said, if you’re still the top pick, you’ll sign the agreement for your living space, a standard NDA, service employee agreement, terms of service, and salary agreement. You’ll return them, signed, on your first day of work. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds wonderful, Senator Freeman. Thank you.” We shook on the arrangement but I saw something playful in her eyes. “So, I have the job? You’re not going to go back on your word because you don’t want to piss Frankie off, right?”

  “Something like that,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.

  “Good. So you realized not hiring me at first was bullshit, right?”

  “What?” I laughed.

  “It was. I like Frankie and she likes me too. You were the problem.” She shrugged and looked up at me.

  “You’re about to be the problem if you don’t watch your mouth.”

  “You’re Frankie’s daddy. Not mine.” Her sharp attitude was enough to needle under my skin and make me question my decision-making skills. When I thought about the fireflies in Frankie’s eyes and the smile on the face when she talked to Xari, I realized why I hired someone with no experience and a cocky little mouth.

  “Oh my god, you’re back?” Frankie walked through the door with a Target shopping bag hanging around her wrist. I saw the faint outline of snacks through the white plastic. “Wait, did you leave something, or did Daddy finally come to his senses and hire you?”

  “I don’t know if I’d call it coming to my senses or losing my mind but I hired Miss Lucas…part two,” I said, putting my hands in my pockets. Xari’s rich espresso eyes bored into me, playing in the background of Frankie’s ecstatic squeals and laughter. She took me in slowly and I did the same to her. We were sizing each other up. We’d be living together for at least a month and I needed to get a feel for her.

  “I will say this,” I said, pressing the pause button on Frankie’s happiness. “Miss Lucas is only hired after she comes to the house and gets to know our environment. Even after that, it’s only for a probationary one-month period.”

  Frankie’s button nose scrunched into a wrinkle. “What does that mean?”

  “That means,” Xari said, stepping closer to me. Her perfume was light but distinctive. It seemed to emanate from the pulse point at her throat. It smelled floral. Almost like jasmine flowers. “You get a thirty-day trial. If you like it, you buy it.” She narrowed those caffeinated pools at me and I smirked a little.

  “Exactly,” I nodded.

  “Well, that’s fine because I already know I like her. Look at her, Daddy. She’s crazy pretty and she has the best clothes. Please tell me I can go through your closet when you move in.”

  “You can look, you can even touch but you can’t borrow. Deal?” Xari placed delicate hands on firm slender hips and Frankie nodded eagerly. I could never get her to agree to anything so easily. I had to learn Xari’s tricks.

  “Alright, Miss Lucas…”

  “Call me Xari. Miss Lucas makes me feel old and I’m not.”

  She wasn’t old at all. In fact, she was new. Probably still wet behind the ears.

  “I’ll call you Miss Lucas.”

  “Do you call Navy that too? Wouldn’t it get confusing?”

  “He calls her Navy, so I don’t know why he wants to call you by your last name,” Frankie shrugged.


  Wow, my own kid snitched on me gladly for the new nanny. Well, possible new nanny. She had to make it past the one-month mark to be official. I was sticking to that no matter how happy Frankie seemed to be with her.

  “So, I’m the one you’re discriminating against. Cool.” Xari muttered something else under her breath. Something that sounded like it was in another language. My ears burned and I wanted to demand that she tell me what the fuck she said but it would have been unprofessional so I swallowed the words and forced a smile.

  “Nobody is discriminating against you, Miss Lucas. We’ll see you tomorrow at seven sharp.”

  “In the morning?” Xari’s expressive eyes grew wider before she reigned in her shock. “I mean, yes, of course. I’ll be there at seven,” she muttered through gritted teeth. Something told me she barely rolled out of bed before ten on most days.

  What the hell was I getting myself into with this girl? She’d better make one hell of an impression on me over the next thirty days.

  …

  When I woke up the next morning, I heard music playing in Frankie’s room. I forgot what having her live with me meant. I forgot about the giggling on the phone, loud music, dramatic outbursts, and constant power struggles. I had to adjust quickly. Hopefully, having Xari around would help calm the tornado that was a preteen girl.

  I pulled my sleep-laden body out of bed and looked at my nightstand. An empty bottle of Jameson blurred the numbers on my clock. To my left, my laptop was still open but the screen was black. I must have fallen asleep writing. I’d have to go back and check my novel for mistakes. I slid my hands down my face then trudged down the hall. The sun hadn’t even risen in the sky yet. I prepared my best Dad speech then opened Frankie’s bedroom door.

  Frankie was sprawled out on her bed. One earbud in, one out. The white cord that used to be plugged into her phone was dangling off the side of her full-sized bed and her Bluetooth speaker was pumping music.

  When she shifted positions in her sleep, the cord must have come out and the speaker ended up pairing to the phone as a result. I shook my head and paused the song before groaning.